Plastering the fake smile once more, she closed the door behind them and with a last "Thank you for coming" the last guest had finally gone. Sighing quietly she closed her eyes and slowing turned around not wanting to see the state her home after having twenty guest fill its halls and space. Opening her eyes she winced as nearly everything in her house was messy, but the even breathing of her youngest son sleeping on her sofa quickly put a real smile on her face.

He was her angel;the only thing in her heart, well apart from James of course ,but that was different. She frowned as a memory flickered beneath her eye lids of what could be. Shaking her head to clear the bad thought she crept silently close and brushed the messing hair away from his forehead kissing him on the scar that marked his otherwise clear skin.

To think she nearly lost him, it was unbearable.

"Lily! My god we can't do that again" shouted her husband, interrupting a touching moment with his loud voice.

"James, your son" she answered with a roll of her eyes "he is asleep right now and I would like him to stay that way" she smiled when his eyes immediately lightened up at seeing his son on the sofa. He smiled back and slowly walked closer wrapping his arm around Lily's waist smiling down at his son.

It was the perfect clichéd picture, adoring parents looking down at their child; It would have continued longer too,but a shiver went through her like ice, spreading from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes and fingers.

She cuddled into James more and watched with a frown at her sons even breathing. It was like that…night. Untangling herself from James she walked the kitchen sink splashing her face with the ice cold water.

What could be wrong?

"Lily?" she jumped as James unexpected voice flouted into the kitchen.

"Is everything alright?" He came into the kitchen and pulled her into him "what's wrong?"

"I don't know" she mumbled into his shoulder the feeling was getting worse.It was like she was being sucked of all of the blood that warmed her body, she was freezing now. James pulled her closer and kissed her temple.

"I think I'll go to bed" she said as pulled away from his touch. He frowned but said nothing as she walked away, and out of the kitchen, not even looking at her sleeping child.

She walked slowly up the stairs fighting off the growing cold in her body. Stopping at the door at the top right, her heart suddenly gave a jolt and the coldness intensified. She walked slowly to the door and the breath left her lungs when she realised who was behind that door.

"Harry" she breathed her hands shivering "oh god" she walked closer to the door feeling panicky although she didn't know why.

Thud

Thud

Thud

The sound reached her ears and it seemed so out of place. She quickly opened up the door and walked inside the dark room wrapping her in her arms as she did so.

"Harry, honey are you in here?" her brain was addled.Thoughts were there barley a heartbeat before they left her brain. Thoughts of why she didn't feel anything, why Harry wasn't at his own birthday party, why her own child was alone in his bedroom.

"Harry" She called louder walking into the room more.A metallic scent was filling her nose and she could taste it at the back of her throut. Still the sound vibrated in her ears.

Thud

Thud

Thud

She looked towards where the sound was coming from. Her eyes adjusted to the light in the room, but still she couldn't see anything.

"Lumos" The room was illuminated the light blinded her for a second before she looked towards the sound of the noise.

Her brain shut down, unable to deal with what she was seeing. Harry was in the middle of the bed led down.He was white, so white, he looked dead.There was blood everywhere, more then could possibly be in a small boys body. It covered the large bed, the floor everywhere, it pooled around him. He looked like some erethral; being ,Vaguely in the back of her mind she heard screaming, continuous screaming, and James's voice telling her to quite, to move,to let go.

There was blood all round her now; in her hair, on her hands, in was burning her skin and still in the background was screaming and the thud, thud, thud of the blood hitting the floor. Harry's face was near her now he looked so- dead. His white skin was going grey and he breath didn't seem to be happening. Her hands were shaking from the cold she still felt. The warm blood on her freezing skin was like hells fire. It was agony and her very thoughts were escaping her grasp.

Silence.

For a second it had stopped. James was talking to her but she couldn't hear she couldn't contemplate.

One word had stopped her in her tracks.

"Mummy" Jay had come into the room; he was standing by the door holding onto the frame his nose was pinched as though he could smell something bad.His eyes squinting as the light forming from her wand pointed to him.

"Mummy is you in here? Daddy"

She looked at Harry's white face, so similar to Jay,and was torn. She wanted to go to Jay and she wanted to stay with Harry. Just as she was about to let go of Harry and move towards Jay, James walked over to Jay and picked him up.

"Jay, go back to bed" he was looking at her as he said this. Suddenly, she realised that Harry was most likely dying in her arms;and she was giving him a cuddle like nothing was happening. Urgency raced through her body warming it up. She picked up Harry cradling him in her arms and and walked to fire in her room opposite. In the back of her mind she heard James and Jay arguing.

"Jason, be silent" she reprimanded he looked at her shocked for she never uses his full name "James take him to Sirius' then go on to St Mongo's"

"I want to stay with- never mind" he broke off and looked away from Harry's still from in her arms " Hurry, okay, just be quick. I love you both" with a pop he was gone.

Everything seemed to be getting in order, but still she was numbed ,her body not letting her fell what she wanted. James face had looked dead of emotion, although it was already red and puffy from crying. She wondered what she looked like.

She stepped into the fire praying that everything would be alright not realising something.

Harry had stopped breathing.

--

He had always been a calm man; even tempered if you will, he didn't like yelling at people or hitting them ,at least not anymore .But for merlins sake if that damn witch didn't tell him where Harry was he was going to curse her from here to the next life!

"Look, he's was bought here about an hour ago bleeding form the wrist! I'm his Dad okay, so just tell me where my son is!"

"Mr Potter I can't tell you we –" she sounded bored and that just made him madder.

"That it!" he was about to pull out he wand when Sirius hand stopped him.

"Are you sure you can't help us? It would make me very happy" Sirius was smiling at the receptionist and she was falling for his charm hook, line and sinker.

"I mean, he's my godson and I'm terribly worried about him"

"Oh you poor thing" she simpered "Well as you are family then, names?"

"Thanks you so much its Sirius Orion Black and –"

"James Potter" He cut him off mid sentence.

"I'll just check the records" she giggled but staring at the screen the smile dropped from her face "I'm sorry, but he's in the intensive care unit you'll have to wait for a healer to come get you"

He closed his eyes and walked away from the witch. It was as though all of the fight had gone out of him; Harry was in intensive care he didn't even know there was an intensive care! It couldn't have been that bad he just needed a blood replenotioning potion right?

Bile was rising in his throut at the memory of all of the blood. It got everywhere ,on his hands, on his face and even on his precious Lily.

"James" Sirius voice caught his attention and he was taken away from his thoughts

"Yeah"

"What happened?" It was a fair questioned, there hadn't been really any time for explanations at his home. He just rushed in there with Jay in his arms covered in blood. It was like a blur to him now, but it was agreed Sirius would go with him while Remus would stay with Jay.

"It's Harry" he couldn't even get out the rest the would were dying in his throat, forming into a lump that wouldn't let him speak.

"I guessed that, but what happened to him?" There was no smile on his face now, no trace of the old Sirius that flirted with the receptionist. His eyes were boring into him against his will everything was spilling out, from forgetting about him to that very night. Throughout the entire confession Sirius had remained silent, not letting an emotion pass onto his face.

"Sirius, say – say something!"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Any –"

"What about how you let your youngest son get hold of a razor?" he cut James off" Or how about how a child, a fucking child! Could know about slitting his wrist? Huh? Or let's try how YOU FORGOT YOU SON! HOW HE WASN'T EVEN AT HIS OWN BIRTHDAY PARTY!" His voice had been getting steadily louder throughout the entire speech until he was shouting.

"I –"

"Save it, I don't care you – your not fit to be a father" He flinched, but didn't say anything.

"You disgust me, I asked you, --I asked you where he was! do you remember that? I had a present for him and I asked you where he was .You just had to feed me some bullshit didn't you?" He remembered that it was a few minutes into the party; Sirius had asked to give Harry his present in person, instead of putting it on the large table where all the other present were being kept. He has said that Harry was upstairs ill and that he would be down later. But he had forgotten to go find him he had meant to though, doesn't that count for anything? When Sirius got pulled away later by an emergency at work he had just forgot…

"I was going to-"

"Going to what? Cover it up like the coward you are?" he voice was was full of indignation and it was slowly breaking his resolve not to let a tear fall infront of his friend. He didn't understand it, an hour ago he was so happy, Jay was so happy. Now, now he felt like he was drowning he couldn't keep his head above the water. His insides were filled with ice and every breath, every beat of his broken heart was a struggle.

"You're supposed to be my brother" he said it straight into Sirius eyes; watching as they turned darker,like a storm was forming in his eyes,until it's finally it over spilled.

"I AM YOUR BROTHER!" Sirius bellowed The receptionist that had been pretending not to listen to their conversation, turned sharply. Sirius came at him lifting him by the scruff of his robes and smashing his back into the wall.

"That makes Harry my nephew" he was whispering now into James ear "That makes him family and you nearly LET HIM DIE!" He shouted the last part and bashed James into the wall again. He let go and took a step back. James Face was wet now he tried to hold back the tears.

"I promised you when he was born I would protect him, protect them both" Sirius voice was getting thick and tears were brimming in his eyes "If I even have to protect him for you and Lily, I will"

"What do you mean?" fear was spreading through him now, and it seemed as though there was nothing to him. He had faced Voldemort but all of that strength all of that fight had left him. He was a bumbling mass of a wizard who couldn't even stand up.

"You don't honestly think that they will let you keep custody do you?" His tone was mocking and one usually reserved for Snape only.

"He's my son –"

"You nearly let him die; he slashed his own fucking wrist James! If he lives, I'm going to fight you and Lily for custody"

"You can't-"

"You named be magical Godfather James, which means I have equal parental rights. You also named in your will that if in the event you and Lily can't look after them I get custody of both boys"

"But-"

"No buts James, I'm going to fight you for custody of Harry, merlins knows what will happened to Jay"

--

Okay, I'm sure this is riddled with mistakes and what not. You see , I need a beta. My problem is no matter how many times I read it through I read what should be there,not what is there.

So please reveiw (that make me write faster...) and help me find a beta that is very very very good at English, unlike me!

Thanks for reading...now reveiw!

Ps-I hope you liked the long chapter! over two thousand words!