Cat or Mouse?

October 10th, 2000

Unknown Location

"You took longer than I expected." L dangled the phone next to his ear in his characteristic way with one hand while his other pushed cake around on the plate laying on the desk in front of him.

"Don't give me that."

A masked voice, that of a husky gentleman, answered him playfully. L returned his own synthesized voice.

"I expected some kind of contact, of course, but not anything of this nature."

"Ah. You think I'm either desperate, or incredibly confident in my position. Is that it?"

"Yes. I must say, it would behoove me to believe that you are desperate . . . that I've pushed you into a corner. But, I get the feeling that this isn't the case. It seems you've chosen the corner."

"Hmmm, you're very perspicacious. A shame you're stuck playing PI."

"I could say the same about you. What a waste of your ability."

"Careful, detective. My head is big enough already." There was a short mechanical laugh.

L shoved a piece of cake into his mouth. "The bigger it is, the more likely you are to make a mistake."

"And you'll be right there, waiting, won't you?"

"I like to think so. To be honest, whenever I think I have you right where I want you, I only end up finding you right behind me – with my pants around my ankles." He held up his fork, frowning at the chunk of chocolate in front of him.

Another laugh. "Eloquently put, detective. In return for your honesty, I'll tell you that it's not behind you that you'll find me. Not my style. I'd prefer it the other way around, really."

"Is that so? I can't say that I find either position appealing." he swallowed hard.

"Don't be so sure."

Both fell into silence. L took the opportunity to enjoy another piece of his cake as he found himself wondering if he had made the right choices in this case. The voice on the other line ripped him from his thoughts.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

"I'm told you've never shown 'yours' to anyone in these circumstances."

"The same goes for you as well, detective."

"You're well informed."

"It pays well. So, are you game?"

L swallowed, and set his fork down. "I wasn't expecting this. May I ask why?"

"It only seems fitting. Besides, I'm lonely. Humor someone whose days are numbered, won't you?"

Silence, again. Both waited for the other speak, neither unsure of how to proceed.

"Well," a woman's voice spoke into his ear . . . soft and cheery. "Are you surprised?"

L's own voice answered her, low and calm. "I am. Not at all what I expected."

He heard her laugh again, this time a light sing-song sound. "Isn't that just like a man, to expect one he considers his equal to be another male."

"That's not it. All accounts have you as male." He quieted for a moment before adding, "Now I understand your meaning earlier."

"As you can see, I'm not equipped for any ankle grabbing on your part. If I may say, your voice suits you perfectly. It gives me the impression of someone in deep thought . . . someone always in control of the situation. Your accent is . . . comical."

"Are you trying to endear yourself to me?"

"Is it working?"

"No."

"Then no, I wasn't. If that is what I wanted, then I wouldn't be on your shit list. I don't imagine you're one to fraternize with the enemy, so to speak."

"You would think that, wouldn't you? In cases such as yours, I'm always willing to make an exception. You'd certainly have your uses."

She laughed again, the sound tickling his brain.

"I'm sorry. Are you trying to scout me?"

"Maybe. The way I see it, you aren't the be-all-end-all when it comes to these things. I'm sure I'll face even tougher cases in the future. Having you on my side would be a wise idea, don't you agree?"

"My, you do have an odd way of flirting with women. I shudder to think of your idea of foreplay, no pun intended."

It was L's turn to laugh at that – a rough, childlike giggle that emanated false innocence.

"You said it yourself – your ego is big enough as it is. I think I've given you the false impression that I believe I am incapable of defeating you, but that's not accurate."

"I see. Instead of wasting time with chasing the inevitable, you would just rather take the quickest way out – turning me."

"Not exactly. You don't have to be "turned". You simply need guidance in the proper way of achieving your ideals. Compared to me, you're an innovator. But you choose unconventional means of achieving your goals. If you would look at things as they are, and not as they should be, you would see that you're setting yourself up to fail spectacularly."

"Of all the . . . talk about self-centered." She shot back at him. "And the way you talk is both polite and blasphemous. Just as I suspected – you're the type of person that I don't like. You lecture at me, and yet you've chosen not to live your own life but to offer it up to the world."

"You fail to realize that you fall in the same category as I." L responded quietly.

She sighed. "Must be hatred of one's own kind."

"It's not that I don't understand your motives." L started on the cup of coffee sitting next to his empty dish before continuing. "But your execution is poor. You have made enemies of a lot of people in high places. Manipulating people is easy, yet you've managed to make a total mess of it."

"Manipulation wasn't what I had in mind. My intention was exposure. It's not my place to judge – let their peers judge them. I am but a vanishing arbitrator."

"A vanishing fool, you mean. And once you're work is done, you'll leave a chaotic path of destruction behind you."

"Wrong again. I will see it through until the end. Make no mistake - if that means I have to dispose of you in order to accomplish my mission, then that is exactly what I'll do, and I'll make an example of you, the greatest detective in the world, in the process."

L didn't respond immediately. Idle threats weren't a part of her MO.

"I believe you," he said quietly. "I'm surprised we are even having this conversation. To succeed, it would have been logical to eliminate your opponents before anything else."

"That's true, detective. But I have a use for you, which is why I'm calling."

"Use? Care to share?"

"Certainly. L."

L felt his heart skip a beat. "L . . ." he repeated, putting the ball back in her court.

"That's right. He's proving to be more of a pest than I thought he would be."

"So I hear. What does that have to do with me?"

"Well, how badly do you want to catch me?"

"More than anything." he answered honestly.

"I see. If the both of you persist in nipping at my feet with every step I take, I may just postpone my plans and disappear. Then both of you will lose. Is that acceptable?"

"So, what do you propose? An alliance between you and I?"

"My, but you are a quick one. Temporarily, yes."

"Why don't I just ally myself with L then, if I'm going to compromise so much?"

"Why don't you?" she replied curtly.

L pretended to think for a moment. "He's too unpredictable. I don't care for the way he does things."

"And you want all the kudos, don't you?"

"That too. Are you saying you're going to let me have you, then?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. The way I see it, we both want the same piece of cake. But we can't both have it and eat it, too. You might be able to stop me, but you can never catch me. I can run, but my plans will have been foiled. So I thought to myself . . . why not split the cake in half? I'll succeed, and you'll have caught your man. We each give up something, and meet in the middle."

"If I refuse?"

"I'll put myself out of reach of both of you. But I don't want that, and you don't want that. And I'm sure L doesn't want that. My surrender, under my terms, is the best option I see for two out of three of us. I win, you win. L loses entirely."

"If you lose?" he asked.

"No one wins. Both of you will have to admit defeat, and I'll have failed."

"So, you want me to deal with L in order to guarantee your success. In exchange, you'll turn yourself in to me? Am I to just take your word on the matter?"

"Is my word no good to you?"

"I trust you about as far as I can throw an elephant." He answered politely, as if he were complimenting her.

She chuckled at him. "You do have a way with words, detective. Do you have an alternative in mind?"

This was it, L thought. After this, there was no turning back.

"Constant physical proximity."

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Is that it?"

"I can't have criminal masterminds running free. Hindering L will give you more freedom than I can allow, so I'll need to balance his absence with my presence. You know this."

"You'd put yourself at my mercy just to win?"

"Hardly. I'll have an out at any time, and there would be consequences for any hostile actions on your part. Moreover, I don't think you're a killer."

"That's an unwise assumption. I'm a very good actress."

"Maybe so, but I've made up my mind on the matter, and I'm never wrong when it comes to judging character."

"And you'll bet your life on this judgment of yours, detective?"

"Of course. I trust myself completely."

"Arrogant, self-righteous–"

"I'd also like your assurance that you would preserve my life to the best of your ability, if this were to happen."

"I thought my word was no good?"

"Please do it anyway."

"Alright. You have my word on the matter."

"Confidentiality?"

"As important to me as it is to you, if not more so."

"I'd also require a signed confession."

"Agreed."

"Good. It's settled then. Now, what shall I call you?"

"You may call me whatever your heart desires."

"That wouldn't be appropriate." Another wolf in sheep's clothing.

"Ouch. Your sense of humor is atrocious."

"I'm sorry if you thought I was joking. That wasn't the case."

"I see. Addendum to our agreement – the verbal abuse should be kept to a minimum."

"Negotiations are over, you can't add anything now."

"Zoë will be fine."

"As you please. How will I contact you, Zoë?"

"You won't. I'll be in touch. Until then, detective."

The line went dead. Immediately, L sent a remote request to Watari via his laptop. He waited for that signature 'W' to fill the screen.

"Anything?" he spoke into the microphone.

"Nothing of use. It looks as if it originated from your own phone."

L looked down at his phone, his eyes narrowing. "How is that possible?"

"I'm not sure, but my best guess would be that she sniffed the network and cloned your phone's identity."

"I see. Thank you."

L rested his chin on his knees as he pushed his phone in circles on the desk with his finger. He went over the conversation in his head over and over, each time categorizing and storing bits and pieces of information. He weighed the risks, running simulations of every possible outcome in his mind, and concluded that the benefits far outweighed anything else.

If he made no mistakes, and maybe even gained her trust, things could turn out far better than he ever could have hoped. She would unknowingly reveal more information than he needed, while believing she was giving him just enough. He smiled inwardly – she would underestimate him, as they always do, and give him enough time to get what he needed from her.

L sighed. That was best case scenario.

The truth was, he'd been on this case for months, and he was no closer to anything than he had been when he first started. She had an uncanny knack for hiding, especially right out in the open. He'd went through countless statements from some of the most decorated agents any organization had to offer, and all of them read like some of kind of ghost story. No one ever saw anything twice, as if whatever they saw in the first place was never there. And then there were those little instances that no one ever paid much attention to, until after all was said and done, and only then did they realize how easily "he" was able to move around.

Any information obtained would never make any sense, and by the time anyone got around to checking it out, it was a useless dead-end.

Aliases, known whereabouts, even suspected holdings all had limited shelf-life, and were always expired by the time he found out about them. Apparently, making new identities wasn't something at all difficult for her. Neither was moving money, which still remained a complete mystery.

And the fact that all parties involved were looking for a man didn't help anything at all. Nevermind that the rare few who'd actually talked to authorities all described a different liaison. It seemed as though she never used the same person twice.

So when she'd said disappear, L knew that meant that no one, not even him, would ever be able to find her. And he'd be damned if he'd let her just close shop and go back under the rock she'd crawled out from, leaving his case wide open.

No. End of discussion.

More importantly, he'd be stuck obsessing about the whole ordeal – how did she pull this off, or why would she do that? Not being able to figure out the methods to her madness would drive him mad, and he knew he'd never be able to let it go. If he had to add his name to the list of people who'd given up promising careers to pursue her, then that was fine.

Whatever it was that was forcing her to sacrifice her freedom was definitely something he needed to be privy to, and if that meant 'working' for her, then that's what had to be done.

Now, he just had to figure out how to play a convincing Eraldo Coil keeping 'L' at bay.