Author: Chrissy
Title: I Turn To You - ©May 2002
Couples: Jason/Robin, Jax/Brenda, Sonny/Carly, Sonny/Brenda, Zander/Carly, Zander/Robin, Jason/Elizabeth, Lucky/Courtney
Chapter Spoilers: Robin and Jason meet on the bridge, again.. Robin has a secret, will Sonny keep it from Jason?.. There's a psychopathic stalker lurking around Port Charles, who will be his next victim?
Song Credit(s): "Cry", by Mandy Moore
Sonny's Penthouse-- Sonny/Brenda/Robin
There, she stood before him just as alive and beautiful as she was the last time he had seen her. Was it a dream? Brenda had died that night, when her mother drove their car over a cliff.. right? Sonny distantly let his mind wander to all the times Jax had left in search of his beloved Brenda, yet each time.. he'd come up empty-handed. 'This wasn't a dream..' he told himself. 'Brenda IS alive.. and she's standing only a few feet away from me.'
"This is real?" he breathed in slowly, refusing to take his eyes off of her. "Your real?"
"I'm as real as I'm ever going to be." she answered with a small, yet hesitant smile. She knew that being there for Sonny was probably the best thing she could have ever done, but she didn't exactly feel comfortable with the way that he was looking at her. A part of her still loved him, would always love him.. but she knew, her heart didn't belong to him. Or so she thought..
Standing between her best friends, Robin didn't exactly feel like this was a place that she should be at that moment. Smiling, she approached Sonny, embracing him into her arms. "I think I'm going to go and re-acquaint myself with old friends.. give the two of you your space, okay?" she slowly pulled away from him, as she stood face to face with Brenda. "Call me later, okay?"
Robin exited Sonny's penthouse, and once again, the room was filled with a dead silence as the ex-lovers only stared each other down, neither knowing what to say next. Sonny moved to the sofa once again, taking the position that he had vaccated only a few minutes before, and Brenda soon followed, seating herself next to him.
"So," he began. "exactly how long were you going to make all of us think that you were dead before Robin talked you into coming home with her?"
Brenda groaned at Sonny's stubborness. She should've figured that something like this was going to happen, especially since Sonny has never been an easy man to talk to. "No matter what hand life deals to you, or the changes you go through with each tragic outcome.. one thing will ALWAYS reamin the same..." she silently let her tone trail off as she looked away from him.
"Yeah?" his tone was questioning. "What would that be?"
"You." she spoke softly, turning towards him again. "For those people that care about you, they feel like they need to build they're lives around something that they don't want, only so they don't disappoint you. You look at they're betrayl as a cold-hearted murder, when honestly, it's not that bad. Then, when you turn around and betray someone that YOU love, the story is completely different. You made a mistake, and you look back on it like you should die because you did something horrible that you regret." she finished with a sigh, brushing back a strand of her hair. "Sonny, everyone makes mistakes, and not everything revolves around you.. not everyone wants to hurt you. There are very few people that still care about you, and you won't let them back in.. give them a second chance, all because your afraid that they'll burn you again."
"You haven't been around, Brenda.. you don't know what's happened here in Port Charles since you 'died' in nineteen-ninety-eight."
"I know more than enough to know that you've been through alot since that time. I found Robin more than a year ago, and since then, she's told me everything that has happened in Port Charles. AJ finding out the truth about his son with Carly.. Jason finding you with Carly, leading all the way up to his shooting.. Carly's pregnancy and miscarriage with your child.. Chloe's death.. and now, Carly's death. I know it all, not only from Robin, but.." she suddenly cut herself off after realizing that her new occupation was something she wasn't sure she wanted Sonny to know.
"But what? Brenda.. what aren't you telling me?"
"For the last year and a half, I've been working with the WSB, and so has Robin."
"Your an agent?!"
"Yeah, we both are."
"I, hmmm.. I don't know what to say. This is definitely a suprise, to say the least. It's not that I have a problem, but.. woah, I can just see Jason now, when finds out about the dangerous life Robin has decided to lead.."
"Let's just hope it doesn't come to that, okay?"
The Bridge-- Jason/Robin
It was almost an hour after she had left Sonny penthouse, and this was the only place she had gone to. Maybe it was to clear her head, or even to think rationally of her decision to come, who really knew? In Port Charles, the bridge always been the one and only place Robin would go to for answers.. for comfort-- for peace of mind. Usually, as fate would have it, Jason would miracalusly meet her on the bridge.. they would talk, and usually it lead to a make-up or break-up. Yet, this time, it felt so different for Robin. This time she knew that even though she was back in Port Charles, the possibility of a reunion was slim. Both were too stubborn to admit they were wrong.. yet, when one had, it'd be Robin.. and these days, she was tired.. tired of admitting she was wrong, when it was clear that everything that had always gone wrong in her relationship with Jason wasn't her fault. In fact, it was nobody's fault, maybe they just weren't meant to be together, and fate was simply trying to tell them that.
Leaning against the railing, while she let her hair breeze with the wind, she looked tearfully down on the waters. 'It looks so beautiful at night.' she thought. The moon glistened down on the water, giving off a crystalized look that Robin took definite notice to. Slowly looking up and to the stars, she smiled slightly, wishing.. hoping, that someway, somehow she could find the answers to her complicated problems of life.
"Life is just, so.. difficult. I know, I should hate you for the hell that you put me through, but-- the irony of it all," she paused slightly, looking up tearfully at the sky again. "no matter what's happened. I still love you, and I guess.. I always will."
She continued to look out distantly at the water, still debating on whether her love for Jason was something that she wanted to try for. She let her mind wander back to when she was happy, truly happy. Long before Carly had entered the picture, she was actually happy with her life, with Jason. Of course, she hated the life he had decided to lead with the mob, but they were still happy. They loved each other, and to her, that's the only thing that ever mattered. Yet now, as much as she'd love to believe that he still loved her, she found that fact unbelieveable to a point.
Turning around quickly, as multiple tears fell rapidly down her cheeks, she pressed her back against the railing. She shouldn't do this, looking back on memories, it only brought more tears.. but she couldn't help herself. The bridge-- their bridge held so many precious memories, yet at the same time, they were just as heartbreaking. She leaned her neck back and stared peacefully up at the beautiful, shining stars.
"I, I shouldn't do this to myself.. I shouldn't allow myself to fall even more in love with him." she told herself. "Is that even possible? To fall even more in love? My god.. listen to me? I am so pathetic! He hates me.. ever since I told AJ the truth about Michael, he's hated me. That won't change." she convinced herself.
Her eyes grew a blood red with each tear that followed. She didn't want to cry, not for him.. but she couldn't control that. She couldn't control what she felt, even she knew that if she could.. she'd choose to fall out of love with him. Her cries grew louder, as she allowed herself to sink to the ground, hugging her knees tightly to her chest, her hair falling over her eyes. Suddenly, a few dark clouds moved in, covering Robin's stars, when hard rain had chosen to fall upon her.
As she sat there, crying peacefully.. she suddenly felt the urge to look up, and that was when she saw him. His bright, sapphire blues starring through her soul and straight to her heart.
"Jason..." she whispered, breathing heavily.
I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
...and ended so soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at the dark grey sky
...I was changed
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment that I saw you cry
It was late in September
...and I've seen you before (and you were)
You were always the cold one
...but I was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring up at the dark grey sky
...I was changed
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment that I saw you cry
I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to be your everything.. alright
I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon...
In places no one would find...
"Robin," he breathed, passion building within his tone. "I could ask you the same, but it wouldn't be woth it. Meaning, that we're both here for the same, obvious reasons."
"What do you mean?" she questioned, confused.
Sighing, "No matter what's happened, we could never stay away from this place. It's a part of us, a part of who we are. It's what connects us." he answered. "Now, it's my turn to ask a question-- actually two. Why are you here, in Port Charles.. and, why.. are you sitting in the rain?"
Still looking up at him, she pulled herself up to her feet, not taking her eyes off him for even a second. Her dark hair was dripping wet, her clothes were soaked, and tricklets of rains feel over her face, which made it difficult to tell whether she was crying or not. Luckily, Jason couldn't tell, and Robin was thankful for that.
"I'm here because," she paused for a slight moment after realizing that it was too soon. Even though it had been four years since they last saw each other, Robin wasn't yet sure if she wanted to start something up with him again. "Sonny." she added, her tone a bit half sided, like she had something else on her mind.
"You heard about Carly?" he questioned knowingly.
"Yeah, I heard." she answered distantly. "You wouldn't how quickly news travels from Port Charles to Paris." she added jokingly with a giggle. After realizing that she was the only one laughing, and looking to Jason and seeing the pain in his eyes, she wished she could take her words back, but she knew she wouldn't. Especially since honesty was one of her most popular traits. "I'd like to say that I'm sorry for that last remark, but if I did, I'd be lying. Jason, you should know more than anyone that Carly was one of my least favorite people, but I--"
"Robin," he whispered, placing a finger lightly upon her lips. "You don't need to explain yourself to me. I know that you hated Carly-" he was shortly cut off as she tried to interrupt, but he beat her to it by simply moving both hands to each side of her beautiful face. "BUT I know you would never want her dead. As much as our relationship might be dead to the both of us, the one thing that I am more than sure of is the fact that you would NEVER wish death upon anyone, even if that person was your worst enemy."
Silent for moments that seemed to want to last forever, she finally spoke, yet still.. her tone was as distant as ever. "Jason, I never hated her.. Carly, I mean. I just, I didn't like her very much. I hated what she did to us.. I hated how she used Michael to come between us, and I hated how she used her insecurities to bring you closer to her, but I NEVER hated her." she explained, moving away from his grasp and crossing to the other end of the bridge, looking distantly out at the water as she spoke to him. "I'm not exactly sure why I'm really here, or what I should feel when it comes to this dark tragedy, but I definitely know I never hated Carly. She was misunderstood, and she made alot of mistakes.. which is something that I definitely won't judge her for."
He stood silent, as he usually did while listening to her. His expression remained emotionless, which hadn't changed over the years she had known him. Her back remained turned to him, yet he never took his eyes off of her. As familiar as it all seemed, he couldn't help but think how different she seemed to be.
Approaching her, but keeping his distance, he leaned over the bridge, looking down at the same waters that Robin's eyes were fixated on. "I'm sorry." was all he would allow himself to say.
"For what?" she questioned, her eyes moving away from the water and focusing themselves on him.
"For doubting you. For hurting us.. and for not believing in our love."
She was shocked to finally hear the words, something she had never expected to hear him say. Then, after she listened to his last words, it hurt her terribly to hear that he never believed in their love. "You never believed in our love?" she questioned hurtfully, great pain revealed behind her dark brown eyes.
"No. I mean, I did.. but then, everything just got so complicated, and I guess.. I just stopped believing, because I thought you had changed."
Sighing nonchalantly, she opened her mouth to speak. "As much as I'd like to tell you that I changed, I can't.. because then I'd be lying. It was you, you were the one to change. You fell in love with Carly and out of love with me, and that's when you just stopped believing in our love. And at this point, I don't think there's any greater pain then knowing that."
"Robin, I-"
She gently interrupted him. "No Jason, you can't excuse this. Look, I-- do you even know why I really came here?"
He looked at her expectantly, wondering what she would say next. "No, I don't."
"I came back here because I thought we still had a chance.. I, I thought that you still loved me, but I guess I just proved myself wrong, now didn't I?" she stated, her tone was filled with such coldness that not even Jason could recognize. "Yeah, it hurts, but I can deal with it. I'll move on, I always do. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to move back to Paris just to get away from you, the memories and the life we could've had together..." she slowly let her voice trail off as she looked away from him tearfully and back out at the water. "Nothing has changed with us, and that's why I KNOW we could never be together again."
"I'm with Elizabeth now." he stated lightly, and out of the blue.
"Yeah, I think I knew that all along." she stated vaguely. "Don't expect to be judged Jason, because it won't happen-- not from me. What we shared together was a love that couldn't last, we just weren't meant to be together. You moved on, first with Carly.. then with Elizabeth. And, I guess that I should too. I can't keep living in the past, because we both know that if I do, I'll always depend on you to be there for me, and I can't do that. Not anymore."
After Robin's speech, the night was filled with a dead silence that neither had been accustomed to since the last time they saw each other, since the last day they said goodbye.
"Will you promise me one thing?" he finally spoke, locking his eyes on her again.
"What?" she sighed heavily, wanting nothing more than to get the conversation over with.
"That you'll be happy." he stated simply. "I might not always be there for you, Robin, and I know that I've caused you more than enough pain to last you a lifetime, but.. I don't think I'll be truly happy until I know you are."
She smiled shortly, "I'll manage."
"That's not enough." he groaned with frustration, brushing his fingers roughly through his blonde locks.
"Don't worry about me, Jase, I'm not your problem anymore. I have everything that I ever wanted, almost." she stated, her last words were light, and distant, which bothered Jason. "I think, this is truly for the best.. because even if we were to be together again, it'd be unfair to you. Especially after we both know that my time is running shorter with each day that I live."
Angered with her tone, he grabbed both of her arms fiercely and turned her towards him, forcing her to stare into his deep blues. "Don't you even think, not even for a minute, that you were EVER a problem for me. You were a blessing Robin, and I cherish each day I have spent with you. I always have, and I probably always will.. for that you'll remain in my heart for an eternity. Yet, as far as doubting your time left, nothing angers me more than to hear you talk about dying! Do you even have the slightest idea how badly all of this hurts? Talking about the past and our love is one thing, I can deal with that.. just the thought of you dying, nothing is more heartbreaking than that."
Residing with her own anger, she remarked casually. "It's going to happen, Jason.. whether it be tomorrow, next week.. or even a year from now, I'm still going to die. I'm HIV POSITIVE, I have been for almost seven years now. I'm not going to live with a disease like that forever, you know. One way or another, your just going to have to accept that.. because it's going to happen, and you know it."
"Maybe, but I won't lose you, Robin. I won't let this kill you.. I'm not going to let this damn disease take you away from me."
"One thing, it's already killing me.. and another, it's already taken me away from you." she answered coldly.
Not knowing what else to say, he slowly released her from his grip and slowly backed away from her, looking up at the stars with a secret prayer. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
"Honestly?" she remarked distantly. "It's the only way I know how to live.. to deal with what I know will ultimately happen. And I guess, that when I do die, it's the only way I'll truly be happy, because I.. I'll be with Stone."
Looking at her, he groaned, "You're lying."
"And you would be an expert on that, now wouldn't you?"
Looking away from her, and down at his feet, he was defeated. "I.. I don't know what to say?"
"There isn't anything left to say." she remarked casually, approaching him slowly and embracing him surprisingly. For her, it felt so good to be in his arms again, but she knew that this would be the last time. Pulling away and looking up at him, she whispered. "Goodbye Jason." as she silently disappeared into the night.
He waited until she was gone before leaning against the railing and looking up at her stars. She had defeated him at his own game, except one fact remained.. this wasn't a game-- it never was. It was truly over between them, and he knew there was nothing he could do to change that. 'How did it come to this?' he found himself wondering. 'When did I lose her?' Looking away from the stars, he shifted and looked out at the water.
Distantly, he spoke, "I guess what they say is true. Once you find that truly special something, you won't realize what you have until.. it's actually, gone." a silent tear fell out of the corner of his eye and slipped down his cheek. "I still love her." he whispered solemnly.
Sonny's Penthouse-- Sonny/Jason
The next morning, both Robin and Brenda were already long gone away from Sonny's-- Brenda was staying at Jake's, and Robin at her uncle Mac's. And now, Sonny was desperately trying to make progress with his latest situation. Johnny knocked twice, as usual, then entered. On the phone with Benny again, he quickly turned towards Johnny as he heard him come in.
"What is it, Johnny?"
"You have a visitor, Mr. Corinthos." he answered. "You thought that seeing Ms. Barrett was a surprise, wait until you see this person."
"I don't like surprises, Johnny, you should know that better than anyone."
Jason enters after Johnny and stands with his hands crossed, staring directly into Sonny's eyes. "Sonny."
Silent for a moment, he went back to his conversation. "Benny, I'll have to call you back." he hung up the phone quietly, shifting his head slightly and staring emotionless at his visitor. "When did you get back?"
"Last night." he immediately answered. "I kind of ran into a problem when I got here."
Knowingly, Sonny answered. "Robin, huh?"
"Yeah, how did you know?" he questioned curiously. "Nevermind that, I well.. I saw her on the bridge, and we had quite an exchange of words. That had to be the," he paused for a moment, looking to be deep in thought. "at least tenth time we've said goodbye."
"She's leaving again?" Sonny's face fell. "Because of you, right?" his last words were sarcastic, yet honest.
Jason reluctantly shrugged off Sonny's crude words. "No, she's not leaving Port Charles again. I guess, this time her stay is permenent. But-- it was goodbye for us. She's here for you Sonny, to help you through Carly's death."
"You told her about Elizabeth?" he questioned knowingly. Moving behind the bar, he poured himself a drink and took a seat on his leather-cad sofa. "What exactly happened between the two of you?"
"Yes, I told her about Elizabeth, and somehow, I guess she already knew. Too much happened down on that bridge, and I really don't want to get into all of it right now, but one this is certainly for sure.." he silently let his voice trail off as he looked away from his friend.
"Yeah, and what would that be?"
"She seems to be getting on with her life just fine.. without me."
Appearing to look deep in thought, Sonny spoke distantly, "Brenda's back."
"I heard." Jason replied profoundly.
"From who?" he questioned defensively, insinuating that Jason knew the whole time and didn't tell him.
"Johnny told me." he quickly added with a soft chuckle. "At least now, you have something. I mean, Brenda doesn't make up for losing Carly, but at least your not completely and utterly alone."
"Brenda and Carly were two completely different people who had only two things in common; one, they had my love.. and two, they were both as stubborn as hell. Losing Brenda was like losing my soul, and I didn't get that back until I fell in love with Carly, and now that she's gone, and Brenda's back.. I feel, I-- I really don't know what to feel. Those feelings are still there, and I think there's a part of me that still loves her, that will always love her. But, I doubt that we would ever be able to go back to what we had. So much has changed..."
"I know exactly how you feel.." he murmured distantly.
"What was that?" Sonny's attention was diverted from his thoughts and onto Jason.
"What?" Jason quickly answered, snapping out of his own thoughts.
Not even thinking about it, "Did she tell you?" he asked, thinking back on his dicussion with Brenda, and how she had revealed to him that both her and Robin were WSB Agents.
"Did she tell me what?" Jason questioned, drawing a blank to his entire coversation with Sonny. Each question was answered with a question, and it only grew confusing.
"She didn't tell you..." his voice slightly trailed off after he realized the mistake he just made. Now not only did Jason not know about Robin working as an WSB Agent, but his suspicion to that clue would grow if Sonny chose not to tell him. "Just, forget I said anything.. okay."
"Sonny," Jason began nonchalantly. "would you mind letting me know what the hell is going on here?" his words were dripping with anger, and he stood facing Sonny, his arms crossed and his eyes revealing a deep fiery that not even Sonny had seen before now.
Secluded Mansion-- Somewhere in Italy
There, he stood staring at each shrine that covered his walls. Each shrine consisted of photos, old newspaper clippings and other miscellous belongings to twelve Port Charles denizens; Carly Bensen-Corinthos, Bobbie Spencer, Sonny Corinthos, Jason Morgan, Robin Scorpio, Brenda Barrett, Michael Corinthos, Zander Smith, Elizabeth Webber, and Lucky, Luke and Laura Spencer. He had already captured one of his victims; Carly Bensen. In his mind, it was the perfect set-up.
After Carly had ran out of Zander's room at Jake's, he captured her, but made it look as if she had gotten into a car and drove off the docks. For him, the plan was easy-- stealing a body from the morgue and placing it into Carly's car, then he would proceed with setting the car to drive off the docks afterwards. The difficult part, of course, was tampering with the DNA results to the test. Luckily, all went as planned, and everyone back in Port Charles believes that Carly is dead. Now, here he was at his private, secluded mansion in Venice. His plan had been well thought out and slick, that nobody, not even Sonny and Jason would expect that Carly was actually still alive.
Snickering, as he exited the room, he entered another room, revealing himself to his victim. Carly had been bound and gagged when he captured her.. for days, he kept her drugged to a max. With the plans he had for her, she would soon be his.. completely. She would have no memory of who she was, nor would she remember the five most important people in her life; Sonny, Jason, Zander, Bobbie and Michael. There was no escape, he kept her chained to a wooden chair, drugging her almost every hour on the hour...
"Soon, my dear.. you won't have any memory of your life before this. You won't remember Sonny, Jason, Zander, your mother.. or even, your precious little boy. You'll be mine, all mine." he snickered evily, running his fingers lightly across her cheek.
She hadn't remembered much of anything since Sonny's birthday. She was no longer wearing the clothes she was that night, instead, she was wearing a white-laced negligee, courtesy of this psycho's sick mind. Her hair was dirty, and a complete mess.. her eyes were watering, almost like she had been crying, yet it was only the drugs effects on her. She could hardly see his face, but she knew him.. she recognized him-- and when she should be begging for her life, she did nothing but spit in his face.
"You won't get away with this!" she hissed violently.
"Oh really?" he pondered, his words dripping with extreme sarcasm. "Oh, you'll see. When your beloved Sonny and Jason are killed.. your precious baby Michael will go back to his real father, AJ.. your mother, Bobbie will also, be killed--"
"You wouldn't dare.."
"Try me." he answered smugly. "But all of that will have to come later, but for now.. I have plans to bring to you a roomie."
"Who?" she whispered distantly, confused for who his next victim would be, and scared for what he would do to the both of them.
"You would die to know," he snickered, violently pushing himself against her, pressing his lips against her cheek, then slowly move upwards to her ear, he whispered seductively. "Miss Robin Scorpio."
Title: I Turn To You - ©May 2002
Couples: Jason/Robin, Jax/Brenda, Sonny/Carly, Sonny/Brenda, Zander/Carly, Zander/Robin, Jason/Elizabeth, Lucky/Courtney
Chapter Spoilers: Robin and Jason meet on the bridge, again.. Robin has a secret, will Sonny keep it from Jason?.. There's a psychopathic stalker lurking around Port Charles, who will be his next victim?
Song Credit(s): "Cry", by Mandy Moore
Sonny's Penthouse-- Sonny/Brenda/Robin
There, she stood before him just as alive and beautiful as she was the last time he had seen her. Was it a dream? Brenda had died that night, when her mother drove their car over a cliff.. right? Sonny distantly let his mind wander to all the times Jax had left in search of his beloved Brenda, yet each time.. he'd come up empty-handed. 'This wasn't a dream..' he told himself. 'Brenda IS alive.. and she's standing only a few feet away from me.'
"This is real?" he breathed in slowly, refusing to take his eyes off of her. "Your real?"
"I'm as real as I'm ever going to be." she answered with a small, yet hesitant smile. She knew that being there for Sonny was probably the best thing she could have ever done, but she didn't exactly feel comfortable with the way that he was looking at her. A part of her still loved him, would always love him.. but she knew, her heart didn't belong to him. Or so she thought..
Standing between her best friends, Robin didn't exactly feel like this was a place that she should be at that moment. Smiling, she approached Sonny, embracing him into her arms. "I think I'm going to go and re-acquaint myself with old friends.. give the two of you your space, okay?" she slowly pulled away from him, as she stood face to face with Brenda. "Call me later, okay?"
Robin exited Sonny's penthouse, and once again, the room was filled with a dead silence as the ex-lovers only stared each other down, neither knowing what to say next. Sonny moved to the sofa once again, taking the position that he had vaccated only a few minutes before, and Brenda soon followed, seating herself next to him.
"So," he began. "exactly how long were you going to make all of us think that you were dead before Robin talked you into coming home with her?"
Brenda groaned at Sonny's stubborness. She should've figured that something like this was going to happen, especially since Sonny has never been an easy man to talk to. "No matter what hand life deals to you, or the changes you go through with each tragic outcome.. one thing will ALWAYS reamin the same..." she silently let her tone trail off as she looked away from him.
"Yeah?" his tone was questioning. "What would that be?"
"You." she spoke softly, turning towards him again. "For those people that care about you, they feel like they need to build they're lives around something that they don't want, only so they don't disappoint you. You look at they're betrayl as a cold-hearted murder, when honestly, it's not that bad. Then, when you turn around and betray someone that YOU love, the story is completely different. You made a mistake, and you look back on it like you should die because you did something horrible that you regret." she finished with a sigh, brushing back a strand of her hair. "Sonny, everyone makes mistakes, and not everything revolves around you.. not everyone wants to hurt you. There are very few people that still care about you, and you won't let them back in.. give them a second chance, all because your afraid that they'll burn you again."
"You haven't been around, Brenda.. you don't know what's happened here in Port Charles since you 'died' in nineteen-ninety-eight."
"I know more than enough to know that you've been through alot since that time. I found Robin more than a year ago, and since then, she's told me everything that has happened in Port Charles. AJ finding out the truth about his son with Carly.. Jason finding you with Carly, leading all the way up to his shooting.. Carly's pregnancy and miscarriage with your child.. Chloe's death.. and now, Carly's death. I know it all, not only from Robin, but.." she suddenly cut herself off after realizing that her new occupation was something she wasn't sure she wanted Sonny to know.
"But what? Brenda.. what aren't you telling me?"
"For the last year and a half, I've been working with the WSB, and so has Robin."
"Your an agent?!"
"Yeah, we both are."
"I, hmmm.. I don't know what to say. This is definitely a suprise, to say the least. It's not that I have a problem, but.. woah, I can just see Jason now, when finds out about the dangerous life Robin has decided to lead.."
"Let's just hope it doesn't come to that, okay?"
The Bridge-- Jason/Robin
It was almost an hour after she had left Sonny penthouse, and this was the only place she had gone to. Maybe it was to clear her head, or even to think rationally of her decision to come, who really knew? In Port Charles, the bridge always been the one and only place Robin would go to for answers.. for comfort-- for peace of mind. Usually, as fate would have it, Jason would miracalusly meet her on the bridge.. they would talk, and usually it lead to a make-up or break-up. Yet, this time, it felt so different for Robin. This time she knew that even though she was back in Port Charles, the possibility of a reunion was slim. Both were too stubborn to admit they were wrong.. yet, when one had, it'd be Robin.. and these days, she was tired.. tired of admitting she was wrong, when it was clear that everything that had always gone wrong in her relationship with Jason wasn't her fault. In fact, it was nobody's fault, maybe they just weren't meant to be together, and fate was simply trying to tell them that.
Leaning against the railing, while she let her hair breeze with the wind, she looked tearfully down on the waters. 'It looks so beautiful at night.' she thought. The moon glistened down on the water, giving off a crystalized look that Robin took definite notice to. Slowly looking up and to the stars, she smiled slightly, wishing.. hoping, that someway, somehow she could find the answers to her complicated problems of life.
"Life is just, so.. difficult. I know, I should hate you for the hell that you put me through, but-- the irony of it all," she paused slightly, looking up tearfully at the sky again. "no matter what's happened. I still love you, and I guess.. I always will."
She continued to look out distantly at the water, still debating on whether her love for Jason was something that she wanted to try for. She let her mind wander back to when she was happy, truly happy. Long before Carly had entered the picture, she was actually happy with her life, with Jason. Of course, she hated the life he had decided to lead with the mob, but they were still happy. They loved each other, and to her, that's the only thing that ever mattered. Yet now, as much as she'd love to believe that he still loved her, she found that fact unbelieveable to a point.
Turning around quickly, as multiple tears fell rapidly down her cheeks, she pressed her back against the railing. She shouldn't do this, looking back on memories, it only brought more tears.. but she couldn't help herself. The bridge-- their bridge held so many precious memories, yet at the same time, they were just as heartbreaking. She leaned her neck back and stared peacefully up at the beautiful, shining stars.
"I, I shouldn't do this to myself.. I shouldn't allow myself to fall even more in love with him." she told herself. "Is that even possible? To fall even more in love? My god.. listen to me? I am so pathetic! He hates me.. ever since I told AJ the truth about Michael, he's hated me. That won't change." she convinced herself.
Her eyes grew a blood red with each tear that followed. She didn't want to cry, not for him.. but she couldn't control that. She couldn't control what she felt, even she knew that if she could.. she'd choose to fall out of love with him. Her cries grew louder, as she allowed herself to sink to the ground, hugging her knees tightly to her chest, her hair falling over her eyes. Suddenly, a few dark clouds moved in, covering Robin's stars, when hard rain had chosen to fall upon her.
As she sat there, crying peacefully.. she suddenly felt the urge to look up, and that was when she saw him. His bright, sapphire blues starring through her soul and straight to her heart.
"Jason..." she whispered, breathing heavily.
I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
...and ended so soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at the dark grey sky
...I was changed
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment that I saw you cry
It was late in September
...and I've seen you before (and you were)
You were always the cold one
...but I was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring up at the dark grey sky
...I was changed
In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment that I saw you cry
I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to be your everything.. alright
I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon...
In places no one would find...
"Robin," he breathed, passion building within his tone. "I could ask you the same, but it wouldn't be woth it. Meaning, that we're both here for the same, obvious reasons."
"What do you mean?" she questioned, confused.
Sighing, "No matter what's happened, we could never stay away from this place. It's a part of us, a part of who we are. It's what connects us." he answered. "Now, it's my turn to ask a question-- actually two. Why are you here, in Port Charles.. and, why.. are you sitting in the rain?"
Still looking up at him, she pulled herself up to her feet, not taking her eyes off him for even a second. Her dark hair was dripping wet, her clothes were soaked, and tricklets of rains feel over her face, which made it difficult to tell whether she was crying or not. Luckily, Jason couldn't tell, and Robin was thankful for that.
"I'm here because," she paused for a slight moment after realizing that it was too soon. Even though it had been four years since they last saw each other, Robin wasn't yet sure if she wanted to start something up with him again. "Sonny." she added, her tone a bit half sided, like she had something else on her mind.
"You heard about Carly?" he questioned knowingly.
"Yeah, I heard." she answered distantly. "You wouldn't how quickly news travels from Port Charles to Paris." she added jokingly with a giggle. After realizing that she was the only one laughing, and looking to Jason and seeing the pain in his eyes, she wished she could take her words back, but she knew she wouldn't. Especially since honesty was one of her most popular traits. "I'd like to say that I'm sorry for that last remark, but if I did, I'd be lying. Jason, you should know more than anyone that Carly was one of my least favorite people, but I--"
"Robin," he whispered, placing a finger lightly upon her lips. "You don't need to explain yourself to me. I know that you hated Carly-" he was shortly cut off as she tried to interrupt, but he beat her to it by simply moving both hands to each side of her beautiful face. "BUT I know you would never want her dead. As much as our relationship might be dead to the both of us, the one thing that I am more than sure of is the fact that you would NEVER wish death upon anyone, even if that person was your worst enemy."
Silent for moments that seemed to want to last forever, she finally spoke, yet still.. her tone was as distant as ever. "Jason, I never hated her.. Carly, I mean. I just, I didn't like her very much. I hated what she did to us.. I hated how she used Michael to come between us, and I hated how she used her insecurities to bring you closer to her, but I NEVER hated her." she explained, moving away from his grasp and crossing to the other end of the bridge, looking distantly out at the water as she spoke to him. "I'm not exactly sure why I'm really here, or what I should feel when it comes to this dark tragedy, but I definitely know I never hated Carly. She was misunderstood, and she made alot of mistakes.. which is something that I definitely won't judge her for."
He stood silent, as he usually did while listening to her. His expression remained emotionless, which hadn't changed over the years she had known him. Her back remained turned to him, yet he never took his eyes off of her. As familiar as it all seemed, he couldn't help but think how different she seemed to be.
Approaching her, but keeping his distance, he leaned over the bridge, looking down at the same waters that Robin's eyes were fixated on. "I'm sorry." was all he would allow himself to say.
"For what?" she questioned, her eyes moving away from the water and focusing themselves on him.
"For doubting you. For hurting us.. and for not believing in our love."
She was shocked to finally hear the words, something she had never expected to hear him say. Then, after she listened to his last words, it hurt her terribly to hear that he never believed in their love. "You never believed in our love?" she questioned hurtfully, great pain revealed behind her dark brown eyes.
"No. I mean, I did.. but then, everything just got so complicated, and I guess.. I just stopped believing, because I thought you had changed."
Sighing nonchalantly, she opened her mouth to speak. "As much as I'd like to tell you that I changed, I can't.. because then I'd be lying. It was you, you were the one to change. You fell in love with Carly and out of love with me, and that's when you just stopped believing in our love. And at this point, I don't think there's any greater pain then knowing that."
"Robin, I-"
She gently interrupted him. "No Jason, you can't excuse this. Look, I-- do you even know why I really came here?"
He looked at her expectantly, wondering what she would say next. "No, I don't."
"I came back here because I thought we still had a chance.. I, I thought that you still loved me, but I guess I just proved myself wrong, now didn't I?" she stated, her tone was filled with such coldness that not even Jason could recognize. "Yeah, it hurts, but I can deal with it. I'll move on, I always do. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to move back to Paris just to get away from you, the memories and the life we could've had together..." she slowly let her voice trail off as she looked away from him tearfully and back out at the water. "Nothing has changed with us, and that's why I KNOW we could never be together again."
"I'm with Elizabeth now." he stated lightly, and out of the blue.
"Yeah, I think I knew that all along." she stated vaguely. "Don't expect to be judged Jason, because it won't happen-- not from me. What we shared together was a love that couldn't last, we just weren't meant to be together. You moved on, first with Carly.. then with Elizabeth. And, I guess that I should too. I can't keep living in the past, because we both know that if I do, I'll always depend on you to be there for me, and I can't do that. Not anymore."
After Robin's speech, the night was filled with a dead silence that neither had been accustomed to since the last time they saw each other, since the last day they said goodbye.
"Will you promise me one thing?" he finally spoke, locking his eyes on her again.
"What?" she sighed heavily, wanting nothing more than to get the conversation over with.
"That you'll be happy." he stated simply. "I might not always be there for you, Robin, and I know that I've caused you more than enough pain to last you a lifetime, but.. I don't think I'll be truly happy until I know you are."
She smiled shortly, "I'll manage."
"That's not enough." he groaned with frustration, brushing his fingers roughly through his blonde locks.
"Don't worry about me, Jase, I'm not your problem anymore. I have everything that I ever wanted, almost." she stated, her last words were light, and distant, which bothered Jason. "I think, this is truly for the best.. because even if we were to be together again, it'd be unfair to you. Especially after we both know that my time is running shorter with each day that I live."
Angered with her tone, he grabbed both of her arms fiercely and turned her towards him, forcing her to stare into his deep blues. "Don't you even think, not even for a minute, that you were EVER a problem for me. You were a blessing Robin, and I cherish each day I have spent with you. I always have, and I probably always will.. for that you'll remain in my heart for an eternity. Yet, as far as doubting your time left, nothing angers me more than to hear you talk about dying! Do you even have the slightest idea how badly all of this hurts? Talking about the past and our love is one thing, I can deal with that.. just the thought of you dying, nothing is more heartbreaking than that."
Residing with her own anger, she remarked casually. "It's going to happen, Jason.. whether it be tomorrow, next week.. or even a year from now, I'm still going to die. I'm HIV POSITIVE, I have been for almost seven years now. I'm not going to live with a disease like that forever, you know. One way or another, your just going to have to accept that.. because it's going to happen, and you know it."
"Maybe, but I won't lose you, Robin. I won't let this kill you.. I'm not going to let this damn disease take you away from me."
"One thing, it's already killing me.. and another, it's already taken me away from you." she answered coldly.
Not knowing what else to say, he slowly released her from his grip and slowly backed away from her, looking up at the stars with a secret prayer. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
"Honestly?" she remarked distantly. "It's the only way I know how to live.. to deal with what I know will ultimately happen. And I guess, that when I do die, it's the only way I'll truly be happy, because I.. I'll be with Stone."
Looking at her, he groaned, "You're lying."
"And you would be an expert on that, now wouldn't you?"
Looking away from her, and down at his feet, he was defeated. "I.. I don't know what to say?"
"There isn't anything left to say." she remarked casually, approaching him slowly and embracing him surprisingly. For her, it felt so good to be in his arms again, but she knew that this would be the last time. Pulling away and looking up at him, she whispered. "Goodbye Jason." as she silently disappeared into the night.
He waited until she was gone before leaning against the railing and looking up at her stars. She had defeated him at his own game, except one fact remained.. this wasn't a game-- it never was. It was truly over between them, and he knew there was nothing he could do to change that. 'How did it come to this?' he found himself wondering. 'When did I lose her?' Looking away from the stars, he shifted and looked out at the water.
Distantly, he spoke, "I guess what they say is true. Once you find that truly special something, you won't realize what you have until.. it's actually, gone." a silent tear fell out of the corner of his eye and slipped down his cheek. "I still love her." he whispered solemnly.
Sonny's Penthouse-- Sonny/Jason
The next morning, both Robin and Brenda were already long gone away from Sonny's-- Brenda was staying at Jake's, and Robin at her uncle Mac's. And now, Sonny was desperately trying to make progress with his latest situation. Johnny knocked twice, as usual, then entered. On the phone with Benny again, he quickly turned towards Johnny as he heard him come in.
"What is it, Johnny?"
"You have a visitor, Mr. Corinthos." he answered. "You thought that seeing Ms. Barrett was a surprise, wait until you see this person."
"I don't like surprises, Johnny, you should know that better than anyone."
Jason enters after Johnny and stands with his hands crossed, staring directly into Sonny's eyes. "Sonny."
Silent for a moment, he went back to his conversation. "Benny, I'll have to call you back." he hung up the phone quietly, shifting his head slightly and staring emotionless at his visitor. "When did you get back?"
"Last night." he immediately answered. "I kind of ran into a problem when I got here."
Knowingly, Sonny answered. "Robin, huh?"
"Yeah, how did you know?" he questioned curiously. "Nevermind that, I well.. I saw her on the bridge, and we had quite an exchange of words. That had to be the," he paused for a moment, looking to be deep in thought. "at least tenth time we've said goodbye."
"She's leaving again?" Sonny's face fell. "Because of you, right?" his last words were sarcastic, yet honest.
Jason reluctantly shrugged off Sonny's crude words. "No, she's not leaving Port Charles again. I guess, this time her stay is permenent. But-- it was goodbye for us. She's here for you Sonny, to help you through Carly's death."
"You told her about Elizabeth?" he questioned knowingly. Moving behind the bar, he poured himself a drink and took a seat on his leather-cad sofa. "What exactly happened between the two of you?"
"Yes, I told her about Elizabeth, and somehow, I guess she already knew. Too much happened down on that bridge, and I really don't want to get into all of it right now, but one this is certainly for sure.." he silently let his voice trail off as he looked away from his friend.
"Yeah, and what would that be?"
"She seems to be getting on with her life just fine.. without me."
Appearing to look deep in thought, Sonny spoke distantly, "Brenda's back."
"I heard." Jason replied profoundly.
"From who?" he questioned defensively, insinuating that Jason knew the whole time and didn't tell him.
"Johnny told me." he quickly added with a soft chuckle. "At least now, you have something. I mean, Brenda doesn't make up for losing Carly, but at least your not completely and utterly alone."
"Brenda and Carly were two completely different people who had only two things in common; one, they had my love.. and two, they were both as stubborn as hell. Losing Brenda was like losing my soul, and I didn't get that back until I fell in love with Carly, and now that she's gone, and Brenda's back.. I feel, I-- I really don't know what to feel. Those feelings are still there, and I think there's a part of me that still loves her, that will always love her. But, I doubt that we would ever be able to go back to what we had. So much has changed..."
"I know exactly how you feel.." he murmured distantly.
"What was that?" Sonny's attention was diverted from his thoughts and onto Jason.
"What?" Jason quickly answered, snapping out of his own thoughts.
Not even thinking about it, "Did she tell you?" he asked, thinking back on his dicussion with Brenda, and how she had revealed to him that both her and Robin were WSB Agents.
"Did she tell me what?" Jason questioned, drawing a blank to his entire coversation with Sonny. Each question was answered with a question, and it only grew confusing.
"She didn't tell you..." his voice slightly trailed off after he realized the mistake he just made. Now not only did Jason not know about Robin working as an WSB Agent, but his suspicion to that clue would grow if Sonny chose not to tell him. "Just, forget I said anything.. okay."
"Sonny," Jason began nonchalantly. "would you mind letting me know what the hell is going on here?" his words were dripping with anger, and he stood facing Sonny, his arms crossed and his eyes revealing a deep fiery that not even Sonny had seen before now.
Secluded Mansion-- Somewhere in Italy
There, he stood staring at each shrine that covered his walls. Each shrine consisted of photos, old newspaper clippings and other miscellous belongings to twelve Port Charles denizens; Carly Bensen-Corinthos, Bobbie Spencer, Sonny Corinthos, Jason Morgan, Robin Scorpio, Brenda Barrett, Michael Corinthos, Zander Smith, Elizabeth Webber, and Lucky, Luke and Laura Spencer. He had already captured one of his victims; Carly Bensen. In his mind, it was the perfect set-up.
After Carly had ran out of Zander's room at Jake's, he captured her, but made it look as if she had gotten into a car and drove off the docks. For him, the plan was easy-- stealing a body from the morgue and placing it into Carly's car, then he would proceed with setting the car to drive off the docks afterwards. The difficult part, of course, was tampering with the DNA results to the test. Luckily, all went as planned, and everyone back in Port Charles believes that Carly is dead. Now, here he was at his private, secluded mansion in Venice. His plan had been well thought out and slick, that nobody, not even Sonny and Jason would expect that Carly was actually still alive.
Snickering, as he exited the room, he entered another room, revealing himself to his victim. Carly had been bound and gagged when he captured her.. for days, he kept her drugged to a max. With the plans he had for her, she would soon be his.. completely. She would have no memory of who she was, nor would she remember the five most important people in her life; Sonny, Jason, Zander, Bobbie and Michael. There was no escape, he kept her chained to a wooden chair, drugging her almost every hour on the hour...
"Soon, my dear.. you won't have any memory of your life before this. You won't remember Sonny, Jason, Zander, your mother.. or even, your precious little boy. You'll be mine, all mine." he snickered evily, running his fingers lightly across her cheek.
She hadn't remembered much of anything since Sonny's birthday. She was no longer wearing the clothes she was that night, instead, she was wearing a white-laced negligee, courtesy of this psycho's sick mind. Her hair was dirty, and a complete mess.. her eyes were watering, almost like she had been crying, yet it was only the drugs effects on her. She could hardly see his face, but she knew him.. she recognized him-- and when she should be begging for her life, she did nothing but spit in his face.
"You won't get away with this!" she hissed violently.
"Oh really?" he pondered, his words dripping with extreme sarcasm. "Oh, you'll see. When your beloved Sonny and Jason are killed.. your precious baby Michael will go back to his real father, AJ.. your mother, Bobbie will also, be killed--"
"You wouldn't dare.."
"Try me." he answered smugly. "But all of that will have to come later, but for now.. I have plans to bring to you a roomie."
"Who?" she whispered distantly, confused for who his next victim would be, and scared for what he would do to the both of them.
"You would die to know," he snickered, violently pushing himself against her, pressing his lips against her cheek, then slowly move upwards to her ear, he whispered seductively. "Miss Robin Scorpio."