[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer
[A/N] I want to thank all the wonderful people who left me such nice and encouraging comments on chapter one. You are amazing and inspired me to add some more to this little story here. Let's see how things turn out. Shall we?
**Part 2**
Edward
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage
(Lucius Annaeus Seneca)
It is still too soon to do it, I tell myself over and over in my head while my sweaty fingertips touch the little box in the left pocket of my leather jacket.
My left hand cups the coffee in front of me and when I take the first careful sip from the hot liquid, I spill a bit of it over the light blue collar of my shirt.
"Crap, now I have to change again and we're already late. Riley, are you finished with your granola?"
"I don't like it. There are yucky raisins in it and they taste like crap." My son stats, his little face turning into a frown. When he looks like this he reminds me of his mother and for obvious reasons that's not something I like too much. If I wasn't the way I am, Bella and I would still be married and the little one would have a proper family life, like I wanted him to. I feel guilty for taking that away from Riley. I'll always feel guilty for that.
"Daddy?"
"Eat up now, so that we can leave." I tell him, heading for my room where I throw the shirt I'm wearing carelessly on the ground before grabbing another one from my closet.
My cell starts vibrating on my nightstand and I shove it into the back pocket of my jeans before, picking up my car keys. A last glimpse at the watch above the kitchen table makes me cringe slightly. I can't be late again for work, not for the third time this month.
I throw the rest of Riley's breakfast into the trash underneath the sink and wipe a bit of spilled milk from his chin.
"I'm sorry we have to hurry so much in the morning but you know that I have to bring you to Vicky before I got to work."
He jumps from his chair and I manage to wrap my arms around his middle before he manages to head for his room. The little one somehow figured out how to lock himself in and that's the reason for the other two times I didn't manage it to show up on time at work.
"I don't want to go to that witch again. I hate her! I hate you for making me!" His voice turns into a hysterically high scream and when I lift him up to carry him on my hip, he starts kicking his boots against my thigh. Damn it, this is going to bruise. Why does this child have to be so thick-headed? Must be Bella's fault, I guess. Or it is probably is mine, because I'm not strict enough to him but there is no way I'm going to bend him over my knee and spank him, like my own father used to do it when I was a kid.
During the entire ride to his new day nanny, he keeps yelling and sobbing but when we are in front of the yellow painted porch, it has finally subsided. Not because I have managed to calm him down but because his throat is sore and he's exhausted.
I unbuckle his seatbelt and kneel down in front of him, placing my hand on his quivering shoulder.
"Can you try to be a big boy for Daddy today?"
He nods his head, wiping his snotty nose on the sleeve of his shirt before wrapping his arms around me.
"Can't I come with you? I promise to be quiet. You won't even notice that I'm there. Please, Daddy…,"
In that moment the door of the house is pulled open and Vicky appears in its frame, carrying a baby on her left shoulder. It has the same reddish hair color then its mother and the toddler who has wrapped his arms around her left leg.
"Hello Edward. Good Morning, Riley. How's it going?"
He doesn't answer her but stars down at his boots while squeezing my hand with all the strength he has.
"I'll pick you up at six. Be a good boy. Will you?"
"Hmm,"
"Don't worry about him, Edward. We're going to have so much fun here today. Won't we, Riley?"
I remain standing in front of the house, when the red-head disappears inside the house again, pulling my three-year old with her.
Why does it always feel like I'm a crappy father, when I bring him to someone else to look after him while I'm at work?
My cell vibrates again and I flip it open on the way back to my car.
"Hi, Jazz. Can I call you back later?"
"You sound stressed. What's wrong?"
I start the engine of the Volvo and the growl-like sound it makes reminds me once again, that I need to get it inside a garage as soon as my new paycheck has balanced out the fat minus on my bank account.
"Riley is driving me crazy. He's so sullen at the moment because he can't stand his new day nanny."
"Oh the witch, wasn't it?"
"Don't feed this nonsense. It was difficult enough to find someone new to look after him after the incident at Emily's house."
"Accidents happen all the time. Look, I wanted to ask you if you still know who I am. We haven't seen each other at all since my nightshifts started last Sunday."
"Let me think a moment. You have dark hair that's pulled together in a ponytail and your bulked-up arms are covered in ink."
He chuckles into the receiver before slurping on something; probably a coffee to go the little midget has brought to his office. That woman can't stand me for fucks sake, no matter how hard I have tried during the last two month to make her like me. To Alice, I will always be the asshole who broke Jasper's heart. Just for the record, she's right about that. I fucked up badly but he has somehow, in a way that I sure as hell not deserve it decided to give me a second chance.
There is no way I'm going to ruin that again. My fingers touch the little box in my jacket again. Yes, it is still too early to ask him but I can wait. Some things are worth to wait for.
"Do you want to come to my place tonight?"
"I want to but I can't. I have no one to look after Riley."
Every time I tell him something like that, I wait for him to get pissed or annoyed. It is difficult to balance a relationship while taking care of a little kid's needs. Most men sure as hell wouldn't want to deal with the consequences of their partner's heterosexual past. The fact that Jasper is so willing to accept Riley into his life proves to me how much he loves me. He loves me way more than I probably deserve to be loved.
"Edward, are you still there?"
"Yes, sure, I was just in thoughts.
"I said, bring him with you. I'll order Pizza and he's going to crash in front of the TV within half an hour. Then I have you to myself for the rest of the night."
I suppress a groan, feeling the blood rush to my groins. It has been too long since I felt the heat of his mouth around my cock.
The traitorous thing hardens at the thought and I take several deep breaths, knowing that I have zero time to take care of this myself before starting another boring day at work.
"Do you want to meet me during your lunch break? I could pick you up before heading to the hospital to finish some paperwork."
I tell him how much I like the idea and in the moment I hang up, I realize this means the rest of the people in my office will see him. Is he going to kiss me in front of them? Will be expect me to do that?
There is a very unpleasant familiar feeling of fear deep inside my stomach and I try to ignore it as much as I can.
Parking the Volvo in my space, I grab my stuff and rush for the elevators, managing it to run into my boss.
"Good Morning, Mr. Volturi." I greet him as friendly as possible. The man is creepy and has a tendency to hiss like a snake whenever he doesn't get his will fast enough. I hate working here but without a College degree, it is not like I can be too choosy about jobs.
"Mr. Masen, is there something wrong with your watch? You're supposed to start at nine-sharply. Our clients hate when you let them wait."
"Yes, Mr. Volturi. It's not going to happen again. I'm sorry."
"That's what you said last time, you were late. I'm not a fan of giving people second chances over and over again, so consider yourself warned."
I nod my head and wonder how much I'd like it to throw this shithead out of the window in in his office at the tenth floor. It's not that anyone is going to miss him too much, is there?
Entering my office, I throw my jacket over my chair before turning on the computer screen in front of me.
There are a dozen of unread new emails in my inbox and while deciding which of them to answer first, I notice one that has zero to do with my work.
I hate it when my ex-wife writes to my work email dress and she knows it.
To: EdwardAMasen ( ) Volturi-EnterpricesBoston ( . ) com
From: IsabellaBlack ( ) gmail ( . ) com
Subject: Riley
Hi Edward,
I'll be in Boston for the next weekend and would like to see Riley. There is also some stuff that I need to, that we need to discuss.
Give the little one a kiss from me and let me know when I can pick him up on Saturday morning.
Bella
PS: Why did you hire a new day nanny again? What happened to the muffin lady?
I sigh deeply and for a moment I feel tempted to tell her to go fuck herself. She tends to show up like every three months and showers our son with presents and shit in order to make up for the fact that she's a lousy mother who put the dick who fucks her above her own child. Black is a moron who thinks you can treat kids like dogs that you can command around twenty-four-seven.
The rest of the morning passes quickly and when I hear someone clear his throat next to me, I drop the file I'm reading down to the ground.
"Did I startle you?" Jasper asks me, his full mouth curling into a left-sided grin. I want to kiss the dimple in his cheek so badly but Felix and Caius the other guys in the office are still here and I don't want them to see me doing it. If they find out I'm gay that wouldn't make my job here easier, I assume.
I shake my head and stand up from my chair, grabbing my wallet and the leather jacket. He hugs me and I hate myself for stiffening in his arms. If I want this thing between the two of us to work, I can't be like that. Well, technically, I am not like that. I've learned to be open about my sexual preferences but here at work, it is still…difficult.
Inside the elevator I fist my hands into his curly hair, pressing my mouth to his to force it into a greedy kiss. The tip of his tongue touches against mine and I feel his semi-hard cock against my left thigh. I can't wait any longer. I need to have him. I need to have him now.
With my left hand I press the stop button, hearing the shrill beeping of the alarm in my ears when I pull back from the kiss.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too, so very much. Let me show you."
Going down on my knees in front of him, I pull down the zipper of his jeans to free his cock.
"You are crazy, Masen."
"Your fault, Whitlock, all your fault," I whisper, running my tongue over the moist glistening head of his cock while wrapping my hand around its base. He moans when I suck him inside my mouth, slowly inch by inch until I feel him hit the back of my throat. Then I pull back again, swirling my tongue all around his sensitive tip for a bit. My hand moves up and down his entire length and I enjoy how it twitches against the grip of my fingertips.
Sucking him inside my mouth again, I hollow out my cheeks to increase his pleasure even more.
"Fuck…oh…fuck," he calls out and a heartbeat later the first spurt of salty come fills my mouth, followed by two others. I swallow around him, releasing his softening cock with a last kiss, before standing up from the ground again.
"Best lunch break in a long time." I whisper, planting a last kiss on his mouth before I hit the stop button again to make the elevator move again. I'm hard like a rock but I don't want to risk someone from security showing up here in order to rescue us from our trap.
Jaspers hand moves over the bulge in my pants but I guide it to my lips to blow a kiss over his fingers.
"Later."
"If you wish so, Darlin',"
What I wish right now is to bend you over and bury my cock inside your tight ass but unfortunately these things have to wait.
When the door of the elevator opens, Aro stands in front of me, his chalk-pale face turned into an emotionless mask.
"Hello Mr. Volturi."
"Mr. Masen,"
I realize that Jasper has his arm around my waist but I don't dare to step away from him. I don't want to. I'm too glad to have him back.
"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend here?"
Jasper smirks and holds out his hand.
"I'm Doctor Jasper Whitlock. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir. Edward speaks always so highly of you."
I do what?
Aro grins and the flashing of his yellowish teeth reminds me once again of a snake ready to attack its prey.
When we sit down inside the small coffee shop around the corner, I order two sandwiches and beer for us that we swallow down within minutes.
"Your boss seems a bit creepy."
Just a bit?
"Yeah probably,"
"Does he know?"
"Does he know that he's creepy?"
"No, that's not what I meant." he stats, taking the last sip from his bottle.
"You haven't told him you are gay."
I sigh deeply, touching the tattoo on my forearm with my fingertips.
"My private life is none of his business."
"Kay,"
"You seem disappointed now. Do you tell everyone in the hospital that you are dating guys?"
"Alice is pretty bubbly and not that good at keeping other people's privacy."
"What a surprise."
"You can't stand her but she's the most warm-hearted, kindest person ever. Without her I would probably be—"
He stops abruptly and waves at the waitress to our table to pay the bill. Back outside again, he wraps his hands around my neck to pull me into a slow kiss.
"I know how difficult everything is for you. Don't you think, I wouldn't know."
"I'm sorry. I should have told Aro you are my boyfriend."
"No, you shouldn't. You don't have to come out at work, if you're not ready for that. Stop worrying so much all the time. Everything is going to be alright."
XXXXX
I enter the Emergency Room of the hospital, praying that the nurse who is in charge tonight won't be the little midget. Riley sobs against my shoulder and I'm sure that the blood that keeps trickling down his left palm will ruin the fabric of my suit irrevocably.
"What do we have here?"
Crap, of course, she has to be here tonight. That woman hates me with a sickish passion.
"Alice! Oh Alice, my hand hurts. It's bleeding."
"Let me take a look. This looks bad. Sit down here and I get something to clean the wound."
"Not that burning stuff again, not the burning stuff again." He pleads, hiding his head against my shoulder.
She returns a moment later and when she starts cleaning the cut in his palm, I can hear him inhale sharply between his teeth. I like that he's trying to be brave. My tough little man…
"How did that happen?"
"His day nanny let him cut out some pictures from a magazine. Riley is a bit clumsy when it comes to his hand-eye- coordination. That's something he inherited from his mother."
"I asked the boy, not you, asshole but it suits you, that you blame someone else for his mistakes."
"I didn't mean it like that."
"Yeah, whatever."
"Alice, are you and Daddy mad at each other?"
"No, sweetie, everything is fine. Look, Dr. Brannon here will make a brace for your hand while we finish the paper stuff."
"Kay,"
I follow her, noticing that she has cut her hair to arrange it into a mess of spikey black curls. She could actually be a pretty thing if it wasn't for her bitchy personality.
"You have to fill this here…oh and that one too."
She hands me the papers and I start scrawling down the necessary information.
"I know you hate me. I just would like to know why. Jasper forgave me."
"Yes, he did because he loves you, asshole. I on the other hand, can see you with a healthy distance."
"So, can you?"
"You don't know how he was like when I first met him. It was as if he was mentally dead. He hadn't been sober in weeks."
"He told me that he had some sort of drinking problem. Look, I know that I hurt him. I fucked up. My decision to get married was a stupid one. I was fucking scared to admit I was gay. You don't know how it is like to be scared."
Her eyes narrow for a moment before she grabs the first sheet of paper from my hands to place it in a folder on the table.
"You know nothing about me, asshole. But worse than that is that you know nothing about Jasper. How it broke him when you put your own fears above him. He loves you so much and I hate you for hurting him like that."
"I'm sorry."
"That doesn't make undone what you did. You are weak. You hurt him before, you could do it again."
"I won't."
"Good for you, because I don't think he'd survive that a second time."
"I won't hurt him again. You're right that I know nothing about you but you were there for him when I wasn't. That for I'll always be grateful to you."
"Didn't do that for your benefit, asshole."
"I have a name. How about starting to use it for politeness sake?"
"Edward,"
"Wow, that's a start. You are protective of Jasper."
"I'm always protective of people I love."
"So am I." I mumble, handing her the second paper after scrawling down my signature in the left corner.
She places it above the first one and reads through the lines, stopping suddenly.
"You checked left-handed. Was that a mistake?"
"No, it wasn't. Riley is left-handed. Why are you asking?"
"He cut himself into his left palm. It would have been quite difficult to do that if he was holding the scissor in that hand."
"Maybe he switched?"
"Yeah, maybe, little kids do that all the time. Make sure to keep the wound dry. Jasper can give you some painkillers should the little one need them."
On the ride to Jasper's place, Riley is silent and I wonder if I should better call off the date to bring him home. He seems exhausted and sad somehow.
"Is your hand still hurting?"
"A bit,"
"I'm sorry about that."
"Hmm,"
"Your mom is coming here this weekend to visit you."
He turns around, and sucks his thumb between his teeth.
"Is Jake coming here too?"
"I don't know but he'll probably stay home to look after the dogs."
"I wished he'd bring them with him. I like dogs. Daddy, can't we buy a puppy?"
I shake my head, parking the car in front of Jasper's apartment. My fingers fist into the mess of my hair and I pinch the bridge of my nose to fight of a headache that is about to build.
"Daddy, please. I promise to take care of it."
"We don't have money for a dog. Do you know how much such a thing eats?"
"Mom would let me. I'll ask her to buy me one."
"Then, she can take it with her to Vancouver. We've talked about the pet thing before. I said no and that was my last word."
"You are mean."
"And you are a little brat at the moment."
Jasper opens the door and when his eyes meet mine, I can feel my insides melt. He grants me a warm-hearted smile and wraps his arms around me to move his full mouth lightly over my upper lip. I know that Riley can see us and I don't want to irritate him even more than he already is by now. He knows that Jasper and I are close. I'm not sure if he knows how close. Before Jazz, I never let my son see me with another man.
"The two of you should come inside before it starts raining." He stats cheerfully, running his fingers over Riley's head. Then he notices the brace on the boys hand and takes it carefully in his.
"Another accident?"
"He hurt his hand with a scissor." I explain, following them inside the apartment. Riley sits down on the couch and starts flipping through the TV channels, stopping at some movie about a Golden Retriever.
Jasper pours him a glass of apple juice and pops down next to him.
"You like dogs, don't you?"
"Yep, but my Daddy says he won't buy me one."
"He's right about that. Who would take care of it while he's at work?"
"I could stay home with it."
Jasper chuckles and I place my hands around his hips when he bends down to grab some Soda bottles from the fridge.
"Do you want a beer?"
"Coke is fine."
I run my fingers over his sides, circling them underneath his shirt. When he turns around, I crash my lips to his again. My tongue swirls around his and I can feel him suckle my lower lip between his teeth. God, I want him so much.
"Fag!"
Jasper stiffens and I pull back from the kiss, trying to get my breathing and the blushing in my face under control again.
"Fag!"
I wonder where a three-year-old learns words like that at all. It's not something I want to explain to him. He's too young to understand.
"Who told you that word?"
"Someone said that on TV when two guys kissed. You and Jasper kiss each other all the time."
Jasper kneels down next to him on the ground while I sit down on the kitchen floor, placing my arm around my blond lover's shoulder.
"It's an ugly word and we don't want you to use it." I tell him, forcing my voice to sound calm.
"Why do you kiss each other?"
"Because it's nice and we like one another a great deal." Jasper mumbles, running his fingers through my hair. "Now, who wants to order some Pizza?"
Riley snores on the couch an hour later and I wrap a blanket carefully around him before heading for the bathroom. The steam from the shower has filled the small room with the musky scent of arousal and lemon-scented body wash.
I step out of my clothes and when I enter the shower, Jasper presses me against the steamed glass wall. Caressing my backside with his fingertips, he sucks the skin on my neck between his lips.
"You are going to leave a mark."
"Yes,"
His hand reaches around me and I moan when his fist closes around the head of my cock. He starts pumping my length while his tongue grazes the shell of my ear. His own cock rubs against the crack of my ass and the sensation makes my balls throb from the desperate need of release.
Then I feel him kissing his way down my spine, until he eventually kneels down behind me, pulling the cheeks of my backside apart.
His tongue circles around my sensitive hole and I wonder how much he'd like it to take me here. Take me hard against the shower wall.
I bet his ex-boyfriend let Jasper top him all the time. Maybe he prefers it like that now. Should I let him—no, we can't. Not without a condom and some preparations. Jasper is large. It will probably hurt like crap when he fucks me.
"Relax…just relax for me, Darlin'. Touch yourself for me. Rub your beautiful cock."
He continues his attention on the puckered rosette, teasing it tenderly by using just the tip of his tongue. My fingers move up and down my base, faster and faster. I'm close, so fucking close. In the moment he presses his tongue into the tensed ring of muscles, I tumble over the edge. My come spurts against the glass walls in front of me and I almost lose it another time, when Jasper turns me around and starts licking me clean.
"I love you. God, I fucking love you so much." I moan, crashing my lips to his again. We step outside the shower and I watch fascinated how he rubs some baby oil over the rippled muscles of his abdomen.
"Do you remember how I told you to touch yourself when you were a boy?"
"I do."
"Do you know how much I wanted to crash that damn bathroom door back then to watch you jacking off?"
He smirks, letting some more of the oil trickle on his flat palm.
"You can watch now."
With that he starts palming his hard cock between his oil covered fingers. The view is beyond breathtaking and I can't manage to keep my eyes from his beautiful cock. The head is a purplish color now and I watch fascinated how his fingers move up and down his thick shaft.
"Touch your balls with your other hand. Yes…just like that. Massage them. Tug a bit on the skin there…yes…oh fuck. You look so beautiful touching yourself. I can't wait to see you come. Come for me, baby. Come hard."
A loud groans leaves his mouth a split second before several spurts of thick semen cover his stomach. I kiss his mouth again before grabbing a towel to rinse it under the faucet.
"That was the hottest thing I've seen. I wished I'd filmed it."
"I didn't know you were into porn. Seth liked watching stuff like that a lot but it doesn't do that much for me."
It takes me a second too long to get my facial expression under control again and he notices the discomfort in my eyes. I don't like it when he mentions that man. I don't like that they are still friends.
"You're not jealous again, are you?"
"No, I'm not." I whisper before kneeling down to pick up my clothes. When we are inside his bedroom, he hugs me from behind, cuddling his warm body against mine.
"You are not a very good liar, Masen."
"Depends on to whom I'm trying to lie at, with you it is more difficult than with others."
Wrapping a blanket over us, he rubs his nose up and down the hollow of my throat.
"You have to trust me when I tell you; I want you and no one else. Seth is just a friend, a very good one."
I close my eyes and play with the honey-blonde curls of his hair. It feels so amazingly soft against my fingertips.
"He is a friend whom you fucked."
"Fucked as in past tense,"
"I bet he would like to warm up the good old times. The way he keeps looking at you, as if he's just waiting for me to fuck up, so that he can be there to comfort you."
Jasper shifts a bit in my arms, wrapping his hands tightly around my shoulder.
"He's a nice guy, fun and flirty but he's just not, he's not you and you're the one I want to be with."
I kiss his sternum, tasting the saltiness of his skin on the tip of my tongue.
"It would be easier for you to be with him. He doesn't have a child who is interrupting your make-out sessions."
"Riley is ok. I like him. He's a part of you."
"His mother is having him for the weekend so that means we can have some more time to ourselves."
"Are you going to tell her that you have a boyfriend?"
"What for? It would only agitate her again. She knows about me being gay. There is no need to put salt on the wound again."
"If you think so,"
"I don't need to hurt Bella any more than I already have."
"You care about her."
"Of course I do care. She's the mother of my child. That will always connect the two of us. I wished things between us weren't that tensed."
Tensed is bit of an understatement when it comes to the relationship between me and Bella. Our marriage was a farce. I liked her a great deal and the fact that she was actually one of the girls that don't want to have sex with you before their wedding night made her even more appealing in a sick kind of way. She was so in love with me and wanted so much for us to make things work. But trying to seduce me with some expensive silk lingerie wasn't helping any bit with the fact that I don't like women. I mean, I do like women. Most of them are way easier to talk to then guys. I just don't want to fuck them.
"There's my baby!" she calls out as soon as she steps outside her rental car. She picks the little one up to swirl him around while she starts showering his face with wet kisses. Riley hates it when someone kisses him but of course she has no clue about what he likes or not.
I take a look at her. She's too thin. Her shoulders are bony and the dress she's wearing hangs a bit too loosely around her hips.
"Mommy, let me down."
She sniffs, wiping some tears from her eyes that have dark circles underneath them despite the entire makeup she has used in an attempt to cover it up.
"I missed you so much."
"I missed you too, Mommy. Did you bring me a present?"
Pulling a silver wrapped box out of a bag, she hands it to him with a smile.
"I hope you like it. Jake helped me to pick it up. He wants me to say hi to you."
While the little one is busy, trying to unwrap his present, she finally turns her attention to me.
"Hi Edward,"
"Hello Bella. Did you lose some weight?"
"A bit maybe." She whispers, biting her fingernails nervously.
"It looks more than a bit. Is everything ok with you?"
"I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Life has been a bit stressful in the last time."
We sit down and order some tea and muffins. She starts picking hers into small pieces, only shoving a few of them between her lips.
Riley climbs on her lap, pressing the plastic stereoscope she bought him against her chest.
"That's not a real one."
"How do you know that?" she asks him, circling her thin fingers through his hair. He grabs the tortured muffin from her plate and starts eating it, smearing a bit of the chocolate frosting around his mouth.
"Oh sweetie, you're getting yourself dirty. Let Mommy feed you."
"No! I'm not a baby anymore!"
"Riley, stop yelling. Bella, let him eat by himself. He can handle that pretty fine."
She sniffs and a moment later she starts sobbing, pressing the puzzled little one against her shoulder.
"Mommy, are you sad now?"
"My baby is no baby anymore."
"Bella, let him go now and try to calm down. You are irritating him."
After a few minutes she finally stops crying. Then she places another kiss on his forehead, making him shrug back from the unwanted caress. She excuses herself to the bathroom and I kneel down in front of Riley, wiping the smeared chocolate from his face.
"You're okay?"
"Yes, Daddy, can we go home now?"
"Your mother just came here. Don't you want to spend some time with her?"
"She's always kissing me, like I was a baby. I don't like it."
I nod my head, picking up the plastic stethoscope from the ground again.
"You need to tell your Mom, thanks for bringing you a present."
"It's not a real one. Maybe she didn't know it's not real."
"How do you know?"
"If you put Jasper's on someone's chest you can hear the heartbeat through the earphones."
"Who is Jasper?" Bella asks him curiously, sitting down on her chair again. She grabs her tea with trembling hands and I start to worry that probably she's seriously sick. What the hell is wrong with her?
"He's Daddy's friend."
I pray that he stops his explanation there but of course I'm not that lucky.
"They kiss each other because they like to."
Bella drops the cup in her hand, spilling the rest of the tea over the table and her dress.
"Crap."
I hand her a napkin and she tries to clean her dress while another wave of tears starts filling her brown eyes.
"Riley, why don't you go and play a bit with your new toys, while I'm talking to your mother?"
When he is far enough away to not hear me anymore, I lean over and whisper into Bella's ear.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to find out like that."
"It's ok. I know this was going to happen eventually. I'm just a little bit surprised that you let our son know. Don't you think he's too young to be confronted with things like that?"
"Do you expect me to lie to him? He's fine with me being with Jasper. Maybe he doesn't understand it completely right now. But one day, he will. And when that day comes, I don't want him to think his father was a fucking coward."
"He won't. Riley loves you. He seems happy."
"You seem not. What is wrong with you? Are you sick?"
"I was."
She hesitates for a while, taking several deep breaths before she continues in a hoarse whisper.
"Jake and I, we were going to have a baby, but I, I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago."
"Oh God, I'm so sorry about that."
"It's ok. I don't like talking about it too much. Jake is pretty disappointed in me, I think. At least he makes me feel like that."
Her husband is a moron and I'd like to kick him hard where it really hurts. She seems so lifeless and he's probably the one making her feel this way.
"You could try again."
"Please, Edward, I don't want to talk about it now. It's very painful."
"Yes, I can imagine that."
"So, this Jasper is your, your boyfriend."
I nod my head and a smile flashes over my face.
"He works as a doctor."
"Oh I see, that's how Riley knows it's not a real stethoscope. I suck at choosing presents for him. Last time we talked on the phone he said he wants a puppy but I assumed you wouldn't be too fond of that."
"You're right about that."
"Is your boyfriend okay with you having a child?"
He loves me, I think, closing my fist around the little box inside my jacket. Jasper loves me way more than I probably deserve it. The fact that he's so willing to accept Riley into his life makes me love him even more in return. I want to be with him and no one else for the rest of my life. It's still too early to ask him, I know but still—
"Edward?"
"Yes, Bella?"
"How's your boyfriend getting along with Riley?"
"It's ok. Jasper is good with kids."
"Jasper, Jasper…why does that name sound so familiar to me?" she mutters, suddenly jumping from her chair so abruptly that it falls down behind her.
"Wait a moment. Wasn't that the name of your neighbor's son back home in Seattle, the blonde dude that was the best man at our wedding?"
"Yes, that's him."
"You fucking bastard. You cheated on me from the beginning. You, you, God damn it! There are no words that are evil enough for you, Masen. I hate you!"
"Bella, calm down please."
"Don't you dare to tell me what to do! Whatever you say means shit to me. Riley! Come here, and tell your father goodbye. We're leaving."
"Bella, I want you to calm down first before you put the child in your car. Take a deep breathe. Jasper and I have not spoken to each other one word since I married you. We just met again a while ago, when Riley had been brought to the hospital he works at."
"My baby was in the hospital and you told me nothing about it?"
"It wasn't something serious, just a stitching job. I didn't want you to freak."
"My poor baby," she mutters, picking Riley up again to carry him on her side.
"I don't like when someone carries me like a stupid baby. Let me down again, Mommy."
She sighs, placing him on the ground again.
"If you want to, I let you hold my hand." He offers generously.
"I'd like that a great deal. Do you want to have some ice-cream before we go back to Mommy's hotel?"
"Yes, please!"
"Fine, honey, we'll do that. Tell your father goodbye now. He's going to pick you up again on Sunday."
He squeezes my hand and when the two of them walk out of the café, I feel terribly lonely there on my own. I pull my cell out of my pocket and dial his number.
"Dr. Whitlock."
I swear to God, every time he refers to himself as Dr. Whitlock I want to jizz my pants. He's so effing hot in those lab coats. One day, I want to fuck him when he wearing that, when he's only wearing that.
"Hey, it's me."
"Oh hey, how did the meeting with your ex-wife go?"
"It was okay. Riley kind of spilled the news to her about you and me being together."
"I like your son more and more the longer I know him."
I chuckle, gulping down the rest of my cold tea before heading outside in the rain where I fumble for my car keys.
"What do you want to do tonight? It has been forever since I had a free night. We could go to a club or something."
"Sounds like a plan. I can pick you up later at your place. Just have to finish this shift here."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
I clear my throat and hesitate for a long awkward moment before I continue, knowing that I'll never be brave enough to ask him the following question in person.
"Look, I wanted to ask you something."
"Kay,"
"It's about our sex-life."
"Oh that sounds like it's going to get interesting. Let me just close the door to my office and then I'm all yours."
When he returns to the phone again, his voice has a slight husky tone that sends shivers of lust down my spine. Fuck, the way my body reacts to him is making my head spin. No one has ever made me feel that way, no one but him. I want to give him everything he needs and if that means letting him top me, I'll let him do it. God, I'd do anything to be with him. He's my life.
"Jazz, are you happy with our sex-life?" I start finally, biting my lip so tightly that I taste blood on my tongue.
"Very much, I actually like the videotape idea you had after the little show in the bathroom. Alice has a camera that I could borrow."
"You are not going to tell her what we want to use it for?"
"I tell her a lot but not everything."
"Good,"
"Why are you asking me if I like our sex-life? That's awkward somehow. You should know that I enjoy being with you."