November 19, 2004
I just came back from the Pearl station again, except this time it was more urgent. Ben went for a walk yesterday, and he never came back. I looked at the feed of the Swan station, and it turns out he was taken by the crash survivors! Everyone here at the Barracks is in shock, and looking to Bea for leadership. I'm just glad it's not me. I'm not a leader... Never was, never will be, and for someone to ask for my advice right now might just tip me over the edge.
I came up with a plan to deal with Ben, and although it seems kind of cruel now that he's been taken, I still want to try. If I can really "break" Shephard (I asked Ben yesterday right before he left... He says to be "genuine, kind and somewhat flirtatious to gain his trust, and then other methods will be used to further break him down emotionally." Whatever that means.), then maybe I can get him to trust me enough to do me a favour. A rather large one. I'm going to film myself holding up cue cards telling him to "accidentally" kill Ben during surgery, and then show him the video under the cover of another one. If I move it close enough to the glass in the Hydra where Ben wants him kept, nobody should be able to see the television on the camera. It's really risky, and I'd be executed if anyone found out, but I can't stand Ben any longer. I need to get home. To see Rachel and to meet Julian. To get my normal life back!
Apart from that, there is one flaw, though. According to his file, Shephard's one of those guys that has a need to be a hero, that can't let anything go. He would never let a patient just die. The other thing his file says though, is that he's very dedicated to the ones he loves or cares about, and he seems to do anything for them. I'm not expecting him to fall in love with me, I don't want him to. I've had enough relationship drama in the past 3 years to last me a lifetime, and I went through a divorce before that. Still, if he really trusts me, or if I remind him enough of his ex-wife (I look like her according to Ben), maybe he'd care enough to do something for me.
It's funny, but when reading his file, I couldn't stop thinking that he's exactly the type of guy I'd fall for normally. Nice one, Juliet.