2. Missing mistress

He decides to say something on the third day in a row that Mellie chooses to wear an all black ensemble. It's unlike her to devoid color from her wardrobe, especially since taking on the role of First Lady. "Mel, what's with all the black?" He says it with a smile and expects her to say something about changing fashions in Vogue, although she rarely reads the magazine now, in law school she had a subscription.

As she begins to put in her peal earrings, he notices there is no trace of a smile on her face. "I'm going to Dover."

Mellie doesn't say anything else and it take Fitz all of three seconds to decipher why she is wearing black. His wife is going to Dover Air Force Base to meet fallen soldiers, fallen soldiers that he sent to war.

He sucks in a breath and looks around their bedroom, he's forced himself to keep his mind off the innocent men and women fighting and dying for a lie he's told the American people. Yes, involvement in West Angola has the potential to benefit the civilians living there, however the current state of war has been devastating for both countries involved.

They sit in silence as Mellie finishes getting ready, slipping on a pair of solid black pumps and looking herself over in the mirror. He must look distraught, because she turns around and comes to sit next to him on the bed. "I told you to go to war."

While he and Mellie fight often and keep more secrets than any married couple should, there are times when Mellie can sense his thoughts exactly. As he is sitting there feeling guilty, her comment is there to assure him and make him feel better, she's attempting to shoulder the blame for him. He should appreciate her spousal support, however the comment makes him angry. "It was my decision." His voice is hard because he knows that is the honest truth. Sure Mellie had told him going to war for Olivia was what he needed to do, but Fitz knows that he eventually would have done it anyways, he got a taste a world without Olivia Pope in it a few months ago and he knows he would do anything to bring her back. "I need her to come back again."

Mellie lets out a small chuckle, her eyes full of sadness. "How does one woman go missing twice in one year."

It's a rhetorical question and he doesn't feel the need to reiterate the fact that Olivia has been kidnapped this time. This time she was taken, this time she didn't leave, this time she is in danger. Last time she went freely, last time she went with another man, last time she was on an island.

"Why did she leave? Before I mean." He is surprised by Mellie's question and while he knows the answer to her question, he doesn't say anything, instead he stands up and begins pacing the room. He and Mellie have promised to be more honest with each other, but he knows in this moment he is going to lie to her. Olivia left because she thought her mother killed his son, but he can't tell his wife that.

"After Jerry…," he begins "I think she thought it was best to let us be." It's a half-truth and he convinces himself that a half-truth is better than a lie.

Mellie nods and seems satisfied with his answer although it looks as if she suspects there is more to the story. It's not often that he feels guilty for lying to his wife, especially since he's become president, but he adds the lie to his personal list of sins. "She came back though."

"She did," he confirms. Where is Mellie going with this?

Fitz looks over at his wife, he's suddenly taken aback by the sight of her in all black. She looks so much like she did the day they buried their son and much like that day, the color has left her face. "I'm glad she came back. At first, I wanted her to stay away from us, but you're happier when she's around."

He knows Mellie came to this realization a long time ago, it's the reason she got Olivia to run his re-election campaign, but it's the first time he's heard her say it out loud to him. "I'm sorry," he doesn't know why he's apologizing to her, but he's still feeling incredibly guilty about everything and it slips out.

"Well," she says rubbing his leg. "All I'm saying is that sometimes we do horrible things for the people we love."

As Mellie stands up and exits their bedroom, he can't help but think her statement describes their whole relationship.