Chapter 1

Blame

My back hit the wall hard, pain shot through me like a bullet out of a gun, but I endured it, like always. "It's all your fault. It's always been your damn fault," He screamed at me, "She was going home after picking you up at your fucking friend's house!" he hit me with a wine bottle, and it shattered in to pieces, this time I fell to the floor in a heap. I got up quickly ignoring the pain in my leg, from one of the shards that was now embedded in my leg, knowing that if I stayed down he would only strike me harder. He was leaving for his room his anger gone for now. When I was sure he was up there I left for school, I knew it was only 7:30 in the morning, but I would live at school if it meant being away from my dad. Ever since he lost my mother, he hasn't been okay in the attic. He blamed me for what happened. If I could, I would set him straight, but the last time I tried to tell him wasn't my fault… well let's just say I was in the hospital for…. Longer than I ever want to be in the hospital ever again. My legs and back were throbbing. Fuck you, Dad, fuck you I thought, even thought it was pointless. God must really, really, really hate me I leaned up against the light post near the Lantern Café. School was half a block more I decided to wait for a bit and rest my muscles, so I sat down on the bench. It was still early in the morning, but people were in their cars going to work, I wish I could be old enough to move out, I'd take Ami with me, and we could send my dad to jail. If only I could-

"Hi Amu, are you going to go in or just sit here" the newest kid at school, who became good friends with Kukai very quickly, Angell asked. "Oh hi um I don't have enough money to buy anything, no job you know." God that was lame you couldn't do any better could you? Man! Just when I think I get my dads voice out of my head it pops up at the worst times. "Again? Here I'll buy you something." She replied obviously annoyed at the fact she had to buy for the 4th time this month. If she knew the real reason I didn't have money or wasn't allowed to get a job she wouldn't like me anymore. Worse she would tell the others. "Thank-you very much. I'm so sorry you have to keep spending your money on me." "Whatever. I'm rich remember?" Right she comes from a super-talented family. Her mom's a singer/actress and her dad is some big time director/script writer, her aunt is a famous author, and her uncle was a musician. "Right, guess I forgot for a second" I said forcing a smile.

After she bought me a bagel and coffee we went meet the others. God, what kind of dad does this to his daughter? He should be in a mental hospital. "Amu what do you think?" Kukai asked. "Oh um….. Sorry I wasn't listening." Then, out of pure impulse, I flinched. He sighed "I asked if you think we should be able to wear what we want to school instead if these uniforms?" "Oh yeah I guess that would be cool" At that moment the bell decided to ring.

**Kukai**

She's different than when I last saw her, back when she was in 5th grade. It was before her mom was killed in the accident, so I would guess that would be it, but it's not like her to zone out like that. I thought to myself as I walked to class, I'll ask her after school. "Please open your books to page 164." Well nap time. I shut my eyes and put my head on the textbook

LUNCH

**Amu**

The table was quiet. Tadase, Kukai, Nagihiko, Angell, Rima and Yaya were all at the table eating or at least using that as an excuse to not talk. Everyone else in the lunch room was chatting away and not eating the food, which I don't blame them it was disgusting. "Why is no one talking? Or is the food here better than they say it is?" Rima asked approaching the lunch table. "Guess no one has anything to say." Yaya replied and went back to eating her… what was it anyway? Never mind I don't want to know. I got up to go to the bathroom to check my leg. "Amu where are you going?" "Oh to the bathroom"

"Okay just wondering."

"Why?"

"Because if you were skipping class I would be happy to join you."

"Well, keep dreaming." Then I left for the bathroom.

When I got there it was empty. Good. I thought I can check my leg and not worry about other people asking what happened. I rolled up my leggings and looked at the wound. The glass from this morning was still there. I figured I should get it out. On the other hand my leg would bleed like it was attached to a hose. Maybe Kukai would know what to do? He is taking first aid as his elective. DING DING DING DING. Well time for the next class.

The next period of the day was supposed to be P.E. but it started to rain before lunch, so no track running. Instead we did gymnastics. After P.E. was math. Man I was awful at math. If I thought it was hard last year this year would be near impossible.

AFTER SCHOOL

I waited for Kukai to get out of class. When he did it was 15 minutes after the bell to go home rang. If I have to wait here for 30 more seconds I'm going home to the living hell that it is. "Hey Amu, why are you still here?"

"I need your help with something."

"Ok, wait what is it that you need help with?"

"Here follow me." As I dragged him off to some deserted place in the school yard. He resisted half the way, but eventually he just let me frag him. As we reached the place where no one would see us, and no one was likely to walk in on us, I rolled up my pant leg. "Amu what are you doing?" Kukai asked slightly shuttering. "I'm showing you what I need help with."

"Amu why- WHAT THE HELL?"

"Shut up and keep it down we may be a ways away from the school, but the teachers could still here us if we yell loud enough! Now can you just get the glass out with as little pain as possible?"

"Well I'll try. Let's see," Kukai said, as bent down to look at my leg, "Yeah I can get it out just give me a minute to find my gauze." God, why do I have to be put through this time and time again? Man, life is such a bitch. The thoughts came unbidden to my mind. "Here I found it. Now when I count to three I'll pull it out, and yes it will hurt. But it's better than getting an infection. Right?"

"Yes. Now just do it quick. I was supposed to be home 20 minutes ago." I was annoyed. I was frustrated. I was about ready to just rip it out if he wouldn't do it fast. At that moment a sharp pain shot through my leg. If only dad were this easy to get rid of. "And there you go all done." Kukai said as he pulled down my pant leg. Thank you Kukai. I owe you."

"No problem Amu and you bet you owe me. I'll see you later"

HOME

"Where have you been?" My dad roared as I walked through the door. "I was in detention." I replied hoping he would let it slide. Guess I should have known better. He came at me holding his hand out to slap me. God this will hurt. For once I agreed with the pessimistic voice in my mind. The pain was enough to make me cry, but I bit my tongue hoping the tears wouldn't spill out. I fell to the ground. My head struck the coat rack. My vision blurred, my heart raced, and my leg throbbed. I think that was the only thing keeping me conscious was my throbbing leg. He kicked me to get up. My leg was wobbly, but I got up just the same. He hit me again. Pain shot through my shoulder. Baseball bat? Real mature. Well at least my mind wasn't totally gone. I could still think of mean things that I wish I could say out loud. He left for his room. I waited down by the door for a couple minutes before I went to my room. Now to work on my homework. If I'm lucky I'll die in my sleep.

I was sleeping for about 5 minutes when I heard a knock. I sat up in bed, and looked toward the balcony. Ikuto… His name went through my mind in a melodic, sweet, and wanting way. I opened up the glass door. "Hey, why are you sleeping so early?" He asked as he stepped through the door

"Wore out I guess" I replied limping over to the bed.

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean why are you limping?"

"Sprained my ankle during gym"

**Ikuto**

"Sprained my ankle during gym" She looked away from me. She's lying. My mind figured it out long before I had the courage to say it. "Sprained ankle. Yeah right!" Yoru told her as he came out of my pocket. Then I smelled something I didn't notice before. I inhaled trying to figure out what it was. When I did my gut twisted in a knot, blood. What I smelled was blood. "So then what's with the blood?"

"Ikuto… I swear one of these days you will pay for this." She rolled up her pant leg and I swear I was as white as a ghost "What happened?" I hissed at her. For some reason I was angry and, in a way, sickened at the fact she was hurt. "I, uh, tripped on the way to school, fell on some broken beer bottle." She was turning red. I didn't know is it was in embarrassment or 'please believe me because I'm lying.' I decided embarrassment, because I didn't want to get kicked out. "So who fixed it up?" I asked hoping to get some more answers as to what really happened. "Kukai fixed it. He's taking first aid as an elective, so I asked him."

"Uh-huh, and when, might I ask, did he fix it?"

"You can ask, but you'll never get an answer."

"Why not?"

"Because it's my business not yours."

"Oh come on Amu I'm only curious." She walked over to me, and started hitting my chest saying "No, you're not. You always try to find out everything you can about me and my life, so you can tell Easter. You don't care!"

"Fine if you think that I'll just leave." I started to walk to the door. Then a hand on my shoulder made me stop. Don't ask why it did, it just did. "No, don't go." I turned around. Amu had taken her hand away, and looked on the verge of tears. "So you do like me?" Maybe that will get her back to her old self. She bashed her fist against my shoulder. "Pervert. You know what on second thought you can leave."
"Nah. I don't want to leave anymore." I said as I walked over to the bed to sit down.

"No. That wasn't me ASKING if you want to leave that was me TELLING you to leave." I just stood there looking at her. "SO LEAVE!" She snapped at me. I got Yoru and turned to leave the same way I got in. Just as I was leaving I heard footsteps. The door: across the room. The closet: right beside me. "Hide in the closet you can leave after." She is way too confusing. I stepped in the closet just as the door was opening. "Amu!" A voice boomed.

"Right here dad." Dad?

"Start cooking dinner."

"Yes, Sir"
"and if your ever late coming home again I will show you no mercy, unlike I did today."

"Y-Yes, Sir"

"Now go, or I'll get angry"

"Right away, Dad." After that Amu left to cook dinner, her guardian Su followed. "I wonder if HE'S the one Amu is protecting by lying?"

"I wonder that to Yoru."

"Are you going to ask her?"

"Yeah. I will when she comes back up." Amu, why have you been lying to me? To your friends? I was so confused why would her dad do that? Well that's what I'm going to find out.

It was a good 10 minutes before Amu came back up. While she was cooking I moved to behind the door. She came up and closed the door, not looking back. "Amu?"

"Ikuto! Why are you still here?"

"He did it didn't he?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't give me that shit. He put that glass in your leg didn't he?"

"It was an accident I'm sure he didn't mean to!" Just as I figured. Her dad was about to be found out. She acts defensively. "So, he is hurting you"

"I never said that!"

"But you implied it."

"N-N- Yes…" She looked utterly defeated, and on the verge of tears again.

"Then why haven't you told anybody?"

"Because me and Ami would be on the street."

"How long?"

"What?"
"How long has he been doing this?"

"Since my mom died."

"Why haven't you told me? I would gladly let you and Ami live with me."

"Just get out. And don't tell anyone."

"Amu, I was just…"

"I said GET OUT!" She roared at me. I left, not wanting to make her mad or get her dad to come up the stairs.

It took me longer than usual to get to my house, but I needed to think. I arrived at my house exhausted. Why would she not tell me? Why would she let him do that to her? Why wouldn't she tell someone? The questions just kept coming. The last thought I had before going to sleep was: Some father