Stave Two

The First of the Three Spirits

Scrooge pulled out of his garage a little faster than he actually intended to and skidded a bit on the ice before speeding off down the street. He wasn't sure of his destination but he knew he had to get out of the house for a while. The streets were very quiet and the night was very dark. A glance at the clock told him how crazy his venture was and he considered simply turning around but he couldn't bring himself to actually do it.

"This is insane. How could I have let a stupid dream do this to me?" He tried turning on the radio but he couldn't focus on listening to "Maybe some fresh air will do me good."

Scrooge pulled his car up near a local park and got out. He had half expected to find the gang of boys up to their usual illegal tricks but it was apparently too late and too cold even for them to be out. He gazed out at all of the playground equipment and tried to content his mind with the thoughts of all the potential injury lawsuits they represented. He buttoned up his coat and began strolling through the park. The night was still and silent. The only sound was the snow crunching beneath his feet. A sudden breeze disturbed the swings nearby and the creaking chains made Scrooge jump. He shook his head and pulled his scarf tighter around his neck.

He plopped down on a bench directly beneath a lamppost. He knew it was sheer lunacy to be out this late at night in the middle of winter but his dream about Marley had gotten to him. He looked at his watch and said "I'll sit here until one and hopefully I'll be able to relax when nothing happens."

The minutes ticked slowly by and Scrooge shivered. He could see his breath rising before his eyes in the light of the lamppost. He checked his watch again before wrapping his arms around himself. It was just about time for the first visitor that Scrooge was trying hard not to believe in. He glanced up as he heard a nearby church bell breaking the silence. Scrooge commented on the bells as he heard them "A quarter past…half past…a quarter to it…the hour itself."

A single deep tone boomed from the church tower and the light above the bench instantly intensified to blinding proportions. Scrooge winced in surprise and quickly shut his eyes tightly. The air around him seemed very agitated as well, as if he was sitting in the middle of a whirlwind. This odd event lasted only a few seconds before everything returned to normal. Scrooge blinked experimentally before opening his eyes and settling back down. "Well that was a ridiculous load of…"

"Nonsense? Oh Eddie, are you still talking like that?"

If Marley's voice had caused his heart to skip a beat, this was flat-out cardiac arrest. He couldn't begin to describe the rush of emotions that flooded his brain as he turned to stare into the eyes of his older sister, who was now sharing the bench with him. She was beautiful; shining brown hair, glowing fair skin, and eyes that radiated joy and love. Her feet were bare and her stylish yet tasteful dress was the color of fresh fallen snow. She also didn't look a day older than she had the day she'd died.

"Fran? It's not…it can't…why…how…?"

"Please tell me you didn't greet Jacob like that. Although I do understand that you greeted him someplace warmer. What are we doing out here?"

"What are you doing here at all?"

"I'm your own personal Spirit of Christmas Past who will begin her job where you should have started." She then embraced her brother and Scrooge found himself returning the hug with great enthusiasm

"Fran, oh Fran I…I don't even…"

"I know Eddie, I know." She ended the hug and moved further back on the bench so she could look at him. "Oh my, you're not aging very well. All that worry and alcohol, it really is a bad combo."

"Will everyone please get off my back? I know how to take care of myself."

"Oh yeah and I'm best friends with the Easter Bunny. Although to tell the truth my best friend does have a lot to do with Easter but that's beside the point. Eddie, tonight we're going to explore just how well you've always taken care of yourself."

"What the h…I mean what the Dickens is that supposed to mean?"

Fran stood up and held out her hand "Walk with me, Eddie."

He reluctantly stood and took her hand. They then set off down the nearby street but it didn't seem the same as it had a moment before. The houses were in an older style as were the cars in the driveways. Also the sky was lightening until Scrooge would have said it was late afternoon. Everything seemed so warm and familiar; Scrooge was back in the neighborhood of his childhood.

"Okay, now I know I'm dreaming. This can't be happening. This is our hometown, Fran."

"Yes it is. What did you think Spirit of Christmas Past meant?"

"We've…we've gone back in time!?"

"In a sense; just roll with it Eddie."

"Yeah, ok. Oh Fran, it even smells familiar. And those kids there" he pointed at a group of boys running past on the sidewalk "I went to school with them. Stop running on that icy sidewalk kids unless your Christmas present to your families is a nice personal injury lawsuit."

"Two things Eddie: First, they can't see, hear or feel us. In fact, nobody can. Secondly, and I say this as your loving sister, shut up! No legal talk while we're busy redeeming you."

"What makes you think I need redemption? I'm more than financially stable, I make a difference in the world, I'm even relatively happy. Why are you giggling and what is so wrong with my life?"

"Oh I don't know, let's ask him." Fran was pointing the yard of a conspicuously undecorated house with a simple snow fort in front of it.

"I…I don't think I want to see him."

"Well I do, let's go."

Fran grabbed Scrooge's hand and dragged him to the snow fort. Peering reluctantly over the edge Scrooge saw himself as a youth surrounded by a protective wall of snow and reading a large book. The boy was so deeply engrossed in the story that he probably wouldn't have noticed Scrooge and Fran even if he was able to. Scrooge remembered the many moments like this; hidden away from the world in one way or another with his beloved books. He didn't even notice that he was smiling as he remembered his good friends Tom Sawyer, Sherlock Holmes, and the rest of the rather eclectic gang. They had never hurt him, never beaten him, and never made him or his sister cry.

"If you had wanted to get away from father, building a snow fort in the front yard wasn't the best plan Eddie."

"He had forbidden me to go far from the house. It's amazing how clingy a man who hates your guts can be."

"In all fairness, father did mellow with age. His second marriage did him a lot of good."

"Too little, too late I'm afraid. All the mellowing in the world can't give me back my childhood."

"You didn't do a lot to help yourself, did you? How many offers of friendship did you reject?"

"I doubt anyone really wanted to be my friend."

"Here comes someone who certainly did."

Scrooge and Fran stepped back from the fort and watched as a girl in her early teens came walking swiftly towards the house carrying shopping bags. She rolled her eyes and carefully set the bags down. She silently sneaked up to the fort and shouted "Boo" as she popped her head over the edge. The boy jumped and almost dropped his book in the snow.

"Don't do that, Fran! I thought I was having a heart attack."

"Just checking on my favorite brother and seeing that he too lost in another world."

"Yeah because this world is so much fun to be in" the boy muttered very sadly

Fran's smile disappeared as she climbed into the fort. "I'm sorry Eddie; I didn't mean it that way. I'm sure your books do you a lot of good. Hey, I just had an idea. Why don't you come to the church Christmas party with me tonight? I bet…"

"That church could help me if I gave it a chance? Where's God whenever Dad starts drinking? Where was God when I killed Mom?"

"Eddie, you listen to me! You did not kill Mom. I've told you before, people die in childbirth all the time; it is tragic and awful but nobody's fault."

"Then why does father treat me like it is my fault?" Suddenly the boy was crying and his sister was holding him tight. "Ugh, I'm too old for blubbing like this."

"He's just a very confused, very hurt man. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you and one is never too old to cry."

The older Scrooge was stomping away from the snow fort while furiously rubbing his own eyes. "I remember now, not only were you ridiculously optimistic but you were always on about that God crap. Where has any of it ever gotten anyone?"

"You'd be very surprised Eddie. I'm hoping it will get you somewhere tonight."

"Oh yeah, as if I'm supposed to believe that God suddenly cares about me."

"Who do you think set this little journey up? He cares, Eddie, He has always cared. You've just never cared enough to let Him work in your life."

"Oh well I guess I never knew that. There's my lesson learned, I'm going home now."

"I'm afraid it's not nearly that simple Eddie. Doesn't this memory do anything to you?"

"Yes! It makes me very uncomfortable, very sad, and very angry. Is that what your God wants?"

"Yes. Yes, Eddie it is. Don't you realize what those emotions mean? If you didn't feel them it would mean that you were dead inside. Your heart is still in there Edward Scrooge, don't bury it deeper. Mourn for that child sitting in the snow and make peace with him. While you're at it, you might want to remember other poor children like him."

Scrooge glanced back at the snow fort and thought for a moment. He found himself thinking of that boy he had seen earlier in the evening, that newcomer into the gang of hooligans. For the first time, he found himself wondering what it is that makes a child choose to join such a "family." Scrooge didn't like how it made him feel so he forced the thought out of his head and turned away from the shadow of his younger self. After all, what became of the child on the corner was nothing to do with him.

"Fran, I think I get it, I really do. May we please move on now?"

"Certainly, let's go see another Christmas."

The area around them rapidly morphed into an extremely cozy and inviting living room. The fire in the hearth was blazing splendidly and the flames seemed to dance to the music that filled the room. The tree and decorations sparkled intensely as if they were trying to compete with the glow of the fire but secretly knew they would never win. An absolute army of aromas filled the air with the hints of pine, Christmas candles, and more food than could be readily isolated and identified. The people milling about and chatting were a jolly lot wearing fine and festive clothes. One man in particular drew Scrooge's happy eye; a plump and merry gentleman by the name of Charles Fezziwig.

"Oh my goodness, its Mr. Fezziwig and this must be his annual Christmas party. He would invite the whole neighborhood over, more people than his house could hold and yet it somehow always did. He gave me my first real job, that kind old fool. Who would have thought that such a successful lawyer would give employment to a grumpy teenager? He deserved a host of qualified and skilled workers in his office but he instead let me answer phones, type, sweep, and…and…"

"And basically be Bob Cratchit?" Fran chimed in "How ironic that you now treat him as you do in such a similar position."

"I treat him well enough. The economy doesn't allow for me to give out buckets of money."

"There's more wiggle room in your bank account than you'd like to admit Eddie. Has it ever occurred to you that Bob may desperately need his job and the money it brings? How about the notion that he might sometimes need even more than you pay him?"

"I think I once I heard that he has a son or something but that's not my fault and it's certainly none of my business."

"He might have thought so."

"Mr. Fezziwig? Of course he would have the old bleeding heart. Then again" Scrooge went on with a warm smile "he really was a wonderful man despite his foolishness."

"Yes Mr. Fezziwig would have cared but I was referring to that handsome young man over there loading up his plate with food."

Scrooge looked at himself as a teenager. He was much taller than but nearly as thin as the child he had found reading the book. He looked happier though and he was humming along with the music as he helped himself to even more food.

"Careful Ed or that plate might rebel and break just to spite you." The speaker was a plump and very kind looking woman who was actually quite happy to see the youth enjoying her cooking so.

"I understand Mrs. Fezziwig but it's all so good."

"Well I'm glad to hear that but we're not going to run out. Why don't you stop hoarding turkey slices and go have some fun?"

"Ok Mrs. Fezziwig."

The older Scrooge smiled as his younger self walked past and ended up near Mr. Fezziwig "Ah there you are Ed. Is my young employee having a jolly good time?"

"Yes Sir I am."

"That's excellent my boy, excellent. I do so love spreading cheer and joy where I can."

"Yes Sir" the young Scrooge replied simply and somewhat sadly

Mr. Fezziwig sat his drink down and put a hand on the teen's shoulder. "It pains me to see what you and your sister are going through at home. Just know I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything.

"Thank you Sir."

"Are things any better these days?"

"A bit better Sir but its okay. Things will be much better for me soon enough."

"It sounds as if you have a plan my boy."

"Oh yes indeed Mr. Fezziwig. I'm determined to make something of my life. I'm going to college and I'm going to be a lawyer, like you Sir. The most important thing is that I am going to make so much money that nobody will ever push me around again."

"That is a very fine plan Edward but remember that money isn't everything. Please do your best to remember the truly important things in life like friends and family. I know things are tough but have faith and hang in there."

The youth's face clouded a bit but he simply said "Yes Sir."

"We can talk more another time, my boy. Go enjoy the party."

Young Scrooge nodded and started across the room. He was nearly knocked down by Mr. Fezziwig's youngest son Donald. "Come this way, Ed, we're going to start the games soon and I want the best player here on my team."

"I suppose I am rather good, aren't I? Lead the way, Donny."

"I remember this. There were so many fun moments when you worked for Mr. Fezziwig. He really was a wonderful employer and an even better man." Once again, Scrooge's thoughts were invaded by the image of Bob Cratchit and he felt a little sad. "I don't think you were at this particular party Fran. Too busy working yet another Christmas church event. You should have been in college then or possibly already out in the world being a teacher."

"Not enough money Eddie. You were the one who ended up with all of the scholarships to law school. Speaking of being a teacher, how is my Fred doing carrying on that dream?"

"Why did you have to spoil the fun by bringing him up?"

"Why don't you just get over the past and open your heart to the poor boy?" for the first time Fran now looked angry

"It's just…it's just…he looks like his father."

"I believe he has my eyes doesn't he?"

"That just adds to the pain. Look, I'm very sorry but can't I just watch the games for a few minutes. Mr. Fezziwig is playing charades and it's hilarious."

"I'd almost forgotten that you once liked games. I know it seems like we're just rushing along but I'm afraid there's more for us to see and do tonight. I wish I could let you linger here and be happy but that would just make the coming memories worse."

"Then let's not see them. My life doesn't have that many happy memories so let's savor them."

"Why? You don't usually do that. I thought you'd like to be miserable since you always make yourself such."

Scrooge wasn't sure what to say and the room was already fading and transforming. It was still a house, a Fraternity House that Scrooge remembered with deep horror. Riotous music filled the air and all around them college students were dancing, smoking, and drinking. Christmas decorations were up but the general air wasn't very reverent. Scrooge and Fran gazed around the room with far from impressed expressions on their faces. It didn't take them long to spot the now young adult Edward Scrooge talking and laughing in a corner with a circle of other guys, one of whom was a younger Jacob Marley.

"What did you ever see in parties like this? I know all too well what can happen at them."

"Fran I…I suppose I saw a place where I felt I could belong. I place where I could forget my inner demons for a short while. My roommate Jacob always knew where we could go to have a good time when we weren't hitting those heavy law books."

"Yeah you came where you could hit the booze. I know what's in that cup your younger self is holding and I know what's in your cabinet back at home right now."

"Again with the drinking is it? Is there anyone in the universe or wherever you come from that doesn't care about my habits?"

"We care more about your soul and what places and people like this did to it."

Scrooge opened his mouth and closed it again. He turned and decided to just watch the memories in silence for a few minutes. The younger Scrooge had broken away from the pack and was heading for the bar. However, he was distracted when the front door opened and a smile crossed his face. He rushed to greet his sister who looked pleased to see her little brother but not very pleased with her surroundings.

"My favorite lady is here, now the party can really begin."

"Yes but I'm sort of wondering what I'm doing here."

"You've come to see your little brother here at school. You've always wanted us to do fun stuff at Christmas and here we are."

"Here we are. You're right Eddie, of course you're right. Let's just try to have some fun. We also have tomorrow to look forward to."

"Great, you took my advice and are staying in town. Yes Big Sis, we are going to have a wonderful Christmas. Right now, we're going to have one spectacular Christmas Eve party."

"Eddie, you're rambling a bit…and slurring. Are you drunk?"

"Nope…well maybe just a little." He laughed and went on "Oh don't give me that look, Holidays are meant to be enjoyed. My grades are way up, I have a wonderful roommate, a girl downtown who I think is interested in me…oh yeah, I never told you about Belle."

"A girlfriend?" Fran asked with a genuine twinkle in her eye

"Not officially but it will happen. Speaking of romance, have you found anyone yet Big Sis?"

She sighed but didn't look too sad "Not yet but I believe it'll happen one day."

"Of course it will and probably sooner than you think. Oh my, is that Tate March checking you out over there?"

"If you mean the very red faced gentleman leering at me over that bottle of beer then I certainly hope not."

Her intoxicated sibling laughed again and said "Oh Fran he's pretty harmless. Maybe you should say hello but not before you come and meet my friend and roommate, Jacob."

Scrooge the younger led his sister over to the group of men and she shook hands with Marley. The present day Scrooge didn't pay very close attention to the conversation. He was dreading what he was hoping Fran wouldn't make him endure a second time. Surely she would leave before they got to that moment. Surely she would.

However, he began to have his doubts as they lingered at the memory of the party longer and longer. He watched with a pained heart and a constricted throat as his sister moved about the house and tried to have a good time as the party goers got more and more drunk. Several times she was offered a drink by Tate March but she turned him down every time and stuck with her cup of ice water. A tear escaped Scrooge's eye as he watched her attempt to sneak upstairs for a measure of peace and his fists clenched as Tate followed after her. He knew what was coming; he knew the music would be too loud for anyone to hear her screams. He knew that most people were too drunk and/or stoned to care very much and he even remembered with another tear how he himself had been very drunk and very slow to respond once the situation came to light.

He found himself unable to breathe and he dashed right through the party and emerged on the lawn of the frat house. The night was cold but he barely noticed it as he began to sob. He felt a hand on his shoulder and knew that it must be his Fran, the Spirit of Christmas Past. "What am I to learn from this? How can you show me this, how can you stand to even be here?"

"I'm here for you Eddie." Her voice was low and pained but her eyes were dry "To help you learn why you have become the man you are now. You're a man who is so incredibly bitter and full of hate."

"And why shouldn't I be?" he shouted "What is there to love about Christmas or God or even mankind? Did any one of those things stop that monster from raping you at a party I invited you to?"

"Listen to me Edward. Man was given free will and that has allowed evil to enter this world. If the Almighty stopped every act of hate and evil then we would not be free creatures. The choice to love can only exist when it is alongside the choice to hate. What happened on this terrible night is awful, painful, and evil. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me but do you know what? I have forgiven that man."

"What?!"

"It's true. I have forgiven Tate and I have forgiven you for inviting me. This was not your fault. I could have chosen to leave the party earlier, Heaven knows I wanted to. However, the past is the past and I made peace with it in the nine months that followed."

"Oh yes…Fred."

"I took after our mother in more ways than one. I did not survive giving birth to my son. I never even got hold him" at this her voice finally broke but she went on in a trembling tone "I had hoped that you would take care of him."

"I did. I helped where I could while father and our step mother raised him. I'm helping pay for his college aren't I?"

"Yes you are and I'm very grateful Eddie but Mr. Fezziwig was right. Money is not everything. You never really loved him."

"How could I love him? He is a constant reminder of this night and how it quite literally destroyed you. I'm sorry Fran but I don't feel much love for that boy."

"Much love? I thought you didn't feel any."

Scrooge let his mouth fall slightly open as he realized that his stirring emotions were not just for his sister but, most surprisingly, he also felt some for his nephew. "Well…what is love anyway?"

"You knew that answer once Eddie. Why don't we take a look?"

"What?" They had moved once again and now were in the office where he and Mr. Cratchit worked every day. The place looked much newer and brighter than it did now but the Scrooge of the past looked darker in contrast. His eyes had begun to grow cold and his features were becoming hard. Sitting across the desk from him was a very lovely fair haired woman in simple clothing. "Oh no, Fran please, I beg you."

"You need to see this."

His younger self spoke "Well, what do you think Belle?"

"I think it is a very fine office and I think you and your partner are sure to make a lot of money here. You're a very clever man; you set out to have your own firm and it has happened faster than ever expected."

"You don't sound very happy."

"You notice that I spoke of your sharp brain and I said nothing of your heart. I'm starting to wonder if you have one."

"Well Merry Christmas to you to. What brought that on?"

"It's been coming for a long time. I'm sorry that it sounded so harsh, I did not intend that, but I did intend to be honest. I don't know you anymore Edward."

"Of course you do. I'm still your fiancé."

"Yes you are but…"

"What are trying to say, Belle? I don't think I like how you let that sentence trail off."

"Do you love me, Edward?'

"What kind of question is that?"

"One that still hasn't been answered and I'm afraid that might be your answer. Do you love me enough to marry me even though I don't have much money? Do you love me enough to marry me even though family is a complicated, wallet draining thing?"

Scrooge hesitated and Belle sighed. He finally said "You were right when you said complicated. My family was never a very happy one, Belle, and I hope you'll understand if that makes me cautious."

"You weren't very cautious when you proposed to me. Was that a mistake?"

"It might not have been the wisest thing to do considering my financial and emotional state at the time. My nephew grows and requires expenses almost daily. Be patient Belle, one day I'll have enough settle down."

"No…I don't think you will. I don't think you even realize how hurtful your words were just now and that is part of the problem. You put a price on everything and you are so afraid of the world. Actually I think angry is a better word. You are so very angry at the world and you try to drown that anger with money and alcohol while I sit back and watch you do it. I'm sorry Edward. I am very sorry but I'm human and my patience only lasts so long. Maybe that makes me a bad person but I don't think I want the man you're becoming to be my husband."

Scrooge sat back in his chair. His older self remembered this conversation and he also remembered his thoughts of the time. Marrying Belle seemed exciting but it would be hard and complicated and very demanding on his life, especially if children were to follow. If she wanted out, wouldn't it be easier on both parties to let her have her way?

"So where do we go from here?" he asked at length

"I don't think we're going anywhere. I think, unless you're willing to work through this with me, that it's best if we just end things here."

"Well, perhaps you're right. Perhaps it is for the best."

"You sound very cut up by this meeting Eddie" Fran's voice cut in. Scrooge turned to stare at her as she went on "You do indeed have an excellent poker face or maybe you honestly weren't very hurt by the breakup."

"Of course I was hurt but how would you have dealt with that? Oh that's right; you died and left me alone with Fred and father. That hurt me too you know. And since you seem to delight in torturing me, this little journey of yours is causing pain a plenty!" He regretted his harsh words instantly as he saw the look on Fran's face. "I…I'm sorry. I didn't…"

"Apology accepted but I want you to remember something Edward. These events we've been visiting are simply the things that have already happened. They are what they are and you should not blame me."

"Oh Fran, I don't even know what I'm thinking right now. I just…I just want to be left alone for a while."

He sank into an empty chair and buried his head in his hands. The memories they had seen flooded his mind and filled him with regret for his past and his part in it. As he pondered this, he became aware of how cold he was. He looked up and was surprised to find himself back on the park bench in the middle of that bitter Christmas Eve Night. His sister was nowhere in sight and she did not answer his call. It seemed that his first miraculous visit had come to an end.