Winter. Definitely not my most favorable of seasons. I'm not sure whether it's due to the cold that can freeze many so easily, or the fact that I was born in June. Either way, I hate winter.

So it honestly even surprises me a bit when I find myself enjoying the newfound weather, specks of December snow descending upon the ground. The blinding white dust touched lightly upon the bare flesh of my cheek, acknowledging me of the fact that it was freezing out as I ignored the stinging cold. My coat wrapped tight around my form, my beanie hugging my head and mittens dusted in the blinding white specks that fell from the sky.

A park came upon my way and I decided to walk through it before continuing on my trek, feeling the goofy smile on my face.

Trees that dotted the park were old and twisted, bare of leaves from both the past fall and the freezing weather of winter, turning the branches to ice that curled in on itself. Footprints that were slowly fading lay upon the ground, most likely from couples who walked hand in hand or children playing or even just someone who wanted to be alone, just to think and enjoy the weather. Someone like me.

Shaking my head of these thoughts I decided to instead acknowledge the fact that winter was beautiful- stunning, even, when you got pass the snow and biting cold of December. The way the snow touched so delicately upon the ground was mesmerizing, the still-freezing ice breath-taking, and the winds that blew past and swept up anything in their path delicate and stunning.

A comfortable and happy sigh escaped my lips as I closed my eyes, the air releasing itself into a wisp of smoke-y fog that disappeared only seconds later. My mind travelled to times in the past as I wondered to myself, when was the last time I did something without Hikaru?

That question seemed to come to mind a lot as of late, and as much as I'd love to destroy it, trample it beneath all the other questions and thoughts that roamed my mind, I couldn't. Because it was unanswered. And oh how I hate unanswered questions.

Hikaru. He seemed to be the center of my thoughts, and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to clear my mind of him.

I can't clear my mind of the way the sun makes his eyes shine, even more so when they glint with mischief at the thought of a new way to prank someone. Can't forget the way water trickles down his chest and dips between his abs before disappearing whenever he exits the bathroom after a shower wearing nothing but a towel. I seem to constantly remind myself of his deep voice, hard yet soft and oh-so-tempting, different from the delicate, soft tone my voice had taken on. I can't seem to forget why I love him.

It was bound to happen- falling in love with my brother, I mean. For the first 15 years of our lives we figured no one else in the world mattered but ourselves. We had the little world of "Us" where no one else could knock on our door, and if they did we'd teach them why not to. Then they'd never return. We taught ourselves that the world of "Everyone Else" was a dangerous place, territory not to tread in that we had ignored our whole lives.

Then we met the Host Club, the first people to knock on our doors and stay.

Honestly, I can't thank Tamaki enough for what he did. If it wasn't for his acceptance of us and inviting us entry into the Host Club, we most likely wouldn't be the people we are today.

But then we also met Haruhi. Haruhi Fujioka, the first person to pick the lock. The only person who tried. The only one to dig real deep, and go past the symmetry and the similarities and simply know.

I hate her for that. And yet, I can't really hate her, because she's done nothing wrong. She was herself, and if that's reason to hate her, then send me to jail myself.

Honestly I even held affections for the short brunette- for a short period of time. If anything the love that had been saved for her was forced, something created only to appease my growing need to love Hikaru.

Obviously it failed considering I now don't know how to feel towards the girl and am still head-over-heels in love with Hikaru.

But I have to pretend- pretend that I love her, care for her, adore her, because otherwise it'd be suspicious. Besides- it would hurt Hikaru if I suddenly stopped, yeah? He knows I know that he doesn't like sharing, and he knows that I would easily "give up" the girl for him if necessary. So I'm not any real competition for her heart.

Although I am competition for his.

I admit I don't really try- I don't really want to. I don't want to taint Hikaru with the love of a sinner, with the thoughts that plague my mind and send me to the brink of insanity before I calm down enough to enjoy what I have with my brother.

I think that's why I don't try. What me and my brother have won't last forever, so I won't to make it last as long as possible, and if "as long as possible" is only a few days more, then so be it.

Hikaru's happiness is my happiness.

A/N: Okay so I was reading the reviews for this story because I finally have one, and I noticed Snodin's (sign in so I can address you formally in PMs er something!). He noticed how many stories have it where Kaoru is depressed and all that shit.

I'm here to say, I don't really want that kind of story. Yes, I want to write a story where Kaoru is upset and almost to the brink of insanity, but I don't want him depressed or anything.

So to Snodin, this is supposed to be different than all those other stories that are being read, at least if by a little. And it wasn't really mentioned in the anime or manga, it's simply using the clues given in both to create new stories, y'know? Reading between the lines. Go back and watch the Halloween episode to see what I mean. It's more or less stated when dealing with the Cinderella thing he has going on, that and a bit in The Twins Fight! episode.

I don't think I ever said this but if anyone is curious:

This story is about Kaoru's love for Hikaru. It's about how Kaoru is finding himself drifting farther away from his brother and trying not to let the love for his other half get the better of him. This is a story about the struggles Kaoru goes through, going by the motto of "Hikaru's happiness is my happiness" to get him through everything despite the circumstances. Then he meets Codelle Cambridge. Codelle is a simple girl (and only a supporting OC- she won't be shipped with anyone, swear!) moved from America to Japan after her parents died. Kaoru is falling into the darkness, and Codelle is trying to help him find his light, while Kaoru tries to show Codelle how to break out of the world that she had shrunk herself into. They are two different people with similar stories, and I wanted to create this story to where Kaoru needs help because he can't do this on his own, and Hikaru is too busy with his own problems to notice.

I haven't decided if this will end with a depressed Kaoru who commits suicide or something, or if this will be about a happy Kaoru who is slowly, but surely, making it through life despite all the struggles and rebuilding the damaged pieces of his heart, with or without Hikaru. Because Hikaru's happiness is his happiness.

I hope that cleared up some stuff! This was a surprisingly short chapter (in my opinion) and it was going to be longer, but I think I'm just going to continue where I left off in the next chapter.

I honestly feel like this was some sort of rewrite of the prologue, but whatever.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club nor any of its characters. I only own the story idea and any thoughts put into this FanFiction, along with the structure of it. Everything belongs to its respective owner.

Read and review, please! It'd be greatly appreciated!

~Angie the Author