Youngest Member

Date Posted: 11/16/15

Word Count: 1574

Kakashi Hatake was warring with his own mind. Not to say that this was a rare occurrence, but the subject of his mental disagreement wasn't the usual. Usually, he dwelt on darker things; things like guilt and shame and insufficiency. His mind was a place of hungry self-destructive shadows, after all. But no, tonight, as he laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, his thoughts circled around the newest ANBU recruit like buzzards.

Itachi Uchiha. Child prodigy. Sharingan. Deadly talent as a shinobi. It all sounded so awfully familiar.

He was likely the best in his time, if not in the history of the Leaf. Kakashi couldn't recall off the top of his head the last time he heard of one single ninja holding so many high hopes, aside from perhaps the name Shisui Uchiha - and he was in Itachi's peer group, and a fellow member of the ANBU.

Itachi, therefore, was a valuable asset to the village and the Land of Fire. With a generation of Uchihas such as his on the rise, Konoha would be well on its way to peace within its borders, and Itachi would be instrumental in its success.

Then why, Kakashi asked himself, did it feel so calloused to think of it this way? Why did he mentally cringe at calling Itachi Uchiha an asset?

He was. It was not wrong, was not an incorrect statement. But it felt wrong, so wrong that it kept Kakashi up for hours, ever since the day that little boy stepped into Team Ro's locker room, shockingly aware of the life that he had signed himself over to.

The previous day was no exception. In which Kakashi accompanied Itachi on his very first ANBU mission.

From Itachi's simple response to Kakashi's putting the mission in perspective - saying that he didn't mind the food pills - to the ruthless way the boy had dispatched each and every enemy while Kakashi found himself busy dealing with Gai and his expected objections to their mission.

And Gai… he hadn't the slightest clue. But he could never hide what he was feeling. Gai was horrified with what he'd witness that day; Kakashi had seen it etched across his face. And he couldn't blame him. Gai had no darkness in his heart. No shadowed side of his mind that he had to try desperately to keep hidden from the rest of the world.

Meanwhile, Itachi had taken the initiative, despite being 11 years old, and carried out the brutal mission without a second's hesitation. Kakashi still vividly recalled the scarlet blood that hung off the boy's hand, spattered up his arm and across his flak jacket. It was something that made the everyday ninja proud. Itachi's parents, the rest of Team Ro, the Sandaime Hokage himself acknowledged Itachi's worth as an obedient shinobi. Even Kakashi had felt his respect for the boy leap up several notches.

But he couldn't bring himself to feel anything but a sense of guilt. Of mourning. Mourning for whatever sort of child Itachi had once been, and would soon no longer be. Guilt for being a part of dragging him into this ruthless underworld.

In the ideal world, no child would have to be a part of such darkness as the ANBU.

But this world was far from ideal. Kakashi had so much evidence of this fact, that it was almost comical in a dark, twisted sort of way.

The Leaf needed Itachi. Needed him so desperately that they were willing to sacrifice his childish innocence and humanity for the sake of their security.

Sunlight glared through Kakashi's bedroom window, straight into his face. His Sharingan throbbed, and he squinted both eyes shut while he raised a hand to shield himself from the offensive light.

When had the sun come up?

He recalled lying down to sleep, but sleep hadn't come, and he'd had no choice but to lie there and dwell on these tumultuous thoughts until it did. Had he really mused straight through the night, all those hours, and not even noticed?

With a deep-rooted sigh, the Copy Nin sat up and rubbed his hands over his weary face, careful of his mask. Felt every stress line that aged him beyond his years. Now that he thought about it, his eyes felt dry, his eyelids heavy, but no more than usual. His sleeping pattern was erratic at best as it was; what was one more fitful night?

Ibiki will ask again, no doubt.

That was right, wasn't it? Today was Eval Day again.

"'Spose I better get a move on, then…" he said to nobody. The silence of his apartment was the only reply he got.

Dredging up the motivation, he swung his legs over the edge of his bed and set his feet on the cold hardwood floor. The chill made him shiver, but he stood anyway. From his closet, he gathered his casual gear, and shuffled into his bathroom for a quick shower.

Ten minutes later saw him wandering the streets of the Leaf village in the virgin light of dawn, in no particular hurry to get to his destination. Between having another half hour before he was expected at the Interrogation Unit Headquarters, and feeling no great desire to see the sadistic Morino again, Kakashi let his feet drag and took the scenic route.

With his mind still running in circles over his previous subject, he moseyed along, oblivious to the world around him, until the laughter of children broke through the serene morning peacefulness. Like a rock shattering a pane of glass.

Kakashi raised his head and found himself passing by the Ninja Academy. A brown-haired teenager with a scar across the bridge of his nose - an Umino, Kakashi thought he was - ushered child after rambunctious child into the building and seemed to keep track of them with the clipboard he held.

And lo and behold, there appeared the subject of Kakashi's nightly musings, ankles dogged by a smaller boy with spiky black hair, boasting the Uchiha crest on the back of his high-collared shirt.

Itachi Uchiha's own casual wear made him look older than he was. Kakashi recalled how small the boy seemed when clad in his ANBU uniform.

"Nii-san," the younger boy was saying to Itachi, with a great beaming grin on his face, "will you be home after school today?"

"I couldn't say," said Itachi, with a fond smile of his own. "I don't think I'll have a mission today, but you never know when something will come up unexpectedly."

The younger boy seemed to pout. "That's what you always say…"

"We'll see, Sasuke. I'll tell you what: maybe, if I am home when you get back, I'll have all my work done. Then maybe I'll help you with your homework. And then, maybe, we'll get to some shuriken practice."

The boy, Sasuke, wasn't very much pleased with this proffered deal. He sulked all the more. "That's a lot of maybes."

Itachi laughed, a sound Kakashi had yet to hear. It made him stop in his tracks.

Such a youthful sound…

"Sorry, Sasuke, but I'm afraid that's how it has to be." Itachi then beckoned the younger boy closer. Sasuke obliged with a trudge, only to be poked between the eyes by his older brother. Sasuke harumphed in displeasure, while Itachi continued speaking.

"If it doesn't work out, we'll have to do it next time."

"When 'next time'!?" Sasuke whined. The school bell interrupted his objection, and Itachi gave him a light push toward the main door.

"Hurry, Sasuke! You'll be late!"

Despite heaving a begrudging sigh, the boy gripped his satchel strap and bounded off, leaving Itachi behind. The scarred teen - ah, Iruka! That was his name - met him at the door like a mother hen, shooing him inside. But before Sasuke's feet crossed the threshold, he broke from Iruka's fussing to turn and wave at his brother. His bright, untainted grin was back in place.

"Have your work done! I'll see you after school, nii-san!" With that, the young Uchiha scampered into the building, with Iruka close behind.

Itachi stood there for several long, silent seconds. Kakashi found himself transfixed by the ghosts of what had just transpired, running over the scene in his mind.

Such a domestic moment. Simple and pure, two brothers being brothers. The damper came with the knowledge that Itachi was anything but a normal big brother.

He was ANBU.

As such, it shouldn't have surprised Kakashi when Itachi turned to look right at him. There had been no wandering of his gaze; those piercingly dark eyes had trained right on him where he stood rooted.

He'd known Kakashi was there.

Itachi was certainly good enough for that to be so, and Kakashi was fully aware of that, but he couldn't help stiffening under the boy's intense stare.

Another moment of quiet passed between them. Then, without a word, Team Ro's youngest member bowed his head, and then whisked off to the rooftops, dashing away in the direction of the ANBU barracks.

The air felt weighty with some unspoken message that Kakashi could only wish he had the skill to interpret. And he still had yet to solve his own nagging mental puzzle.

If Itachi Uchiha was such a rare talent and valuable comrade, why did it feel like a shame that he was counted equal among the likes of Kakashi Hatake?