Nicolas Cage ate some ice cream in the corner. The chilling flavor of the strawberry numbing his mind from all the pain Riley caused him. He turned on the tv with his mind powers. It was Game of Thrones! He liked that show, but not the cersei bitch because she was a stupid idiot. He chuckled loudly as a ho got decapitated. What did he need Riley for? He had ice cream and tv, what more did he need? Yet, the tears tenderly fell down his smooth cheeks, swirling into the strawberry ice cream. There was only one way to get Riley back. MURDER!
Riley and his lover spent the day blissfully doing the do. "Uhhh yes baby, touch my stone." His statue would croon in his deep black man voice.
"Yeah, good." Riley cried out. The two made their way to a movie. It was a good movie with sexy superheroes and some ho with red hair and a puny gun.
"Dat bitch is useless." Riley heards a man behind them say. He looked back, it was a black man in a purple and yellow jersey and a chocolate bar. His name was Coach and they smiled at eachother. Statue got jealous, he saw that boy looking at some big strong black man. With a loud bang he shot the Couch.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Riley yelled. "We are breaking up, statue. You don't shoot hot men."
"I ain't lettin' you go." Statue used his powers to make Riley in love again with him.
Nicolas Cage called the cops because he saw the hole thing. They locked Statue up for what he had done in a pyramid. They said Riley could never see him again.
Nicolas Cage slinked up to Riley, hugging him close he pretended to be sorry for what had occurred. They walked in the park and the fresh air broke statues evil curse. Taking a seat on a bench the two talked about treasure and they decided they had a NEW MISSION!