Andy shouldn't have agreed to this. Who was she kidding? Good cause or not. Get up there and dance. Maybe she could disqualify herself by losing her cookies on Derek or Val or Maksim. Felt sick. She was going to throw up. Yup. She rushed to the bathroom at a sprint.

Miranda had sent Emily it wasn't like she was cheating per se merely weighing and measuring her fellow opponents' ahem competitors thus why Emily Charlton was spying for her boss this evening.

Emily was just supposed to learn who the other contestants' were. It was not like Miranda was going to win or anything. Merely preparation. Miranda didn't like entering anything blind.

Taking in each person with pretence of fetching with her head chopped off for her feared boss, if only she could remember names, like Andy, once did with such ease. This bristling McQueen clad redhead from Roehampton loathed Andrea Sachs, wardrobe given or not, first Emily got over hideous skirt wearing backstabbing colleague stealing Paris from her but then to nastily jilt Miranda's unusual munificence by fleeing during Fashion Week. Unforgivable.

Miranda had needed her and Miss Dunkin Donuts Cincinnati had just left without notice or care. Didn't look back to the chaos and commotion she'd caused.

Andy should have stayed. Needed her. They all did. Knowingly or not. Especially one silvery haired editor that month with atrocious Stephen and more...

She was still floored, why Miranda, even gave a reference, to that ungrateful polyblend wearing cow…Emily had thought she and Andy were friends…sort of… the sort of person you talk with…put down every chance you get…make fun of, not just behind their backs. Rely on. For an American.

Got the hint no return calls, just a silly fashionista at Runway. They all were to Sachs.

Just because Emily once thought Simone de Beauvoir ran a country in South America and Frida Kahlo should have invested in tweezers. So she snarkily proclaimed to an amused Sachs that A Farewell to Arms was a dieting book.

Emily was not stupid.

Could Sachs name every couturier? From all continents. Ugh. No.

Still couldn't believe Andy had asked how to spell Gabbana, proved it. Comparative Lit didn't teach you everything.

Emily clandestinely took in a few competitors. Sneaky reconnaissance was good fun for her. Privately felt should have worked for MI5 with her ability. Checking her stiletto.

There was the rock star out of rehab, two 80s sitcom stars, some MLB baseball World Series pitcher who could throw a knuckleball or something at 100 miles, a reality TV star, one perky daytime host, the renowned chef who catered the Oscars, an Cosmetic Heiress, an Olympic gold medallist and a smooth Nashville singer, an absent bestselling author, than there was Miranda and one more missing. Some political news correspondent was in the loo.

Saw them.

Oh no. Not here. Not tonight.

Emily Charlton saw a certain person, Miranda would walk out of the show over. Here. Would be near her tonight. In the show. No way to avoid them. How to break this to Miranda gently. Had to tell her. Deserved to know.

The producers' had let the twins stay with her. ''Mom you'll be fine.'' Caroline encouraged as Cassidy snapped another photo near the sign.

Miranda was not nervous.

Nigel fussed with his choice of dress, Miranda had him arranging her gown and Serena applying her lipstick.

Miranda Priestly wondered why she'd agreed to this. No backing out now.

Emily came barrelling in, how she managed running at breakneck speed in those, whispering to Miranda who she'd seen.

Here.

Was not part of the audience.

Miranda blue eyes went very dark. Was here. Cassidy heard it... their name. Had some nerve, being here. Competing. Upsetting their Mom.

Caught Cassy's arm. Caroline was blocked by their usually indulging godfather.

''Out of my way.''

Nigel bit back a smile looking stern at Car. ''Now Rusty no headlines. I'll handle this.'' Nigel would take Serena she knew Tai Chi.

''I am not withdrawing. Just because they're here. I can handle this. Nigel.'' Given a reassuring smile.

No she was staying and by second week they would be gone. Voted off. Not her.

Prompted by monitor. .1.

Watching the amazing opening number on the monitor. Each dancer was incredible. The hosts addressed the audience with music blasting.

''bit of a surprise this season, our contestants will meeting each other for the first time on air unlike last season so let's welcome our stars.''

Andy stared at herself in the mirror. Willing herself. You can do this Sachs. Psyching herself up. Forgone the show's wardrobe choice. Didn't want to resemble Carmen Miranda or a lap dancer. And no sequins, Andy wasn't Liberace.

Wore what she liked. An elegant black dress she'd bought in London. Backless. If she was going down in flames she'd sure as hell be comfortable.

Had Doug on speed dial in a stall. ''Andy this isn't Who wants to be a Millionaire phone a friend there's no way any viewer in America wants to see me shimmy my…it wouldn't be legal in any state. My court date would be pending.''

Andy smiled into the receiver at Doug who was at home loyally tuning in. Trying to relax. Clutching the wall. Only got this way during games in high school. Funnily Andy could face war zones but this made her queasy.

''Tell me you didn't tell anyone.'' Andy begged.

''Maybe just a few.''

''Doug.'' Andy gasped. Gripping her phone tighter.

''I got excited and started bragging about you on my Facebook and our old class wishes you luck. Mrs Maguire sends her best, do you know for such a… she has tons of friends, 100s who'd have thought… scaring you, me senseless in junior high. Making us read Flaubert and the Scarlet Letter and Madame Bovary as a warning for adultery during summer school.''

Doug was pouring a snack into a bowl, nourishment to cheer on and watch his friend. He had it easy he could be home comfy and safe on his couch snacking on munchies through this, while scared to death Andy had to stay.

Andy heard him open a soda can and slurp. He was enjoying this too much.

''Hey. Do you remember when you hit her with that contraceptive on a banana…I laughed for a week.'' Doug chortled at that memory of mortified Andy. Flying rogue condom hits prim teacher.

Andy remembered well enough, yeah good times. Safe sex and braces. Calamity followed Andy Sachs.

Andy cut well-meaning but imbecile has her back over anything Doug off. ''Doug I don't think I can do this.''

'' Sure you can. Besides your hometown is behind you Andy and you know that seniors' bingo church group we accidently got drunk with …those sweet Goldie oldies, kept pushing and plying us with Gosling's Dark and Stormy's their loyally tuning in…For you. Andy. That ESL class you taught well Hami, Vinay and Li say Hi.

''Too late to back out now. Now go be on Dancing with the Stars and do not embarrass me.''

Andy shakily exhaled with a laugh. Fine. She could do this. Hung up on Doug.

She'd survived the Taliban. This was a cinch with the added pressure of everyone she ever knew since birth watching her tonight. When this was over she was killing Douglas.

Rounding up celebrities was supposed to be easy for Josh, sort of like a wrangler of the famous, hissed into his microphone, found P for Priestly now where the hell had that author gone off to or S for Sachs.

Greeting Miranda Priestly. Josh mouth went dry, boy she was a good looking woman for his mother's age. Staring at her cleavage. Josh pointed at a smiling dancer who in Emily's opinion was a hunk.

''Derek here will be escorting you out onstage Ms Priestly. Your partner.'' Corrected to call her Miranda.

''Right Miranda. Okay I've got the fashion lady. Where's that author.'' Trying to open a jar of Tylenol and locating the missing contestants before he had an aneurysm.

Josh grumbled should have gone to MIT and built drones not gone into showbiz.

Nigel along with her twins and Emily wished her luck. Serena wished her a warm Boa Sorte e divirta-se!

Miranda was announced.

Andy Sachs was found by Josh cornered. ''Sachs you're on in five.'' Prompted.

Swallowing a gulp. Ookay. Here goes.

Miranda stood with Derek who waved to viewers. Ignoring the next person announced. Not worth her attention. Stiffening rigidly with them close to her.

''Our next contestant is usually chasing up stories in war zones and dodging bullets not cha cha'ing, rumbaing or fox trotting.''

''Andrea Sachs.''

Both hosts said it. Sachs. Miranda thought she hadn't heard right despite her hearing being perfect.

Swept forward with Sasha.

Andy's head was spinning not just her body.

Miranda.

Miranda was here in all her beautiful glory. Walking up to them, Andy could almost hear a pin dropping. Miranda was here, along with Thompson. Christian Thompson right beside her. Derek between them.

Almost paralyzed.

What had she gotten herself into?

Doug chewed another chip, his phone rang, tearing his eyes away, had to get this call. ''Yes Mom. I'm trying to watch it right now. Yup Andy's on soon. No we're not dating. Why? As boyish as Andy is…no I'm not freezing my sperm and offering to make Andy a mother for her 30th, so you can have a grandcicle. Gotta go Mom.''

Missed the last two announced. Who cares, here was Andy.

Clapping at Andy's entrance. Doug spoke to his television. ''Good Andy, thatta girl, no clumsy tripping. Slow and steady. Good carriage. Confident.''

Doug's mouth dropped open at the camera spanning stunning dancing stars line up. Miranda Priestly was competing. Heaven help you Andy.

Andy's original theory of meaning nothing to Miranda was true enough. She didn't ever cross her mind. Had barely looked at her this whole evening.

Wrapping up in studio. Andy bid goodbye to a few other contestants and Sasha her new partner. Warned him she had two left feet.

Miranda out the corner of her eye was with Nigel and Andy realised the two coltish teenagers were the twins. They'd grown. Both were happily taking another photo with Derek.

Moving closer, approaching her ex-boss, Andy wasn't scared at all. Miranda did not intimidate Andy. Definitely not. Didn't, oh who was Andy fooling, did to.

Serena noticed Andy waving at her to join them. Andy took a breath. Rewarding Serena with a grin. Miranda followed Serena's gaze, saw her. Her blue eyes narrowing at Andy.

Gave a little wave to her.

''Andrea.'' Formal and false.

Andy choked out sputtering, her mouth as dry as the Sahara. ''Miranda.''

Nigel gave Andy a warm squeeze in greeting. ''Six.'' Looking between his boss and Emily both not happy seeing Andy.

Cassidy and Caroline had never seen Mom behave so rigidly and icy.

''Just thought I'd say Hi.'' Andy felt like an idiot. Now all she wanted was to hide.

Andy heard her answer her phone. Hearing the lightness, someone special was on the line. Hearing the passion when she spoke to them. Andy wished.

''Hello darling. Oh. You saw me, did you? Yes I'll be home soon.'' So Miranda was seeing someone. Sounded happy with them. Incandescent. Great.

This caller lived with her. Probably played squash and belonged to a country club. Tried to hear his voice. Straining to, held too close to Miranda's ear for Andy.

Miranda was someone else's.

Andy miserably played a whole slew of what he was like in her head. Probably tall. Was he like Stephen? Did he have salt and pepper hair. Was he tanned? Did he have a 34 inch chest? Work on Wall Street? If she heard his name could have Doug look him up. Then she'd use her investigative skills and Wikipedia. Just to see him.

Snapping her finger for her coat. Andy shot a sympathetic look at Emily, who didn't make eye contact. Ouch. What had she done? Andy wondered, she hadn't seen Em in five years.

Andy stepped away. Serena brushed Andy's cheekbone. '' Catch up drinks.''

Andy nodded at Serena. Spoke in rapid Portuguese. ''Com certeza! Andy had learned it ages ago on a story on favelas in Rio.

Andy chose to skip the after party. Avoid Thompson. Still in shock, wordlessly greeting Doug at his door. Slumping down on his couch.

''Doug what am I going to do?''

Doug offered a shoulder. ''Dance badly.'' Given a watery smile by Andy.

Hugged to him. ''She's seeing someone. He lives with her.''

''It's going to be okay… Cookie butter.'' Nodding into his shoulder. Handed a jar and spoon.

Andy was sprawled in her dress still across Doug. Snoring into his ear.

Andy phone ringing. Snuggling against Andy. His little care bear. Andy usually called him her little fairy bear. Her back up date.

Fumbled her IPhone. Put it to her ear. Groggy.

''Sachs. Here.''

''Andy Sachs. Hi maybe you're on your way but your due at our press release in twenty minutes. This is Josh at Dancing with the Stars.''

Andy bolted up. Fishing through her bag for a schedule she'd shoved it in, Andy's eyes scanned where was she supposed to be.

Goodness gracious and double fuck.

Two times Andy was frazzled similarly one surviving out to breakfast in Syria and meeting Miranda Priestly in a frumpy sweater. This topped both. She had eighteen minutes to get to Good Morning America in Doug's shrunk oxford and pants.

There Miranda was, immaculate. Who certainly didn't wake up in last night's dress using your best pal Doug as a pillow and a shoulder to cry on and eat cookie butter with till 1am?

Stared at by all.

''Someone had a rough night.'' The rock star gave Andy a knowing smile. Been there plenty.

Emily stared agape, well Sachs was certainly taking a fashion risk. In that.

Andy noticed she was to be beside Miranda and Thompson arranged further away. Having a mic pinned to her shirt. Ugh Doug's shirt. Laundrical mishap.

Miranda looked scathingly at Andy clearly scandalized. What did she have bed hair? Miranda could lighten up. So it was a bit wild. Try not washing it for a month with the Rangers.

''So Andrea this is quite a throwaway from Syria for you?'' Andy charmed the hosts. ''You know me, I love a challenge. No combat boots though. Although…''

Earning rich laughter from all. ''You use to work for Ms Priestly here.''

''Yeah a long time ago. It was an experience. That I value.'' Andy's eyes meant it. If only Miranda would look at her. Just once.

''Really?'' Miranda never spoke outloud without careful thought. But had. On live television. Sachs did this to her.

''Yes really Miranda. I just hope Miranda here doesn't break in Derek, her dance partner as memorably as I was.'' Andy told Derek she'd give him her old assistant notes of how to handle La Priestly.

Andy knew that tilt of Miranda's head. Staring right at Andy coolly. Better watch out. Or duck. Miranda was not taking this lightly or in good humour. The Snow Queen didn't jest.

Doug broke the sudden tension, knocked at the window. Andy couldn't help but suppress a small bark of a laugh at his crazy sign. ''Good luck Mon Petit Pois Dancing Care Bear Sachs.''

Waving to Good Morning America like a kid at Christmas. Doug mouthed. ''Hi Mom.'' Dancing to his own beat.

''You have a fan!'' Blown a kiss. Given a look by Andy to cut it out. Doug bowed to Andy.

''Oh that's Doug. I woke up with him this morning.'' Kill her now.

Andy had their complete attention. Miranda's brows shot up to her hairline. Great Sachs sound like a slut to the woman of your dreams.

Cutting to commercial. Miranda moved away from Andrea, undoing her mic from her silk blouse as Andy saw a hint of lace. Waspishly chided.

''Really Andrea sleeping for support. There's a lot in these five boroughs to drum up followers. Best get started. Don't ever do that to me again on air.''

Blue eyes warned her.

''Oh and Sachs stay out of my way.''

Right Miranda. Andy muttered to the back of her coiffed head.

Andy had her head in her hands at the coffee table. Those words I woke up with him this morning ringing in her mind. Said outloud. On TV. Not just local news. No on little old hardly usually watched Good Morning America. Viewed by millions. More humiliated she'd said it to Miranda.

Doug encouraged. ''It's not that bad. Andy. Hasn't been seen in China. Yet.''

Andy read The NY Post.

Sachs vs Priestly on Page Six.

Feedback was amazing, viewers loved their barbed back and forthness. Chat Boards were going crazy for them. The first dance is next week.

Miranda pinched her nose bridge. Emily would have to accompany her. Would simply work at the dance studio.

The twins were with Vere.

Derek was a great teacher for Miranda. At a loss why anyone called her The Dragon Lady.

Discovered they were in the same studio to practise in as Sachs.

Heard her annoying laugh first. Blue eyes spying only once when Miranda had to take a private call in the hall.

Sachs was terrible.

Andy's hair was tied up in a messy bun with loose strands trying to learn the waltz. It was so rigid and old. Sasha was encouraging to Andy. Wait a minute was her foot going back or his. Stepped on. Sputtered out. ''Sorry.'' Embarrassed.

Sasha had his work cut out for him with Andy here.

One other observer smirked. Bye Bye Sachs.

Dancing with Stars trophy was hers.

Oona the cosmetic heiress was sussing out her competition casually going from studio to studio as if she was lost.

Wanted this since pageants as child model. Her conversation ugh screaming match with her influential mogul of a father. Demanded this and only this. Wanted to be on this show.

Wanted to be crowned Dancing with the Stars champion.

''Don't I deserve at least that? I've been deprived of so much.'' Oona concluded.

Sure he'd wimped out with excuses of but pumpkin I thought you wanted to be in French Runway for Jacqueline. Not good enough.

''But sweetie, I was flying you to Paris in spring, a collection's been made for you.''

'Ah Ah. Daddy don't try to buy my affections.'' Oona spat this at him.

Oona pouted and huffed. ''Daddy my therapist's right. I'm unloved. I'm unappreciated. Only have one sports car. With a mere 10,000 a month to live on.'' Said all this as if she was expected to earn minimum wage flipping burgers and didn't drive a Lamborghini.

Irv Ravitz's stepdaughter would win this. One way or another. She'd just seen the first one to be voted off. Andy Sachs. Pathetic. Didn't have a prayer. Hello 1s for Sachs from judges' well Oona was 9s and 10s. Sure of it.