Chapter Two- Sick
Jason's POV
I sighed As I waited on the rooftop across from Carrie's apartment, it was fucking freezing and I couldn't believe how long it was taking for the girl to get home. The whole ordeal went down less than two blocks away. Really, all I wanted to do was talk to her. I knew she had to see me as an insensitive asshole after this morning. Prior to walking into that carry out, I didn't care what she thought of me. She was just some kid calling herself Robin. I knew she had to be talented, Bruce had made her his Robin. That meant she had to be tough but, tonight I walked in on her holding her own against six grown men. She certainly grabbed my attention.
A small smile graced my lips as the memory of her face when she yelled at me for using guns flickered through my mind. That was the other thing. There was something else about her, yes she was trained the same way as Dick, myself and the brat, but she had her own style at such a young age, she was a quick learner.
"Gotham needs someone like you Jason. Someone with your strict moral judgement, Someone that grew up in the harsh conditions that it is known for, the city needs you, but when it all comes down to it you are selfish and even vain, perhaps having your own Robin will help you to understand what it is to truly need to protect something, to fight for it like a man rather than just blowing it to smithereens" That's what Bruce said exactly one month and three nights ago.
I suppose Bruce was talking about Carrie, the more I see her, the more I see that she has something that none of us have anymore. Innocence. The kid has seen a lot of shit, been through shit, can call herself a Robin easily and no one would bat an eye… but that smile she has is genuine. Even after everything she can still be who she is, and not change into what the rest of us have become.
Finally her mother's car pulled into the lot and I exhaled deeply. Seriously, I can handle waiting hours for a drug bust to go down, but when something that should take ten minutes takes thirty, it's fucking ridiculous! Is her mother stoned or something? I leaned over a bit, my fingers tapped a button on the side of my mask, my scope activated and with each tap of my finger, my view of the situation on the ground became more and more clear. I watched my new protege step out of the car, she helped her friend onto her back and piggy backed the tired brunette into building E. Finally, her mother clambered out of the car. Another enhancement of my scope and I could see just how red the whites of her eyes were. Wow, she was actually high as a fucking kite.
I let thirty minutes pass, so that her mother would be settled in. I didn't worry about her friend because she looked unconscious when Carrie carried her into the apartment. Every light in the apartment was off. Carrie had made her way out onto the fire escape. For a few moments, I watched her stare off into space. Part of me wanted to know what she was thinking.
My cape bellowed as I leapt from the rooftop. Sparks flew at my heels as I slid down the railing coming off building C and with one swift move I landed perfectly on the sidewalk. I glanced toward the fire escape to find that Carrie had climbed back into her room. "Damn it." I mumbled.
I trudged across the street and stood beside the lamp post right outside her bedroom window. I wasn't sure if I could just walk right up to her window, it'd be unfortunate if I was wrong and her friend was awake. I needed to get her to come back outside. My blue eyes shifted upward "That should do it." I threw a batarang up at the light post. The weapon lodged in the glass and the street corner went dark with the exception of a few sparks. I looked up at her window, the crimson eyes of my cowl being the only light.
Carrie walked near the window, the redhead looked down at me with her round green eyes. From where I was standing, I could see that she jumped just a little bit. which pleased me because if I scared her I definitely scared low life criminals. She stepped out onto the fire escape and sighed. The girl walked back into her room and then returned to the fire escape, this time wearing a large coat. Metal steps clanked beneath her small feet as she made her way to my side.
"What the hell? You can't just go around vandalizing my apartment complex to get my attention! What the heck is wrong with you? " She made an attempt at quiet yelling as she pointed at the busted light. Her body shook with irritation and it was kind of cute.
"Hey kid." I mumbled as if I hadn't heard a word she just said. "So, is your friend feeling any better?" I asked as she moved her hand to smack me, I caught her wrist and sighed, which sounded like a growl due to the voice modulator.
"What the hell was that for?"
"The guns, asshole! You came into the carry out swinging guns around! Batman doesn't use guns, who the hell do you think you are? You're supposed to be a hero not a punk gangster! How the fuck do you get off dawning that cowl?"
"Easily, I still didn't kill anyone. You act like Bruce never crippled anyone-"
"As a last resort maybe, you just-" she interjected.
"Or that he hasn't made people go crazy, a huge Batman theory is that he creates the crazies he locks away!"
"What are you implying here?" Carrie crossed her arms over her chest.
"Bruce was no saint, I know that better than you ever will, so don't go judging me, Kid" I stared down at her. She just stared right back up at me with the fire of a thousand suns burning deep inside her emerald irises.
"Sorry." she mumbled as she slipped her small hands into the pockets of her coat "You're right about that, you did know him better than I ever got the chance to." her eyes shifted toward the snow covered ground and for a second I thought she'd given up, but her head snapped right back up "And get this through your thick head, boss...nobody is a real saint, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't all try to be."
I smirked beneath my mask. Impressive little bitch. "Noted." I mumbled beneath my breath. Like I needed to take life lessons from a fifteen year old. She probably just hit puberty. "I'll be picking you up after school tomorrow so cancel any plans you have. I want to see the full extent of your training before I go on patrol with you, god forbid you mess up and kill me." Her eyes fell and I realized I'd actually hurt her feelings with my idiotic comment. Once the happiness left her pretty eyes, my lips pressed into a hard line "I'm sorry, Kid."
"... Yeah, see you tomorrow." She whispered, I thought I heard her voice crack as she shifted her hands deeper into her pockets. Snow shifted beneath her feet as she turned around and started trudging back up rusted steps of the fire escape.
"Carrie." I demanded.
"Hm?" She looked back at me over her shoulder.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, please forgive me...I'm such an asshole. "Get to sleep, I want you cohearent tomorrow."
"Sure thing, Boss." she mumbled as she made her way back up to her window and climbed back inside, one leg at a time. As her bedroom window slowly closed, a tuft of white shifted from the window sill and snowflakes feathered across the fire escape landing. I really am an ass.
000
A sigh passed through my lips as my hands lifted my cowl off of my head. In all honesty, though covering my entire face was the smarter more tactical choice, it wasn't the most comfortable and it often left my face covered in sweat. When Wayne manor burned down, the bat cave wasn't entirely destroyed, due to it being deep under ground. Of course we'd have to move everything to a new location in the next few days, before Dick got started on rebuilding.
After tucking my cowl beneath my arm, I moved some debris away from what I knew was the cellar doors. I drew in a deep breath and readied myself. It had been many years since I set foot inside the bat cave.
Everything I'd been through didn't matter at this moment. None of my training, none of my accomplishments, nothing. I couldn't have prepared myself for this. The cave smelled as it always had, I could almost hear Alfred asking how my day went, if Bruce and I were getting along alright. Though Bruce loved his solitude, I was never lonely here. My blue eyes darted from wall to wall, computer screen to computer screen, corner to corner. That was when I stopped dead in my tracks. Right in front of my eyes, was a memorial, placed there in loving memory of the fated second robin. A pain filled my chest and part of me wanted to collapse but I held it in.
"He loved you. Alfred told you, I told you...we all told you, Jason."
I did not turn to face him. "I figured one of you would come stalking me after my first night on the job, to be honest, I thought it'd be Tim." I said nonchalantly as I turned to face my supposed elder. Dick stepped out of the shadows. He must have recently finished patrolling Bludhaven, because he was still wearing his Nightwing get up.
"Good, that saves me the trouble of explaining why I am here, Jason." He stated as he removed the mask he wore around his blue eyes. I could read the irritation in his eyes, I was about to receive a lecture. "If you are going to continue as Batman than you absolutely have to stop using-"
I cut him off "Before you finish that statement, Bruce knew me, my methods, and he still wrote me as his successor, that says something, doesn't it Dick? You're doing something wrong" I smirked.
"Is that right?" Dick mused, a smug smile twisted his lips. "He trusted you? He thought you were so perfect for the job, that your methods were so superior to his own? He gave you a fifteen year old babysitter, Jason." his gaze met mine, he felt pretty good about himself. "You aren't superior, Jason, he gave you someone to call in the real heros if you happened to snap, you're nothing but a body to fill that costume, nothing but a mouth breathing life into a symbol that cannot be allowed to die." His eyes turned to steel and his lips pressed into a hard line as his brows knitted together.
For a moment, my eyes were wide with shock but my expression soon mirrored his. I was pissed. In truth, I hadn't expected him to say the things he said. He caught me off guard. What I hated most was how obvious my emotions were. He knew he'd caught me off guard, and there was nothing I hated more then giving him that satisfaction. No shit I was expecting the babysitter comment, hell, I was thinking of making a dumbass comment about it when Bruce told me that a month ago… but the idea of Bruce sticking me in his suit to keep the idea of Batman alive while his precious Dick Grayson ran the show? Hell, that does sound like him, but still…
If Dick was telling the truth, I had to assume Carrie knew it too. That made me even more irate. The little bitch hated me because she listened to my supposed family run their mouths about me. My anger was about to hit an all time high, all I wanted to do was hurt him. It was like a mental illness that could only be cured if I crushed Dick's skull with the barrel of my magnum.
"Your one and only responsibility is to keep Batman alive, so, shut Jason Todd's idiotic mouth, burry the Red Hood, and put a leash on whatever demons you dragged out of that lazarus pit and do what Bruce wanted you to do, put the fucking guns down and become Batman, and for fucks sake, Jason, do it right." he barked so loud his voice bounced from wall to wall.
The sound of my foot steps carried on the air as I made my way closer to him. "You're all morons, how fucking stupid could Bruce possibly have been? Me? A doll, a puppet to be manipulated? Are you fucking kidding me?" laughter burst from the depths of my throat "That is rich, Grayson, let me remind you of something, one thing you haven't mentioned…" I stopped walking and stood an arms length away from him. "Batman is supposed to do what the police aren't comfortable doing, and I am very comfortable doing what those spineless cowards refuse to, you people gave me the cowl and I'm gonna' wear it however the hell I want."
"Jason, I won't let you destroy everything he stood for, you will not take his symbol and walk all over it!" Dick screamed.
"Destroy it? No, I'm going to breathe new life into it, I'll make it everything Bruce ever wanted it to be before he went soft, a symbol for crooks and crazies to see in their nightmares at night. I don't intend to be the hero and neither did he, Batman was supposed to represent fear itself, somewhere in all the chaos and struggle, Bruce forgot all about his initial intentions. You heros want to make Gotham love you, you want to see your pictures in the paper." I sneered disgusted "I don't care to be loved, I want their fear, I'm going to be the Batman Bruce set out to be and couldn't, I'm going to be the Batman capable of keeping death worshiping sickos like that demented clown hiding in their god forsaken holes where they can't hurt anyone but themselves." As Dick begins to speak, I stop him and grab his collar, and pin him against the cold stone that make helps make up the batcave. "But don't worry, I will follow your candy ass no killing rules, but you forget one thing Dickie-Bird," I growled in his face. He didn't like that which only served to please me more. "Batman calls the shots, so…get out of my face, and don't make me have this fucking conversation a second time." I took three steps back and he stared at me with something strange in his eyes.
"You're sick, Jason." Dick stated slowly as he turned and left.
I stood there, alone. Nothing but the quiet and my thoughts to comfort me as I turned and stared at my reflection in the glass case that made up the memorial to my dead childhood.
"Oh Master Jason, you know that Master Dick is just looking out for you." A very familiar voice echoed from wall to wall, inside my head. I nodded slowly, swallowing the knot in my throat. In that moment, his voice sounded so clear that I turned to see if he was there, part of me longed to see his intelligent eyes and wise old face, but he wasn't there. In fact, I was completely alone. Weird, the cave was never a lonely place in my memories. I guess that was just one more sane part of me painted red. My eyes chased toward where Dick stood just before he left, I retraced his steps in my head and his words echoed in my mind 'You're sick, Jason'
"I know I am…" my voice was a ghost of a whisper.