Red vs. Blue Season 20

Chapter 1: Get the Man his Body

In a boxed canyon drenched in heat, where the Blood Gulch Crew remained station for as long as they can remember calling it home, antics took place. On one side of the canyon was blue base, while on the other was red. Two factions created within an artificial simulation to oppose one another all under the pretense of war through the dubious project Freelancer. However, their true purpose was to help train the freelancers to be better soldiers and fighters. They were expendable to the project. Over time though, they began making a name for themselves. They brought down the project with the help of some freelancers who became a part of their group. They fought against the devious plans of O'Malley, the Director, the forces looking to ravage Chorus for greed, the abandoned people of the New Order and the great terror threat that once came close to bringing ruin to the people of America. They had most certainly at this point made a name for themselves. They suffered great losses, numerous injuries, life changing events which would have broken any lone individual, but not them for they fought together as a family.

In the red base, Sarge, the red team leader sat on a stool with tools in both hands. Lopez stood to the side silently observing his master who was busy wiring the electrical components of a new robot body. Sarge motioned towards the toolkit, a silent sign for his Spanish speaking robot companion. "I need a wrench Lopez."

"[Here, would you like for me to give you a good head massage treatment with it while we are at it?]," asked the robot with a sarcastic tone holding out much hope for a yes. Sarge laughed it off quickly becoming serious again. "Lopez you kidder, just get me the wrench."

"[Right, here you go,]" replied Lopez as he handed it to the red leader. "[Don't hurt yourself with it you stupid old man.]"

"That's nice of you to say Lopez. Now that I look at it, the robot body has come along well hasn't it?"

"[I hate it already. I don't want another robot in this dumb canyon. Otherwise I would have competition for my beautiful Sheila.]"

"I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they see that I can build a robot body in two days like I said I would."

"[They wear helmets, how can you see their faces you dumb old man?]"

"That is a good question Lopez. How do I solve the issue of internal cooling of the parts? Well that's simple my friend."

"[I'm not your friend. I wonder why I'm still here with this retarded unit, someone please end my existence already. Please do it.]"

"I used a simple method of air intake from the vents built subtly on the butt," continued Sarge who pointed to the minor openings. "And from there, there are fans inside that will take the air, cool it and send it to the rest of the body. Then that air exits through the tiny hole in between the buttocks."

Lopez stood speechless at how creepy this new robot was made out to be. He quickly rotated his head to check his backside to find with reassurance that he contained no such alterations. He was built exactly according to the UNSC specifications. Much to his assurance, he was happy knowing he can avoid any embarrassments when he is around Sheila.

Outside of red base, a pink soldier, Donut, stood in front of a small vegetable patch. He hummed a happy tune while watering his little farmer's patch. Grow big my pretties so that you may be ready for consumption in a hearty meal. The medic of the canyon known as Doc, along with his alter ego O'Malley inspected the garden. "Looks to be coming along well Donut."

"That's nice of you to say Doc," clapped Donut in happiness as he sprinkled a bit more water over the potato patch. Doc took a closer look at the carrots and pointed at one nearing the center of the carrot patch. "That one looks especially delicious. What will you be doing with it?"

"Hmm," Donut had put down the watering can to think a moment. "Maybe I will make steamed carrots out of it with some turkey for the upcoming Christmas season."

"That sounds delicious," Doc felt his mouth water at the mere thought of steamed vegetables with turkey for Christmas. O'Malley let out a cackle upon his release from the dark recesses of Doc's mind. "Then we shall gorge ourselves on the flesh of the turkey and its brethrens!"

Donut finished watering the last of the vegetables and stretched his back. He lifted his arms in the air and felt his muscles tighten and loosen much to his pleasure. Speaking of Christmas season, I wonder what the others would like. I guess it will be my first Christmas ever getting them something after a long while. He rested the chin of his helmet in his fingers with a thoughtful sigh.

Inside red base was a solitary maroon soldier named Simmons. He worked on a computer busy staring at a piece of code he wrote while pumped up with caffeine from a night of coffee drinking. His hands jittered on the keyboard as his red eyes scanned each line character by character. Why won't this bloody thing work?! He was quickly becoming frustrated by the compiling errors. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Okay, calm down. I have to look at this by breaking down the problem into many smaller problems. Simmons skimmed the very top error, quickly fixed it, he then went through the list of errors and fixed every one he could find. Damn semicolons, always screwing me up. He compiled the code yet again and much to his irritation, while it worked, it behaved unpredictably. Simmons scratched his helmet and threw his arms up in the air. "Arrgh, I give up. Eta, do you have any ideas as to why this shitty code isn't working?"

His A.I. companion simply shrugged its shoulders upon taking one quick look at the stream of text. Simmons leaned forward with a raised eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to be really smart in these sorts of things?"

Out of fear of disappointing his host with his response, he quickly vanished back into stasis mode. Simmons leaned back smashing his head against the head rest of the chair. "Great, looks like I ended up scaring him. I wonder how long it will be before he decides to speak to me again this time around."

Simmons looked back at the computer monitor and scrolled through the code. He released a self pity laugh. "This is some spot you have found yourself in Simmons. Why did I think to take up this project again? Why was I stupid enough to say that I'm going to pimp out Basebook so that it will be the best social media platform?"

He rested his head in his palms and felt the pressure lessen from the applied force. "I should have just kept my mouth shut to the others about it. Now I will look like a huge jackass if I don't get this done."

"[Ola]," Simmons looked back towards the door where he saw Lopez. The robot walked inside at a brisk pace and noticed the code. He did his best to hold back some laughter. Simmons on the other hand was extremely relieved to see a fellow cyborg being a half one himself. "Good timing Lopez, I could use the help here."

"[What dumb ideas are you executing at the moment?]"

"I can't get this code to work. Can you take a look at it for me?"

Lopez stared at the code for three minutes before having what one could only deduce to be a seizure. "[Such horribly written code with no comments in there, processor cannot handle the incompetence!]"

"I know right, I'm so good with this stuff. So, any ideas on this problem?"

"[Take the computer, unplug it and dunk it in water to end its miserable existence of being forced to work with your code.]"

"Hmm, not sure what you said but good try. How about we try again but in English this time?"

"[Pendajo,]" Lopez left just as quickly as he came for he felt his processor being put at a greater risk. Simmons tilted his head in confusion and shook his shoulders. What's his problem? He turned back to the code and quickly fetched himself another coffee. I guess I need to take a five minute break. I'm just going to be going in circles with this damn thing otherwise.

On the soft and cushy surface of his bed, an orange soldier lied with his eyes shut tight and mind deep in a dream. A loud hard sound echoed through his room originating from the door. His mind still somewhat dazed was brought down to reality. Who could it be at this time of the day? He reached for the edge of the bed and with all his might he lifted himself before hearing the ratcheting sounds of the door handle turn. With a creek, the door swung open and in the frame was a yellow armored soldier. "Hey big bro, I found this cool spot in the canyon, want to go see?"

Grif, the orange soldier wearily sighed at the nuisance threatening his sleeping time. "How the hell would you even find a 'cool' spot in this boring canyon?"

"Hey, don't call it boring. This place is home after all!"

"Yeah, but it's still boring as fuck," Grif loosened his body and felt his muscles relax until they became a floppy mess like jello. He fell to his right on the bed and with a quick motion he turned his back to her. "Don't you have other stuff to be doing, like blue stuff?"

"Nah, Church told me to do whatever I wanted and chill."

"They don't give you work to do?"

"They do, but I guess I was so badass in getting it done so fast that they felt the need to treat me like a badass VIP," Sister crossed her arms, puffed out her chest and smiled arrogantly underneath her helmet. "Looks like I'm not a complete failure after all. Mom would be so proud."

Or more like they just wanted to get rid of you, Grif pondered the thought as he could only imagine the annoyed tone on Church when he found out for himself of her incompetence. Still, that was faster than I was expecting. Man, this Church is more of a savage than the one from before. She inched closer as her boots walked with hard footsteps. Grif's eyebrows twitched in great annoyance as he shoved his head in his arms. Please, no more. Let a man get his rest. She rested a hand on his shoulder and in a rocky motion she shook him violently. "Come on big bro, we gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta go!"

"Just let me sleep in peace," moaned the orange soldier. "Go check out that stinky spot on your own."

"Fine Mr. Grumpy," Sister crossed her arms, and with a sharp turn she walked away all the while mumbling to herself. "I will check out the cool spot all by myself and I'm not going to tell you what I found."

On the opposite end of the canyon, stood a similarly constructed base except with blue outlining on the walls. To the right of the base stood a large towering Mantis class droid in front of Caboose and the ex-freelancer, Iowa. The unexplainably strong blue soldier looked at the droid and slowly smiled underneath his helmet. "Sheila, I spy with my little eye something blue."

"Caboose," she replied with confidence. Caboose nearly gasped at hearing his name, and yet also felt a warm tingly feeling arise in his tightening chest. "Yes, that's correct. Call out my name more please, pretty please!"

Iowa looked at his best friend with an uncomfortable stare as he watched Caboose squirm about in happiness. "Caboose, you are starting to freak me out here."

"Ah, I'm sorry. It's just that I get a little excited whenever Sheila is around you know?"

"I know how to diffuse this awkward situation," Iowa lifted a hand with all five fingers stretched outwards. "Five things you want to do right now. Go!"

"Um…talk to Sheila."

"Okay…one."

"Tell her how much I like her."

"…two."

"And then ask her to go out with me!" Caboose's attention shifted from Iowa to the mechanized lady who looked at the blue soldier silently. "I'm sorry Caboose, but that is never happening."

"Aw come on, why not? Is it Lopez, do you love him that much?"

"He is quite the hunk," Sheila spoke in a boisterous voice shocking Caboose. His world nearly froze over and fell apart at the mega rejection. Iowa suddenly felt the awkwardness levels shoot through the sky and into outer space. I don't think I will ever get used to this creepy romance routine. In the one year I have been here, I have seen some really weird stuff. I'm sure that if Idaho was still alive, he would think the same and maybe laugh it off.

In the cold basement of the blue base where prison cells as well as storage were located, an aqua armored soldier, Tucker, stood with his two companions. The AI that was always seemingly on a rhythmic and soothing fire, Sigma, and the master of memory in the group that once made up the original Epsilon known as Church. Tucker rested a hand on the textured and smooth handle of the prophecy fulfilling, alien made sword. He picked up the object with moderate strength only to hear Church snarl. "What, you plan on switching out your swords?"

"No, I planned on measuring mine against this one to see whose is bigger, bow chicka bow wow!"

"Ah, classic Tucker," reminisced the blue AI as he wrapped his hands on his waist. "The sword is still a damn mystery even after all this time."

"It's not like we would have the equipment to pry this thing open and study anyways."

"Gentlemen, may I ask why you would want to consider such a dangerous set of actions?" inquired the orange flaming one. Church pointed with absolute certainty towards the swords. "If we know what they are made of, we can try and produce more."

"That and if I can get another one of these bad boys, I can be a walking badasss for the ladies!"

"Always with the noble reasons eh Tucker?" asked Church with a rather sarcastic tone. Sigma burst into an explosion of flames beside Tucker's ear piece as he slowly formed an outline, and then with his direct link into the system, he displayed several familiar faces. "I have received a broadcast addressed to everyone in the canyon."

Tucker ran up stairs step by step, and soon found himself before a large computer responsible for generating a great amount of unwelcomed heat in this already hot canyon. An orange haired woman and a pale skinned man sat together on a leather lined couch. Their surroundings were busy with the bustling noises of people and specifically little kids. In both their hands were two small tykes, the products of their love. David waved with a smile stretching one cheek to the other. "Hey guys, it has been a while since we contacted you. I got some good news."

He looked down towards the curious faces of his two children and gently smothered their bald heads. Carolina by his side helped do her best to keep the kids from moving about too much. She held their daughter high up in the air as she squealed happily. Their son tugged at his father's sleeves for the same. David laughed and lifted his son in the air where he also smiled and laughed happily. "As you guys can see, in the one year since our retirement from the UNSC, we have been quite busy parenting these little monsters."

Carolina pinched his ear playfully. "Don't call them monsters."

"Owie, sorry," explained David while rubbing his ear helplessly like a child under punishment. Carolina leaned forward towards the camera. Her beauty was still radiant as ever, if not more so since they last saw her. David looked back to the lens while patting his son's head. "I want you guys to meet these two. This is our son, Leonard and our daughter, Connie."

"The family is expanding," Carolina said while playing with her daughter's tiny and soft hands. Church hovered closer with an arm stretched out towards the monitor as he stared intently at his previous partner. "That it is. That it is sis."

"Speaking of family," David interjected and pointed towards the camera. "You guys need to come down for a vacation here. You won't believe the view we get here sometimes. Business is booming so you can expect some nice accommodations as our guest. Plus, I'm sure Tucker will enjoy the different kinds of views he can get on the beach."

"He knows me so well," Tucker mused with a perverted smirk underneath the helmet. Church laughed at the submission with a quip of his own. "It's nice to see you being honest for once."

"Oh I'm always honest, especially with a good friend of mine."

"Keep those details to yourself bucko," Church immediately shot back holding up his hands in apprehension. Sigma appeared like a spreading wildfire and soon constructed his visual form. "I would be inclined to agree with Epsilon. I for one do not wish to hear any details of that friend of yours."

"But you two are thinking about it," Tucker laughed hysterically. "Looks like I'm not the only pervert around these parts of the canyon."

Tucker continued the video only to be met with a conclusive scene in which David and Carolina made it clear that they wished for their good health and to hopefully experience a reunion. Tucker minimized the video. "We will need to show it to others some time."

"I'm sure they will be happy to see it," Church saved the video to a special folder on the computer before hearing a loud, ear piercing noise echo from the canyon.

"Attention blue-tards, I mean blue solders," it was Sarge. "I would like for you all to gather in the center of the canyon for an important meeting."

Important meeting? Tucker wondered as he stepped outside to see the reds with an extra body in their midst. Church suddenly materialized pixel by pixel to the sound of happiness. "That must be my new body."

"Woohoo, party time!" shouted Caboose as he ran alongside Iowa. "Yeah, party time!"

A/N: We start off in a pretty typical manner for a RvB story. But with this the adventures have finally kicked off. How did you guys find that first chapter to be? I realize its nothing special, but I hope you enjoyed the little tid bits of what happened with Wash and Carolina near the end.

Constructive feedback is always welcomed!

~ Monty