Here we are! I couldn't resist one more chapter of ridiculous airplane moments, so this chapter was born. I promise we'll get to Isla Nublar soon, but first a little more in-flight humour. If you like this story so far and haven't done so already, please check out my other story "Avengers After Ultron"! I've tried to carry over a lot of the writing style, so you might enjoy it. Now on with the show. :)
As the Avengers' plane was flying over Florida, Thor had to use the lavatory. Or at least, Tony said he had to use the lavatory. The billionaire had been bugging Natasha for a solid two hours, and she was doing a surprisingly good job at not losing her mind.
Thor felt bad for Nat, who hadn't really done anything to deserve the torment, so he tried desperately to redirect Tony's attention. He had begun to ask what everything on the plane was, from the buttons overhead to the head-cushions that the fancily dressed people were giving out. Tony explained everything, and seemed to finally have forgotten to bug Natasha.
"What is behind the sliding doors? Everyone seems to like going in there..." Thor asked, gesturing toward the front of the plane.
Tony popped a pretzel in his mouth. "That's the lavatory." He muttered, before grabbing his in flight magazine.
"What is a lavatory?"
Tony proceeded to rip out a page from the magazine quite loudly.
"The place where you do your business, your godliness." He responded, simultaneously folding the magazine page into a complicated paper airplane.
Thor appeared taken aback. "What do they do with...it...after you flush?" he inquired, casting befuddled glances at the lavatory.
"They dump it on the ground below." Tony mumbled, fingering his completed paper airplane.
"That's disgusting!" Thor shouted quite loudly in response.
Several heads turned to regard Tony and Thor, and some even began to whisper to their companions, perhaps recognizing members of the Avengers at last.
Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm kidding! They store it in a tank and pump it out back on the ground, like a port-a-potty."
"That's still disgusting. Especially for the Midgardian who receives the pumping job."
"I think he gets paid a lot, if it helps you sleep at night." Tony muttered, preparing to throw his plane.
Thor sat still, eyebrows furrowed, apparently deep in thought.
"What is a port-a-potty?"
"We're done discussing toilets, thank you very much." Tony replied, before letting the plane go.
Thor watched as the plane barely made it two feet, before being snatched out of the air effortlessly by Black Widow.
Natasha poked her head around the seat. "Thanks, Tony." She whispered with a sly smile, holding up the airplane.
Tony frowned and crossed his arms, knowing he would not be getting his plane back.
Meanwhile, all the talk about toilets and business had made Thor eager to go, so he had Tony get up so that he could visit the infamous lavatory. He proceeded into the tiny bathroom and, after much struggle, figured out how to flush the toilet and use the sink. When he stepped back outside a moment later, a small Midgardian waited outside.
A child, perhaps only a couple years old, regarded him from very far below.
"Thor." She squeaked, holding her arms out to him.
Thor, unsure what to do with such a tiny human, smiled at her awkwardly and looked around for her parents.
"Thor!" she squealed more insistently, before jumping forward to cling resiliently to his leg.
Now Thor frowned, and gently wiggled his leg, attempting to dislodge the child. She held firmly, and giggled at the jarring motion. Thor tried to walk forward, and still she clung on. Many of the surrounding passengers had looked over and begun to awww, at the sight, which was clearly very amusing. However, Thor found it less amusing. He had no idea what to do with this human child that would refuse to let go of his leg.
Thor made his way back to his seat, where Tony was stacking pretzels into a sort of tower. The child released one arm from Thor's leg and grabbed a pretzel from Tony's tower, causing it to come crashing down.
Tony seemed to suddenly realize what Thor had brought back.
"Rude." He stated, glaring at the child.
The little girl laughed. "Thor." She giggled happily.
Tony regarded Thor curiously. "Who's this?"
"I have no idea...she won't let go." Thor muttered, desperately trying to shake the child off once more.
"God, Thor. You can't just go stealing other people's children." Tony stated with a chuckle. He whipped out a phone and snapped a picture.
"What are you doing?" Thor commanded with a frown.
Tony smirked and looked down at the child. "Just keeping a photo record. Jane's going to love this."
Thor grumbled irritably and tried to pull the child off his leg. As soon as he detached her arms, the little girl began to howl, screaming and wailing at the top of her lungs.
"BAD THOR!" she hollered, her face reddened and tear-streaked.
Immediately the other Avengers turned in their seats to see what was going on.
"What the heck did you do, Thor?" Clint yelled over the screaming child's commotion.
Thor held the little girl up in the air at an arm's length. She was thrashing and kicking, and yelling Thor's name angrily.
"I did nothing!" Thor called back confusedly, just as one of the child's kicks socked him in the nose.
Eventually he had to put her back on the ground-she was squirming too much- and the child immediately fell silent and reattached herself to Thor's legs. Thor just stood there, in the plane aisle, unsure what to do about his human child problem. A couple of the flight attendants came by to find out what the fuss was about, and Thor attempted to explain that the little girl belonged to someone else and was wreaking havoc, refusing to leave.
The flight attendants tried to pry her off Thor's legs, but once her wailing started again, they gave up and let her cling. Just when Thor was starting to have thoughts of throwing her out the window, her frantic mother found her way into first class, quite flustered and glad to have located her daughter.
The little girl reluctantly let go, and her mother thanked Thor profusely for 'saving her', to which Thor wondered if the thanking should have been the other way around. All seemed happily resolved, and the mother was about to pick up the girl and carry her back to their seats, when the little she-demon suddenly darted through her mom's legs, sprinting hell-bent for the back of the plane.
The child's mother, flanked by the flight attendants, made to chase the girl down, but their efforts were impeded by a sudden loss of power as the plane was plunged into darkness.
For a moment the only audible sound in the shadowy cabin was the little girl's giggling and occasional mutterings of "Thor!", but then the other passengers came to their senses, and panic and chaos spread through the plane like wildfire. Loki would have loved it.
(Moments earlier) Natasha was relaxed and relieved, having finally been freed from Tony's torment. She reminded herself to thank Thor later, once they finally got off this godforsaken plane.
Natasha let her mind wander for a minute, but was soon distracted by Clint, who was doing something crafty on his tray beside her. Barton had somehow accumulated a dozen plastic stir sticks, and appeared to be crafting them into tiny arrows using chewing gum, napkins, toothpicks, and nail trimmers. He had made three so far, and was quickly turning out more.
"You know, those are gonna get confiscated at customs." She muttered, watching his nimble fingers work.
Clint shrugged. "They'll be gone before then...I'm going to do some target practice."
"On the plane?" Natasha asked, slightly bewildered.
Clint nodded, putting the finishing touches on his last couple mini arrows. A little slingshot made from toothpicks and an elastic lay beside the tiny weapons, waiting for use.
Clint picked up the slingshot, chose an arrow, and notched it, before letting it fly. The little piece of plastic whizzed through the air and lodged itself in some guy's hair a few rows over.
Natasha tried hard to contain her laughter, but Clint took great pleasure in her amusement and had her laughing full-out in no time, by sending arrows into people's drinks and carry-ons.
"Let me try." Natasha muttered, taking the slingshot and a couple arrows.
"Go for her hair." Clint whispered, gesturing to a flight attendant with long locks.
Natasha obliged with a smile, and sent an arrow flying into the attendant's bun, where it stuck, quite unnoticed. Clint and Natasha exploded in restrained laughter. They didn't even notice the commotion of Thor and the little girl until the god of thunder tried to remove her and she screamed.
Clint stopped laughing, wondering what was going on.
"What the heck did you do, Thor?" he called out. Beside him, Natasha wasn't really paying attention, instead she was finding her next target.
"Bet I can hit that No Smoking sign up there by the drink cart." She suggested to Clint, tearing him away from Thor's problems.
Clint laughed. "No way- even I would struggle with that."
Natasha moved her hair out of her eyes and drew back the slingshot, then let go to send the arrow soaring toward its target.
As if in a daze, Natasha saw the arrow drift right, and fly straight into a circuit panel, where it hit a large red button and sent the cabin spiralling into darkness.
"Oops." She whispered to herself as the plane erupted in chaos.
When the plane finally touched down in Costa Rica a couple hours later, the lights had been restored, but there were still many unhappy passengers disembarking.
Wanda vowed she would never fly again- an unfortunate proclamation, since they would be flying home again in a week. Steve was attempting to pull out several plastic arrows that were hopelessly lodged in his hair, but not experiencing much success. Natasha and Clint were trying, (and failing) to hide their guilt about the whole slingshot fiasco. Thor had sustained several bite marks on his legs and was now paranoid that the demonic little girl was lurking around every corner. Really, the only one not bothered at all by their flight was Tony, who was happy to have obtained some excellent photos to show Jane and Pepper, and excited to be only a few hours away from Isla Nublar.