The Road Home

Chapter Two: Trust and the Aftermath

"James…James…"

That was all she kept saying between sobs and Severus was beside himself with what to do now. The only time he had seen a woman cry was when his mother thought no one was looking and he quickly learned that to try to give comfort at that time was indecent. The child was screaming at the top of his lungs, as if he were aware of the circumstances and the gravity of the situation.

Severus had apparated them to the hilltop where he had plead for their lives to Dumbledore. He was afraid to take them back to Spinner's End and he wasn't sure if he would be welcome at Hogwarts. The arrangement he had made with Dumbledore was that he would be a spy for the Order of the Phoenix and remain within the Death Eater ranks. He had effectively made that move completely irrelevant now that Voldemort knew who's side he was fighting for. However, sides didn't matter to him to at the moment. He didn't care if Voldemort wanted him dead or Dumbledore was furious with his hasty decision. Lily was alive, broken but alive.

He took off his cloak and draped it over Lily's shaking shoulders. She was still repeating her husband's name and the baby was still bawling. Severus unbuttoned his top coat and pulled it off, leaving him only in his white shirt. The cold, October wind tore through the cotton with ease, leaving him shivering in a matter of seconds. Pushing the uncomfortable feeling of being cold from his mind, he wrapped the baby up in his top coat and pulled his cloak closed over both mother and son.

"Severus."

He jumped at the sound of his name even though it was whispered. He spun around, wand held out in front of him, ready to attack at the slightest movement. Dumbledore emerged from the shadows, hands raised in a placating manner.

"How do I know it's you?" Severus demanded.

"This is the same spot where you agreed to turn your allegiance over to me. A deal, I see, you've made some alterations to."

He lowered his wand but didn't put it away. Dumbledore came forward, his robes whipping around him wildly as he placed a reassuring hand on Lily's back. "I believe Hogwarts would be the best place for you at the moment."

Lily nodded her head and allowed her former Headmaster to raise her to her feet. Severus backed away from them, unsure of his role now. He didn't want to be separated from Lily at the moment but he wasn't sure how Dumbledore was going to react to the "alterations" he had made.

"Severus, I believe you should accompany us," Dumbledore said without even turning around.

Lily nodded her head. "Yes, he saved us. He needs to come."

"Very well," the Headmaster said before charming a fallen stick into a portkey. They all grabbed a hold and Severus felt the familiar tug at his stomach as it transported them to the school. When they landed, he was pleased to see that they were in the Headmaster's office. The warmth of the fire that was already roaring in the hearth knocked the chill off of Severus' skin.

"Why don't you have a seat, Severus," Dumbledore said, "while I get Lily and little Harry settled in my chambers?"

Severus could tell it wasn't a request nor a question so he took one of the cozy leather chairs nearest to the fire and waited for the older man to return. It wasn't long before Dumbledore reemerged from the room off of the office. The old man's visage looked thunderous and Severus tried not to look him in the face. A sudden shame came over him for his brash actions but then he realized, he had saved Lily and her child. Shouldn't that be worth something?

"What of James?" Dumbledore asked harshly.

Severus stared into the fire. "He was already dead when I got there."

"How convenient for you. You asked me to spare the mother only, to hell with the father and son. You expect me to believe you when you say that James was already dead by the time you got there?"

"Yes, as a matter fact I do. You trusted me to be a spy. Where is that trust now?"

Dumbledore stared down at him with his piercing blue eyes. "Did you come with Voldemort tonight? Is that how you found where they lived?"

Severus stood up from the chair and returned the old man's steady gaze. "I did not go with the Dark Lord tonight. I knew where the house was because I was present when Peter Pettigrew told us the location."

Dumbledore's brow furrowed. "Pettigrew? They used Pettigrew as their secret keeper?"

"Apparently it was Black's idea. He feared he was too obvious a choice and thought he would bluff us by having them change secret keepers to Pettigrew. Pettigrew is the traitor, not Lupin."

Dumbledore turned away from Severus, now deep in thought. "Very interesting. This changes things greatly, I'm afraid."

"How so?"

"First of all, I've lost a very useful spy. No doubt Voldemort saw it was you who apparated Lily and Harry away from him. There's also the problem with the prophecy as well."

"You said yourself that a prophecy only holds sway if someone believes in it."

"Voldemort still believes in it, which means two families must now be placed into hiding for two boys fit the prophecy's requirements. Voldemort will not stop until he finds them both and…"

Severus waited for the old man to continue. Instead, the Headmaster turned around and faced Severus with a hard look in his eye. "Now that you have what you want, how can I know you are trust worthy?"

"I didn't want it like this."

"Didn't you?"

A red rage overtook him and he grabbed the nearest thing to him and hurled it against one of the office's stone walls. It shattered into a thousand pieces. "I love her! Do you think I would willingly cause her pain? I felt no satisfaction at James Potter's death."

Dumbledore's hands came down heavily on Severus' shoulders. "What did you feel then?"

Severus felt his knees give out and he swayed under the combined burden of the truth and Dumbledore's hands. "Remorse. Loss." He took a shuddering breath and felt the last word ripped from his heart. "Failure."

Dumbledore dropped his hands back to his sides and went to stand by the window. "We all failed them, son. We all failed."