Chapter 1 – Goblin ambushes and on-road shenanigans

Two days later, the group found themselves on the road, in the middle of the wilderness. Their wagon, being pulled by two oxes, was not much more than a glorified cart. It had a white cover on the top, shielding the cargo (and passengers) from most of the weather. As not everyone fit in there at the same time, both Nala and Mialee walked beside the vehicle, guarding it and keeping an eye out for trouble. Alatar was in the back with Angelica, temporarily out of sight.

At the driver's seat sat a young man: red-haired, freckled, barely an adult and clearly nervous to be here. His name was Meek, and he had been instructed by Gundrin and Sildar to drive the wagon to Phandalin, allowing the band of hirelings to focus completely on guarding its contents.

Not that they were actually doing that, of course.

'Meek, right?' the pale half-elf said, looking at him with interest from her spot at the front of the wagon. Head cocked slightly, her grey eyes seemed to soak up the pale sunlight. 'Do you transport goods like this often?'

The young man turned slightly red at the attention suddenly turned towards him.

'N-no, m'am. I, eh, I've never actually left the city. B-but I'm pretty good with a sword, I'll have you know!' he added quickly, noticing how that first sentence had sounded. 'I've just never used it… outside the city walls before.'

'You have never been outside?' she reacted. Next to the wagon, Nala listened in to the conversation. When Meek shook his head, a tiny smile appeared on the half-elf's face.

'What a coincidence. I have never been inside.'

Instantly, his face turned beet red. Meek let out a very awkward chuckle, looking anywhere but at the elf.

'Heh… heh-heh-heh… girl.'

'Speaking of which, you haven't introduced yourself yet,' Nala spoke from the side. Her heavy armor was making quite a lot of noise; a heavy clang, clang as deep footsteps were left in the dirt. 'What did you say your name was again?'

The half-elf turned to the Dragonborn, and once again Nala could have sworn she saw her skin glow faintly for just a split second. With a wary expression, the elf looked at Nala.

'I did not.'

'Well, it's about time for that, then. My name is Nala Fennorae- what's yours?'

'Yorda,' the half-elf spoke softly.

'Yorda who?'

'Just Yorda.'

Right. This again. Nala honestly could not decide on what was worse- fabricating a ridiculous last name like Dodecahedron or not coming up with a last name at all. The Dragonborn merely shook her head, dropping the subject.

By now, Mialee had walked closer to the front of the wagon. As there had not been any trouble so far, her bow was still strapped to her back. With a mild interest, she looked up at Yorda.

'You are not a city dweller. Where do you hail from, half-breed?'

Nala immediately picked up on the condescending tone of the elf. So far, the prejudice of elves disliking anything that was not their own race seemed to hold up with Mialee, as well.

With a slightly confused expression, Yorda looked at the brown-haired elf next to her.

'I am not sure what you mean.'

'I have not seen elves of your colour before. Where do you come from? The north? I am from the forests of Tethir. There were not many other elven clans in our territory, and none of them had your appearance.'

Yorda looked at Mialee, frowning. She was silent for a few seconds, after which she replied:

'I… do not know.'

'What do you mean? You can't remember?'

'No. We just never gave it a name.'

'Wait, really?' Nala asked in a confused tone. 'No names? At all?'

'No. I do not think you can name something that changes so strongly from day to day.'

'Heh. Navigating a place like that must be a real nightmare,' they heard Angelica say from the back of the wagon. 'I mean, just imagine.' She put on a rough voice. '"All right, guys, we're going to Mediocre-sized clearing! Turn right at Small Rock, past Tiny Pebble, then all the way to Top Of Small Creek. If you see Big Tree A to your right, you've gone too far."'

That earned her a chuckle from Meek. The young man seemed to ease up a little bit, no longer squeezing the reins of the wagon. Nala smiled as well, looking at him from her position on the ground. Her eyes were drawn to the short sword strapped to his side.

'Say- Meek. How proficient are you with that sword?'

'Yeah, Meek,' Angelica said, suddenly appearing right behind the young man. Her face was inches away from his neck and her fingers quickly ran over the top of his back, tracing the outlines of his spine. 'How proficient are you?'

The effect was instant – poor Meek jumped straight into the air from his seat, dropped the reins and let out a high-pitched, almost girly, scream. He almost fell out of the wagon, actually. Nala brought up her shield at the last second, keeping him from completely toppling over. He climbed back into his seat, freckles sharply contrasting with his now dark purple cheeks, and yelled:

'Don't DO that!'

'Leave the driver alone, Angelica,' Nala lightly scolded. 'You'll make us end up in a ditch somewhere.'

She was not far off with that statement. As Angelica frowned at the Dragonborn with disappointment, Meek suddenly jumped up again. He tugged at the reins, hard. Both oxes pulled to the right. They almost ran over Mialee, who had to make a hard jump to the right in order to keep the beasts from walking over her toes.

'Tiefling!'

'Wasn't me!' Angelica protested angrily.

'Then what is it?!'

Both turned towards Meek, who was looking at a point further down the road. His skin had turned slightly pale. With a shaky finger, he pointed to the road in front of them.
'L-look!'

All looked at where he was pointing. And it instantly became clear what had gotten him so spooked. There, a couple of meters away from the wagon, lay two horses on the sandy trail. Their legs were sprawled out beneath them. Neither of them was moving.
'W…what do you think h-happened?' Meek asked meekly. Nala frowned, reaching for her longsword. In an ominous voice, she answered.

'Nothing good.'

The Paladrin frowned, squinting with her eyes to get a better look at the scene in front of her. But it was too far away. The rays of sunlight falling through the thick canopy cast a dusty filter over the road, making details hard to make out.

'I'll check it out,' Mialee said to her left. She leapt into a sprint, leaving the wagon and the rest of the group behind. Nala watched tensely as the brown-haired elf quickly closed the distance between her and the horses. She came to a halt next to the nearest body and knelt down, closely inspecting the dead horse. Nala saw Mialee pull something that resembled an arrow out of the carcass, holding it against the light. A few seconds of silence went by.

Then everything happened instantly. Nala could hear a faint rustle in the bushes, at the same time that Mialee reflexively jumped up and rolled backwards. A single arrow pierced the sky, coursing straight for the green-eyed elf. It missed by just an inch.
'Eep!'

Nala looked back to see Yorda grab onto Meek and push him off the driver's spot, between the supply crates and into cover. Mialee yelled a single word back at the group.
'Goblins!'

That was not what Nala wanted to hear. She quickly grabbed for her longsword and repeated Mialee's words.

'Goblin attack! Everyone, be careful!'

The second arrow hit Mialee right in the shoulder. It came flying out of nowhere, ripping through the fabric of her elven amour and embedding itself deep into her flesh. Mialee let out a pained scream. She started to move backwards, but not before locking in on the road in front of her. Two small goblins had appeared on the sandy trail, blocking the path. Their sharp, yellow teeth were bared in sinister smiles. Both of them seemed to be wearing a random mashup of armor- Nala could make out leather, heavy metal boots and a fancy scimitar on the same goblin. That could only mean one thing- bandits.

Over at the horse carcasses, Mialee quickly drew her bow and fired at the goblins in front of her. But her aim must have been thrown off by the dodge from before, because the arrow missed its mark. They charged the elf-

And suddenly a bright, pink, sparkly-

Wait, what? The Dragonborn had to do a double take on that. Her eyes were not fooling her- that really was a laser beam. A pink, sparkly laser beam. The Tiefling fired a sparkling laser beam from the palm of her hand, aimed straight at one of the charging goblins. It nailed it right in the head, sending the little creature flying. It fell into the surrounding thicket and vanished from sight. Nala turned to look at Angelica, who was still sitting on the wagon.

'What?' she asked innocently, when she saw the look on Nala's face.

'Nothing. I'm not even going to ask.'

'Watch out!'.

The remaining goblin, its pointy ears flapping on the sides of its head, dashed around the wounded Mialee and charged at Nala. It was wielding a scimitar that was almost too big for its body. With a vicious giggle, the goblin swung its weapon at Nala. Luckily it had bad aim. The scimitar merely bounced off her shield, not doing any real damage. Nala reacted on instinct, pulling her shield away and swinging her longsword at the goblin. It ran right through the tiny creature, like a piece of meat on a skewer. Instantly, the goblin went limp. Nala shook it off her sword, smearing the blade with dark blood.

Mialee came dashing back to the wagon. She was holding her upper arm and breathing heavily. A thin stream of blood trickled down her armour. As she ran past, Nala took her eyes of the thicket in front of her just for a second – and immediately another arrow came flying in, this time aimed at her. With more luck than skill, Nala managed to deflect the projectile with her shield.

'They're hidden in the bushes!' Angelica yelled. She was still sitting on the wagon and her eyes were scanning the tree line nervously. The sides of the road were so overgrown with bushes and other plants that it was incredibly hard to make out anything. This was bad. If they could not see their enemy, they couldn't attack them.

'Aargh!'

The Dragonborn quickly glanced back at the wagon. Yorda had grabbed hold of Mialee, forcefully pulling the goblin arrow out of her shoulder. Mialee let out a scream, but before the wound could really start bleeding, the pale half-elf had placed her palm on the hole and muttered a single word. Her palm glowed brightly for a second. When she removed it from Mialee's shoulder, the wound had completely healed up.

From behind the two, Alatar suddenly came running around the cart. He had his hands up and Nala could see glimmers of blue arcane energy swirling between his fingers. But as the goblins were still hidden in the thicket, the wizard could not find a target for his spell.

'Damn it- if only I had a line of sight!'

'Stay alert! We don't know where they are!'

'Or you could try freezing everything,' Angelica grinned at him from her seat. Another two goblins came running at the group; this time Mialee, who had recovered from her earlier wound, jumped in to intercept their attack. She drew her bow, aimed and nailed one of the goblins right in the chest. Nala brought her shield up to guard against the other one- he slammed against the metal with a soft thud.

Then, from the thicket to the left of them, another arrow flew. It grazed past Nala, only barely missing the Dragonborn's neck and flying for Angelica, instead. The Tiefling was not prepared for that. She was lucky, though- the arrow struck the side of her left upper arm, embedding itself in the wood of the wagon and leaving a large gash in her skin rather than piercing her body outright. For a split second, the Tiefling seemed stunned. She looked down at the gash on her arm.

Then a single vein started pulsating near her temple. It all happened in a split second. Angelica rose up from hear seat and turned towards the bushes where the arrow had come from. Before anyone knew what was going on, the Warlock had launched herself off the wagon and charged off towards the tree line with a wild:

'RAAAAAAAAGH!'

She vanished between the thicket. Nala, Alatar and Mialee all looked on, stunned. For a moment, nothing happened. There was a complete silence. Then another beam of bright pink, sparkling arcane energy shot through the trees into the clearing, burning some of the leaves. That was followed, with a loud thud, by the body of a very dead goblin. There was a gaping hole in its chest.

'Or we could do that,' Mialee nodded, as the dark-haired Tiefling came wading back out of the bushes. 'That works, too.'

But the battle hadn't been won yet. Nala was pretty certain that there was at least one other goblin out there. There had been arrows from two different directions. It had to be nearby. If only this forest wasn't so overgrown-!

'There,' Yorda suddenly said, looking straight ahead. 'On the left. Six steps away from the dead horse, in the bushes.'

'Are you sure?' Mialee asked. Yorda nodded, her eyes locked on that spot.
'Positive.'

Apparently, that was all the confirmation that Mialee needed. Imitating Angelica, the brown-haired elf ran directly into the thicket to their left. She vanished from sight for a few seconds. Then the group heard scuffling, followed by a high-pitched shriek.

Three seconds later, Mialee emerged from the bushes again. Her face was flustered and she was dragging an unconscious goblin by his ankle. Judging by the egg-sized bruise on his temple, Mialee had whacked him right across the skull with the blunt side of one of her blades.

'Looks like that was the last of them.'

Nala let out a breath of relief. They had all made it out alive. That could have gone very wrong, but the group seemed to have luck on their side. Sword still in hand, Nala scanned the tree line for other goblins. But Mialee was right. That had been all of them.
'Meek?' Yorda asked, peeking into the slightly damaged wagon. He was still lying between the supply crates. As soon as he heard his name, however, he quickly sprang back up.
'I-I'm all right! I'm all right!'

Meanwhile, Nala had reached Mialee and the unconscious goblin. The elf took out a piece of rope, and together they tied him up until they were sure that he could not escape anymore. Not that that was likely to happen in the first place. The wound on his head looked nasty. Dark blood trickled out and Nala was sure that if he woke up, he would probably do so with a nasty concussion. They dragged the goblin back to the wagon. But before Nala could toss him to the group, she was stopped by a tug on her sleeve from Mialee.

'We have a problem,' the brown-haired elf spoke softly.

'Why? What is it?'

She gestured at the dead horses behind them.

'I recognize those horses. They belonged to that dwarf and human pair from before. They rode off on them when we went to get the cart.'

'Are you certain?' Nala asked, frowning.

'Definitely. This seems to have been a location for regular ambushes. Gundrin and Sildar probably encountered the same group of goblin bandits that we did… only they were not as lucky.'

'If that's the case, then where are their bodies?' Alatar spoke. He had been listening in to their conversation and walked up to the pair. 'I don't see any human bodies around here.'
'Maybe they hid them,' Nala suggested. 'To keep the element of surprise for the next ambush.'

'But leave the dead horses in plain sight? Not very likely,' Angelica responded. 'No, if they're not dead, they probably took them somewhere.'

By now, everyone but Yorda had gathered around the goblin. She was watching from on top of the wagon, with a nervous Meek once again sitting next to her.

'Well, if anyone knows what happened, it would be this little shit,' Alatar spoke, nudging the unconscious goblin with his foot. Angelica and Mialee nodded.

'Let's wake him up and see what he knows.'

It did not take long for the goblin to wake up. It noticed it was bound almost immediately. With a high-pitched hiss, it struggled against the rope.

'We have some questions for you, little shit,' Alatar said in a threatening tone. The goblin looked at him for a split second, spit on the ground and hissed something back in a sharp, shrieking language. Alatar cursed under his breath and stepped away.

'Damn it. All right, which of you people knows how to speak Goblin?'

'I do, actually,' Mialee responded.

'Really? Where'd you pick that up?' Alatar asked with raised eyebrows. Mialee gave him a single, dark look.

'None of your concern, human.'

The elf ranger stepped past the wizard, who did not seem to be taking her sharp reply well, and moved until she was standing right in front of the bound goblin. In a similar shrieking voice to his own, she asked him a question. The goblin gave her a very foul look in return, refusing to answer. He was fully bound, but his teeth were bared and his eyes sparked defiantly. Mialee asked the question again, with the same result.

Then the brown-haired elf seemed to lose her patience. She bent over and grabbed the scruff of his neck, apparently trying to lift the creature up and intimidate him. It did not go well. The goblin proved to be heavier than she had imagined, or maybe the ranger overestimated her own strength. Nala wasn't sure which of the two it was, but the scene that followed was rather embarrassing. Mialee furiously tried to pull him up. And failed horribly. His goblin butt did not even leave the ground. She tried a second time. And a third, by which point everyone was looking at the situation with awkward looks on their faces. Even the goblin looked a little awkward at her persistent failures.

At that point Nala decided to step in.

'Here. Let me.'

Mialee begrudgingly stepped aside as the Dragonborn took over, reaching for the tiny goblin and instantly pulling him into the air. His feet dangled helplessly as Nala held him by his neck, brought her face right up to his pointy nose and growled threateningly.
'What did you do to the dwarf and the human that came before us?'

It shrieked something in return. Mialee translated the question into goblin, after which a three-way conversation commenced.

'Nothing! Aarumph knows nothing!' the creature snarled in Goblin. Mialee translated and Nala tightened her grip around its neck, making the goblin turn slightly purple.

'Speak, you wretch! Where are they?!'

'Filthy Dragonborn, filthy elf, can't make me, can't make me, can't make me! Aarumph knows nothing!'

At that point, Angelica joined in the conversation. She smiled sweetly at the goblin, making a look of confusion appear on its jagged face. Then she bent forward, getting so close that only the creature could see what she was doing. With the mutter of a single word, her eyes started to change colour. They lit up in a pale, sickly glow, momentarily giving her face the haunting appearance of a dark skull. As the goblin pulled away in horror, Angelica whispered:

'You will tell us what you did with the dwarf and the human, or I will pluck your eyeballs from their sockets. I will eat them right next to you, just close enough so that you can hear yourself getting devoured. And when they are finished, I will tear those bat-like ears off of your skull and skin you alive... If you are still alive by then, at least.'

Never mind that it was not in Goblin tongue – the creature seemed to understand exactly what kind of threat the Tiefling had just made. It started shaking uncontrollably, bending backwards as far as Nala's dragon claws would allow.

'Okay! Okay- Aarumph tells! He tells! Get it away, get it away!'

'The dwarf and the human!' Nala growled. 'What happened to them?!'

'Takes! We takes them! Ambush them like we ambushed you. Chief says kill the horses and the group that comes after, but not the dwarf. Chief says there's a reward for catching the dwarf. Aarumph does what chief Klarg says.'

'Where are they?!' Mialee responded, after quickly translating for the rest of the group.

'And why did you need the dwarf alive?'

'Aarumph doesn't know, Aarumph doesn't know! He just does what chief Klarg says. Good order from Black Spider. Can't say no to good order.'

'Who is the Black Spider?' Nala asked threateningly, while shaking the tiny goblin up and down.
'Nobody knows. Comes in and gives jobs to chief. Jobs from king. Can't say no to good jobs from king. Can't stand these ropes, untie me, untie me, untie me!'

He once again started to struggle against his bindings. His tiny feet swished through the air furiously, trying to kick at Nala's armour. He did not even come close, of course. Compared to the Dragonborn, goblins were really tiny. He did succeed in pissing her off, and Nala tightened her grip on his neck even more.

'Ask him what king he's talking about.'

Mialee did, after which Aarumph shook his head furiously, still in defiance. It only took a single step of Angelica towards the group to make him change his mind.
'No, get it away, get it away! Aarumph tells! Dwarf was taken to King Groll. Goblin king. In Kragmar. Nasty fellow, nastier than Klarg. Aarumph not like him. Always gives nasty looks.'
'And Sildar? The human?' Nala pressed.

'Good meat. Chief Klarg take him back to Eating Cave. Told Aarumph to stay and watch for wagon. Then ambush and take all the crates for food. Travelers are scarce. Need to ambush to get enough food.'

'That sounds suspiciously much like they're going to eat him,' Nala noted, after Mialee was done translating for the group. The brown-haired elf gave a single nod, confirming the goblin's story.

'They are known to be omnivorous. In the truest sense of the word. That includes eating things larger than them, like humans.'

'Well that's a problem,' Angelica pitched in. She had climbed back onto the cart, on Meek's other side, who was once again looking very uncomfortable.

Nala nodded. 'We need to rescue him.'

'Indeed. A dead employer means no money.'

'Oh yes, we wouldn't want to miss out on his money,' Nala said sarcastically. 'Never mind actually saving a person's life.'

The Tiefling shrugged. 'What can I say? I like clear contracts. And saving his life was not part of our deal. If he's still alive, I'll be charging extra.'

Nala felt obliged to speak out in protest, but stopped herself. Clearly this Tiefling did not have much sense of honour or duty. At least she was accepting of the idea to go rescue Sildar in the first place. She could have reacted much worse- taking off into the wilderness with the supply wagon, for example. Nala shook her head, once again turning to the goblin.

'Speak, creature. Where is this Eating Cave?'

'Not far. A short walk, off the path. Very close.'

'Good. You will take us there.'

For a moment, Aarumph looked at them with a confused look on his face. Then the meaning of that sentence got through to his brain and he started to protest furiously.
'No, no, no, no! Aarumph told you. Aarumph told you what you need to know. Now let Aarumph go- untie these ropes, yes? Eating cave very close, you no need guide. No need goblin guide.'

'If we don't need a goblin guide, I can just kill you right here,' Angelica once again threatened. Aarumph shook his head so hard it made his ears flap in his face.
'Okay! Need guide. Need goblin guide. I show you the way. Aarumph show you the way and then you release ropes, yes?'

Slowly, Nala placed Aarumph on the ground. She released her hand from his neck. The goblin breathed a sigh of relief. That look instantly changed to one of horror as Nala handed the end of the rope, which he was still tied to, to Angelica.

'You'll guide us to the cave. Don't try anything, goblin.'

Aarumph nodded furiously. He took a few steps backwards, clearly trying to create as much space between him and Angelica as the rope would allow. Nala turned towards the wagon, where Meek and Yorda were still sitting. Meek seemed to be very unhappy with the current situation. She opened her mouth and addressed the red-haired human directly:

'Sorry, Meek. We'll have to go off the path to save your employers first. There will be more goblins. Don't worry, though -we'll make sure to keep you safe on the way. You have my word.'

The promise of a Dragonborn – and to an even greater extent, the promise of a paladin - was not something to be taken lightly. During her training, Nala had learned that she was to be very careful with giving her word- because she was morally bound to keep that oath at all costs. Some Paladins made it a reason never to promise anything. Nala wasn't like that. She nodded confidently to Meek, who tried to nod back in a sort of nervous, skittish head twitch.

'D-don't worry about me! I c-can take care of m-myself if I have to.'

Nala raised a single eyebrow. From the looks of the rest of the group, the others did not believe him either. Yorda was gazing into the distance, seemingly not interested in the current string of events. Mialee had taken Angelica's place in the wagon. The Tiefling seemed to be having great fun with her goblin-on-a-leash, and was ready to move out. Nala shook her head at the sight and re-took her place guarding the wagon. They were ready to get going.

'Wait.'
Before Meek could resume control of the oxes, Alatar suddenly stepped away from the wagon and towards their captive goblin. His brow was furrowed and he had a strange gleam in his eyes. He cut off the goblin's path, making the group have to halt again.
'I don't think the little shit has told us everything,' Alatar said in a low voice. 'They're crafty bastards- I bet he is still hiding something.'

He took a threatening step towards the goblin. Nala raised her eyebrows in confusion at his words.

'He's already told us the location of their base, where Sildar and Gundrin are and why they ambushed us. What else could he be hiding?'

'I don't know yet. But we'll find out when I break his arm.'

For a split second, Nala was convinced that Alatar was joking. But when he stepped towards the goblin and put out his arm to grab him, it became very apparent that the wizard was being serious. He really intended to break the creature's arm.

Nala instantly jumped in between the two. A moment later she was followed, to her surprise, by Yorda. The tiny half-elf moved right in front of Alatar and put out her arms, shaking her head at the wizard.

'You should not do that.'

'Move aside,' Alatar said, annoyed. She shook her head again, this time accompanied by a growl from Nala.

'The goblin is already cooperating. We are not going to torture him, wizard!' The Dragonborn hissed. She was getting seriously bad vibes from Alatar. Never mind that he wanted to actually break someone's limb - he wanted to do that to an unarmed, restrained creature, that had already agreed to help them. It was senseless violence just for the sake of violence and, being the good type of person she was, it gave Nala the creeps.

What was wrong with this person?

'I think he's still hiding something. We need to know,' Alatar sneered. His hands were still hidden inside of his sleeves and his mage hood, pulled up as far as possible, partly shielded his face from view. There was something strange about the way he looked at Nala. A look of contempt, but also... expectation? The Dragonborn wasn't sure, and it made her very uncomfortable. But she stood firm, ready to deny him again.

But it was Yorda who spoke up first. She once again shook her head at the wizard, pointing at Aarumph.

'He is already wounded. Breaking his arm could send him into shock. We need him awake so he can show us the way.'

Her argument was cold. Logical, without passion. But it came through where Nala's anger did not. Alatar huffed, looking down on the tiny half-elf. He shrugged once and backed off.
'Fine, then. Do as you please.'

He walked back to the other side of the wagon and vanished from sight. Nala frowned at the spot where he had disappeared. Her feelings of distrust towards him had increased greatly. He really had crossed a line, there. And not only him. The Dragonborn found herself wanting to get this job over with quickly. There were too many strange people in this group, and it tired her out. Which was not a good thing to have in a group of total strangers. The sooner they rescued Sildar and Gundrin, the better.

About 10 minutes later

The group was traveling in silence. Angelica was in the front, holding on to the leashed goblin tightly. Nala followed not far behind, with the rest of the group taking a rest inside the wagon. The Dragonborn was in a foul mood. The previous scene with Alatar had left a bad taste in her mouth. If this were to be any indication of how the rest of their adventure would be, she might have to call it quits early or risk an out-all brawl between herself and the wizard. That was not something that she looked forward to.

Unless there was ale involved. Then it might not be that bad.

As the Dragonborn remained deep in thought, Yorda's pale face suddenly appeared in her field of vision. The half-elf had leaned over, inches from falling out of the wagon as she curiously peered at Nala.

'Are you a dragon?'

'What? No,' Nala stammered, confused by the sudden question. It had caught her completely off guard.

'But you have the eyes and head of one. And the scales. Yet you are bipedal. How does that work?'

How does that work? Nala was stunned. Yorda was joking. She had to be. There was no way that she didn't know. Nala's race was not that uncommon. And most people knew that the Dragonborn heritage was not something that you brought up randomly with a bunch of strangers during a wagon ride. But this elf did. Either she was messing with her on purpose, or she truly did not know.

'We hold some dragon blood, yes,' Nala replied. 'It's somewhat of a delicate subject.'

In front of her, she could see Angelica turning her head and snickering. She was enjoying this. Nala was not - but the tiny half-elf did not seem to understand the subtle signals that the Dragonborn was giving her.

'You do? How did that happen?'

It was at that point that Angelica could no longer hold in her laughter. She chuckled loudly and, much to the chagrin of Nala, mingled into the conversation with:
'Well, Yorda, when a dragon and a human love each other very much-'

'Enough!' Nala snapped.

'Aw, I just wanted to teach her how you-'

She was abruptly cut off again. But this time not by Nala. As Angelica set another step forward, not paying attention to the road, something suddenly moved underneath her feet. A short whiff sounded, after which the Angelica was suddenly upside down. She had stepped on a snare trap, which immediately sprang and hoisted her up in the air by the ankle. Before anyone knew what was happening, the Tiefling was swinging upside down in the air, cursing like a sailor. Aarumph got pulled over as well, as she was still holding on to his leash.

'I've got it!' Mialee yelled, eyeing the rope. She ran up to the dangling Tiefling and reached for her bow. When Angelica realized what she was about to do, she started flailing around in panic.

'No- wait, I handle this myself! Stop!'

Too late. Mialee had already drawn and aimed her arrow, letting it fly at the rope... and missing spectacularly because of Angelica's flailing. Instead of slicing through the rope, the arrow embedded itself right into her ankle.

'OWW! ELF! I SAID I COULD HANDLE IT!'

More cursing. Mialee looked slightly apologetic as Angelica reached for her other ankle. She pulled a single, nasty-looking dagger out of her boot and brought it up to the rope that had ensnared her. The Tiefling started sawing through the rope – while almost ten feet up in the air.

'Wait!' Yorda called, jumping off the wagon and running past Nala and Mialee. She reached her at the same time that the Tiefling cut through the last bit of rope. Angelica fell straight down, slammed into Yorda and made them both crash into the ground. The tiny half-elf almost completely vanished underneath the Tiefling as they hit the dirt with a loud thud.

'...ow.'
Angelica slowly got up, her face a mask of frustration and annoyance. Then she noticed the elf underneath her.

'Oh. Um, thanks.'

She awkwardly rolled off of her. Her face twisted into a pained expression. The arrow was still embedded into her ankle, with a few drops of blood starting to drip down. As Angelica shot Mialee a truly murderous expression, on her other side Yorda grabbed hold of her foot, broke off the back part of the arrow and then, without warning, pulled it out.

'OWW! Kdaavh Eiul!'

That was followed by a whole boatload of curses in a language that Nala did not understand. Angelica turned around to Yorda, her anger seemingly switching targets. By then the tiny elf had already placed her palm on the Tiefling's skin. A moment later, her wound was healed.

'...Oh. Thanks.'

Her hand was still wrapped firmly around the leash. The goblin seemed disappointed. No doubt he had been hoping to get away amidst all the confusion. But the Tiefling seemed to have a very strong grip. His droopy green ears were almost comical. That could have been the end of it, if not for Alatar. The scene with the rope trap seemed to be sufficient reason for him to unleash his wrath on the goblin once again. He was next to him within seconds, eyes flashing angrily.

'You little shit! Why didn't you tell us about the trap?!'

He raised his hand high above his head, then swooped down to hit Aarumph- but the goblin was faster. He ducked out of the way. Alatar had not been prepared for that. His swing missed its target. Instead it kept going and made contact with Mialee, who had been standing next to Aarumph. With a loud slap, he struck her right across the face.

'OW! What the hell, wizard?!'

'You shouldn't have been sitting so close!'

'Do that again and you won't be sitting anymore at all!'

Nala just watched the scene and shook her head, rubbing her temples with her fingers.
A bunch of idiots. All of them. And they were stuck with each other for the unforeseen future.

And no ale in sight.

Great.

Today was shaping up to be the worst day ever.