Alec sighed in his sleep, slightly talking to himself. His dark profile looked bright in the waking sunlight. His black hair fell around his face, caressing the smooth skin. Magnus smiled down at his peaceful face; he looked younger, and happier. Magnus gently brushed Alec's hair back, trailing his fingers down his pale neck. Magnus was happy in his own way; Alec loved him at least a little. Alec rolled onto his side, curling up tightly next to the warlock's chest. Magnus adjusted the arm Alec was laying on, and continued to stroke his fine dark mane of hair. The uncovered window let the warm sunlight flow in. Alec's eyes fluttered open, and Magnus hoped he wouldn't move, and he didn't. He just stared at Magnus's chest, his peaceful look now replaced with that of sadness.
"Why do you do that?" Magnus asked a little mad with the shadowhunter. It should have been a pleasant thing that he woke up with someone as picky and gorgeous as Magnus.
"Do what?" Alec looked up into Magnus's cat eyes. They made him nervous, like all cats. Magnus always looked at him with something dangerous, and Alec knew the hazard that lurked in them. If he wasn't careful he would give in like always. Magnus pulled him closer to him, wanting to feel the warmth of him, Alec allowed him to.
"You always look so sad. Even when you're with me," Alec chuckled at that. Of course Magnus would expect his moods to be different around him. Alec leaned on his shoulder.
"I don't always look sad. I'm pretty happy right now." He leaned down, and Magnus connected their lips. Alec let Magnus overpower him, and didn't fight back when the warlock slipped his hands up his loose shirt. His lips trailed hungrily down his neck, and back to Alec's lips. Alec wanted to be happy, and he was sure that Magnus was his way to that. Jace and he would never be together, and he knew Magnus liked him. But Alec couldn't help feeling scared. With Jace there was never anything but the dream of him loving Alec like he wanted, but with Magnus there was everything to be gained, but that could all get lost. And it irritated the younger of the two lovers. It irritated him that he was so affected by the warlock's actions and comments. He constantly felt the want to attack him. And that's what he wanted in return. He wanted Magnus to want him, wanted him to feel powerless and unneeded by anyone other than him, and Jace never made him feel that intense need. He was just something that was always reliable, and Magnus made him experience a new hunger for a kiss, or even a touch.
But Magnus felt it in such a greater force than Alec that it was unbearable to be around the shadowhunter without going a little insane. It was clear that Magnus loved him, and he didn't care how Alec felt now he just knew that they were meant for each other. Magnus spent the time he wasn't working, and wasn't with Alec on finding a way to stop his immortality. He wasn't ready to loose Alec, and he hoped in his heart that Alec didn't want to lose him either.
Alec kissed with a strength that matched Magnus's alacrity. Magnus rolled over, pinning Alec underneath him. Alec moved beneath him, and they fit together perfectly like glitter and two year olds. Alec wrapped his arms around his warlock's neck, breaking away from his mouth and staring into those beautiful cat eyes. They were more like Church's eyes, hard and playful, like marbles that wouldn't allow him to see into the forbidden territory of his mind.
"You're happy here with me then?" There it was, the slight accent that made Alec smile. He loved that, and Alec realized he was using the word love way more than he ever had.
"I'm happy everywhere with you." Alec's night of emotional turmoil made him so much more willing to share his feelings. Magnus gave a half smile, and raised his eyebrows.
"Really," he dragged it out, "then I guess it's alright for us to go public." Alec sighed. That suggestion of Magnus's always made him nervous. He was too afraid to tell anyone, other than Izzy, about his being gay. He didn't know how his mother would think of him, how would the Clave think of him? It was a terrifying thing that Alec didn't want to think about right now.
"Magnus-" he sighed, his eyebrows furrowing, but he was cut off.
"It's fine. Forget I said anything," Magnus sat up abruptly, leaving Alec cold, "I'm going to go make breakfast, want anything?" Alec knew Magnus was mad. He didn't have to make breakfast, he could snap and the world would be at his feet. Alec looked at his own hand for a long time before he ran his fingers through his hair.
"Don't be mad." He said in a tone Magnus had never heard before. Magnus sighed, but left the room at a quick pace, and soon the house was filled with the warm smell of coffee. Alec sighed, breathing in the smell of laundry detergent and Magnus. Alec knew he had to figure them out, he had to find someone to make him happy. Maybe I have to make myself happy before someone else can make me happy…