CARRY ON WAYWARD ROAD

BACK TO THE BEGINNING

CHAPTER 2

Dean stood outside their family home. He was only a 4 year old little boy, but he was tough, he was a big boy. He was as tough and big as his daddy. He held his baby brother in his arms. It was a cold night.

He had him bundled up in a warm blanket, he knew how to take care of his baby brother. His mom had taught him, Dean insisted that he knew everything about how to take care of his brother. He was the big brother after all, and it was his job to make sure he was taken care of.

The flames were bright, it lit up the night sky. He wanted his daddy. He wanted his mommy. He had never felt so confused. He didn't know what his mom was doing on the ceiling, or how she had gotten there. He had tried, but could never seem to climb the walls high enough to make it before he fell.

His mom must be like Spider-man with wall climbing powers. Was Dad going to be like Batman and save his mom from the bad guy?

Suddenly his dad's big, strong arms lifted him up as he held tight onto his baby brother and swiftly turned and ran away from their home as a loud boom rang out.

That made Baby Sammy start crying. Dean didn't want his brother to cry. He had to take care of him, make him stop crying, but he couldn't. He couldn't because he was too scared to be able to do anything.

He didn't know what was going on. He didn't see his mommy anywhere. He wanted to ask his dad if he had saved her, or if she finished climbing the walls and was waiting for them on the roof, but Sammy's crying was so loud, and now there were sirens too.

John took Sam from Dean's arms, assuring him that it was okay when little Dean was hesitant to let him go. Dad got Sammy to stop crying. But, the sirens were all so loud, and all the lights that were flashing was brighter than the flames.

People were running everywhere, the firemen had hoses running to the house, trying to stop the flames. The ambulance people seemed nice but wouldn't stop asking them if they were okay. John had some small burns where he had tried to save Mary.

He handed Sam back to Dean while they put some cream and bandages on John's arm. Dean watched, it looked like it hurt. Sam had started crying again. Once they were finished, John took him back, quieting the baby once more.

Dean stayed close to his dad. They sat on the trunk of his dad's car. Dean was wide eyed, watching everything that was going on as fear raised in him.

He heard his dad and a cop talking. He still didn't see his mom anywhere. He was looking for her, expecting her to come and comfort him. She always knew what he was feeling, even when he didn't want anyone to know.

He was a good pretender, and always pretended to be happy, but sometimes he wasn't and his mom always knew when he was or wasn't. But, the best thing was, his mom always knew how to fix him. She always seemed to know exactly what he needed to feel better.

When he was sick, she knew exactly how to make him better, when he was scared she could calm his fears. If he got hurt, she had healing powers, but, best of all, she knew exactly how to get him to fall asleep, even if he wasn't sleepy. So, where was she? His heart hurt and he was scared, he needed her to fix it. He needed her healing powers.

"I wasn't able to save her."

Dean heard his dad tell the cop as he started to cry. What did he mean he wasn't able to save her? Had she saved herself?

"I'm sorry Mr. Winchester, at least you and your boys got out alive."

Alive? What did he mean by alive? Of course, they were alive. They were all alive. Why would he even think they weren't?

"I… I don't know what happened. I heard the baby crying and went to check on him and then there was this fire that started. The commotion woke my oldest boy, I was able to grab the baby and hand him to my oldest, telling him to get out of the house, but my wife, Mary, she was trapped. I tried, but I couldn't get to her. I couldn't save her." John had tears streaming down his face.

Trapped? Trapped? His mom was trapped? He couldn't get to her? Couldn't save her? Where was his mom? All he wanted at that moment was his mommy. All he needed was his mommy. He didn't understand, the firemen were going to get her out, right? They would help her, they would get her un-trapped. That's what they did, they saved people from fires. They made them not be trapped anymore.

"Mr. Winchester, I just want you to be prepared, when your wife's body is located, there probably won't be much left of it, nothing for you to be able to see. That fire is really hot, they may not find a body at all."

Body? Find? What? What did he mean there would be nothing left? Where would she be? Why wouldn't he be able to see his mom? He needed her to hug him, needed her to hold him, to let him know everything would be okay. And Sammy. Who would take care of him? He needed their mom too.

Once the fire was out, John put Sammy in his car seat and buckled him in the car. He told Dean they would be staying at a motel that night. He wasn't exactly sure what a motel was, but it sounded fun.

He instructed him to stay with his baby brother, that he was going to go get somethings out of the house, but it wasn't safe for Dean or Sam to go inside. Good! Dean thought, he was going back inside to get Mom, she would probably like staying at the motel too.

He wasn't sure if she had ever been to this place his dad told him about. It sounded like it would be like a sleep over. They all get to share a room and there's a tv there too!

Dean waited patiently for his mom and dad to return. Sam was asleep in his car seat. Dean figured he was tired from all the activity that took place earlier in the evening. He heard the trunk open, and his dad put some belongings in there then closed it. After a quick conversation with someone who was outside, maybe a cop, or fireman, or even his mom, his dad sat behind the wheel in the driver's seat.

Dean waited patiently for his mom to sit in her seat beside his dad. But, instead, his dad started the engine and drove away. Dean sat wide eyed. Looking out the window at the house, he didn't see his mom anywhere. Was she with one of the cops, or maybe she decided to stay and check out the firetruck. But, why wouldn't she be leaving with them?

Then Dean remembered the cop telling his dad they wouldn't be able to see her. Did she have powers that made her invisible too? Wow! He had the coolest mom ever!

It didn't take them long to reach the motel. His dad told him to stay in the car and watch Sammy as he went inside and talked to someone standing behind a desk, like a cashier or something like that. Then his dad returned, and drove them around the building, parking the car and told Dean this is where they would be staying.

Dean, got out, being as big as his dad was, he helped carry the bags inside while John got Sam out of the car, once inside, John returned to the car for the rest of the items. Sam stayed in the car seat until his dad returned.

Once everything was set up he asked Dean to make him a bottle. John had never really made one before but he knew Dean had. He took Sammy out of the car seat and fed him the bottle that Dean had made, then changing his diaper he laid him in the pack-n-play he had brought from the house, it didn't take long for the little one to close his eyes and go back to sleep.

Dean sat on the edge of the bed furthest from the door. He was scared. He wondered when his mom was going to come. He figured he would wait up till she got there.

"Dean, you need to go to sleep!"

John sounded angry. Dean wasn't used to the tone he used. He figured it was because he was just tired, so Dean crawled under the covers, laying his head on the pillow, he was convinced he was going to stay awake till his mom got there.

"FINE! If you're not going to close your eyes and go to sleep, then you watch your brother. I'll be back later." John said as he stood, grabbed the car keys and opened the door. Turning to his oldest son before stepping out, "I have a key, don't open the door for anyone." His dad added, then closed the door behind him.

Dean wondered if Mom had a key too. He hoped so, since he wasn't allowed to open the door. He figured maybe that's where Dad had gone, maybe he went back to the house to get Mom.

This place wasn't nearly as exciting as he thought it would be. If this is what sleep overs were like, then he didn't ever want to go to one. This was scary. He was all alone, well Sammy was there, but there wasn't anyone older. His mom and dad were both gone and they hadn't left a babysitter. What if Sammy woke up? He guessed he'd have to take care of him if that happened. But maybe Mom would be back before he woke? Dean had hoped so.

He didn't remember falling asleep. But he got woken up by a loud noise. He was instantly scared, it even woke Sammy, he started crying. Dean looked around the room but the only person he saw was his dad. Mom wasn't there yet. He wondered where she was, what was taking so long.

"Shut that kid up!" John slurred at Dean.

Dean jumped up and grabbed his brother out of his bed and held him close, trying to comfort him, trying to let his presence tell his baby brother that everything was okay.

His dad was walking funny. He kept bumping into things and was doing this funny thing with his arms while he walked to the bathroom. Dean laid Sam back down once his crying quieted and made him another bottle.

He was still scared. He was scared of the way his daddy was acting and he was scared because his mommy wasn't there to fix this. She wasn't taking his fear away. He picked up Sam, laying him in bed beside him, and started feeding him his bottle. His dad made it back from the bathroom and sat, hard, on his bed, sitting across from where Dean was feeding Sam.

"Your mom isn't coming back, you know that, right?"

John's words only confused Dean. Why wouldn't she be coming back? Had he done something wrong? Did she not love him anymore? He tried to be a good boy, he really did.

"She burned up, in the fire. They can't even find much of her burned up body. She's nothing but a damn pile of ashes."

John spit the words out. His tone filled with anger. Dean's thoughts must have been showing on his face, his confusion evident.

"She's dead! YOUR MOTHER IS DEAD!"

John yelled, causing Sam to start crying again and Dean to jump.

Dead? Not coming back? No body found? Dead?

"She's fucking dead, Dean! Do you understand me? Do you know what that means? It means you'll never see her again. She is no longer here, she's no longer your mom. So just forget about her, she's done, finished. No longer exists."

All Dean wanted to do was cry. But he couldn't, he was a big boy, and he had to take care of his baby brother, he had gotten him to stop crying. Only babies cried! Dean just sat on his bed, quietly, holding his sleeping brother.

John laid on his bed and it didn't take long for Dean to start hearing his dad's snores. He knew it would be safe to move. He wasn't sure why, but he was scared of his dad. He had never seen him act this way before. When he started yelling, Dean was too scared to even move. Once his dad was asleep, he placed his sleeping brother back in his bed and laid back down.

He curled himself up in the covers, all he wanted was to feel his mom's arms wrapped around him. But, Dad had said she was no longer his mom. He said she didn't exist anymore, that he had to forget about her. He didn't think he could do that. He didn't think he could forget her. He loved her too much.

'maybe if I try harder, maybe if I'm an extra good boy, she'll come back' Dean thought to himself. He was determined to get her back. He was sure if he was extra good then she would love him again and be his mom again.

He had made up his mind, he would be extra good, doing anything Daddy asked him to do, he would make sure Sammy was taken care of extra good and help out anyway he could. He would be brave when Daddy left him alone, like he did earlier. And, he wouldn't cry! That would get her back, that would give him and Sammy back their Mommy for sure.

He closed his little eyes, satisfied that he would be able to get his mom back. He wasn't sure where she had gone, but she couldn't be too far away, she probably just stayed at the house while him and Dad and Sam came to stay here. Probably because Sammy didn't have a room anymore, that's why he had to come here. Darkness quickly filled his little mind as sleep took over.

He didn't sleep well. The sound of all the cars driving down the road kept waking him up, and his daddy's snoring just got louder and louder. He was worried about his brother. He was afraid he would wake up crying and he wouldn't hear him if he was asleep.

Dean spent most of the night awake, dozing off every now and again. But, as hard as he tried, he couldn't make himself forget about his mom, or forget what he saw, her spider-man powers holding her to the ceiling, the flames that burst out of nowhere, causing his brother's room to burn.

He didn't want to sleep anyhow, he didn't want to close his eyes, when he did, that's all he could see. His mom didn't look happy. She looked scared, she looked hurt. Again, he wanted to cry, but crying wouldn't get his mom back, so, he sucked in a lung full of air and toughened up, being the big boy he knew he could be.