"If you wanted to kiss me so bad, you could have just asked."

"Oh, and ruin the surprise?" He asked with a cock of his eyebrow. Nick lifted his head and their mouths met easily. The mercenary's fingers curled around his collar, and he pulled him in with a deliberate tug. His own fingers cascaded up the side of Kellogg's neck, catching somewhere just under the back of his head. Nick's mouth fell open when his arm pressed to the detective's back, palm side down just under his coat. The merc's fingers closed around his side, and Nick cast a quick look down at their feet, noting the way Kellogg was standing. He worked a knee between Nick's thighs, and the detective leaned back against the wall.

"Well, shit, I never thought I'd say anything like this but I honestly could get used to this."

"Mmhm. Ain't that what I said?" Kellogg pressed in closer, and the detective's fingers caught just under his rough face, mouths fitting together easily.

"Sure, sure.." He mumbled, distracted by the overwhelming heat of him shoved so close.

He surveyed Nick's expression for a moment before chucking his fingers under his chin and lifting his face. "Hm."

"What?" Nick took hold of his wrist. "You like staring at me so much, you should take a picture."

He chuckled dryly under his breath and shook his head. "And get chewed out for wasting my film on some old-timey detective, all gray haired and angry."

Nick frowned, knowing he was making fun of him.

"I like it." Kellogg's voice was softer, threading fingers through his hair. He paused and was curling a strand around his finger, running his thumb along the dark piece of hair.

"Of course you do." He spit, face feeling hot at his closeness. Kellogg's jaw tensed for a second. "You love me, don't you?"

"Do you feel the same way about me?"

"Can't say I do, can't say I don't."

Kellogg scoffed, forcing his gaze away. "That's a coward's answer. Didn't take you for one of those."

Nick fell quiet, unable to bring himself to look up. "What do you want me to say?"

"You know what I wanna hear."

"Doesn't mean I'll say it if it's not the truth."

"Who is to say it's not the truth?" Kellogg pressed the question, "You can't lie to yourself more than you lie to me."

Nick held his tongue, before sighing. "I hate to break this up but we need to be going. Ellie managed to get in contact with next of kin for the girl. We're meeting them when they get into town."

Kellogg scoffed. "How do you know they won't sell her off again?"

"Ellie's a better judge of character than I am." Nick answered, extricating himself from Kellogg's grip with some difficulty.

"So the answer is no." Kellogg's hands dropped from his sides.

"One of Dr. Amari's contacts found her family, from what I understand."

"Even better." Kellogg muttered, rolling his eyes.

As far as looks went, the woman that called herself the girl's aunt didn't seem to be anything close to a raider. Nick guessed that meant she passed whatever inspection Kellogg was holding.

"She's safe with them." Nick called quietly, noting the way he was staring into the middle distance. "She'll be happy too."

Kellogg shifted on his feet, not paying him any mind. It was as if he weren't even listening up until Kellogg opened his mouth to speak; "Better here than with us, huh?"

Nick turned to look at him, confusion growing. "I thought you wanted to keep her."

He opened his mouth to speak but let it close again without uttering a word before sighing. "You proved your point. She'd be better off with a family instead of two old bastards like us."

Nick crossed the small space between them, the worn palm of his hand coming up to touch the edge of the merc's jaw. Kellogg didn't react besides the way his eyelids fluttered closed. "If you're trying to tell me you're sorry, don't waste your breath."

Nick let his hand drop. "I wasn't going to."

"Another lie, Nicky?" His gaze found Nick's and the detective froze for a moment before Kellogg touched his face with his own hand. "There's nothing for you to apologize for. Everything was done by the books, and we all got our happy ending."

"You owe me a date." Nick spoke after some deliberation.

"Oh, do I?" The corner of Kellogg's mouth twitched up like a smirk, and the detective struggled to keep a straight face in response. "The Third Rail was your suggestion, wasn't it?"

"It was yours ." Nick pressed his lips together, trying hard not to smile. It still showed in how the corners of his eyes crinkled, and Kellogg had no problem in figuring that out.

"You say that like its a bad thing."

"Might be. The jury's still out on that one."

"Mmhm." Kellogg quietly agreed. "Afraid somebody might jump you out here?"

"With you around? I doubt it."

Kellogg laughed and Nick ducked his head, his laugh infectious.

"I thought you'd notice, Val, but I guess some things slip your mind."

"Notice what?"

"Alana was a synth, wasn't she?"

"No. Not a chance."

"You can't be serious. The woman that picked her up stunk of the Railroad. Your doctor friend is part of that stupid organization. Don't play dumb."

"Ellie wouldn't have organized a pick up in the middle of the city."

"She would when she's fucking an agent. I'm telling you the girl was a synth. You got me to be an accomplice to your little synth rescue operation. I can't fucking believe the balls on your friend." He laughed again, covering his eyes as he fell back against the wall. "Does she know who I am ?"

"You're not on the Institute's payroll any more. That's the one thing that kept you hunting down strays." Nick added, watching his expression.

"They have coursers for synth retention, I never got my hands dirty with runaways like that." He was still chuckling, the last vestiges of his laughter eking out from behind his hands.

"Of course not." Nick leaned his hip against the wall. "You just pull off dangerous baby heists."

He scoffed, scrubbing at his face with the heel of his hand. "Humans are easy to deal with. They're easier to destroy."

"Funny." Nick didn't bother looking back at him. "You think they might send someone after her?"

"I don't think so. What kind of pervert builds a little girl and then sells her to the highest bidder?"

"Is that what you think happened?"

"What I think happened was this -" Kellogg took a steady breath and looked Nick full in the face. "Somebody made her, I don't know why, but I don't like any of the reasons I could come up with, and she somehow managed to get onto the surface, with memories of a family selling her to some slaver. Whether that was because whoever made her wanted it to happen or not, I can't fathom a reason why, but…" His voice trailed off, and he looked to be in deep thought. "I could be wrong though. None of the reasons fit. Why would someone set this up?"

Nick worried his lip, gold gaze alighting across Kellogg's tense expression. "You find it suspicious."

"You don't?" Kellogg turned to look at him. Nick didn't want to admit thinking about it left a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"I think a drink or two might help."

"I think more than just two."

"It still bothers you, doesn't it?" Nick lifted the glass to his lips, regarding him over the rim of it. "That some stranger took her in, a stranger that might be part of the group that your former employer is desperate to stop?"

Kellogg swallowed hard, and set down his shot glass. "Sounds like it's bugging you."

Nick closed his mouth, working his lips. "I won't deny it might stick with me a little while, but you saw it yourself. She's gonna be alright."

"Yeah." He tapped his dull nails on the table. "Still I'm not convinced."

"What'll it take for you to accept it?" He regarded the merc coolly, watching Kellogg's grip on the table's edge tighten.

"I don't know."

"Listen. Around this time next year we'll go see her again. A quick little check-up to ease your mind."

His mouth twisted but remained silent. Nick knew what he was thinking: That wouldn't be possible if she were a synth.

"You don't have to agree. It wasn't a question." Nick turned his gaze back to his drink. "If I, if we didn't do this, check up on her now and again, I don't know if I could let myself get away with it."

"So your own damn guilty conscience rules again."

"You're not fooling anyone with that." Nick added wearily. "You have as much a guilty conscience as I do."

Kellogg looked at him for a moment before letting out a tight lipped sigh. "It's what makes people like us stick together."

"I'd blame something else for us, but you're entitled to your opinion." Charlie topped off Nick's drink and he tipped it to his lips deliberately.

"Are you drinking to celebrate or to forget? "

That got him to pause and put his drink down. "Its not forgetting if it's just for tonight."

"And just for tonight turns into every night." Kellogg added in a pointed tone. "I would know, I lived it."

Nick gave a dismissive sound and downed his drink.

Kellogg looked him over above the rim of his glass. "Easy on the drinking, pal. I'm not lugging your drunk ass home."

" Pal ." Nick mused, setting the cup down harder than necessary. "There's always the Hotel across the street if it comes down to it."

"Do you know how that would look?" Kellogg leaned in conspiratorially. "I can see it now. Your lady friend will get a nice message from the doc telling her all about how the big bad Institute mercenary took advantage of poor Nick Valentine, too drunk to stand on his own."

"She wouldn't." Nick knew he was joking. "It isn't as if she didn't figure out our intentions tonight."

"What did she do? Send you out with a slap on the ass sayin', "Go get 'em"?" His elbow leaned against the table, a wicked grin cutting across Kellogg's lips.

"No. It's just, Ellie's still an adult . She can guess what'll happen."

"Of course." Kellogg answered with a smirk. "Is that a suggestion or an order?"

Nick glanced to his drink, and wet his lips with the tip of his tongue. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

The merc didn't bother with a response, instead just shaking his head with a scoff.

"Finish your drink." Nick nodded toward his glass, "We have a case to handle."

"Isn't it a little dangerous taking something on when you're barely sober?"

"I'll live."

"What was the case?" Kellogg asked as soon as Nick had the door locked, and he leaned his back against it.

"Getting back an owed favor." Nick was drawing his coat off his shoulders, setting it across the edge of the bed. "Told the hostess there'd be a stakeout here."

"Did you lie? " Kellogg laughed, incredulous.

"No. There is something to be seen, but the courier isn't supposed to be in until tomorrow morning."

"A little fib then." Kellogg cocked his hip against the footboard of the bed.

"Won't hurt anybody." Nick sank down onto the mattress.

"I'm shocked." Kellogg took gentle hold of Nick's thighs, parting them easily and working in between them. The detective leaned back, hands spread behind him on the bed. "Appalled really. The goody two shoes detective telling a little bitty lie to get some privacy." He gave Nick a breathless grin and crushed Nick's mouth to his own.

He rose up toward Kellogg, knees hooking around his legs. "The walls are still too thin for my liking here."

"Since when do you care if other people hear you."

His face colored. "Since always. I hate knowing people know about us."

"A little late for that." He teased, letting Nick pull him down on top of him. Kellogg's mouth traced just under his chin, and he dragged his fingers along the merc's back. Kellogg worked a hand under the waistband of his belt, tearing his shirt out from being tucked in.

Nick lifted his face, their mouths fitting together. His fingertips scored through the sloppy shorn hair that covered the side of Kellogg's face. "Was this your plan to get my guard down with sweet talk and kisses?"

He gave him a little pinch, running his rough fingers along the smooth line of Nick's hip. Nick jerked, but didn't make a sound. Kellogg grabbed hold of his trousers, easing them down one inch at a time.

Nick arched his hips, letting him drag his trousers off.

"Is it working?"

"Give me a few minutes to decide."

Kellogg laughed and mouthed down his chest, passing down closer to his cock. Nick sank his teeth into his lip, as he bit back a groan.

"Maybe I can persuade you a little more."

"You can try."

"You just want me to try , don't you?" His hot breath passed over Nick's erection, and his thighs tensed when Kellogg's fingers followed. "How's this for persuasion."

"I think I'd prefer it if you had your mouth full."

"Vulgar words, Nick." Kellogg squeezed his cock and the response Nick let out was pitiful.

"It's a little difficult making a witty response when your hands are on me."

"Sounds like a challenge." Kellogg gave him a wicked grin and took him into his mouth. Nick let out a groan that seemed to come from deep in his chest. The merc's eyes narrowed, and he squeezed Nick's hips hard enough to send Nick gasping, clawing at his shoulders. There was a throaty little laugh that he let out, before Nick gave him a withered little glare. His leg hooked at the crux of Kellogg's neck, dragging him closer. Kellogg cast a quick glance up the length of his body, and Nick couldn't help but shiver when their eyes met.

"What are you getting at here?" Nick's head fell against the pillow and he could barely manage to get the words out.

"You tell me. That is, if you can even say anything." Kellogg smoothed his palm along the flushed head of his cock, squeezing and rolling his hand over the heated flesh.

" Damn it ," Nick breathed, covering his mouth and letting out a sharp sound.

Nick was flushed, breathless and sated. He glanced toward the mercenary, whose shoulder he had nestled his cheek against. Kellogg let out a huff, knuckles scraping slow down his cheek. "Times like this you remind me of somebody I used to know."

"You keep saying that. But who?"

"Just an old friend from the Institute. You wouldn't know him."

"Of course." Nick let his gaze slide away from Kellogg's, voice failing him. "What was his name?"

"Pendleton, I think."

Nick closed his eyes, wearily. "Like Nora."

"Yeah. Some coincidence, right?" Kellogg lied through his teeth. "Had dark hair like yours," he ran his fingers through the wispy pieces of hair along Nick's sideburns. "From what I remember, felt like this too. Had green eyes though."

"I'm flattered." He deadpanned, feeling Kellogg's fingers drop from his hair. "Must have been someone special."

Kellogg let out a dismissive sound through his teeth, chest clenching a little. "About as special as anyone else in the Institute."

"That is to say, not at all?" Nick ventured quietly, noting his reaction.

"Not at all." Kellogg echoed, gaze following the line of Nick's expression. "Just made me think of it when I looked at you."

Nick gave a monosyllabic noncommittal sound in response. "Maybe it was someone descended from the real Nick."

"Thought your girl died before you got the chance to have any kids with her."

"She did." Nick responded, feeling hollow. "But it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Things have a funny way of turning out how you never could have planned."

Kellogg's brow furrowed. "Lemme guess, there was someone else."

He let out a shaky sound. "No."

The merc stopped, taking a good look at Nick's eyes. "You don't have to tell me."

"I might as well. Even if it was a long long time ago, I can still remember it, as if it were only a day ago, as if it happened to me and not the original Nick." He let out a sigh, and covered his face with his hands. "I had a son. I don't know what happened to him once the bombs dropped, but last I heard he was adopted by some well to do couple only a few hours after he was born."

"Fancy." Kellogg remarked, and Nick gave him a look before continuing.

"That's my biggest secret. And you know more than really anyone else."

"Should I thank you for trusting me?" Kellogg smoothed his fingertips along the back of Nick's hand.

"That depends on whether or not you won't judge me for letting someone else have the baby."

"Do I look like the kind of person that would do that?"

Nick fell silent. "I'm sure it's all in my file anyway."

Kellogg fell quiet as well. He knew there was something else he wasn't telling him, the same way he wasn't going to tell Nick it had been the current acting director of the institute he'd been fucking.

Nick knew Kellogg was hiding something, but he knew if he pried, Kellogg would end up hearing more than he bargained for too.

He let out a sigh, and murmured: "Just what someone like me deserved. The woman I loved was dead and the man who killed her had me metaphorically backed into a corner after physically backing me into that same corner."

Kellogg settled against him, listening. "He hurt you, didn't he?"

Nick flinched: " Yes . The kind of hurt that lasts and lasts long after everything ended."

"You don't want my apology." Kellogg let Nick turn away from him, arms drawn up close to his chest. "I'm not going to bother to offer it when you'll just turn it down." He wrapped his arms around Nick's chest, pulling his back against his own chest. "You didn't deserve it, what happened to you." He spoke right in Nick's ear, and he let out a full body tremble.

"What that son of a bitch Winter did to you was something I would have shot him for."

Nick's expression twisted but he let out a grim laugh anyway. "You might get your chance if we come across him." He knew now, that Kellogg knew it all. Kellogg had read his medical records. It was a cold feeling that settled in his chest at the knowledge the mercenary knew everything there was to know about him.

"I'll let you get your revenge some other time." Kellogg answered, pushing out of his mind the thought that perhaps Nick should know what things his only child had accomplished.

"Thank you." He muttered, covering Kellogg's arms with his own. "I don't think Ellie even knows about this. I don't want her to know."

"I won't tell her." Kellogg pressed his mouth to Nick's shoulder. "Did you ever find out the name of the people that ended up caring for your kid?"

"I'm sure they died years ago." Nick responded.

"Well, you're half right." Kellogg muttered to himself and Nick fixed him with a confused look, sure he heard him wrong. "Some coincidence." He added in a quiet voice. "Maybe that's why I fell for you so easily."

"Are you telling me this because you're drunk or because you have someone to listen?" Nick lay his head on Kellogg's shoulder.

"I could ask you the same thing. Did you just wait for years until someone was out there who would listen to you talk about this?"

Nick didn't speak. He just let his grip tighten on the frayed edge of the mattress. "I'm drunk enough not to care about the consequences."

"Fair enough." Kellogg responded, fingers curling and uncurling around Nick's wrists. "What do you think the consequences would be for telling me?"

Nick fell silent, turning his head into the pillow.

"Okay. You don't have to tell me anything else." Kellogg conceded, listening to him breathe. "I shouldn't have said anything."

Nick didn't respond, and Kellogg was sure he was faking sleep.

"For what it's worth, I am sorry."

"Your apology isn't worth a damn thing." Nick muttered, words muffled. "Never will be."

"Didn't think it was ." Kellogg sank his teeth into his bottom lip, letting Nick's words wash over him.

"Doesn't make me feel any better."

The merc's words failed him, and he conceded the point with a bow of his head. "Nothing I say will help."

"Then don't…" Nick answered, voice trailing off.

"Get some rest. You'll feel better tomorrow."

Nick didn't answer. An uneasy silence fell between them.

When Nick opened his door the next morning, his office was silent. Ellie wasn't home, which meant maybe he had just missed her by moments since it was barely after dawn. He guessed she was in Goodneighbor again. But something still nagged at his thoughts when he took another step into the building. A sick dread welled up in his chest and he knew then something was wrong.

His room was trashed. The office was ransacked, papers thrown about everywhere. Nick took a step into the doorway, brow furrowed. "What-"

"Nick." He swiveled. He knew that voice. Nora looked different, cleaner. The institute issued clothes were the only neat thing in the room. "Sigma Upsilon 10-27-49." The last thing he noticed before he blacked out was the look on her face. She looked guilty, expression giving away her true feelings no matter how she tried to hide it.