AN: Holy crap! So many likers / followers! Even got some feedback! You guys are awesome, thank you. :D As a warning I suppose there could be vague elements of non-con in this chapter… I'm not exactly certain what levels need what warnings so I figure better safe than sorry.

TWO – Desire

Books, books… so many books. The Inquisition had received a small mountain of them; mostly gifts from supporters, but also tomes and documents found on the road by agents, plus, of course, everything the Inquisition ordered for themselves. Being not only devilishly handsome but also relatively more literate than most others in Skyhold, I, of course, was stuck organising the library. Not that I particularly minded that. I liked books, and it was certainly a better task than hauling armour around or helping with re-tiling the roof of the keep… it was simply a large job. Whenever I thought I was about done, Lilianna's runners would appear with armfuls more. Then I'd have to rearrange everything, practically starting again… Maker. At least I had a good view. The single window looked out over Skyhold's courtyard and every now and again I would see Lavellan hopping over the main wall to the courtyard below – because apparently the Inquisitor had never heard of 'stairs'.

He was fascinating to watch. He moved faster alone than he did when we were gallivanting around the countryside. He must be slowing his steps for us poor humans, I realised.

I had smirked to myself when he jumped up onto the wall and walked along it as he spoke to Cullen, pointing out weaknesses in the outer defences. It reminded me of when I'd first been included in his little adventuring company. We'd gone to the Storm Coast and I had marvelled over how he had so easily scouted the cliffs, jumping from rock to rock with bewitching grace. He went ahead of us a little way, finding the paths the rest of us could safely take… since none of us could move across the coast quite as he did.

It was the first time I really noticed how incredibly fascinating he was. It had to be a Dalish thing. Even now, in the safety of Skyhold -perhaps especially because it was Skyhold- Lavellan would find amusing and impressive 'short cuts'; sometimes startling his people half to death with his daring. Just yesterday, Cassandra had stormed all over Skyhold looking for Lavellan, she even came up to the library to accuse me of hiding him… eventually she'd found the man napping on the tavern roof with Sera. The roof! Who does that?!

I couldn't understand why Cassandra was so paranoid. Lavellan was hardly the type to shirk his duties. Despite not asking for the position of Inquisitor, it was obvious he took it incredibly seriously. When he wasn't inspecting outer defences with Cullen he was plotting with Lilianna upstairs, or strolling through the courtyards with Josephine. He'd gone to great lengths to make Skyhold defensible. He'd secured the supply lines that bought in food and medicine within twenty four hours of arriving, and, every evening, without fail, I would watch him cross the courtyard to the medical tents to lend his magical talents to Surgeon… and that was after checking in on each and every member of his inner circle to ensure we wanted for nothing. He truly was a marvel.

It had grown late, the candles flickering as they burned low. I squinted at the title of a book for a full two minutes before realising it was written in a form of dwarfish that I couldn't understand. I heaved a sigh and set it aside, making a mental note to ask Varric about it in the morning. Did the old surfacer even read old dwarfish? I wasn't sure. I picked up the next book and glanced at the cover. The text was swimming across the leather.

"Maybe you should get some sleep?" A gentle suggestion, the smooth tenor of the voice soothing. I smiled, not needing to turn around to see who it was.

I deduced the book was elven and filed it along with the other elven tomes. "Inquisitor… I'd have thought even you would be tucked up in bed by now. I hear Josephine spared no expense on your quarters." I glanced over my shoulder to find him leaning against the wooden balcony, smiling a very slightly mischievous smile at me. He was wearing his tunic set, the caramel coloured one with the silver adornments. It was sleek against his body, not quite tight, but considerably less bulky than the enchanter's coat I usually saw him wearing. "It'd be a shame to waste that bed, don't you think?" I mused, smiling something mischievous of my own.

"It's rather a bit bigger than I'm used to," he lamented, pushing himself back onto his feet and taking a few graceful steps towards me. "Lonely… I think." He came to stand right beside me, so close that I could feel the heat of him. His smile turned into something like concern and he raised a hand to brush along my jaw. The touch set little butterflies twirling in my chest. "Seems I'm not the only one struggling to sleep," he said softly. "Maybe we can help each other out with that?" He ran his hand from my face down my front, his eyes fixing on the fastenings of my robe before glancing back up at me through dark lashes, his ruby eyes glinting with promising temptation.

Realisation dawned on me and I rolled my eyes at myself. I turned my gaze back to the books, the butterflies dying as quickly as they'd been born and plummeting to my stomach. "Oh, you're him." I threw down the books I had left in my hand and shrugged off his touch. "How long have I been asleep, I wonder?" I shook my head. "Seems I can't get away from these damn books! Wasting good dream time cataloguing… tut tut. I can think of a hundred better things I could be dreaming about." I turned and flopped down into my chair, glaring at the bookshelves, refusing to look at him… not directly at least. I did watch him out of the corner of my eye though. How could I not, the way he moved his hips as he sidled over was criminal.

"Me, for example?" He arrived at the chair, and, before I could even blink let along move to stop him, he'd thrown his legs over mine, trapping me as he straddled my knees and made himself comfortable on my lap. Those damn butterflies were back, and this time they were threatening to choke me. I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was. Honestly I shouldn't even have dared to sit in the chair. It was an amateur mistake. I'd met a few desire demons in my days, but I'd never yet met one with any sense of personal boundaries. The prospect of trapping me like this, entirely at his mercy, was far too tempting… not that desire demons ever bothered to try resisting temptation.

He continued his assault, his elbows coming to rest on my shoulders as his lithe hands moving to tangle into my hair. The little devil sunk as close to me as he could get, even wriggling his hips against mine to 'get comfy'. I froze, the sensation far more tantalising than I cared to admit. I employed every mental discipline I could remember to try and block him out, to not feel his warmth… the delicious friction… to not get lost in those mischievous ruby eyes. Maker preserve me… the mirror was getting better… more convincing… harder to disbelieve. I made a mental note to start practising my old willpower meditations as soon as I woke up… of course, that didn't really help me out of my current predicament.

"You're tired, Dorian," he whispered to me, one of his hands combing through my locks while the other kept an almost painful grip. "Sleep with me… no one would blame you, not after Haven… not after all your hard work." He pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek, missing the corner of my mouth by less than an inch. "Just one night… I'll help you work out stresses you didn't know you had and tomorrow…" he smirked, his tongue darting out to taste my lips. "… you can go back to cataloguing books."

"Or rather, you'll catalogue the books," I grumbled, "Wearing my handsome face." I shook my head defiantly. "No, I'm sorry, I just wouldn't suit you."

"Are you sure?"

My eyes widened in shock. As he spoke his face and body rippled. The weight on me shifted to something heavier. In another moment… I was gazing at my own face. The demon smirked at me, the corner of his mouth lifting just as mine did when I was amused. Insufferable!

"I think I'd make a rather dashing you."

I arched an eyebrow, refusing to allow the demon to see how unnerved I was. "I don't sound like that… do I sound like that?"

"I don't sound like that," he mimicked. "Do I sound like that?" He laughed; a wild boisterous thing that rang in my ears.

I scowled up at him, but that only made him laugh harder. Another ripple, another moment, and it was Lavellan back in my lap, smirking at me.

"Oh come on, Dorian, it was just a bit of fun. Lighten up, enjoy yourself. You deserve it." He rolled his hips against mine again and I let out a strangled moan as my treacherous body began to respond to the illusion. "What are dreams for…?" he cooed in my ear, his tongue running along the shell and sending shocks of pleasure down my spine, "if not to have what you shouldn't touch?" He sat up, freeing his hands from my hair just to run them down his own chest, his fingers flicking opening the fastenings of his tunic… one torturous button at a time. "You can touch me, Dorian. I want you to… I need you to." I was hypnotised as a slither of that sun-stained, tattooed skin was bared to my eyes, the gap in his shirt slowly widening as the tunic came undone. "Put your hands on me… feel me…" Another roll of his hips had some very physical evidence of my desire pressing against him. He glanced down at me, his smirk turning smug, his eyes glinting triumphantly. "There's a good boy," he purred, one hand running over my hair and down my face as he ground his hips against mine with more fervency. I swallowed, trying to push down the butterflies in my throat.

"Stop…" it wasn't a very convincing protest, even to my ears.

"Give in," he taunted. "Take me, Dorian… I'm offering myself to you. All my power… all my beauty… yours to have." He leaned down to kiss me but I turned my face away, even shut my eyes, refusing to look at him.

"No?" he continued, a laugh on his tone, "Hmm… perhaps I've misjudged you? Perhaps you're the type to prefers to be taken?" He was leaning against me now, pressing himself against my chest and murmuring right into my ear. "Shall I bend you over a table, Dorian? Should I whisper sweet filth in your ear as I fuck you within an inch of your life? As I show you dirty ecstasies you haven't even dared to dream of?" His hand was travelling down my chest, flicking open buttons, teasing my skin as he went. "Or perhaps you'd like to be on your knees, putting that wicked Tevinter tongue to good use?" He leaned forward and pressed his kisses to my exposed chest, one hot hand snaking inside the fabric of my opened clothes to toy with a nipple. "Would you like that?" he asked between kisses.

I sucked in a breath as his hot hand pinched painfully. The pain bought me back to myself, reminded me in that split second that I was Dorian Pavus, an altus mage of Tevinter and this demon dared to soil the image of someone I admired, exhibiting him, offering him like a cheap whore. I grabbed his wrist and yanked his touch from my body so suddenly that even he seemed surprised. I glared down at him, my arousal fast merging with my anger. "Not from you," I hissed. "Now fuck off!"

The seduction and sweetness drained from his face, leaving only malice to burn in ruby orbs. "Think carefully, Dorian," he warned. "I've been patient thus far… but even my patience has its limits. Refuse me now, and the next time we meet I might not play so fair."

"Play fair? This is you playing fair?" I cried, outraged.

"You don't want to cross me, Dorian," he growled, his eyes narrowing at me in spite. "I have bought far greater men to their knees on a whim. Just think what sweet madness I'll give you in trying!"

Electric energy crackled around my hand where I gripped his wrist, my fury manifested. The demon hissed in pain and I threw him back. "I am not afraid of you."

He opened his mouth and shrieked at me, a wild ear splitting sound filled with anger and spite. I let go of his wrist to cover my ears, a whirlwind sweeping up to batter against me. I shut my eyes against it and felt the library shatter as I was unceremoniously ejected from the fade.

"Dorian? Dorian, are you alright? Wake up… you're dreaming." A gentle hand shaking my shoulder, a soft voice soothing after the scream that rattled my ear drums. I forced my eyes open and found myself gazing up at a worried pair of rubies.

"Lavellan!"

He pursed his lips in momentary annoyance. "Bastian," he corrected.

I flopped back into the library chair, relief washing over me as the gentle hum of Bastian's magic assured me I'd returned to the real world. I smirked up at him, then inclined my head. "Inquisitor," I teased.

Bastian rolled his eyes, but smiled all the same. He took a step back, giving me space to stretch out my stiff limbs. Sunlight was pouring in through the small window. Early morning dew was clinging to the glass.

"Have you been sleeping there all night?" Lavellan asked, his eyebrow arching in concern. "Josephine told me everyone had been found quarters-"

I waved a dismissive hand. "Oh I have quarters," I assured him. "I just fell asleep." I pushed myself onto my feet and stretched my back and neck. "Cataloguing books isn't exactly the most stimulating activity."

Bastian looked around the library in approval. "Well you've done a fine job."

"Still a few more to go," I gestured to the stacks still by my chair. "If I can find space that is. You might want to invest in a couple more book cases."

"I'll… bare that in mind," he promised with a bright smile.

"Good… right then…" I let my hands fall to my sides and looked him over in curiosity. He was magnificent as always, even this early in the morning. It had to still be early, the library was empty but for us, and I couldn't hear either Lilianna or Solas meandering about on the upper and lower levels. There was something off though… he wouldn't look me in the eye; instead he gazed at the floorboards, one hand scratching nervously at the back of his head. I put on hand on my hip and gave him a small frown. "Something the matter?" I asked. "You seem awfully distracted… and I'm not even the distraction this time. I'm almost offended!"

He looked up at me with another smile. "Don't worry, Dorian, you're plenty distracting." His smile fell into another concerned frown before I could really take that in, let alone come up with a witty and flirty response. "There's a letter you should see."

Ah, my opportunity. "Oo, a letter? Is it something naughty? Explicit love notes from a randy dowager, perhaps?" I winked at him, but it didn't bring his usual smile to his face. Instead I found myself matching his frown as I sensed the severity of the situation. "What is it?"

He pulled the parchment from his pocket and handed it to me. "From your father. Revered Mother Giselle wasn't sure I should tell you… she suggested doing as the letter asked and just luring you there – for your 'greater happiness'- but…" he shook his head, his brow furrowing as his frown deepened. "I couldn't… I wouldn't trick you like that."

I took the letter and read it over, my scowl turning darker with each ridiculous word. "'I know my son'?" I read aloud, unable to keep the bitterness from my tone. "What my father knows about me wouldn't be enough to fill a bloody eggcup!" I clenched my teeth behind my lips and glared at the paper incredulously. "'Family retainer', yes of course… more likely someone waiting to knock me over the head and drag me back to Tevinter before I shame the family any more than I already have." I scrunched the paper in my fist, desperately fighting the need to shout something obscene and blasphemous.

Bastian clasped his hands behind his back, still frowning as he watched me. "What do you want to do?"

I began to pace the small alcove, my irritation causing bile to rise up in my throat. I was angry… no… livid. The lingering anger from my latest confrontation with Lust did nothing for my nerves. I glanced up at Lavellan, still patiently waiting, giving me time to think it over, to work it out on my own. He'd probably go to Redcliff to meet this 'retainer' with me if I asked. That's the sort of wonderful person he was. Guilt mixed with my anger as I remembered how Lust had taunted me… how he had aroused me. Lavellan… Bastian… offered me the kindest friendship; me, a Tevinter mage… and I repaid him by fooling around with demons that borrowed his smile because they knew it did things to me.

I tore my gaze away from him and shook my head. I was a terrible person. I wondered what Lavellan would think of me if he knew about the demon that haunted my dreams, if he knew what shape it adopted. I wondered what he would think when he found out why my family was so desperate to drag me home… when he found out why my father and I didn't see eye to eye. Southerners seemed to have a more relaxed attitude to sex, at least as far as I could tell. But I hadn't exactly investigated the matter, and Bastian was Dalish… I knew even less about his people and their attitudes. Fear jumped around in my chest… a bitter, probably foolish, anxiety that I couldn't shake. Those stupid fears that Lust had turned on me were all too real. What if he was as disgusted as my father? What if he laughed at me? Ridiculed me? It was silly… Lavellan had flirted with me, hadn't he? I'd seen homosexual couples in Southern Thedas treated the same as any heterosexual couple… but I still couldn't shake that terrified voice in the back of my head. What if I'd misunderstood? What if I'd seen only what I wanted to see?

"Dorian?" Bastian poked me gently, his soft tone telling me I had the option of ignoring him another moment, if I needed it. I stilled my pacing and frowned at the crumpled parchment in my hand. "I'd… like to go to Redcliff," I said, finally looking up to meet concerned ruby eyes. "If only to send this 'retainer' back with instructions of exactly where my father can shove his concern."

He found that amusing. His ruby eyes twinkled even as he kept his face straight. He gave a short nod. "If that's what you want, I'll have the horses saddled right away."

"Right away?"

He raised an eyebrow. "No time like the present, is there? We can be in Redcliff by nightfall if we leave now."

I managed a weak smile for him and nodded in return. "Thank you."

I expected him to turn away, to head down the steps and leave me to prepare for the journey, but instead he took a step towards me, his gentle gaze scanning my face. "Are you… alright, Dorian?" he asked. "I know the letter isn't exactly what you wanted to hear but… before that… I don't know, you seem tired lately."

I scoffed to myself. Of course he'd notice. He was attentive like that. I buried the anger for my father, saving it for later when we arrived at Redcliff, but that left only my guilt as I looked at him. His compassion burned me, made the guilt's sting stronger. I had to deal with this 'lust demon'. I couldn't let it pollute my friendship with him. So few people here in the South would give me the time of day… the damn blacksmith had spat at me when I'd gone to see him for outfitting. Bastian deserved better. I pulled my smile back on. It was fake, and for a moment, as his brow quirked, I feared he could see right through it.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "Nothing I can't handle."

He reached out, his hand clasping my shoulder. His skin was cool, not like the hot touch of the demon. It was soothing to the ghostly burn Lust had left there. "If you need anything, Dorian… you need only ask."

"That's the trouble," I sighed, getting lost in his gentle eyes. "Asking is a lot harder than it should be."

AN: I have tried my hand at a little fanart. (Cover image was done by yours truly) as you can see I'm not a fabulous artist but I get by. If you fancy checking out my illustration for this story you can find it on my Facebook and DeviantArt pages, (Dixie990 for both) If you like my writing style, I write A LOT of original works, some of which you can find on fictionpress, again, same username ;) If you decide to look me up there, however, please be aware that some of my stories really aren't for sensitive readers (My vampire's actually bite). That is all… cats rule!