I had to write this once I read all the comments… even if it's now in the middle of the night and I'm going to be dead tired tomorrow…
101 Creative Ways To Pair Bots Up
Author: Thalanee
Verse: AU Movieverse
Prompt: First Week, 7: Matchmaking
Word Count: 900-1000 words
Rating: pg13
Warning: more complete and utter crack, mentions of interfacing in interesting locations
Summary: Jazz is not the only bot unaware of the identity of Prowl's carrier. Also there are things that suddenly make a strange kind of sense…
Author's Notes: The bunny thrived on all the encouragement… also I'm officially crazy and on a sugar-rush XD
There's more to come, but the drabbles won't be in chronological order, more as the bunnies bite.
XXXXX
"Ah've had a thought." The silver Solstice announced out of the blue.
"I thought I smelled something burning." His soon-to-be-bondmate's reply was somewhat acerbic, as he focused his attention on the saboteur, ignoring the music playing in the background.
Jazz sighed dramatically. "You're never gonna let me live this down, are ya?" A woeful look was directed at the tactician who had not completely recovered from the shock of Jazz "pulling a Prowl" as Ratchet had termed it, and hence was wrapped around the saboteur in whose lap he sat.
"Let us just say that at this moment in time I am disinclined to do so." He teased back anyway, wings twitching and arms tightening around the saboteur.
"Well, ya gotta admit, that was a real shocker ya presented there." Jazz helpfully pointed out to distract Prowl. His attempts got the desired effect when Prowl scowled and poked him in the rip plating.
"I told you already, I thought you knew." The tactician huffed.
"Which brings meh back ta ma original topic." Jazz paused for a short while, before continuing with a wicked grin on his face. "If ah didn't know, does that mean Sunny don't know either?" He sounded positively gleeful at the prospect.
Prowl blinked in surprise, actually taking a few moments to consider. If Jazz hadn't noticed, then how could Sunstreaker have? Then again the artist was more observant than bots gave him credit for. "I do not know. It is quite possible that he is at this moment unaware of the nature of my connection to Bluestreak. There is a high probability that he has misunderstood just like you did." Though it was really beyond Prowl how bots could misunderstand. The way Bluestreak doted on his creation and adored Prowl was so obvious. To Prowl anyway…
The grin on Jazz's face took on a fiendish quality. "Can Ah have a picture of tha look on his face when he realizes that if he's gonna hook up with Blue permanently he's gonna be yor step-dad?" he purred, absently stroking the gorgeous doorwings in his reach.
"My thoughts exactly." A smug little smile appeared on the black and white's face. "We can add it to his blackmail file. Besides as Bluestreak's sole remaining relative it behooves me to issue the traditional threats of painful consequences should any harm befall Bluestreak from his side."
"Ah like the way ya think, Sparkles." The saboteur grinned like something you wouldn't want to meet in a dark place (or any place really). "Of course ya realize it makes Siders your doting uncle, right?"
Prowl couldn't suppress the twitch that ran through his whole body at the thought. He dreaded to think what the base's prankster would come up with, once he found out. "Please do not remind me. I will deal with this when the time comes. Also Ratchet would be less than pleased to see us in his domain so soon after our last visit."
Jazz didn't hide the wince at the reminder of his latest stint into medbay. After waking up he had been greeted with the obligatory wrench to the helm and one of Ratchet's more spectacular lectures to date. The medic had not taken well to the pairs refusal to tell him what caused Jazz of all bots to crash. "Remind me ta do something nice for tha Hatchet very soon. Think ah could get mah servo on some of the high grade ya confiscated?"
A flat stare was all the answer Jazz got from the SIC.
"Alright, Ah'll think of something else." He changed the topic, returning to the previous subject. "Seriously though, what do we do if Sunny freaks out?"
"There is no need to worry about that, I already have several contingency plans set up." At Jazz's questioning look Prowl elaborated. "They all involve close proximity between the two of them, with no distractions from any other bots in a private place. For a while I contemplated cuffing them to each other, but I think I will stick to the tried and true plans my carrier taught me by using them on us."
The silver mech chuckled, then paused as the last part of Prowl's explanation registered. "What do ya mean ´used on us´?"
One of Prowl's optic ridges rose, while the tactician pressed closer to Jazz than before, wrapping his arms around Jazz neck, before answering his voice dropped to a low, sultry purr. "You do remember the time when we both were in denial about our feelings for each other. The issue was resolved during a long stint in a remote, escape proof cell in the brig in the Iacon Autobot Base, as I recall."
"Yeah…" Jazz grin turned blissful at the memories Prowl's response and actions evoked. Then the true meaning of his love's words sank in… "Wait a moment, ya wanna tell me it was Blue who locked us in that cell and only let us out once we interfaced each other into oblivion?" Somehow he managed to convey the impression of comically widening optics even with his visor.
Prowl had t fight to keep from laughing. "…Yes."
Jazz had no such compunctions and proceeded to laugh himself silly, the previously bizarre quality of the thought didn't bother him anymore. "Heh, well, least Ah know where ya got your diabolical processors from." Jazz directed a leer at Prowl. "Not that Ah'm complaining, that were some fantastic overloads there." Another idea occurred to him, a thought to tempting to ignore. "Mind returning the favour, if Sunny freaks?" he drawled.
"Indeed not." Smirking smugly, Prowl pulled out a key card. "What did you think I acquired the master key of the base's storage closets for?"
Probably To Be Continued (as the bunnies bite)