A/N: I'M BACK! Welcome to another OT5 story of mine. Please read and review

Summary: It wasn't his fault. It never was but one wrong turn destroyed everything. Love was never his forte. As he shields himself from the world, he found someone to hold onto...but will he be able to fight for this person against them, against the memory, against the desire...?

Disclaimer: I don't own POT...though I wish I did so that Ryoma and I can live happily ever after!

PS: "" for dialogs, '' for thoughts, italics for flashbacks, dreams and memories and bold for foreign, wired or text conversations.

Yeah I noticed how short the last chapter was. Yukimura will have a short but vital exposure in this story.

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Ryoma hugged himself tight as he stood outside the door, waiting for Nanako to open it. He's only wearing his tennis shorts and shirt...nothing more. He left abruptly that he didn't manage to grab something to keep him warmer.

"Damn Nanako...hurry." He was already shivering. He pushed the door bell again.

"Who is it?" Came a query from the other side of the door.

"Nanako it's me, Ryoma!" He cried. "Open up!"

It only took a few seconds for the door to slide open.

"Ryoma! What happened to you?" Nanako gasped at the state her cousin was in. He was shivering and there was a small bruise forming on his left cheek. "Did you get in a fight?"

Ryoma pushed past his cousin. "Damn Nanako, it's freezing outside! You should've let me in first before asking." He stomped towards his room, not actually in the mood for answering questions.

Nanako closed the door and shook her head. "Your mother called earlier. She's asking how you are."

Ryoma paused in mid-step. "Did she?" Soon a warm feeling filled his iced chest. "Fine, I'll call her."

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Ryoma tossed and turned but he couldn't get himself to sleep. He sat up and glanced at his cell phone. Did he really think they'd call him?

'You're being stupid Ryoma.' He grudgingly took the gadget, intent in smashing it against the wall when a thought came to him. His fingers moved deftly across the key pad as he stared outside, to the moon from up above.

He placed the phone to his ear and listened to the steady ring. Steady...stability...he thought he had that in the arms of his lovers. However, when Tezuka uttered those hateful words, those feelings became so strange now.

"Ryoma?"

Ryoma took a deep breath at the soft sound of his mother's voice. "Mom, is it still possible for m-me to come and l-live with you?" He felt his lips quiver as he spoke to the phone.

There was a long pause from the other line, causing his heart to beat faster.

"Did it really come to this point?"

Ryoma hugged his knees tight against his chest. "I don't know."

A sigh was heard from the other line. "I told you before that if they don't want you anymore, you can always come and live with your father and me."

Those words caressed his heart softly that it made him shiver. He didn't notice the tears falling down his cheeks.

"Whatever we're called a family for?"

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Rinko sighed as she laid the phone back on the table. She knew that she should be happy, knowing that Ryoma finally decided to come to Britain to stay for good. She had been praying for this for so long.

She shook her head and went out of the study to find her husband who was currently tending to their orchard.

"I should be thankful. I should be elated.' She told herself as she went down the winding staircase. 'But I can't help but feel sad for him. I don't know what happened but I know Ryoma loved them deeply.'

She stepped into the veranda, craning her neck to find her husband under the glaring heat of the sun.

"Nanjiroh!"

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Fuji sat up abruptly, finally waking up from a horrible and vivid dream which included Ryoma writhing underneath Yukimura while the older one ravished his lover.

'Ex-lover.' Fuji corrected himself mentally as he tried to composed himself. His eyes fell on the two sleeping bodies on each his side. Aside form Ryoma, he's missing one more.

"I'm sleeping in my parent's bedroom."

He slipped out of their massive bed, careful enough not to wake his other lovers and padded across the room. One elegant hand swiped an object from the dresser while on his way to the library.

'People used to call me a sadist; thinking that I love seeing other people suffer.' He opened his laptop and inserted the CD. 'What they don't know is I'm a masochist as well.' He frowned when the video started playing. He bit his lip as jealousy surged up to its maximum peak while he watched Ryoma writhe in pleasure.

"I wanted to convince myself that someone went wrong." He muttered as tears fell down his cheeks once more. "But seeing you, seeing you like this while you're with him makes me want to rip your heart away." He brought his hand up and traced Ryoma's feature on the video with a finger.

"Like how you ripped mine into pieces."

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Ryoma slept in most of the morning, not wanting to greet the day, not wanting to be haunted by the truth that he'll be waking up alone from now on.

"Leave this house. I don't want to see you ever again."

Ryoma sprang up from his bed, sweating and panting hard. His eyes hurt. It was like he cried his eyes dry during the night. He closed his eyes, wanting to ward the pain off...hoping that it would also ward the greater ache that is inside his heart.

"Leave this house. I don't want to see you ever again."

"Eleven simple words..." He muttered as he gingerly moved to sit on the edge of his bed. "I never thought it would be enough to end something that had been there for so long."

He rubbed his arms to keep the chill from claiming him once more. His eyes caught sight of the clock on his beside table. 11:30...it's almost noon. He has a lot of this to tend to so that he could leave Japan for good. He forced his self to stand up and go to the bathroom.

"They don't need to know..." He muttered as he turned the shower on and allowed the icy water stab his skin until he went numb.

"They don't want to..."

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"YOU DID WHAT?" Kirihara screamed. Before him sat a dejected Yukimura. He came in this morning to check on his friend only to find out a devastating truth.

Yukimura rubbed his hand with his hands warily. "I know Aka-chan! I know that I'm probably the most hated person now but--"

"YOU DRUGGED HIM!" Kirihara whisked in anger. He could he how his friend flinched at the impact of his words. "You drugged him and you--you--"

"I know!" Yukimura cried in distress. He has tears escaping from his azure eyes. "I just couldn't stop how I feel anymore! God! I love him! I have been loving him for eight years and we would've been together if--if--"

"But he doesn't love you, Seiichi! He never did! His eyes were focused on four men!" Kirihara clenched his fists tight. "What he felt for you is nothing more than friendship! How many times do I have to tell that you shouldn't expect more than that!"

His outburst was punctuated by a loud bang. Both of them jerked and gaped at the door where Ryoma stood like a big "X".

'Uh-oh...' Kirihara swallowed hard.

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Tezuka tried to focus on reading his notes. He needs to. He's in his 3rd year in law school and this the time when he should concentrate the most. But he couldn't. Every time he stares at his notes, Ryoma's face kept on popping in his head.

'Ryoma's hateful eyes.' Tezuka sighed. He adores those golden orbs so much.

"Leave this house. I don't want to see you ever again."

"Did I really mean that?" He asked himself. Yes, he's now realizing the weight of the words that he uttered. He's cutting all connections with the golden-eyed man. He's asking him to disappear from their lives, his life.

'But it was his fault. It was he who...' He shook his head, not wanting to remember the sordid picture from the video he saw.

"Damn you Ryoma..."

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The storm died down and it left a bruised Yukimura, an exhausted Kirihara and a dejected Ryoma. They were all crumpled in a heap on Yukimura's dorm room.

"God I hate you so much Seiichi." Ryoma panted as he untangled himself from Kirihara's grip. The poor man was acting like a referee/shield when Ryoma attempted to maul Yukimura.

A sob was heard from the teal-haired man. "I'm sorry."

Ryoma sat up and hugged his knees tight against his chest. "I should probably kill you right now for fucking everything up in my life. I should..."

Yukimura looked up, tears falling steadily down his pale cheeks. "T-then do it."

"But I won't." Ryoma snapped at him. "You were by best friend Seiichi!"

Yukimura buried his head in his hands. "B-but I love you Ryoma...I really, really love you..."

Kirihara sighed and sat up as well, posing as a barrier between the two, just to keep the golden-eyed man from murdering his friend. "What now?"

Ryoma sighed and dusted his cap. "I'm leaving for Britain tonight."

"What!" Yukimura and Kirihara spat in unison.

Ryoma threw them a side glance. "I just came here to beat the crap out of you and fix my papers. I'm on the last flight that will leave for Glasgow tonight."

Yukimura hastily wiped his tears away. 'N-no...' He tried to crawl up to the man but Kirihara stooped him. "But what about your studies? Your tennis? We're supposed to officially debut as pros next spring!" He ignored the incessant tug in his heart.

"What about your lovers?"

Ryoma pinched the bridge of his nose. He could sense an intense migraine coming. "I'll continue studying there. And as for tennis, I officially left the country's line-up for the US Open." He sighed. He tried moving his legs. Noting that he finally got the strength of his feet back, he stood up.

"As for them, it's over." Ryoma took a deep breath before heading for the door. "But don't get your hopes up, Seiichi. You may have succeeded in breaking us up, but there's no way I'm hooking up with you."

"And besides, you broke my trust."

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Sanada spent the entire day in his family's dojo. He took the day off from business school to clear his mind but he couldn't.

He studied the scattered dilapidated dummies which he slashed mercilessly with his sword. He tried so hard to concentrate but he couldn't. Everything was happening too fast.

He slumped down on the floor, with tears silently falling down his cheeks.

"R-Ryoma..." He bit his lip hard as he tried to suppress the pain in his chest. "Why?"

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Atobe busied himself with work. Yes, even only at the age of 21, his father deemed it right that he take over the company already. And it was a good decision since the Atobe Patriarch didn't have that much time in this earth.

"Atobe-sama, here are the files--"

"Just place it on my desk and leave." Atobe cut him off. He wasn't in his usual jubilant, haughty self. Today, he looked like the ghost of their former boss which came back to earth to haunt them.

Another employee came in, looking as is he's going to wet his pants.

"A-Atobe-sama?"

Atobe slammed his fists on the table and glared at the intruder. "What did I tell you my policies!"

The man flinched. "I-I'm sorry Atobe-sama but there's a phone call for you from an Alexander Hawthorne. H-he said it's u-urgent--"

Atobe paused, recognized the name of the caller. "Connect him then get the hell out of here!"

He closed his tired eyes. 'I need more distractions...I need more...I need something to keep me from thinking about him the whole day...remembering how his golden eyes used to shimmer in--' His train of thoughts was cut short when his phone beeped.

He sighed and took the call.

"How is my most favorite cousin in the whole world doing?"

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Ryoma took a deep breath just as the taxi stopped in front of the Atobe's mansion. His eyes studied the regal-looking structure that he once called his home.

'Ok Ryoma...it's time to close this chapter of your life.' In his hand was a CD case. 'I guess I wasted a lot of time asking them the same question...only to realize that each of them broke their promise.'

He moved out of the taxi and walked towards the intimidating structure he used to love. 'Their love is did not last forever.'

'They stopped loving me...my tomorrow with them is now nothing but a mere echo of the past.'

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A/N: I'm sorry...I still haven't organized my head. I've been through hell and back last week...that darned thesis proposal nearly had me on my knees. So I'm literally depressed right now.

And yeah, I told you last chapter that it won't be as gloomy as "Forfeit" but I guess I'm wrong.

No matter how bad this chapter is,

PLEASE MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW!

I really need it to cheer me up!