Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Big thanks to our incredible team of betas: karenec, LJ Summers, AmeryMarie, and jakeward. You ladies rock our socks!

Chapter One: Routine

For the past four months, I have had a routine. My alarm went off every weekday morning at precisely 4:30 a.m. I got up immediately, slipped into my robe, and made my bed. I put in my contacts, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. I dressed in workout clothes, grabbed my iPod and headed out.

As I left my building, I scrolled down to my running playlist, and headed northeast on Mission Street towards Pier 14 on Embarcadero. As the sound of Mute Math's "Reset" began to play, I scanned the streets around me. The city was cold and damp with fog, almost completely lifeless at this time of morning, only the shuffle of early merchants preparing for the usual hustle and bustle of a regular San Francisco day. With each stride I took, I felt my muscles slowly stretching, the adrenaline and drive I felt burning away the multitude of thoughts floating around in my head. I ran to get away; it cleared my mind and centered me. It helped me get through each interminable day. Without it, I felt off-kilter and out of control. It's the only time I could think and feel nothing at all. Just me.

The bay was to my right and the city to my left. I soaked in the smell of the fresh, salty air and felt myself begin to wake up. I took the same route nearly every morning and it was as familiar to me as breathing. The dark sky was illuminated only by the amber glow of the streetlights and the lights in the high-rise buildings and businesses that lined my path. The piers stretched out to my right, lined with shipping ports, warehouses, and restaurants. Riley and I had spent many nights along this road, eating dinner or just strolling along the water, hand in hand. I missed him.

I turned the corner and ran along Pier 39 and The Fisherman's Wharf. The scene was so very different compared to what it will be in just a few hours' time. The path I run along the water lead me along Hyde Street Pier and before I could blink, I saw it; the last restaurant we had been to together. The night my life fell apart. It was masochistic of me to relive that moment, but I couldn't stop myself. I reached the end of my run and stared at it for a moment in the dim early morning light, my breath leaving my chest in heavy gasps as I felt my emotions swelling inside.

I could still picture Riley sitting in front of me, handsome in a black suit and soft blue tie, nervously fidgeting in his seat. I still felt his fingers in mine and his words echoed in my mind, "Bella, I have something I want to tell you."

I swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that threatened every time I reached the restaurant at the mid-point of my run. I turned up the volume of my music until it drowned out all the thoughts in my head, clearing my mind. I turned and headed back the way I came, pushing harder and faster to get away, my grief fueling my energy. When I reached Mission Street again, my playlist ended and I slowed, jogging part of the way, then finally came down to a walk. I walked the rest of the way back to my apartment building, and stared at my distorted reflection in the brushed metal panels of the elevator as it rose to my floor.

I took a shower and got ready for work, pulling myself together just enough to look professional. I settled on a grey suit with a pencil skirt, white silk blouse, and black heels while I reviewed my schedule and what I would have to face at the office the coming day. I slipped on the diamond necklace and earrings my father had given me for my graduation from Stanford. These days they felt like a piece of armor I put on. Wearing them bolstered my courage. They were a reminder of his faith in me and his pride in my accomplishments.

I double-checked that my apartment was neat and tidy, grabbed my briefcase from my office, and left for work. I rarely ate breakfast, but if I did, it was a piece of fruit, or some yogurt. I was hardly ever hungry anymore, but ate mostly to keep up appearances.

Like most mornings, Jacob Black was stationed at the large wood and granite desk in the lobby. He nodded at me.

"Morning, Miss Swan."

"Good morning, Jacob."

I left the building and walked a quarter of a mile to 425 Market Street, where the office building I worked in was located. Tully's Coffee was located on the ground floor of the building and I stopped to pick up my usual café latte.

As I made my way through the lobby, I nodded politely to Paul, the security guard who operated the desk.

I took the elevator to the twenty-eighth floor where Swan and Volturi Associates was located, and walked briskly to my office. When my Grandfather Swan opened the law office, it was very small. Within ten years, it had grown to be more than he could handle on his own. He hired a promising young lawyer named Aro Volturi, fresh out of law school. My father joined the firm out of law school, and developed quite a list of loyal clients. He used the money he made to take on a number of pro bono cases, making the firm's reputation more and more well known in the city. The law firm of Swan and Volturi became one of the most successful San Francisco had to offer.

Charlie and Aro were ten years apart in age and very close. Aro became more and more eccentric as he aged but he was still mentally sharp and one of the most astute lawyers I had ever met. He was essentially retired, but popped into the office now and then. Aro intimidated most of the other lawyers in the office, but I could see past his demeanor. He was very smart and always a step ahead; he was someone I respected very much.

I was far less fond of his son Alec. Late in life, Aro married a young woman named Jane and they had a son named Alec. He was born just five years before me. We had grown up together, but I had never felt like I knew Alec well at all.

Physically, he was similar to his father, of a moderate height and build with black hair and very dark brown eyes. The similarities ended there. Aro and my father had always been the model of integrity. When Alec joined the firm, he quickly developed a reputation as a cocky, entitled, salacious creep and I didn't trust him at all. There had never been any concrete proof of him doing anything illegal. But, there were several things that I had seen that made me very uncomfortable.

He had a habit of using the company credit card for expensive lunches and dinners. I had caught him coming on to more than one of the law clerks, and I'd seen women leaving his office looking disheveled. What concerned me the most was the time I had walked into his office without knocking and saw him with a client he was supposed to be doing pro bono work for. She looked guilty and uncomfortable and he looked smug. I didn't really seen anything when I walked in the room, but the look she had given me and how close they were standing gave me more than enough information to fill in the blanks. I kept a closer eye on him when he was with clients after that. Until I had more proof, I couldn't go to Charlie.

Alec had never done anything directly to me, but I was concerned about the direction he would take the practice once his father officially retired. Charlie was nearly retired as well, but he still had his long-standing clients that he saw occasionally. For the most part, Alec was the only partner in the office on a daily basis. I had been out of law school and working at the firm for four years. Although Aro and Charlie could have made me partner, I preferred to put in my time and not receive special favors. I was however in line for it, and once I made partner, Charlie would officially retire.

I was typically one of the first people in the office each morning; having a few minutes of peace before the phone started to ring and someone needed something gave me time to clear my head. I took a seat at my desk to check my calendar for the day, sipping my coffee as I went over what meetings and appointments I had lined up.

My current assistant, Lauren, was mostly useless. She was from a temp agency, filling in for my assistant, Gianna, who was on maternity leave. I had a great working relationship with Gianna and was counting the days until she returned. Lauren might have done all right in the average office, but a law office required a special skill set that Lauren completely lacked. She was in awe of the idea of working for us, and she spent half her day trying to listen in on client meetings and the other half flirting with the male lawyers. Alec was the worst, he was always hanging around her desk, and staring down her shirt at her ample cleavage; Lauren just seemed to encourage it. When she was actually focusing on the job, she did a good job managing my appointments. I might have been able to handle her sloppy work ethic and ditsy moments, but I suspected she was actually there to snag a wealthy lawyer for a husband.

The firm was divided into two practice groups: civil litigation and criminal litigation. Aro had been head of the criminal litigation group and Alec had taken that over for him. Charlie was still head of civil litigation and I had followed in his footsteps. Each group had a handful of other lawyers, paralegals, and assistants who handled the cases. For the most part each lawyer had their own cases but we often met with each other for consults and advice. It never hurt to have a fresh perspective on a tricky case, and I was grateful that other than at office meetings and in the break room, I rarely had to interact with Alec. Our firm had the reputation of being able to tackle the toughest cases and come out on top, and I was proud of that.

One of the lawyers on the civil side was Vanessa, who was my closest friend. We had gone to Georgetown law together and hit it off immediately, despite our differences. Vanessa often worked closely with Alec though, thankfully, she could hold her own against him. Although she found him just as distasteful as I did, she had never seen him do anything that warranted a reprimand from Charlie and Aro. He was a jerk, but a clever one, and it was going to take more than casual observation to catch him.

I sighed and shook my head, pushing aside my phone. I had a meeting with a client in an hour and some notes I needed to make before I met with them. Contrary to what most people saw in movies and read about in books, I spent most of my days in the office. I was immersed in research and strategy, and spent more time in phone consultations than in a courtroom or meeting with clients face-to-face. But I had a case that was going to trial soon, so I had a client meeting that morning and was expecting a call from a judge later that afternoon about a deposition. The morning flew by, and even after the client had left, I had a stack of papers I needed to sort through to make sure I was ready for the trial the following week. The beeping of my phone reminded me that it was time to head out.

Some days I ate lunch at my desk, burying myself in case files while I had a sandwich from the deli down the street; again, mostly picking at it to keep my father off my back about my health. He was concerned about the weight I'd lost since Riley left and I didn't blame him. Grief had a way of disposing of your appetite. I constantly threw myself into my work; half of the time eating didn't even cross my mind.

Other days, like today, I left my office to meet Vanessa. It was odd; we didn't have much in common at all, but sometimes I wondered if that was the appeal. We usually walked a few blocks to The Plant, an organic vegetarian café that Vanessa loves. I met her at the front of the office and we waved goodbye to Bree before heading out.

"So, are you going out tonight?" I asked her once we were in the elevator.

"Definitely." Her eyes sparkled. "You know I'll never pass up an opportunity to meet a hot guy. It's been at least a week and I'm feeling frisky."

I laughed. I had never met anyone who had so much fun while going out, dancing, and leaving with a dozen guys' phone numbers. They were all lovesick over her by the time she left, although half of them never got a call back. The ones she did go out with rarely lasted more than a single night. Not that they didn't try, but she was ruthless. She was determined to stay single, and although her family was equally determined to find her a guy and get her to settle down, she fought it tooth and nail. I admired her zeal and the way she tore through life. There wasn't a meek bone in her body.

We used to have a girls night every few weeks; sometimes it was drinks at a bar, sometimes clubbing, or just hanging out at home talking all things dirt, gossip and of course, sex. But after Riley left for Washington D.C. five months ago, I just stopped… everything.

For a month, I was a wreck. I woke each day, pulled myself together just enough to get through, and dragged myself to work. I didn't eat, didn't sleep, and cried whenever I was alone. I couldn't let everyone see what a mess I had become. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and the hole that was left in its place was swallowing me alive, leaving me gasping for air. Everywhere I looked, I saw a memory. The stupidest things would take me from functional to completely falling apart, hyperventilating and doubled over to hold myself together. I had no interest in being social and the idea of so much as thinking about being with another guy made me sick to my stomach.

Finally, I immersed myself in work and running. If I could just keep my mind busy at work and not thinking about how my life had irrevocably changed I found I could function. And the running? Well, I felt like if I could just keep running, somehow I could get away from it all-if only for a moment. Dreams of Riley and I together plagued me and I rarely managed to get more than a few hours of sleep a night.

Vanessa had been supportive, and we'd spent more nights than she would have liked watching movies in my apartment and drinking wine. I wasn't the type to cry on her shoulder, and she wasn't really the type to listen to my deepest, darkest secrets. So, we talked about work, and clothes and her latest exploits with guys- anything to get my mind off it, really. She was sympathetic about Riley, but she had never been in a long-term relationship in her life and had no way of comprehending what it was like to lose someone you planned to spend the rest of your life with. I could tell she was getting frustrated with me, but I didn't really know what to do about it.

It finally came to a head today during lunch when Vanessa threw down a napkin in frustration and scolded me, right there in the middle of the restaurant.

"This is ridiculous, Bella. I'm tired of seeing you act like a ghost. You're not even here anymore. You work, you run, and you never smile. I'm not going to let you keep doing this to yourself. I am coming over after work and we're going to go out tonight. You're going to flirt, let guys buy you drinks, and you'll take their phone numbers. If one of them tries to kiss you, you are going to kiss them back. I know you're going to argue with me but it's useless, Bella.

"I know you miss Riley, I know you're hurting, but you are not going to turn into some dried-up old spinster. Not on my watch. You're young and gorgeous and you need to get over this." I sighed, knowing it was useless to argue with her- I just didn't have the will to fight.

"I'll go and have a couple of drinks."

"And kiss boys," she prompted.

"I...I don't know, Ness. I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

"Don't rule it out."

"Fine." I sighed. "I won't rule it out."

"Good." She tucked into the rest of her salad with a satisfied smirk. She caught me staring at her, gave me a saucy smile, and flipped her strawberry blond hair over her shoulder. I gave her a weak smile in response and she gave a squeak of excitement.

"I think that's the first genuine smile I've seen from you in months. We'll get you back in no time."
She was positively gleeful at the idea of me dating again, but I was less convinced. There was no one who could replace Riley. No one. Still, the idea of going out and having fun was slightly appealing. I had been holed up in my apartment far too much and the thought of sitting in a bar with a drink wasn't bad. Better than a night alone in my bed, tossing and turning.

My afternoon was too busy to spend it thinking about my plans with Vanessa. In the chaos of trying to get Lauren to properly copy and collate the packet of information for the trial the following week, it completely slipped my mind.

"No, Lauren, I need four copies. One for the judge, one of the opposing counsel, one for me, and a back-up copy in case anything goes wrong." I struggled to keep my voice at an even keel, but I was frustrated with the fact that she kept making mistakes. "And they have to all be in the proper order. I can't reference something on page twenty-three, and have the twenty-third page behind page six and before page three. Do it again," I snapped.

"Fine," she huffed and teetered off on cheap, wobbly stilettos. She dressed like a tramp on a daily basis and still couldn't seem to manage the four-inch heels.

I sighed and sat back down at my desk, wanting to bang my head against it in frustration. I took a couple of deep, calming breaths and reviewed what I still needed to do before the trial. By the end of the day, Lauren had finally produced all four copies and Amy, one of the paralegals on the case, offered to double-check all of them for accuracy. With a grateful sigh, I handed the project over to her and finished sending out a final email for the night.

Although I'd been working late most Friday nights, tonight I packed up my work for the weekend as the rest of the office wrapped things up and made my way home. I had been living in the Millennium Towers for several years and I loved it. It was a fifty-eight-story high-rise that was the tallest building in San Francisco. I made my way through the sleek and modern lobby and waved to Jacob. He was a crotchety old man who had been there since I moved into the building. He meant well, but he had a habit of sticking his nose into my personal life and we occasionally squabbled. Still, I never managed to stay mad at him for long; it was nice to come home to a familiar face every night, even if he was a cranky old coot.

I unlocked the door to my condo on the twenty-fifth floor and went inside. I sighed with relief as soon as I walked in; I loved my place. It had been painful living there alone after Riley left, but I had hired an interior decorator to make the place over and it helped. It was decorated in soothing, neutral colors and as I made my way through the apartment, hanging up my jacket and depositing my briefcase in my office, I relaxed. The large floor to ceiling windows allowed light to flood in and, except for when I went to bed, I rarely closed the curtains, preferring to leave it as light and open as I could.

The floors were a mixture of hardwood flooring and plush carpet. I got very little use out of my kitchen, as I rarely cooked, but the living area was stylish yet warm and comfortable. I had two bedrooms and a home office, and three bathrooms; it was far too much space for one person but when we moved it had been with the intention of filling it with a family. I led a fairly solitary existence most of the time. Some days I didn't mind, but sometimes my empty apartment was too much of a reminder that my carefully planned life had crumbled around me.

Author End Notes:

Let us know what you think about chapter one and we'll see you next Thursday with chapter two!

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