Goodbye me love
The words cut the air, for a second they stopped the tears that ran down her face, the warm salt feeling coming now to her lips which held a very small quiver at his voice, the voice behind her which came and rose from a weak, spine tingling whisper to a more raised melody that came closer to her ear now quietly.
She almost laughed, he sung horribly and he wavered off rhythm but now she laughed none the less, a laugh almost as if she were trying to suppress it, to keep her defenses of a depressed, alone attitude up.
She failed.
"Nothings going to change my world – Nothings going to change my world…"
He kissed her lightly, and she could not suppress another one, her lips grew pale trying to, but she laughed humbly like an accidental unannounced cough.
"Jethro - ..." she would begin lying against him for what she wanted to be an eternity, and she would not mind, just her breathe and then his heavily falling…
McKenzie ran her fingers quietly down his neck, she felt him tense and smiled, she had forgotten why she had been angry – they fought over the stupidest things most of the time she grew angry just to hear the melody in her ear, a reminder he would always be there, and the kiss on the cheek; maybe he had not kissed her enough or opened a door for her once - it was there little game.
She would resist; for a second, she could not last not speaking or looking at him for more than a few minutes at a time.
As she ran her fingers down she felt the medals on a uniform, she outlined them with her finger against the cold steel – and remembered why she had been crying,
The feeling of warm salted water came back to her lips.
McKenzie waited for the nerves in her hand to send a message to the brain; but nothing would come, just the involuntary rise to her feet, her beautiful features became rigid but still attractive.
"Three months Kenzie;"Jehtro speaking informally, trying to hide emotion; he knew she was crying opposing him staring almost wonderingly for answers into the mahogany hotel wall.
Jethro kissed her one last time, forcing her to turn back to him, but the kiss itself, he needed no force to hold her, he felt her tears – he backed from her, refraining himself from desire – and he left McKenzie alone, left her to her tears…
Jethro walked on, forcing every step, in his head the smell of the parade was as putrid as it was that day and the confetti as eye grabbing – and the beautiful girl who weaved in and out of the band ranks as mesmerizing and taunting to him as he walked out the door; the memory of the McKenzie running against the people during the parade festivities, urging him to stop a moment.
Jethro knew if he considered, he would go back, maybe stay forever.
His family had died in relation to the military, on a day like today, the clouds not overly dense and the humidity fair; who was he to give up something his life had died for; and Shannon and Kelly were his life…
Out there, he told himself truthfully, every face to him could be that killer, no matter if he got the real thing already…
McKenzie cried, a slow almost forced cry because she had not yet become accustom to what had just taken place,
Goodbyes,
In a week the tears would stream and there would be little thought over it because she loved him –
Should she have told him? – Or even hinted at the truth, tell me god!! She said demandingly to herself, tell me if the truth was good enough here, enough to keep him here…
She was not obsessive truthfully just in love and it was true he felt it too – no longer just closure for Shannon; she believed was the name...
How could he go back, if only she would have told him or at least hinted that she was pregnant…?
Much around the time of twenty years later…
And Jethro still held the phone in his hand, still looking over the scene of two bodies below, only seconds after she spoke the words, had that image of the hotel booted itself into his mind – almost a little too clear, "Nothings going to change my world"… he closed the phone without even uttering a word, did she even deserve it?? – the more painful memory was coming back to no one, nothing about a child, standing on the threshold, much like he was standing now, thinking about the people he cared about just as he was now looking over Dinozzo, David, and Magee; was he selfish for her to wait, or just arrogant to stand over the threshold…waiting; he had imagined their reencounter different –, a long explanation for the things that happened and why she had gone, it was insulting to think he had thought every scenario for why, and it all came down to pressing a button; call ended.
"Nothings going to change my world, nothings going to change my world"