I own nothing you recognize. All original character and storylines are my own.

Special note: I had initially intended this story as a one shot but at the encouragement of my reviewers and a persistent voice in my head telling me to continue I came to the conclusion that there was more to this story. So here it is and I warn you, things are about to get dark.

Falling Apart

As Milla unmade her bed she heard the tell-tale sound of pipes coming down the street and breathed a sigh of relief when they stopped in the driveway. Juice was home later than usual but that was to be expected. The shift in power hadn't been easy on any of them and they had the unenviable duty to make it run smoothly. For her man's sake she hoped it went well; For her father's pride she hoped Jax crashed and burned.

Once she was finished with the bed she stripped off her robe and crawled into bed where she waited. Soon enough she heard his feet on the steps and smiled to herself when she heard the door to Espy's room open. He always went there first when he got home. A few minutes later she heard his light footsteps and looked up as he walked into the room.

"Hey babe." He said quietly as he walked into the room and started removing his clothes. His voice was weary and strained and Milla knew he'd had a trying day. No doubt her conversation with Jax and the others was a contributing factor.

"Hey, long day?" She asked and Juice rolled the muscles in his neck and back before he unbuckled his fatigues.

"Fuck yeah, shit's still not right." He said as he stripped into his boxers then made it to the bed. "How'd it go?"

He asked as he crawled into bed and pulled her so that she was lying against his chest. She melted into him and sighed. She owed him the truth bu she didn't want to tell him what she knew. He had enough shit to deal with.

"I said my peace, they said theirs, it's done. They're out of my life now." She said and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

"You still sure about this all Milla? You can still go back, talk to them. Your Ma will take you back with open arms." At the insistent tone in his voice Milla jerked away from him and turned. When he looked into her eyes he saw anger and betrayal in them and immediately reached out to caress her face. "Listen to me, I know you love your Dad, but you need your Ma. Especially now."

His hand moved from her face and gently rubbed her stomach. His gesture saying more than words. Still she felt anger coursing through her.

"Don't you get it? They. Tried. To. Kill. My. Dad." She emphasized each word as she spoke. "I can never forgive them."

She said the last in a voice that was lost and defeated and Juice pulled her into his arms again. So much was happening, not just to their family but Charming and he just wanted his lady safe. The best way to remain safe would be for her to be surrounded by family and friends, particularly friends with patches on their backs. Instead she opted to separate herself entirely from the Club and even an order from him wouldn't change her mind.

"Then I guess you're out. No more Club shit and no more truth. I can't tell you shit now baby." He ran a hand down her back and felt her nod.

"I know and it's what I want. I'm not a Club woman anymore Carlos, I can't be. Everytime I see the Reaper bile rises in my throat. I love you, but I can't support the Club anymore. I can't handle anymore betrayals." With that she reached a hand up and lightly touched the bruise she'd been hiding so expertly with concealer. Proof of Tara's betrayal and evidence of the change in her husband.

When she touched her cheek Juice flinched, as he remembered what had led to it. He'd been working in the garage when Tara had come up to him and told him that there was something he should know. She'd seen Milla at the family planning clinic in Lodi and when she'd gone to Milla's van later that afternoon she'd seen pamphlets and literature on abortions. It didn't take a genius to realize what Tara had seen. When Juice had confronted Milla with what he heard she didn't deny it. In fact she told him that she'd planned to go through with the abortion. That was how Juice found out he was going to be a father again and that his wife was going to snuff out that new life. In a moment all the pain, rage and angst he''d felt for the last month and a half came out and he hit her, and kept hitting her until she was taken to the ground, sobbing and trying to protect her head and middle. As soon as he stopped he bent down to pick her up and he saw a sight that killed him. She cowered away from him, her eyes wide with fear and betrayal. She didn't say a word to him as she scrabbled away on her hands and feet until she reached the wall and she sat there just staring at him while he repeatedly apologized with tears streaming down his own face. Eventually he couldn't take the look in her eyes anymore and he left the house. When he got back that night he found Milla at the stove making his dinner with sunglasses hiding her eyes.

After that she didn't talk to him for days and refused to look at him. She even slept in Espy's room so she didn't have to share his bed. During this time Juice did everything he could to make it up to her but he didn't know how. He'd raised his hand to her and broken a promise he'd made before they'd even been together. She'd trusted him and believed in him and he'd broken that trust. Eventually she started talking to him again but there was a distance between them that hadn't been lessened yet.

"I'm sorry Mi-" Juice started but she sat up and placed her finger to his lips, silencing him.

"Don't, I've heard it so many times and I know you mean it. Just...just support me with this. Getting away from them and away from the Club is the only way we can move past the shit, the only way we can find any kind of peace." She leaned down to kiss him and let him take charge. Soon enough he had her underneath him with his hand between her thighs. They might not have been at a hundred percent yet but the sex was still their purest form of communication. When he couldn't make love to her anymore, that's when he'd know it was over.

…

"Ok ladies, line up!" She called out as she walked onto the main floor in the studio and surveyed everyone. She smiled and nodded to most of the women but when she saw Ima and Lyla her smile turned to a look of disgust but she shook it off and held up the forms in her hands. "These are your new employment vouchers. The state of California insists that all adult entertainers have them. All I need you to do is sign them and attach a copy of your most recent blood tests and AIDS cards. If you're missing either you're off the roster until you can supply them. Here ya go."

She handed each woman their papers and let them go off to get what they needed, until she got to Lyla and Ima. She smiled at them as she stood in front of them, carrying a different set of paperwork, paperwork that made her viciously happy. Especially since it was all on the laws and bylaws of the state of California, she was just the messenger.

"What I have for you ladies is something different. Come into my office." She found herself grinning evilly as she walked to her office with them trailing behind. Once inside she closed the door behind them and bid them sit.

"What is this Mills?" Lyla asked almost fearfully and Milla almost winced at the familiarity. When the bitch had abandoned Ellie and Kenny she'd lost every bit of Milla's respect.

"First of all it's Mrs. Ortiz and secondly I have some bad news. Neither of you are eligible to work for Big Don Studios or any other adult studio for at least six months. You allowed your AIDS cards to lapse without formal testing and didn't have your blood test results in in the accepted time frame. Having you here is a risk to the talent and we can't have that." She said with fake sympathy before she went into her desk drawer and took out the rest of the packet. "Along with your dismissal paperwork I'm including a severance package. You are no longer employed at Big Don Studios but once the six month ban is done you can come back and audition. If we need someone with your...skillset...we'll hire you back. Any Questions?"

"Why are you doing this you fucking cunt?" Ima asked and Milla clucked her tongue.

"I'm not doing it, the state of California is and if you become abusive I will have security escort you off the premises and you're severance package will be removed." She said as she felt a sadistic thrill go through her at the hopelessness on Lyla's face.

"How can I take care of my son? You're a mother Milla, how can you do this to another mother?" Lyla asked and Milla looked at her steadily.

"Again, this is not me, it's the regulations on the adult film industry as outlined by the state of California. As for how you will raise Piper, I recommend you get clean and move back in with your grandmother. She loves you and is financially stable enough to care for you and your son as you wait out this ban." She said and Lyla looked stricken before Milla handed each woman the severance package.

As they left Lyla remained silent while Ima vowed revenge and Milla just stood in her doorway and watched as Dwight, one of the guards, escorted the women to their dressing rooms. After that she sat down and resumed her day. She had a lot of paperwork to get through.

As the day came to an end Milla felt a restlessness enter her bones. She needed to do something, talk to someone and she knew just who that someone had to be so she made her way to Chantal's office and stood in the doorway while Chantal finished her call. Once she was off the phone she looked at Milla and Milla was too distracted to note the unease that set on Chantal's face.

"Can I help you with anything Milla?" She asked and Milla pushed herself off the doorway and sat across from her best friend.

"Yeah, I'm feeling antsy and need to get out. I was wondering if you'd want to go out for tapas or something after work. Neeta has Espy so I know an hour or two would be fine." As she smiled she saw Chantal's face morph into what could only be labeled as regret.

"I can't Milla, in fact I don't think I'll be able to spend any time with you outside of work anymore." She said it quickly, like ripping off a bandaid. Milla stared for a second as she tried to make sense of what Chantal, her best friend, just told her.

"What?" Milla asked dumbly and a tear leaked from the corner of Chantal's eye.

"I can't spend time with you anymore. I had a long talk with Phil last night and he made it clear to me. If I wanna be a good Old Lady and support him and the Club I have to cut you out. He said you turned your back on the Club." She said in a voice strangled with emotion and Milla looked at her with stricken eyes,

"I turned my back on the Club, but not on you. You're my best friend Chantal, I love you and I know you love me. How can you just ignore our history? How can you abandon me?" Milla asked as tears poured down her cheeks and Chantal swallowed as a new wave of tears choked her.

"I'm just doing what you taught me Milla, I'm standing by my man, supporting him and the Club that we both love. He's the newest patch, things are hard enough for him already. He needs me to stay in line, I can't embarrass him by flaunting a relationship with you." She said imploringly and Milla continued to cry.

"I'm just going civilian, it doesn't mean I'm a traitor. I'm still Milla, I'm still your friend. I've just shifted my loyalties a bit." Milla explained and Chantal nodded.

"That's just it, your loyalties. Don't you get it? We can't trust you now, can't trust that you won't turn on the Club and that's why we have to keep our distance. I can't jeopardize my man's patch by being with you. I love him and this Club too damn much." Chantal said and Milla stood. She knew Chantal well enough to know that this was the end of their debate. Chantal had made her point.

"I love you Chanty and when you realize I'm still the same Milla who loves you unconditionally I'll still be here. Please tell Phil I understand where you stand and I hope one day you'll understand why I made the choice I did." After the farewell she silently made her way out of the office and went back to her own where she locked the door behind her and drew the blinds. She had a broken heart and needed to let the pain out.

…

Juice stood under the spray of the shower, washing away as much evidence as he could. He winced as the water hit the scratches on his back and took a deep breath. He'd fucked up, fucked up big time ad it was his hope that Milla would be too stuck in her own head to pay him attention. As he reached for his shampoo he noticed perfect half-moon indentations on his arm and looked around the shower for something that could remove them. The last thing he wanted was his wife seeing the proof of just how far he'd sunk, to see more reasons to leave.

Quickly grabbing the shampoo he lathered up his head then ran his hands over his body quickly before he grabbed a washcloth and soap. It didn't make a difference though, no matter how hard he scrubbed he couldn't seem to get the whore's smell off his body and he felt his stomach convulse in a dry heave. He was going to lose his wife and he didn't know how ro handle it.

…

Milla walked through the door and mechanically placed her bag on the table by the door and hung her keys on the rack. She felt lost, alone and confused. Cutting the Club from her life was supposed to be a good thing, a way to start fresh without the hate that permeated everything she did. Now she discovered that this choice was going to destroy her and she wouldn't go back to how it was before, she couldn't. As she walked through the house she found a note from Neeta on the kitchen table, she'd taken Espy to Storytime and Milla was grateful. She wouldn't have been a good mommy right now and she needed the time to get back to herself. She needed to digest everything. With a heavy sigh she ascended the steps and noticed Carlod's clothes strewn around the room as soon as she entered the door. It was an odd site. Carlos was a neat freak with OCD who had to fold his clothes and hang them before he could go about his routine. To see them like this shook her. Absently she wandered over the the bed and picked up his shirt and she was immediately assailed by the pungent, mingling scents of pussy and perfume. Not an odd combination when coming from the clubhouse but the strength of the smells was jarring. While she leaned again to pick up his boxers the door opened and Carlos walked out, nervously drying himself with jerky movements. As he turned to her she noticed the obvious bruises on his collar bone, bruises made by another woman's mouth. As her eyes drifted downward she noticed more marks and took a deep breath as her eyes met his. The guilt in those brown eyes told the whole story but she needed more.

"Why?" She asked him as she folded his shirt and set it on the bed before she turned her eyes back to his and he broke down.

"I didn't mean for it to happen, I'm still not entirely sure how it happened. I'd been taking shots with Rat and Phil came over. He told me that the guys were questioning your loyalty and mine and that you were leading me around by the the dick. They said...they said they couldn't trust me if they couldn't trust you and I panicked. I did the only thing I could think of, I showed them I was in control of my own dick. I took one of the new whores back. I wasn't gonna do anything. I swear baby." He pleaded as he looked into his wife's eyes, eyes that had turned cold and distant. "When we got to the room she started rubbing against me and it felt so good that my dick took over. It didn't mean anything, you're the only one who's ever meant anything."

He continued to watch Milla as she sat in the bed and stared ahead of her. She felt so cold, almost as cold as she felt when Donna died and the thought would have scared her...if she wasn't beyond caring. With a deep breath she managed to come to her senses for a brief moment and turned her head to her husband, giving him a look that chilled him to the bone.

"Do you question my loyalty?" She asked him in a voice so pained that he felt like he'd been punched in the gut.

"No baby, I know you'd never rat, I know we can trust you to keep your mouth shut. I know I can trust you." He said with fervor and Milla continued to look at him with eyes that were filled with a pain so raw he winced.

"I...I did everything for you, I loved you and built you a home. I gave you a daughter and risked my life to do it. I know your secret and I keep it because I don't want you hurt or killed. I've stood by you when any other woman would've bailed and you reward my loyalty by fucking a whore...in Charming...in my home..." She said the last softly before she stood and started to leave the room. Juice ran after her and caught up with her as she was putting on her shoes.

"Milla, baby, where are you going? We need to talk about this." He said and when he went to touch her she moved her head up and looked at him with eyes that held no warmth, no spark of life, but she answered him.

"There's nothing more to talk about. I'm going to the library to get my daughter. I may be back and I may not...I'm not sure there's anything here for me anymore." She said softly before she turned her back on him and finished getting ready, then she was out the door.

As Juice watched her go he felt his knees go weak as he stumbled to the couch. He'd lost her...one stupid mistake had taken the other half of his soul away and there was no telling if he could get her back.

….

Author's Note: Wow that took a dark turn, I had something else planned but the muse took over and this came out. I'm thinking there's going to be one more chapter in this story, there might be more but I feel one would round it off nicely. Let me know what you think and, as always I appreciate your feedback. Thank you for reading and reviewing.