They pull up their chairs to the table
She stares at the food on her plate
At the toast and the butter
Her father, her mother, she pushes away
And they rise in the morning
And they sleep in the dark
And even though nobody's looking
She's falling apart
She gets home from school too early
And closes the door to her room
There's nothing inside her
She's weak and she's tired of feeling like this
And they rise in the morning
And they sleep in the dark
And even though nobody's looking
She's falling apart
They call her for dinner, she makes up a reason
She looks at her arms and she rolls down her sleeves
And her mother is starting to see through her lies
And last night her father had tears in his eyes
And they rise in the morning
And they sleep in the dark
And even though nobody's looking
She's falling apart
And we rise in the morning
And we sleep in the dark
And even though nobody's looking
She's falling apart
Falling Apart, Lisa Loeb
Hermione's POV.
Triggering – mentions of eating disorders, suicide and self harm
I sat at the long table in the great hall. Bowls and Plates of food appeared in front of me and it made me sick to my stomach to look at it. So not to arouse suspicion I put a piece of toast on my plate. I picked up my knife and buttered my toast. I stared at it as I just traced my knife around the edge of the crust. I got sick of this and put my knife down. I glanced up at the head table to find Snape and McGonagall watching me with interest. I hated the way they were watching me so I got up and ran back to my room. I went and sat in my bathroom for hours just crying. Life is too hard.
All of Hogwarts rises in the morning and falls to sleep at night. Nobody sees how I am falling apart. Nobody sees how much life and such bothers me. Nobody knows how I became like this.
Class became too much for me today. Malfoy bumped into my brittle frame and knocked me over. Snape give him detention and asked me if I was ok. Behind his back Malfoy was mouthing the word fat to me. I looked back at Severus and swiftly got up and ran into Myrtles bathroom. I transfigured my watch into a blade and brought it down across my wrist. It's the only way to feel when there is nothing left inside of you. I try to stand after w while of sitting on the floor thinking. I shake so much as I stand on my two feet. I'm weaker than I thought. I can't go on like this, why can't I just die.
All of Hogwarts rises in the morning and falls asleep at night. People are starting to notice how a falter and how I go about my business. I will do anything to protect the secrets I have held inside. McGonagall tells me my body is a temple, well most temples aren't so brittle they could collapse with a slight bump. I get asked if I have eaten and where I am going all the time, I don't understand why you can't all leave me alone like you use to. Harry and Ron never cared that I was falling apart. They left and created more of a hole in my heart.
Dumbledore is worried and is now making me eat my meals with Snape. I can't deal with his black eyes following my every movement. We sit across from one another as the house elves bring out the food. I say I have a stomach ache but he still tells me to at least have a bit. Under the table I run my hands over the scars I have created along my wrist. I slightly lift my shirt the feel them. I sensed Snape's eyes on my and raised my head to find my suspicions where true. I roll down my sleeves. He asks me what I was doing. I try to find an excuse and eventually said I was unbuttoning my sleeve buttons but I know he sees through my lies. Everyone is starting to see through them and my condition is slowly becoming known. I could swear I saw tears in Snape's eyes as his put his head down to eat.
All of Hogwarts rises in the morning and falls asleep at night. I can see the way the student body looks at me as if I am contagious. They don't get how much they emotionally hurt me and how that emotionally pain becomes physical pain. Some professors are now noticing how I starve myself to rid my body of sin. I wish things could go back to the way they use to be when I was almost invisible and nobody could care less about me.
All of Hogwarts rises in the morning and falls asleep at night. I was taken to the hospital wing today by Snape. He told me he would never leave me until I became better. I trust him I think and it comforts me to know someone cares. They placed bandages around my wrists and started me on a diet because if I had kept going I was surely going to die. I am supposed to be here for another 2 weeks to be monitored and after that I am aloud to move into Snape's quarters to be monitored and to have his company. My past is black and even though men are hard to trust I find myself liking Severus more and more everyday.