''Is it my fault?'' Allison asked with a shaking voice, looking at Cuddy.
''No, of course not.'' Cuddy said, with sympathy, laying her hand on Allison's.
''I should have checked on him earlier.'' She pulled her hand away, wiping away the tears.
Before Cuddy could contradict her, the door swung open.
''Allison, you can seem him.'' Nurse Brenda said, still in a way Allison questioned if she even cared as they were on House's team after all. She nodded at Cuddy, stood up and left her office.
''Is he awake?'' Alison had to make big steps to keep up with Brenda. Nurse Brenda didn't answer, suddenly entered a room and Allison turned to the room, her eyes moving between Robert in the bed and the neurologist writing some things in the file. Robert's head was wrapped in a lot of layers of bandage and the monitors around him were the only other sounds beside the scribbling of the doctors pen. Numerous lines and tubes were going to his body and she tried to think those away, so she could only imagine him waking up in a few seconds, complaining about the beeps keeping him awake.
''How is he?'' For a second he seemed to recognize her, she had also seen him before in the hallways.
''The bleeding was really severe. We managed to stop it by surgery.'' He mumbled than, reading over the pages very fast; ''We are not sure what damage the bleeding has done and we only can determine that when he comes out of the coma he is in. The only complication we found thus far is that his right hand seems to be paralyzed. ''
Allison sat down on the chair, defeated. ''Do you have any idea when he will wake up?'' She asked, although she was pretty sure that the doctor couldn't determine it either.
''He shows some signs of consciousness and the Glasgow coma scale scored 6. I have trust that he will wake up.'', was all the doctor said. The footsteps was the last thing she heard and slowly she moved the chair towards the bed, grabbing his hand, holding on to it as if it was her lifeline. Her thumbs rubbed over the back of his hand. How many times had she seen couples in this situation? How many times had she been sitting next to a hospital bed already, waiting for her previous husband to inescapably give up the fight.
''Rob, wake up, please.'' She whispered, looking at his face. He seemed so peaceful, as if he was sleeping. Letting one of her hands go from his hand, she reached for the report card, giving up after a few seconds and holding his hand again.
''Rob, please, wake up.'' She cried again, laying her head on his chest now, listening to his heart, the only sign to show he was alive.
...
''House, I don't even know how to talk about this.'' Cuddy shook her head, looking away from the man on the other side of the desk. For two days, she had tried to think this conversation through, to practice what to say and to expect House's answers, but instead she was sitting here without anything to say. The hospital board wanted her to give him the blame.
''Then we don't talk about this.'' House stood up, wanted to walk away.
''Don't you dare to set a foot out of this office!'' Cuddy said, demanding, loud.
House sat down again, annoyed, mimicking Cuddy.
''Why didn't you do anything when Chase said he hit his head?''
House rolled his eyes; ''Maybe because it happens to the best of us.''
''Did you miss the lesson in med school in which they informed you about head trauma's?''
''Obviously, Chase missed it.'' House said, shrugging.
''You really don't care?'' Cuddy said, looking like she could hardly believe him.
''Blaming me isn't going to make Chase any better.'' House stood up this time, walking out of the room, leaving Cuddy furious behind. Cuddy shook her head, not even knowing for sure if House was the one to blame, or if there even was somebody to blame. But the hospital board needed somebody to blame. Her pen circled a little longer before she threw it all aside, not able to make a decision.
House limped to his office, looking around, surprised to see Foreman missing. Even when Foreman had nothing to do he was usually hanging out in the office. In the bookcase, one books pulled his attention. Chase's book. The book he was always reading when they had nothing to do. house had laughed at him for reading a book about crusades but now he grabbed the book, starting to read it.
Allison walked into the diagnostics office, wanted to turn around immediately when she saw house sitting there, reading a book. House looked up to her. Stubborn as she was, she decided to go on, walking into the office, ignoring House. She walked to the bookcase, looking at the back of the books.
''Where is Chase's book?'' House looked up to her, pulling a very dumb face.
''Give it here.'' She pointed at the book he was holding in his hands.
''It is boring. Could get somebody in a coma.'' He handed it to her and Allison snatched the book out of his hands. ''Too soon?'' He yelled after her while she stormed out of the office, holding onto Chase's crusade book as if it was her treasure.
House sighed, although it was easier to act like he didn't care, it hurt him as well.
Wilson entered; ''I ran into Allison in the hallway, could it have something to do with you that she was crying?''
''Could be, or the fact that her husband is in a coma.''
Wilson rolled his eyes; ''Really, House? Can't you give the girl a break? Make up with her, talk to her. Just apologize even I know you would never take the blame for it. ''
''Chase is a doctor, he should have known that he should have looked for help, now leave me alone. I need to make my own coffee as my barista is not available.''
''You are an ass.'' Wilson sighed, walking out of the room.
House turned around, knowing this was the easiest way to be left alone, which he wanted to be. He wanted to think, go over the afternoon over and over again, thinking what he could have done to save Chase. There was a lot he could have done. One, Chase never should have gone to the house. The only reason he had send him there was because he liked to screw with Chase and then looking at Allison's annoyance. The diagnosis was there as soon as Chase had left and House had already known it when he send him away. Second, when Chase came back, he should have checked him.
House shook his head, walking into his office, trying to find a way to make himself free from the guilt, to blame somebody else.
...
Robert slowly opened his eyes, looking around and standing up, scared as he was not where he expected to be. Instead of waking up in his bed, he was in a strange place. The bedroom seemed familiar, but he couldn't remember where he had seen it before. His limbs seemed so heavy that he had to do a lot of effort to get out of the bed and looking around he suddenly remembered that it was his bedroom, but he hadn't slept there for over a decade. It was his bedroom in Melbourne. How did he get here? Slowly he continued his way down the stairs.
''I am not coming back!''
''Rowan, please!''
Halfway the stairs there was a teenage boy. He was sitting with his jaw on his knees, listening to the yelling from the kitchen. Robert sat down next to himself, looking at the still small, slim youngster. He could still remember the moment his dad walked out and older Robert jumped up when the kitchen door banged open and his dad walked to the front door.
''Robert.'' Rowan Chase just nodded his son, opening the door.
''Rowan! Don't do this!'' His mother came running from the kitchen while Rowan Chase closed the front door behind him. She sat down against the door, crying hysterically. His younger self jumped up next to him, running up the stairs, slamming the door behind him shut.
His older self didn't move, all he could do was looking at his crying mother. Her voice was not the only female voice he heard, there seemed to be another in the background.
...
Allison closed the book, threw it on the nightstand as she grabbed his hand; ''Robert?'' but his soft moaning had only been there for a second and the only sound were the beeping monitors again. But she was sure she heard it.
The doctor had already told her that Robert was moaning every now and then, but that she shouldn't expect it to be a sign of him waking up. Hopeless she laid his hand back on the bed and left the room, hopeless and tired. She hadn't been sleeping for the last two days since he went into the coma and she didn't know what to do anymore. Leaving the hospital there was another person sneaking into Chase's room, sitting down next to the bed. His duckling seemed to be sleeping, although everybody knew better. House swallowed when he saw how fragile Chase looked in the big bed, alive because of machines that gave his body what he need.
The monitors beeped every now and then and slowly House grabbed the book from his nightstand. He opened it, looked at the name written in the cover of the book.
''Oh, why am I even trying this?'' He sighed. All he wanted was for Chase to wake up, so he could hopefully lose a small part of the guilt he was feeling.
Slowly he started reading the book out loud, hoping there was a way to reach his duckling.
...
NOTE: First of all, I have been doing research and it is not clear wetter people can dream in a coma or not. Some people say they can, some say they can't. For this story, he can dream and hear the voices around him. After all, it is FICTION. Other than that, I try to keep it as realistic as possible. Though, I am not doing anything that has to do with medicine, so I am sorry if it is not.
So, here is chapter two. Thanks for your comments on chapter 1! I am glad you like it and I hope you like this chapter as well.
Thanks for reading, please leave a review!