"Wtf married?" said some undesired GIRL voice behind them.
Sora and his newfound pimp were eating Sora's mom's sammiches when they turned around to see Kairi, the designated third side of the love triangle (according to the official storyline.) ... Now she was just the third wheel. Heck yes. And she was holding a wedding invitation in her hand.
"YEAH, WE GETTIN' MARRIED KAIRI. YOU WANNA BE OUR FLOWER GIRL~?"
Now Kairi had always expected Sora to eventually ask her a question involving marriage but THIS
THIS WAS NOT WHAT SHE EXPECTED. OH HELL NU.
She got down on her knees Darth Vader style and stretched her arms to the sky, screeching a lengthy "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!111ONE!1 DOOOO NUT WANNNTTTTTTT"
"... U mad?" the pimp-dark-emo-man Riku said with genuine surprise.
Because of all these characters' Japanese descent, Kairi was able to angrily thwack the side of Riku and Sora's heads, knocking off Riku s amazing hawt pimp hat, before stamping off and bawwing the entire time... all in FREAKING ANIME STYLE. Cause, you know, Japanese descent.
"WAIT WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA HAVE A GIRL TALK OR SOMETHING AFTER THIS?" called out Sora in anguish.
"F***TARD I'M GOING FOR A DRINK."
And with that Kairi went to the FREAKING BAR.
AYE, BAR . GUY .. GIMME YOUR STRONGEST, a depressed now-third-wheel Kairi slurred to the bartender before her for the fifteenth time that night.
So, yeah. Kairi was at the bar now, gettin drunk because apparently the two guys who had been fighting over her for years had suddenly decided to DITCH HER FOR YAOI-NESS. WHICH WAS LIKE, REALLY MEAN OF DEM.
You know, logic tells me I shouldn t be serving a 16 year old girl her fifteenth shot for the night but hey, since when did adults OR children give a flying s*** about each other on this island?~ the bartender said rather cheerfully. I LL GO GET ANOTHER ONE FOR YOU, LITTLE ADORABLE DRUNK GIRL. And so he skipped into the back of his store to get more vodka.
Meanwhile, a now drunken Kairi was taking off her tank-top and jeans because it was getting REALLY HOT IN HERE, and besides, that one baseball player on the poster in the other side of the room seemed to be checking her out. She might as well HELP HIM OUT, Y KNOW? Hai thar sexy~ You wanna make some paper babiez?
Just then, Organization XIII strolled into the bar because Saix was on an emotional high after being chosen as the top drag queen in his tournament. And so, as a reward for all his homeys support, he was taking them out for a nice refreshing alcoholic intake in the middle of the night. Which was something they could afford to do, since, you know, THEY DIDN T NEED CARS TO GET AROUND.
And that s when they saw a half-undressed Kairi making out with a baseball athlete s poster. Wtf.
"Ya know, I TOLD you we shoulda gone to Denny's..." said an awkward Xigbar. "They don't got the insane ones..."
Saix, meanwhile, was not being his straight-faced self. But ya know, he was a drag queen. With no emotions. But he loves hearts. A lot. A LOT. Especially hearts that are moon-like. That turns him on so much.
Axel was making glances at Roxas, who had gotten kicked out of Sora's body due to not being "Dark and edgy" enough for him to care about.
-Meanwhile-
"Oh Rik-" and then the rest was censored. Cause we can't show sexual stuff. That's too much writing. But as you can tell, Sora and Riku are doing the obvious stuff. Now back to the story!
-Back To The Actual Stuff-
Vexen was being all smug with himself, and took out his ice shield. Marluxia later used said shield as a mirror. Because Marluxia must always look perfect.
Taking a seat, Luxord and Demyx started a poker game. Strip Poker. We'll get back to them at a later point.
Meanwhile the rest of the organization was quite enthralled by Kairi's slutty performance. After all, the only girl they knew was Larxene (since Marluxia couldn't REALLY count) and she was too b****y for them to really WANT to bang her anyway, and who WANTED to bang Marluxia when practically everyone in the org. was allergic to flower pollen?
Upon analyzing all these facts, the organization made a decision.
Saix pulled Kairi's face from the poster and stared into her eyes. "WOMAN IS YOUR HEART MOON-FLAVORED?"
"It can be anything you want it to be~" slurred Kairi, under the impression that her baseball make-out boyfriend had come to life.
Hearing this, Saix slung the drunk half-naked girl over his shoulder and ran to the bat mobile- I MEAN BLACK PORTAL OF DOOM- calling out to the rest of his homies.
"GAIZ WE GOT A GURL TO BANG NOW LET'S RUN OFF BEFORE THE ADULTS HERE ACTUALLY DO START TO CARE ABOUT THEIR OFFSPRING."
So everyone DID THAT.