Murphy's Law
Chapter 2 or Follow That Mage!
Athkatla. Sweet Sune, I hate Amn. Mirtul 1.
Now I know I swore I'd never hunt down a certain crazy mage with a penchant for torturing, spell slinging, killing, and pickling. I swore I'd be good. And I vaguely remember swearing to fade into sunset and never go adventuring again, but that might have just been wishful thinking on my part. Anyway, I know I swore the first two if any of the Gods could find it in their mercy to see me to freedom and spare me from pickling. I even remember begging Tymora to let us be friendly and withhold her grudge against me. Apparently I'm the only one who remembers this…
Jaheira and Minsc started talking about revenge and rescue after the Robed Jerks teleported away. Gods, I hate mages. Just because you have the ability to teleport, doesn't mean walking is prohibited! Anyway, after swearing and avowing and whatever, everybody looked at me, like I'm supposed to jump on this crazy wagon and cement the quest to hunt down Irenicus and rescue Imoen. I said I liked cats… Yeah, I kinda panicked. Yoshimo was oddly quiet. Jaheira hit me… hard. Breathing is still difficult. She can so forget her thank you gift now! You can't save a life only to abuse it later. It's just not done! Minsc said he liked that I wanted an animal friend like Boo, but a cat might want to eat Boo. Then he asked my opinion on ice weasels… He winked and told me to think about it… I'm slightly scared for my safety now. Partly because Jaheira is dragging us to the slums now. To gather information. Information to find both Irenicus and Imoen. Despite my protests about promises to the Gods. She's smiling now… Gods, I hate that smile.
Slums, Still Better than a Sewer I Guess. Athkatla. Night of Mirtul 1.
My feet hurt. I'm being forced to hunt down a completely psychotic mage. And rescue the only other being besides Tymora that has dedicated a majority of her time to making my life comparable to the Abyss. Jaheira's mad at me. And I have no idea what that was I just stepped in…
Maybe I should clarify. You see, Little Paper, we have just spent the last… oh, let's say four hours, trekking our way to the slums, then walking around looking for someone shady enough to maybe possibly know something. With our packs full of stuff we looted from the Sewer Torture Shack and the bodies the Mad Teleporter left behind. Stop to sell the loot? Perish that crazy thought, so sayeth the Mighty Jaheira! I thought I was the one who was usually put in charge. Then some strange man who likes to say "Coo!" comes up and asks if we know a Murphy. Obviously not thinking I say "Murphy? Hey! That's my name!" This causes Jaheira to hit me again… harder… with her staff… leaving me wheezing… on the ground. Anyway, Coo! has information for us at his house. Says it's too dangerous for out in the open. Yoshimo vouches for him though. But I'll admit I'm still a bit… What? And candy? Sweet! To the strange man's slum house!
The Coo-est Slum House. No Candy? Tymora, Not Again!
Well, no candy. Lying bastard. I should have known it was a trap. Whenever there are promises of candy, it's always a trap. Although as traps go this isn't half bad. No one's dead. We're still hunkered down with loot. And no one is imprisoned. It is a little wordier than usual, but… I guess I can't complain too much. The house isn't too bad either. A little dusty. Could use some curtains. Maybe a new area rug. Something with a design… Why is everyone looking at me? Oh, Gods! I didn't say that out loud, did I?!? Maybe if I stay silent… What gold? When was there mention of gold? And why is the amount so reasonable… … 20 WHAT?!? When did that become a reasonable amount? I hardly have 100… Maybe Imoen being in whatever prison is a good thing. She'll learn how to be a productive, adjusted member of society… And now we have to raise 20,000 gold to meet someone who will find Imoen and the other guy… Thanks, Jaheira. You so just lost your gift fruit!
Waukeen's Promenade. Were there this many shops yesterday? Mirtul 2.
Galen, my Coo!-ky contact (I'm SO clever!), let us sleep at his house last night. His nephew was supposed to take us somewhere, but it was late and the kid was asleep. I think it was partly because he wanted to hit on Jaheira. I don't blame him. She's kinda pretty… when she's not talking.
Anyway, the kid couldn't stop talking about some circus being in town. It's in someplace called Waukeen's Promenade. I asked where that was. He said it was the place we blew up. Stupid brat. No wonder he has to live with his slumlord uncle, his own parents can't stand him… Hmm, that sounds kinda mean. Galen's okay… at least he doesn't seem like a slumlord to me. And I'd like to think I'm a pretty good judge of people. Except for the Koveras/Sarevok thing… and those wolf people… and Imoen… and that bard Silke… and Eldoth… and I really thought Skie was way smarter than she let on… but I'm a pretty good judge, I think. Anyway, the brat ditched us as soon as we got here, still yakking something about the circus…
Well, we finally got to sell the useless junk we've been hauling since yesterday. Galen said he had a friend in his place we could sell to, but he seemed too shifty to me. I doubt he'd give us a good deal… he'd probably steal our stuff and run off. Anyway, lots of shops in that Promenade place. We settled at some little shop in the center owned by a woman named Mira. We would have gone to the Adventurer's Mart, but apparently the owner, Ribald Barterman, and Jaheira can't be in the same room together. Ok, that has to be a fake name. There's no parent on Torril that hates their kid that much… Well, maybe Bhaal might. But it's a good thing, I like Mira. She implied that I was virile, which I think is a compliment. I'd like to think she was flirting. She did call me handsome, and said I must make girls swoon. Someone made a gagging sound. I didn't care. This was the first time since that ship in Baldur's gate I thought a girl was hitting on me and those two were Void worshippers… I still feel bad about having to kill them. Although there was that werewolf who wanted me to get her flowers, but I think she just wanted me to leave her alone. Oh, well, I managed to convince everyone to go to the circus. Should be a decent break. I wonder if they're hiring… I've always wanted to be a trapeze artist… or the Strong Man.
P.S. Mira sold me a journal. For my "exploits" she said. I REALLY like Mira.
P.P.S. Adding Scrappy to the front. We've been through so much, it's only right. It's kinda like my Boo that doesn't talk back...
The Circus… I think… I hope…Mirtul 2.
I regret thinking the circus was a good idea now. We are now in some place that reminds me of the Windy Room, the one from the sewer lair. Only this doesn't seem as rickety. Or as windy. And there's some building. It's kinda palace like. But it does have a djinni. With a penchant for riddles. What the hells is up with all the djinn? And why do they all have a damned riddle just for me?
Circus's Palace. I'll never get to run away and join the circus, will I? Mirtul 2.
Are ogres allowed to cry? I mean, just because someone asks why you sound like girl, doesn't mean you have to break down and cry like one. Oh, sorry. It's not an ogre, it's an elf. A winged elf. HA! And I'm a blind folk hero. Oh, and it's chained and it needs its key. Which is a sword. Held by monster peasants. Yeah, I'll go do that after I see The Great Gazib and The Amazing Oopah again. Illusions… Ha.
Circus Palace Again. Never again shall I doubt the word of an ogre. Mirtul 2.
Holy Celestia, it… she was right. There was a talking spider who has a kid outside. Minsc said we'd help her. And something about stealing little boys' mommies. I always suspected he had issues that didn't come from a head wound. Anyway, we found the peasants and they attacked us. Well, they followed us around and tried to bite us. Someone hit one of them and it turned out it was an orc. Jaheira took the sword to the ogre. And I'll be damned but it… well, I guess it's a she… whatever. It really was an elf. Didn't see any wings, but I'm sure there will be time to ask about that later. You know after, we rescue her uncle and the circus from Kolor or whoever. I wonder if all ogres are really pretty little elves…
Actual Circus. Kinda Really Disappointing. Mirtul 2.
So turns out, the circus was overrun by a gnome. An Illusionist gnome. Who was a clown. Go figure. Anyway he has some villain's exposition or something about power promised, kingdoms, and whatnot. I'm not paying attention. I'm more surprise that Aerie, the ogre/elf/girl thing, has a gnome for an uncle. A gnome I know. I thought Quayle was dead. I mean, those villagers actually formed a mob. A real mob… With torches and pitchforks and everything… Although, I'm not sure if I'm surprised or not that Quayle doesn't seem to remember me. He was always a little self absorbed. Might be a good thing. I really don't need another mage with an Anti-Murphy agenda after me. Besides, that mob had pitchforks and torches. I did say everyone for themselves…
Government District. Athkatla. How many districts does one city need? Still Mirtul 2.
Well, Aerie joined us. Apparently it was time for the little bird to finally leave the nest. Well, at least she's a cleric. And she's got two Gods apparently. And some skills in magery. Great. Just what I need. Another multitasker to make me look like a slacker.
Anyway, I thought that since these Robed Jerks, the Cowled something or other, could arrest someone; they must be a faction of the government. Jaheira looked astonished after I said that. Minsc was petting Boo. Aerie… Well, I don't know her very well, but she seems quiet. And easily shocked. But that might be because Jaheira hit me after I asked if anyone knew where the spider lady was. Yoshimo said he knew where we could probably find one of the higher ups. It's a fancy government building. We got sent around to a lot of different clerks. I got dizzy from confusion and had to sit down. Minsc joined me and began telling me the benefits of owning an ice weasel. So now Jaheira's yelling at someone who's not a member of the party. It's good she has a hobby. Although we're being asked to leave by armed guards. And now we're being escorted out of the fancy government building by the aforementioned armed guards. Hmm? Aw man! Now she wants to talk to me about death again…
P.S. Why can't she collect coins?
Prison. Well, JUST outside of the prison. Government District. Athkatla. Mirtul 2.
Well, I met another blast from the past: Viconia DeVir, Priestess of Shar, and Drow. She was tied to a stake and was going to be burned. I always knew that big mouth of hers would get us into trouble. She, thanks to Tymora , recognized me. Truthfully, I wasn't in the mood for a public execution. That and for what I remembered, Viccy wasn't too bad to be around. Although I have recently have had reason to suspect my memory is a bit hazy. But I set her free. The people who were going to burn her weren't happy. Apparently, they're followers of Beshaba, the goddess of ill fortune. Now this little piece of information, it started to give me a theory. Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to fine tune it, as they attacked us. Oddly enough, Viccy killed most of them. Now she wants to join us. Minsc thinks she's our responsibility now. Jaheira doesn't seem to care. Aerie is freaking out. I think she's about to cry. And Viconia's taunting really isn't helping. Yoshimo really didn't have anything to say. Which struck me as kinda odd, but I suppose he has his reasons. Hmm. With me abstaining from the vote, it appears to be 2:1… Well, 3:1 if I count Boo… Oh, well. I guess she's coming with us. She seems happy about that. At least I think so… I mean she is smiling. Albeit at Aerie, but it's still smiling. Odd. I seem to have developed a strong sense of foreboding… Did someone just pinch my butt? Hmm. Probably just my armor. Jaheira seemed to think I should sport the one leather that didn't fit anyone else in the group and pinches regularly, usually in rather… uncomfortable… areas… I think it's because of my cat comment…
Copper Coronet. Slums. Athkatla. Night of Mirtul 2.
Well, I had a big day today, so I'm kinda glad we're staying in an inn. Don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm ungrateful to Galen for letting us crash at his place, but I'm really glad I'll finally be able to sleep in a bed instead of the floor… Well, that and I'm fairly certain one of his dust bunnies tried to smother me in my sleep…
Anyway, this place is really weird. I take one step through the door, and I got 2 new party members and a bunch of quests thrown at me. First off this guy Anomen starts yakking to me about glory and what not. I said forget glory, I just really want a nap. He seemed to think this was unacceptable and immediately declared himself to be a member of the party. Something about instilling honor or making me a man. I forget because soon he recognized Viccy's race. He kinda reminded me of some paladin I think I knew. A- something… Alabama, Ajuice, Ajax…Ajantis! Both are into Helm, both want to be knights of some "Order" and both seem to have it in for Viccy. Although I don't seem to recall there being a lot of sexual tension when Viccy and Ajantis fought. I mean, I don't think Ajantis stared at her chest as he yelled at her for being a heretic… But then some little rich girl comes up to us and demands us to help her and her Keep. Normally, I just would have told her off, but she offered a really large sum of money. I think I might have wet myself when someone spoke up to accept it. She joined us saying we needed her to "show us The Way." I have no idea what she means by that… But it does give me another sense of foreboding. Then again SHE just gives me a strong sense of foreboding… Nalia, the girl, recognized Anomen. Great, now I have two noble's kids hanging around. Some lord guy came up and offered us 10,000 gold to clear his land of monsters. He seemed to have difficulty keeping a straight face. Minsc agreed this one. Nalia had an opinion. I've known her for five minutes and I can already tell she has an opinion on EVERYTHING. Mostly because she's told me lots of them. Her biggest concerns were my fashion choices, her Keep, and poor people. Anyway, we finally are at the bar. The owner, Lehtinan, is really… enthusiastic about his inn. Very enthusiastic. So enthusiastic, he comes off as creepy. At least we got rooms. Minsc is feeding Boo. Yoshimo disappeared. I think he said something about a card game. Anomen is trying to convert Viconia again. Jaheira is scolding Aerie. And Nalia is whining about her Keep. Yeah, I get it! Your daddy's rich! You have a Keep! I'm going to bed. If she doesn't shut up, I swear I'm going to tell her the Keep is probably overrun by now… Although, she's very vague about what's going on there. She just keeps talking about poor people and her Keep… Oh, great. I think I've just been recruited to deal with a peasant's revolt. Just. Great…
A/N: Yay! And there's another chapter. I know it's not much and there are longer entries, but really there wasn't a whole lot of questing. Ha! Bet you thought his female attention would be from some other that Mira the Shopkeeper. It's a little nod to the Romantic Encounters MOD. Mira's one of my favorites. I don't know why but it always makes me giggle. Anyway, I still don't have much to say. Other than Murphy doesn't really have a class. He just says different gods' names in vain. He just an Adventurer. Mostly because I didn't want him to have a stronghold. He said adventuring was thankless work. Also thanks to the reviewers! That's the most reviews I have ever gotten for a story, so Much Thanks! Also if anyone wants to see a specific quest or NPC join up, let me know. I'm really just making this up as I go along.