CHAPTER 2
It feels like an eternity later when we land in California, but with the time difference, it is only 10:30pm in the evening, as we leave the plane.
I feel totally exhausted but I brighten and summon the energy I need as I see my dad waiting on the tarmac, with the floodlights illuminating the area it's as bright as day, even though the sun set a couple of hours ago, my breath catches at the sight of him, his strong straight body, muscular and slightly intimidating.
He is standing with his arms folded gazing intently at the plane and his mouth lifts into a smile as he sees me, I run down the steps towards him and he unfolds his arms holding them out to me as I run into them, he picks me up and swings me around.
"Hi, Daddy!" I squeal as I cling to him.
"Eva, sweetheart," he says gruffly as he holds me.
"Hi Victor," Cary says from behind me, I feel my father set me down and release me to greet Cary.
"Hello, Cary," he says. as he shakes Cary's hand warmly.
My dad's attention is grabbed by Raul who is standing a few feet away, just unobtrusively observing, I take a deep breath, and introduce him.
"Dad this is Raul, he works for Gideon," I pause at the frown which crosses my dad's forehead, he holds out his hand silently and Raul steps forward, simply nods an acknowledgement and shakes my dad's hand.
"How did you manage to park here?" I ask, looking at the prime spot my dad is parked in, and desperately trying to regain the happy atmosphere from a few moments previously.
He shrugs, "I have no idea, Cross called me and asked if I was meeting you when you landed, I said I was, and he told me you were coming in on his plane and that I was to meet you here, so he must have arranged it".
My dad opens the trunk of his car and throws our bags in. I watch as Raul climbs into an SUV parked up a few feet away which has obviously been left for him. It doesn't escape me that my dad is watching him as well. I wonder what he makes of all this, the private jets and bodyguards, it's so far removed from the life he knows, but all part of the package of being associated with Gideon Cross.
We climb into the car and head to my dad's house, and I notice that Raul is following us at a discreet distance and from the glances in the rear-view mirror my dad keeps making, he is also aware of Raul's presence.
As we are driving towards my father's house, I notice that he keeping glancing at my hand, I realise he has spotted my ring and this is confirmed when he finally speaks. I can see that he is carefully considering his words but his emotions are betrayed by his hands grip the steering wheel so tightly it is making his knuckles turn white.
"Is that an engagement ring?" he asks me tightly.
I immediately glance at Cary through the rear-view mirror.
"Erm..." I begin.
My father looks at me and I feel uncomfortable and as I shift in my seat, I feel my face flush furiously. He immediately pulls over and puts the car into park and turns towards me.
"Eva, this isn't a hard question, is that an engagement ring? I know that Cross was going to ask you at some point, because he asked me for my blessing, but from what he said and the assurances he gave me, I assumed it wouldn't be for a while, and yet here you are wearing that rock," he stops and waits for me to answer him, and he is giving me his 'cop look', the intimidating one with his eyebrows raised which never fails to make me feel guilty.
"Tell him baby girl," Cary mutters, and my father glances from me to Cary and back again, but he doesn't say anything, he just waits for me to tell him.
I take a deep breath, ok, here goes, "Erm… Last weekend, Gideon and I eloped, we got married in the Caribbean, and this is the ring Gideon gave me then," I say in a rush and then stop and wait for the reaction, my dad gasps in disbelief, but I continue before he has the chance to respond.
"We did it because we wanted something just for us, just me and Gideon, no press, no people who would be making trouble, no nothing, but I know it also meant leaving out the people closest to me, but it was the same for him, he had no family or friends there either, we wanted it to be just us, we are doing it again for everyone else, but we needed it to be just us, do you understand me?" I know I am rambling and repeating myself but I need to make it clear to him why we did it the way we did, and the way he is just staring at me is freaking me out a little.
I stare right back at my dad as I try and read his reaction and then I look at Cary, Cary looks at me and smiles, he is pleased I have told him, and he reaches towards me and pats my shoulder reassuringly, I look back towards my father, he looks destroyed, and that devastation quickly evolves into anger, the like I have never seen before.
"YOU DID WHAT?!" he bellows, and I shrink back into my seat.
"I have taken your name too, just as you always wanted, when I married Gideon, I became Eva Lauren Tramell Reyes Cross" I stammer, trying to give him something to latch on to, but at this moment he is just way too angry.
"You still get to give me away daddy, when we do it again," I whisper as I bravely reach out and touch his arm, but I go cold as he yanks his arm out of my reach.
"That is what I was working up to, that is what I was expecting after he approached me, but not yet, not for a long time yet, and he lied to me, he told me it wouldn't be yet and then as soon as I've gone, he just takes you! To just run off and just marry without saying anything, he just took you, this is... He lied to me and, I feel as though he has stolen something from me!" he spits bitterly and he slams his hand down on the steering wheel.
I can't help it, tears stream down my face at his words, and the fact he pulled away from me, my dad has never pulled away from me, I don't hear anything apart from a buzzing sound in my head as he continues to rant, I vaguely hear Cary trying to calm him down. I want to speak to tell him it wasn't like that, and to try and defend Gideon, but no words will come out, and so I just sit and sob.
As if on cue, my phone rings and cuts through the fog I am feeling, Gideon's name appears on the screen, and with shaking hands I answer.
"Hi... can I call you back, now is not a good time," I stammer between sobs.
"Eva? Angel what's wrong, what has happened? You will tell me now," I hear the anxiety in Gideon's tone as soon as he speaks, but also something darker, something more dangerous, he wants to know what has upset me and he wants to fix it, he wants to eradicate whatever it is that has made me unhappy.
"Gideon please, not now, I promise I will call you," I beg.
"No! Answer me," he snaps.
My dad's head whips around and he stares angrily at my phone, then he looks up at me as he points at it.
"Is that him now?" he asks, his voice thick with emotion and anger.
I nod at him, unable to say anything, my anxiety now totally out of control as I am stuck in the middle of two of the three men I love most in the world.
My father wordlessly holds out his hand for my phone, he is radiating the full authority of the police officer he is, and silently I place it into his outstretched hand. I watch as he glances at the screen and then he presses the speaker button so I can hear the full conversation.
As he presses it, Gideon's clipped shout fills the car.
"GOD DAMN IT EVA, TALK TO ME,"
"Shut the hell up Cross, you are on speaker," my father spits derisively, there is immediate silence and I wait, I'm holding my breath at what is going to happen next, I glance once more at Cary who is watching my father intently.
"You and I need to talk," my father adds coldly.
"Victor" Gideon says, his tone now businesslike, I marvel at the way he can switch gears in a heartbeat, "I take it that Eva has told you that we have married," he says confidently.
"She has" my father spits, and then he embarks on a vicious rant telling Gideon what he thinks of him and our decision.
"Victor, STOP" Gideon says as my father pauses for breath, my father is so shocked by the tone that he is stunned into silence and Gideon quickly takes charge of the conversation.
"First of all, I understand totally how upset you are and I am not belittling that or dismissing you but first and most importantly, I need to speak to my wife, Eva, Angel, are you there, can you hear me?" he says, his tone softening considerably, I nod forgetting that he can't see me.
I try and pull myself together, "I'm right here, I hear you" I sob.
"Oh Angel" he groans, "Please don't cry, it shreds me when you cry."
There is a brief silence and when he speaks again the low intimate voice full of love is gone and he speaks with the no nonsense business tone he previously used.
"Victor, I understand your reservations and I accept that you have every right to feel the way you do about what we did, but I will not have you taking your anger and resentment out on Eva, I will not have my wife feeling like she has to choose between her father and her husband, or feeling ashamed about her decision to marry me, so, you want someone to take it out on, you take it out on me, I was the one who arranged for us to elope," he stops speaking and waits.
This seems to register with my father and his gaze softens as he looks at me sobbing quietly, and he reaches for me with his free hand and squeezes my hand. The relief I feel at that small gesture is immense, my dad doesn't hate me.
"You have a sister?" my father states in a slightly less confrontational way.
"You know I do, you've met her," Gideon replies curtly.
"How would you feel if your sister eloped with a man you knew nothing about, who she had known for about five minutes, and who you had serious reservations about, who you didn't believe was good enough for her?" he says coldly and I gasp not only at the words, but also the icy tone.
"Daddy, no!" I blurt out, but my father simply holds up his hand to silence me.
Gideon's response is immediate "I know that I would probably be behaving in exactly the same way as you are right now, but I wouldn't be taking it out on my sister, I would be speaking to the man that she married," he says.
My father's eyebrows rise in surprise at that.
"So, you are willing to hear me out and answer my questions, face to face?" my father asks.
"Absolutely, whatever you need, if that is what you need from me, whenever, wherever," he states calmly.
I realise that this is the just excuse he needed to fly out to California and join me, although part of me doesn't want him to, another part of me desperately wants him here with me.
"Alright," my dad says, pacified and also somewhat taken aback by Gideon's declaration.
"If you truly mean that then prove it to me, fly out and come here and see me face to face, tomorrow," he says, throwing down the gauntlet to Gideon to see if he accepts it.
"Consider it done," Gideon says confidently.
I see the surprise on my father's face at Gideon's immediate agreement, "Until tomorrow then" my father says.
"Goodnight Victor" Gideon says, and there is a silence as my father wordlessly hands me my phone. I take the call off speaker and put the phone to my ear.
"Gideon," I say quietly, "you are no longer on speaker," I add.
"Angel, are you ok? I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but I won't have you feeling ashamed for marrying me" he whispers to me earnestly.
"I don't," I say, "I love you." I add.
I hear the sharp inhalation "Crossfire" he whispers back, and I close my eyes.
"Why did you call me?" I ask a moment later, remembering he initially called me.
"Raul text me to let me know you were on your way to your father's house, but that the car had suddenly pulled over and stopped, I was worried, and you said you would call when you landed and I just wanted to check you were ok, and I wanted to hear your voice, but it's a good job I called when I did," he says, and I smile.
"Thank you," I say, I glance at my dad who is sitting stony faced, gripping the steering wheel.
"Look I have to go now, I will see you tomorrow then," I say.
"You will," he says confidently, We say our goodbyes and I hang up.
"He loves you?" my father asks simply and I nod my head firmly.
"Yes, he does, but it's more than that, it's like I am necessary to him, and it is the same for me as well," I state.
"Does your mother know... that you've married him?" he asks a moment later.
I shake my head, "No, things haven't been great between us lately, and she might take it the wrong way, she might think that I left her out on purpose".
My father nods, "you do realise that I have to tell her, because I won't keep something like this from her," he says.
I take in a sharp breath, "Will you at least give me the chance to tell her myself first?" I ask.
He considers this and nods, "Alright, you will call her when we get back to the house, to let her know you have arrived safely, and you will tell her then," he says.
I sigh, resigned to the fact I have to do this and silently nod.
The remaining ride to the house is silent and slightly uncomfortable, there is an atmosphere now which wasn't there before and it is bothering me a little.
When we get back, we all troop into the small sitting room and I pull my phone from my pocket, I glance at my father and at Cary who are both watching me and then steeling myself for the conversation to come I call my mother.
"Hi mom," I say brightly as she answers.
"Eva honey, it's very late, is something wrong?" she says.
I glance at my watch and cringe as I mentally add on the time difference between San Diego and New York.
I quickly jump in and tell her before I chicken out, "I'm sorry for calling so late, I am at dads now, I have something to tell you, something I should have told you before I left for California, but I am telling you now... Gideon and I are married."
I wait... and wait, eventually I speak because I think the call has dropped, "are you there mom?" I ask.
"I'm here," she says.
"Say something" I prompt.
"What do you want me to say? I saw you were wearing a ring at the gala, and I waited for you to tell me it's significance but you didn't, and I wondered, oh Eva have we drifted so far apart that you couldn't tell me face to face, that you had to put a whole country between us before you told me?" she is clearly upset and it is destroying me.
"No mom, it's not like that, we weren't going to tell anyone, we eloped, it was just for us, nobody was meant to know, but we are having a public wedding for family and friends in December, so you won't miss out," I say.
"So that conversation we had last night, when you told me he had asked your father, and you said you were 'thinking about' December, you and Gideon already had that planned?"
"Yes," I say, I wait as another silence spreads out between us.
When my mother speaks again it's with a hard incredulous tone, "You married Gideon Cross without a pre-nup?" she asks.
I roll my eyes, I should have guessed, trust my mother to zero in on the financials.
"There was a pre-nup" I say stiffly.
"And you signed without seeking advice, I taught you better than that," she shrieks.
"Mom, please, a five year old would have understood the terms, as they couldn't have been any clearer or better," I say.
"There are always better terms Eva," she states with a hint of exasperation, which immediately makes my temper rise.
"Whatever, look I've told you, I hope you can be happy for us, we love each other and as I've told you before, money isn't everything," I snap, losing patience with her.
"Well, as I said to you last night, how can I pull together a wedding by December?" she says after a moment as she suddenly seems to register everything else I've told her.
I smile and shake my head, "Mom, there is no need to go over the top, and you don't have to do anything, I can organise it," I pause and wait, for a response, when it doesn't come and all I hear is a small sob and I immediately regret what I said.
"Look, mom, I have to go," I say in a softer voice.
"Yes, alright, well thank you for telling me," she says, "and despite everything, I am very happy for you, for both of you," she says.
"Thanks mom" I say and I blink away the tears which are once again threatening to fall.
I hang up and look at my father. "There, done," I say, as I throw my phone down beside me and I scrub my face with my hands.
Cary comes to sit with me and he grips my hand in a silent show of support.
My father nods, "I will call your mother and talk to her tomorrow," he says and with that, he just turns away and leaves us alone.
I look at Cary, who has just watched him go, and then he turns his attention to me with a look of sympathy in his eyes.
"Wow," he says eventually.
I snort at his response, and rest my head on his shoulder, "do you hate me for marrying Gideon?" I ask.
Cary wraps his arm around me, "I don't hate you baby girl, and neither does Victor, and whatever your mom says, I know she is secretly overjoyed that you now have a rich husband, and to be fair you don't get much richer than Cross! We are all just a little concerned because it's so soon... but hey, I just want you to be happy, and if the marathon man does it for you then... well," he stops and shrugs.
I giggle, "I'm glad you are happy with me being married," I say, Cary wraps his arms around me and kisses my head.
"I wouldn't go that far baby girl, not yet anyway, I'll come around to happy eventually when you prove me wrong and I see it all working out for you, but all I ever want is for you to be happy and as I have just said, the marathon man seems to do it for you, so as long as he treats you right I won't have to kick his ass, but give me time to get used to it but if that's what you want and you are happy then, I'm cool, so for now, I accept it, I'm not happy about it but I accept it, and that's all I am capable of at the moment."
I nod accepting what he is saying I am willing to take that as I know Cary will come around eventually, and I hug him tightly, "thanks, Cary" I say.
I feel him smile, "now let's hit the hay so we can we be up early and go and check out the neighbourhood," he says.
I know Cary is desperate to go and see Dr Travis so silently agree, although I doubt I will get much sleep tonight, I take his hand and nod.
"Lead on" I say.
oooOOOooo
The next morning we are sitting sipping coffee which doesn't really taste very nice and I am trying to shake off the sluggishness I still feel despite the surprisingly good night sleep I had, when my dad appears in his uniform, he looks at us and smiles. The awkwardness that was lingering between us disappears in that instant.
"I have to go to work now, so see you guys later tonight for dinner?" he asks, I stand and hug my dad tightly.
"Sure, say sevenish? Be safe daddy" I say, feeling happier that there isn't any lingering resentment over my revelation.
He nods "Always" he replies and with that, he is gone.
A short while later Cary and I head out to see Dr Travis, as we get closer I feel Cary getting tenser, and when we arrive we pause a moment to take in the familiar building. We take a deep breath and walk through the comfortingly recognisable doors.
I glance around, there are a group of young men playing a game of basketball and a few girls watching them, they look around as we walk in, few of them are familiar, they immediately recognise us and wave and call out to us, which attracts the attention of an older tall sandy-haired man standing with them.
"Eva, Cary how wonderful to see you both, I wasn't expecting you till later," Dr Travis says as he turns and sees us.
"Dr Travis" I squeal and run to him, he hugs me tightly and then Cary saunters over and shakes his hand warmly before Dr Travis pulls him into a warm hug. I watch as Cary's eyes close as Dr Travis hugs him, he is the closest thing Cary has to a father figure.
"So, tell me what brings you both back here?" Dr Travis says looking closely at both Cary and me, as he pulls away from Cary. He knew we were coming and he also knows something is obviously amiss, but he needs us to open up and tell him in our own way and in our own time, this is what I love about him, he gets us.
"We are in town visiting Eva's dad and thought we'd drop by," Cary says breezily.
Dr Travis looks at him and raises his eyebrows. "Don't bullshit me Cary, remember I spoke to you on the phone and this is me you are talking to, I get pissed if you lie to me, or try and fob me off."
He whistles to the guys playing basketball and gestures towards the bin full of spare basketballs. One of the guys pulls a ball out and throws it and Dr Travis catches it deftly and raises his eyebrows in question at Cary waiting for him to follow his cue.
Cary nods and they move away from the group and start playing a game of one on one at the opposite end of the court. Dr Travis learnt early on that to get Cary to open up he needed to keep him active and occupied and as I watch I see Cary starting to talk.
"I always knew you two would end up together," a young girl beside me says as she eyes the ring on my finger.
I turn and see her and I follow her gaze to my ring and instinctively I place my other hand over the ring and shake my head.
"Yes, I am engaged to be married, but not to Cary," I clarify, "my fiancé is in New York" I add, although I am certain he is probably on his way here as we speak.
"Oh," she says surprised by my declaration, I try and ignore her as I watch Cary having his unconventional therapy session with Dr Travis.
Suddenly I see Cary's shoulders sag and to my amazement he breaks down completely, and he drops the ball and falls to his knees sobbing, I rush to him and wrap my arms around him and Dr Travis quickly leads us away to a small private office, I look at the battered old sofa held together with duct tape and covered in signatures of former patients. This is our safe place, we knew anything said here would be confidential and we could just let it all out.
I look at the sofa and remember breaking down here and telling Dr Travis about the abuse I suffered at Nathan's hands, and the out of control behaviour I had displayed as a result, which had led my father to send me here for help, and how Dr Travis helped me put myself back together. I turn my attention back to Cary.
"Oh god, I've fucked up so bad," he sobs.
Dr Travis reaches over and touches Cary's shoulder, "Take your time Cary and tell me everything from the beginning and however you want to, ok, do you want Eva to stay or go?"
Cary nods and sniffs loudly, "stay" he pleads looking at me, I nod and then reach for a box of tissues and hand it to him and he smiles gratefully. He blows his nose and takes a deep breath and starts to talk.
"I met someone, Trey he is wonderful, kind, caring and he is nothing like anyone I have ever met before, he is a decent guy" he pauses, and I know what he really means, what he is not saying is obvious – Trey is too good for him, which is total rubbish, as I gear myself up to say so, Cary starts to speak again.
"He is gay and I think he wants me to be gay too, but you know me I'm bi, I love men but I also love the ladies too" he stops again and shrugs, "and you know what I'm like, I couldn't help myself and I started seeing Tatiana as well, she is a model, I work with her I met her through the agency I am signed with," he explains and then he pauses, and Dr Travis takes the opportunity to jump in at this point.
"You said Trey was wonderful, kind and caring, what about Tatiana?" he asks.
Cary snorts loudly and shakes his head "Tat is a complete bitch – and that's on a good day!" he says wryly.
I let out a laugh of my own, at that assessment as I couldn't agree more and Dr Travis and Cary glance towards me.
"Sorry" I mutter.
Cary smiles and continues, "she is probably as fucked up as I am, but because she is, she gets me, she expects nothing and she is just so... well you know, easy, it's not hard work with her, I can just switch my mind off and bang her." he stops and puts his head down, his expression darkens and he looks desolate.
"But all that changed, when she told me she was pregnant and its mine," he looks pleadingly at Dr Travis.
"How does that make you feel Cary?" Dr Travis asks gently.
"I have no idea how to feel about it" Cary says with a shrug,
"Have you talked about what both of you are going do?" Dr Travis asks, prompting Cary to continue.
I watch as he raises his head, tears flooding his eyes and it's as if a dam has broken and he starts to talk, everything comes tumbling out.
"She said she doesn't even know if she is going to keep it, I don't know what she is going to do I asked her and she doesn't seem to care, and that just takes me back to my mom and the way she behaved and I now I am so confused, just knowing about this even though I don't even know for sure if the baby is mine, is making me look hard at my life and it's scaring me" he pauses and then he looks at me.
"Then Eva is getting her shit together with Cross, and I feel I am losing her, she says I will still be a big part of their lives and that I am not going anywhere, but she won't want me hanging around, and then if Trey finds out I'm going to be a dad, aside from Eva, he is the best fucking thing in my life I love the dude, but if I tell him I'm having a kid with Tat he will leave me, it's all pretty shaky between us and then to top things off completely, I really fucked up a few weeks ago" he pauses again and I see the shame fill his face, and he meets my gaze and looks at me apologetically.
"I organised a gang bang, and Eva walked in on it and she was pissed and rightly so, no-one wants to walk into their home and see that, but we talked it through, but I have to stop behaving like this, what kind of dad can I be if I behave like that? I don't know how and I am so confused and just... just seem to sabotage everything that is good in my life and I keep fucking up and I... I don't know what to do" he stops.
Dr Travis and I sit with our mouths open at Cary's rambling outburst, he sighs again and looks up at us.
"Well..." Dr Travis starts, he shuffles closer and leans towards Cary.
"One issue at a time, first of all, Trey, from what you have said you appear to have deep, meaningful feelings for him and you feel this is the real thing?" he asks and Cary nods.
"But you also have feelings for this girl Tatiana?" Cary hesitates and then shrugs.
"No, not feelings as such, she was just there as a workout and a bit of recreation to start with, but now, it's complicated now that she is possibly having my kid, I'm fond of her but I'm not in love with her or anything, as I say the kid part is quite cool but I would never have chosen her as my baby's mama," Cary stares at Dr Travis.
"I still don't know how it happened I always suit up, I'm religious about it, always have been."
"And you are not sure the baby is even yours so it's not a monogamous relationship on her part either?" Dr Travis asks.
"No, I'm not, sure it's mine that is, and I don't know if she is seeing anyone else apart from me and if she goes through with it I will demand a paternity test but she is still deciding at the moment."
Something which has been on my mind for a while, occurs to me again and after my conversation with her when she was wandering around my house butt naked, I can't help myself but voice the concerns, and building hunch I have regarding this whole situation, and the cynicism which has been growing in my mind, I lean forward and touch Cary's arm.
"Are you sure she is even really pregnant and not just trying to trap you somehow?" I ask, I regret saying anything as soon as the words have left my mouth, as Cary gapes at me and Dr Travis looks at me questioningly.
"What makes you suggest that Eva?" Dr Travis asks carefully.
I sigh and immediately I feel uncomfortable, Cary reaches for me and looks at me questioningly.
"What do you know baby girl? You have to tell me," he says urgently.
I look up at him and try and work out how I tell him I don't like her, I don't trust her and I think she is taking him for a ride and trying to trap him, how I am going to explain the conversation I had with her when she was wandering around naked, which sent up large red flags and also how she behaves when we are altogether wanting to keep Cary to herself and how she behaved the night Trey caught her, how she seems to revel in the drama she causes and how she flirts and practically throws herself at Gideon at every possible opportunity when she thinks Cary isn't looking, how do I tell him all that without sounding like some kind of jealous raving bitch?
"Look, several things have raised red flags for me and made me doubt her sincerity," I begin.
"Just tell me," Cary says.
So I do, I go through everything and voice my opinion that I really don't think she is even pregnant, and she is just trying to cause trouble and to separate him from Trey and from me.
"I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want her to accuse me causing trouble, and I didn't want to put you in the middle and make you have to choose, I love you Cary you know that don't you, I just want what's best for you, and I'm not saying this just to be a bitch, I think you deserve more than her, and I honestly think she is playing games with you and trying to trap you, in some way," I say.
Cary looks at me and nods, "yeah I know" he says in a resigned tone which takes me completely by surprise. My head whips up and I search his face and I see… resignation, he nods and begins to talk.
"If I was to be totally honest, I have to admit she has made me feel something similar for a while, but I dismissed my feelings as me being an asshole over the fact she is pregnant, but I noticed that she always tries to separate me from you guys and she talks about you as if you are the enemy, I tell her you are my best friend in the world and nothing will ever change that, but she doesn't get it that I don't want to bang you, but to say she is pregnant, how would she get out of that, I mean being pregnant means a baby at the end of it... what, I mean... how?" he stops looking at me a confused expression now filling his face.
I snort "Very easily, she has three choices, one she 'loses' it," I say putting my fingers up in quote marks around the word loses, "two, she decides not to go ahead with it and three she tries her damnedest to get herself pregnant," Cary stares at me in horror.
"Oh my god, she said now she is pregnant there is no point in me suiting up anymore, I didn't think anything of it at the time, because I believed her."
"Cary listen to me, how many times have you had sex with her with no protection?" I ask.
"Not many... A few times," he mutters, he looks thunderstruck.
Dr Travis looks at me and then at Cary, "How does this make you feel Cary?" he asks eventually.
Cary sighs, "used," he says quietly.
I reach over and grasp his hand, an idea forming in my mind, "Do you want me to ask Gideon to look into it for you, to find out for sure, one way or another?" I ask.
Cary looks up at me, "Would he do that?" he asks.
I nod, "He would, well he would know someone who could find out for you," I say confidently.
Cary smiles, "I would, thank you" he replies.
Dr Travis watches us, "Eva, who is Gideon?" he asks.
"Gideon Cross is... is my... my..." I stop not sure what to say and I look at my ring.
Cary wraps his arm around me, and for the first time since we came into this room, a small smile appears.
"Gideon, is the Gideon Cross, the gazillionaire who owns New York City and has had his world completely rocked by Eva, and who has recently asked her to marry him" he says and looks at me, everything he has said is the truth, just not the whole truth.
I nod and take a deep breath, "and I said yes, and we eloped and married last weekend in the Caribbean," I add, "he is my husband, Gideon is my husband," I confirm with a decisive nod.
It's the first time I have called him that out loud, and it feels good to say it, really good. I smile at the thought and feel myself flushing, and Cary grips my hand.
"I see" Dr Travis says and he leans back, slightly in shock.
"Yes," I say, "we wanted it to be just us, we are doing it again for everyone else in December which will be a media feeding frenzy, so we wanted it to be our time just for us" I stop staring at Dr Travis.
He smiles, "I can understand that, well, congratulations Eva," he says.
I sag with relief I didn't realise how much it meant to me to have his approval.
"Thank you, you will get an invite to the ceremony in December of course," I say firmly.
Dr Travis laughs and thanks me, and then turns his attention back to Cary, "So Cary, let's get back to you now, it seems the whole pregnancy issue is now going to being handled, I won't ask how you are going to gather the information you are requesting, as I am sure I don't want to know and if I did it would be more than a little worrying to me, now shall we address your feelings about your relationship with Eva?"
Cary looks startled, and then smiles, "Eva is my best friend in the whole world, she gets me like nobody else does, her mom treats me like a son, I feel wanted and accepted, and I'm just worried now she is with Cross, I will lose all that because she won't want me around, I feel her pulling away from me, I know she needs to spend time with him and everything, I mean he's her husband I get that, but I need her too," he glances at me and I feel tears trickle down my cheek.
"Cary, you know I love you, you will never have to be without me, you will always have a place in my life, Gideon has offered you the apartment next to the penthouse, and you know how serious I am about that foundation I want to start, and I want you to be the face of it, we know better than anyone about abuse and how it affects people, and we can really do good, I need you as much as you need me Cary, you get me like no-one else, when things are not right between us I scatter, and I hate it, Gideon knows that you are important to me and he totally accepts it, hell you are the only man he lets within 20 feet of me!"
I grin at Cary and his face breaks into a beautiful smile.
I watch Dr Travis frown at that comment, but he doesn't say anything.
Cary reaches for me and pulls me towards him, "I love you baby girl you always know how to make things right between us," he says.
"Right back at you Taylor," I say as I pat his back affectionately.
Dr Travis, looks at us both, "it seems to me, all you two needed was to talk to each other rather than fly out here and talk to me, I am a little concerned about your behaviour of sabotaging your happiness though Cary, I thought we had worked through these issues with you, I know sex is your panacea, but it really only creates more problems in the long run."
Cary looks down at his hands, he knows Dr Travis is right, but it just hurts hearing it.
"Cary, tell me, do you truly love Trey?" Dr Travis asks suddenly.
Cary's head whips up and he thinks, a slow smile washes over his face, "yeah I do, he is a good person, stable, steady and he is good for me," he says, he looks at me and I nod, this is a huge thing for Cary to admit to.
Dr Travis turns to me, "so Eva what about you? It seems like you have accomplished a lot in your short time in New York?"
I nod and then taking a deep breath I spill my guts telling Dr Travis everything, how I met Gideon and how I fell in love, our split, whilst not going into details for obvious reasons, and then finally telling about our marriage, I talk about Nathan's reappearance in New York and how people had tried to keep it from me, and then his sudden death without mentioning who was responsible for it and how relieved I was that he was finally no longer a threat to me.
I talk about my mom and my issues with her, and her over protective stalking, how she put tracking devices in my phone, my compact and my watch and how that made me feel, how I felt my privacy had been violated and how when I try to confront her about it she turned it all around, and how now I feel there is that crack in our relationship which will never heal. Dr Travis listens and nods at intervals.
"Does your mother know that you have married?" Dr Travis asks.
I nod, "Yes she does now, and my dad does too," I say with a small snort as I recall last night's telephone call.
"How did that go?" Dr Travis asks.
I snort again, "badly, my dad lost it completely, and Gideon is flying out today to talk to him face to face, as a result, as for my mom, well, all she is bothered about is the fact I didn't seek counsel before I signed the pre-nup!" I shake my head sadly at her materialistic attitude.
"I'm sure they are both only reacting the way they are doing because they love and care about you Eva," Dr Travis says quietly.
I consider that and nod, "I know, but there is no room for failure here, it's not an option," I sweep my hand emphatically to emphasise the point.
Dr Travis nods, "are you seeing anyone in New York?" he asks.
I nod and I tell him about Dr Petersen and how Gideon has agreed to couples therapy with me as well, which seems to impress him slightly.
"Hey, have you thought about relocating to New York?" I ask Dr Travis eventually and Cary laughs.
"I've asked him the same thing while we were having our one on one," he says and he squeezes my hand again.
Dr Travis smiles, "I am flattered, but my place is here not in New York," he says.
"That's what he said to me as well," Cary says with a dramatic sigh.
"Eva, when you were talking with Cary, you said that Cary was the only man Gideon let within 20 feet of you, that is a little worrying to me, can you elaborate?"
I look up at him and sigh, "Gideon has issues – as many as I have, if not more, but it's not my place to talk about him when he isn't here to defend himself," I say conclusively.
Dr Travis nods, "I can understand that, but do you feel he tries to control you?" he asks, I know he is pushing this out of concern so I try and respond reasonably, and not sound too defensive.
I take a moment to really think about the question, "Sometimes, yes I guess I do, but he has his reasons, and they are good reasons, it's not irrational control just for the power trip, he's not like that, there is always a good reason for everything he does, but he just doesn't always go about things the right way, but having said that he gets me, he understands… he knows," I say and look at Dr Travis meaningfully.
"He knows your history, everything?" Dr Travis asks.
I nod, "Every last detail, he knows everything and he is careful with me, he tries his best to balance his need for control with my need for independence," I say confidently.
"That's good to hear," Dr Travis says.
We talk and Dr Travis offers words of advice and talks us through our issues, we leave feeling much more centred and feeling much better.