And we're back with the one and only HAPPYobsessedwickedfan3611! Please give it up for another chapter of Oh My Oz Another Parody. *applause*
EmeraldReine: O.o I don't want anybody dying on me :( *speaking in fast voice* theHAPPYobsessedwickedfan3611 will not be held responsible for any injuries, or possible death from reading Oh My Oz Another Parody.
Elphaba-WWW: No! No Pizza! Alright I updated...NOW UPDATE WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE OR I'LL SEND BBQ, PIE, PIZZA, AND STEAMED ARTICHOCKES OVER TO YOUR HOUSE! 8-D
Huge shout outs to: Niathewickedlover, EmeraldReine, ExoticPeachBlossom, Elphaba-WWW, Mad-Idina-Fan98, and Thegreencunsoltingdragon.
Thank you SO MUCH for all your awesome reviews!
-happy3611
*music can be heard coming from somewhere offstage*
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair back and forth
I whip my hair,
I whip it real good
Elphaba: *comes storming onstage* WHAT IS THAT HORRIBLE SOUND!?
[Music continues playing]
Suddenly a conga line of ALL ast members except Glinda, and Elphaba comes onstage. Fiyero is at the front, then comes the Flatheads, Witch Hunters, Emerald City Residents, Shiz Students, Boq, Nessa...
Glinda: YOU HAD A PARTY WITHOUT ME!?
Fiyero: (ignoring Glinda, continues to party)
Glinda:TIGGULAR! TIGGULAR ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!?
Conga line continues, Morrible and the Wizard come out also on the Conga line.
Glidna:WHAT!? YOU INVITED THE FISH AND THE HUMBUG BUT NOT ME!?
Dorothy comes out on the end of the Conga line.
Elphaba: WHO INVITED THE FARM BRAT!?
Authoress: Alright enough is enough, everyone who is not in the next scene, OUT!
Witch Hunters, Emerald City residents, Melena, and the Wizard all walk off.
Dorothy: "Can I stay please?"
Nessa: I'd leave...BEFORE SOMEONE DROPS A HOUSE ON YOU!
Dorothy: I said I was sorry!
Nessa: I DONT CARE! I FELT SQUISHED!
Elphaba: I'm warning you kid, leave my sister alone or...
Dorothy: AHHHHHHH! SHE'S GREEN SOMEONE GET ME SOME WATER!
Elphaba: (snickering) You really think that's going to work.
Dorothy: It did at the last showing! And the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing before that...and the showing befor that...and the showing before that...and the-
Phannee: Except for that time when Idina fell through the trap door, and had to be taken to the hospital...
Dorothy: Same difference! She still fell when I through the bucket of water on her!
Wicked Fans: ATTACK! SHE HURT DEE! (Wicked fans run onstage and attack Dorothy for hurting Idina)
Rosciolians: ?
Wicked fans: (look up from mobbing Dorothy) We mean Idina (chase Dorothy offstage)
Elphaba: YOU FORGOT YOUR LITTLE DOG DODO YOU FARM BRAT! (kicks Dodo offstage)
Fiyero: (pointing at Elphaba) ANIMAL CRUELTY! ANIMAL CRUELTY! SHE KICKED HIM! SHE KICKED THE DOG!
Audience: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh!
Elphaba: Is that Animal or animal, it's so hard to tell when people are typing in all caps. Animal...animal...hmmmmm...
Authoress: (rolling eyes) I see that at the pace we're going it's going to take us another 6 billion years to get through this parody...
Glinda: SIX BILLION!? I'LL BE OLD AND WRINKLY THOUGH! LIKE MADAME MORRIBLE!
Madame Morrible: (looking extremely offended) Hey! I happen to feel very pretty when I have my makeup on and I after I go through my long morning routine to get ready. First I get up go to the sink and begin to scrub my-
Authoress: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! WE DONT NEED DETAILS!
*awkward silence*
Elphaba: Well...this is awkward. We're sort of sitting in between scenes right now since, NOMTW already ended, and Dear Old Shiz hasn't started and...
Authoress: Oh Yeah...ummm...switch scenes!
*scene change*
Melena is sitting on a big bed in a big room.
Lover: Climes through the window) I've brought you some Green Elixer ready to have some fun (climbs on bed with Melena)
Authoress: WOAH! WE DO NOT NEED TO SEE THAT!
*scene change*
Galinda: (is standing at a bright pink sink brushing her teeth) *singing to the tune of row row row you're boat* Brush Brush Brush Your Teeth-
Authoress: This is just weird...
*scene change*
Madame Morrible: Okay first I start by cleaning out all my_
Authoress: WOAH! WE DONT NEED TO SEE THIS!
*scene change*
Dorothy: Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore
Fiyero: Duh, and they call me brainless...
Glinda: DODO!
Authoress:WHAT!? THIS ISNT EVEN FROM WICKED!
*scene change*
Fiyero: "...maybe I'm Brainless, maybe I'm wise..."
Elphaba: (snorts) Trust me, you're definitely brainless
Authoress: Ouch! Burn Fiyero! Burn!
Scarecrow Hunters: GO HUNT HIM AND FIND HIM AND BURN HIM!
Elphaba: Scarecrow hunters?
Authoress: Yes, because Fiyero gets transformed in to a scarecrow and scarecrows being made out of straw can bu- WAIT YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!
Elphaba: Hmn...Fiyero...Bonfire...Fiyero...Bonfire...say Fiyero wanna come play REALLY close to this fire.
Fiyero: Okay, but I really dont see why theres a fi-AHHHH!
Authoress: HE'S ON FIRE!
Glinda: ...yea well I know hes hot-
Authoress: NO HES LITERALLY ON FIRE!
Dorothy: No need to fear! Dorothy is here! (Dumps bucket of water Fiyero)
Fiyero: Im Melting! Im mel-
Elphaba: Hey...that sounds familiar...HEY! NOT COOL TIGGULAR!
Authoress: You're one too talk, you shoved him in there in the first place...
Elphaba: SHUT IT BLONDIE!
Authoress; Blondie!? BLONDIE!? IM NOT BLONDE!
Elphaba-WWW: I personally think Blonde would suite you.
Authoress: OH SHUT UP YOURE SO ANNOYING
Elphaba-WWW: (sarcasm) Oh, IM annoying...
Authoress: Yes, you are, infact I think I'll call you the annoying one
The Annoying One- HEY!
Authoress: How'd you get here anyways?
ExoticPeachBlossom: YOU'RE THE ONE WRITING THIS ARENT YOU?
Authoress: WHY ARE YOU YELLING!
Exotic: IM NOT YELLING YOU ARE!
Authoress: NO YOU ARE! YOU'RE- Oh wait I left the caps on whoops
The Annoying One- (faceplam) IDIOT!
Authoress: I'll deal with you later lets just get this over with! (Stalks off stage grabs Shiz students and drags them onstage) SING MY ANGELS SING!
Christine: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! The Phantom of the Opera!
Authoress: (facepalm) NOT YOU!
Orphans: We love you Miss Hanigan
Grace O' Malley: (swings in on vine like Fiyero in No Good Deed) NO NEED TO FEAR THE PIRATE QUEEN IS HERE!
UnderDog: HEY! Thats MY catch phrase, get your own!
Fiyero: (looking at Grace with interest) Y'know you're kinda hot for a pirate!
Galinda: (gasp) BUT FIFI! YOU'RE MINE! (Walks over to Grace) I dont know who you are buster but the boy is mine!
Elphaba: He was never yours to begin with, if he's anybody's he's MINE!
Galinda: Oh Yeah!
Elphaba: Heck yeah!
Galinda: GREEN BEAN!
Elphaba: BUBBLE BRAIN!
Galinda: ARTICHOKE!
Elphaba: BLONDIE!
Galinda: (skips straight to slapping)
*slap*
Elphaba: Feel better now! (Witch Cackle)
Fiyero: Wait! I thought the catfight scene was in Act II Over Nessa's Death...
Nessa: MY WHAT!?
Authoress: TIGGULAR! YOU READ AHEAD IN THE SCRIPT AGAIN!?
Fiyero: (Ignoring Authoress, turns to face Grace) So, I'll be picking you up around eight...
Teirnan: BACK OFF BUSTER! THIS IS MY GIRLFRIND!
Grace: WHERE'S QUEEN ELIZABETH!?
The Annoying One: Oh, Im pretty sure she's cooped up in Buckingham Palace somewhere...
Authoress: She means Elizabeth I idiot!
Fiyero: There were two Elizabeths...
Elphaba: (ignoring everyone) Didn't she die like 500 years ago...
Fiyero: Ewwwww...Im crushing on an old lady...(glances at Grace)
Terinan: Are you calling MY GIRLFRIEND Old!?
Fiyero: (gulp) Nooooooooo...
Authoress: Things are about to get ugly...
The Annoying one: ...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Things just got INTERESTING! Someone make me a bowl of popcorn!
Elphaba: (looking slyly at The Annoying One) ...a bowl of popcorn?
The Annoying One: Yep,
Elphaba: Okay (casts some long and complicated spell) Okay The Annoying One otherwise known as Elphaba-WWW you are now a bowl of popcorn.
The-Annoying-one-otherwise-known-as-Elphaba-WWW-th e-bowl-of-popcorn: O.O
Authoress: As much as I'd like to leave her like that I cant.
Dorothy: Why not?
Elphaba: Beat It Kid!
Authoress: It's 'gainst regulation
The-Annoying-one-otherwise-known-as-Elphaba-WWW-th e-bowl-of-popcorn: (sighs)
Authoress: Elphaba change her back
Elphaba: Fine! (Changes The-Annoying-one-otherwise-known-as-Elphaba-WWW-th e-bowl-of-popcorn back)
The Annoying One: Now that Im not a bowl of popcorn anymore...IMA KILL YOU!
Authoress: (Seeing that things are about to get ugly orders everyone to leave) YES YOU HEARD ME! EVRYONE NOT INVOLVED IN THE MUSICAL WICKED OUT! YOU TOO DOROTHY! EXOTICPEACHBLOSSOM AND ELPHABA-WWW THIS INCLUDES YOU TOO!
Elphaba-WWW: HA! SHE REMEMBERED MY NAME!
Authoress: Hold on...
The Annoying One: HEY!
Authoress: (smirks)
ExoticPeachBlossom: But we are part of Wicked we're the FANS!
Authoress: I dont care! Out!
The Annoying One: Fine! (Sticks tongue out at Authoress and exits)
[ExoticPeachBlossom and Elphaba-WWW exit]
Authoress: (muttering) Glad that's over...(raises voice) Now we've already wasted a lot of paper with all the nonsense so PLEASE just start Dear Old Shiz!
Shizians: Okay boss, (singing now) Old big fat face, and lots of white paste, the ugliest sight there is. When grey and sere her hair has turned, We shall be scarred by the images of our Dear Old Headmistress. Our Dear Old
Glinda: Ooooooooooooold
Shizians: Headmistress...
Authoress to Shizians: (muttering) I'm going to ignore that for the sake of the scene, and the saftey of all others...
[ExoticPeachBlossom and Elphaba-WWW/The Annoying One can be heard from offstage]
The Annoying One: (weeping tears of joy) ..truer...words were...never spoken...
ExoticPeachBlossom: Get ahold of yourself! Here's a tissue box...(grumbling) I Did NOT sign up for babysitting...
Authoress: (Yelling Offstage) YOU TWO! BE QUIET! YOU'RE RUINING THE MOMENT!
Madame Morrible: Welcome, Welcome I am Madame Morrible head Shiztress of Shiz University! Im supposed to make some huge boring lecture, about welcoming you all here and all that boring stuff, blah, blah, blah...but Im being to lazy, so rules, (sucks in Deep breathe takes out LONG piece of paper full of rules) No-
Authoress: No!No! That's quite alright we DONT need to hear everything!
Morrible: Are you sure there ate only 5,186,890,090,452,001 rules...
Authoress: No! (Shakes head frantically) No! No! No! No! Thats quite alright!
Morrible: Are you sure!? i could-
Authoress: No! Thats okay! Er- QUE ELPHABA!
Frex: Here you go Nessie
Nessa: Glass Slippers!
Frex: Here you go! (Hands Nessa shoes)
Authoress:...GLASS SLIPPERS!?
Cinderella: I was looking for those (takes glass slipper and leaves)
Stagehand: Wrong box, (hands Frex Identical box)
Frex: Here you are Nessie
Nessa: YAY! MORE SHOES! (Takes shoes but accidentally drops shoes)
Everyone: (gasp)
The Annoying One: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
ExoticPeachBlossom: THE SHOOOOOOOES!
Nessa: (Claps Twice! stage manager appears with another pair of shoes) YAY EVEN MORE SHOES!
Elphaba: (looking offended) Yes, well in that case I think I'll just take the shoes Nessa dropped on the floor, (takes shoes and stuffs in pockets)
Fiyero: O.o THAT IS ONE HUUUUGE POCKET WHAT DO YOU KEEP IN THERE!?
Authoress: Ahem! you're wasting my paper! Nessa you were leaving,
Morrible: Whoops sorry, you (points at random person who just happens to be Galinda) room with her (points at another random person who just happens to be Elphaba) You, (points at Nessa) room with me (points to herself)
Galinda: WHAT!?
Elphaba: WHAT!?
Nessa: WHAAAAAAT!?
Morrible: (grabs Nessa's chair and begins to wheel her away)
Nessa: Elphaba! come save me!
Elphaba: (scoffs) I DONT think so, save yourself, do something by yourself for once.
Nessa: BUT YOUR MY SLAVE-ER SISTER!
Elphaba: (muttering) ...thats exactly why...
Authoress: Thropp! You have to go save her!
Elphaba: (Whinging) Do I have too...
Authoress: (stern look) Yes, you do.
Elphaba: Ugh, fine spourpuss (dramatic gesture Nessa's chair is suddenly back in Elphaba's hands)
Students: Ooooooooooooh! Cool! Again! Again!
Morrible: (speechless) How did she do that?
Galinda: How did she do that?
Students: How did she do that?
Elphaba: (looking irritated) is there an Echo in here!?
[Awkward Silence]
Elphaba-WWW: (runs across back of thr stage) COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIES!
Authoress: What the!?
Elphaba-WWW: (runs across back of stage in oposite direction) SHE REMEMBERED MY NAAAAAAAAAME!
Authoress: Oh wait a minute- hold on- There we go!
The Annoying One: HEY!
Authoress: (to ExoticPeachBlossom) How much sugar did you feed her!?
ExoticPeachBlossom: (grumps) I did NOT sign up for babysitting, I think I'll just go sit in the audience. (Goes to sit in Audience)
Authoress:...okay?
Elphaba: We need an end.
Authoress: Oh Yeah!
[Suddenly the lights flicker and go out]
Galinda: WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE RANDOM LIGHT SWITCHING OFFINESS!?
[Balloons fall from the ceiling and the lights go back on, a huge banner is revealed with 'Congradulations!' on it in fat green letters]
Galinda; Awwwwww...a party for me, you're all to sweet, I just cant accept this...
Authoress: And you wont! The party is for Elphaba!
Galinda: WHAT!?
Elphaba: WHAAAAAT!?
Morrible: Congratz. You're in the club!
Elphaba: What club!?
Morrible: The club of-
Fiyero: HOT DOGS!
Everyone: HOT DOGS!?
Fiyero; Yeah, well Im hungery...
Elphaba: YOU EAT HOT DOGS!? DOGS AS IN WITH A CAPITAL D! ANIMAL CRUELTY! MURDERER! M-
Authoress: SHUT UP! YOU'RE WASTING MY PAPER! D'YOU KNOW HOW MANY TREES ARE DYING BECAUSE OF YOU!? ELPHABA YOU'RE IN THE SORCERY CLUB-
Galinda: Is there a sign up sheet for that-
Authoress: (Elphaglare) SHUT UP UPLAND!
Galinda: O.o Sad Face
Authoress: THATS IT! I LOATHE YOU ALL! I QUIT!
Elphaba: You cant quit! The paper you signed-
Authoress: (sighs) Right...WELL THEN WE'RE DONE WITHNTHE SCENE EVERYONE OUT! (muttering) Someone fetch me some asprain...HEY YOU! I WANT A COFFEE STAT!
[Black Out]
The Annoying One: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOKIES!
Authoress: (muttering) Shut up!
Ugh, I hate it :P Reviews please? I need something to cheer me up.
just to clarify The Annoying One is Elphaba-WWW
Elphaba-WWW and ExoticPeachBlossom lemme know if Im doing something with your character that you dont like and I'll stop it ASAP!
And I have such a headache...here in England all there is is rain...rain...and more rain...so gloomy...
-happy3611