"Summer I was eight year's old… I came for the first time."

The movie, Mysterious Skin, played on the huge screen of the drive-in movie cinima. Billy, Spencer, and Rajeev, who was passed out drunk in the backseat, were all in the car, watching as young Joseph Gordon-Levitt jacked off on screen. Billy had tears in his eyes, Spencer was unimpressed with the cinimatography. Not ten minutes later Billy was in tears.

He turned to Spencer, eyes blurred with ectotears, "Could he be the devil?" He asked Spencer, reffering to the scene in the movie. It was halloween night, and Brian Lacky was wearing his satan costume.

Spencer turned to him, eyes wide, face blank, and stared into Billy's ghost's soul. "Yes. He is the Devil."

People in neighboring cars got out in protest of the Devil and began thrusting their symbols of religious affiliation at the screen. By the time they were done and had left, the only other car in the lot besides Spencer's cop car, was a conspiciously alien looking veihicle next to them, where two unknown people were doing it.

Spencer and Billy could hear them from inside their car.

"Filthy human! Suck harder!"

"Zim, stop yelling, you're going to get us arrested!"
"YES! I AM ZIM!"

They had gotten turned on by the movie. Spencer himself found the film to be a bit erotic. He covered his eyes as he glanced down at his crotch, just like Professor Sycamore. The daily grind.

Rajeev woke then, screaming something about his little lost donut. Spencer looked back at his little brown brother, eyes wide with shock. Not again.

He rubbed his eyes. "Shouldn't we get back to the case?" He asked, like one of those boy from peter pan.

Billy whipped out a guitar then, and began strumming it. "This song is for my little invisible buddy..." He then began to sing Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me for spencer and Rajeev, but mostly for Rajeev.

[Chorus]

I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy

Just like all of my thoughts they always get a bit naughty

When I'm out with my girls I always play a bit bitchy

Can't change the way I am sexy naughty bitchy me

I'm the kind of girl that girls don't like

I'm the kind that boys fantasize

I'm the kind that your momma and your daddy were afraid you'd turn out to be like

I may seem unapproachable but that's only to the boys who don't have the

Right a approach or ride that makes a girl like me wanna hop in and roll

People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent

[Chorus]

My mouth never takes a holiday

I always shock with the things I say

I was always the kid in school who turned up to each class bout an hour late and when it came to the guys I'd lay, I'd always pick the ones who wont figure out that I am clearly a rebel to the idea of monogamy

People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent

[Chorus]

Sexy... naughty... bitchy...me

People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent

[Chorus]

I like all of my shorts to be a little too shortly

Unlike all of my guys I like them tall with money

I love all of my nights to end a little bit nasty

Can't change the way I am sexy naughty bitchy me

I pick my skirts to be sexy

Just like my thoughts a bit naughty

When I'm out with my girls ...bitchy

Can't change I am

Sexy naughty bitchy me-"

BJC suddenly began screaming, and dropped his guitar. "My butthole!" He shrieked. "My ancient, ghostly butthole!" Somewhere in America, Danny Fenton cringed and decided to never again eat peanut butter. Smooth peanut butter.

"What's wrong?!" Spencer asked, woken from his daze of imagining those dogs from before. "What's with your butthole?"

Billy instantly dropped his ghostly drawers and exposed his undead ass to the whole world. Spencer and Rajeev stared in awe. From his pocket, Spencer drew a ruler and measured the diamiter and radius of Billy's huge butthole, which seemed to just get wider and wider. He then pulled out a calculator and began to calculate the circumferance of the butthole.

"It's huge!" Rajeev exclaimed, sticking his head inside. "Why is it stretching so?"

"It must be my body!" Billy cried in pain. "Something must be stretching my body's butthole!"

Spencer returned the calculator and rule to his pocket and sat up facing them with deadly seriousness. "This is very bad," he said, "if Billy's butthole continues to expand exponentually at this rate, then he'll be split in two down the middle by the time we catch this graverobber."

"HOLY SHIT!" Rajeev screamed. He pulled out his gun, but Spencer managed to snatch it away before he could start shooting for no reason. "We'd better get a move on!"

"Agreed," spencer agreed. "B. Joe Co, where should we look first?"

Billy stop crying in agony for a moment to put his hand to his chin, making the sign 'lesbian' in ASL, to think. "San Francisco!" He said. "That's where I scored the loudest weed I ever smoked!"

The cop car then roared to life, as Spencer turned the ignition and started the car. They vroomed out of the lot, leaving the one alien car there to rock back and forth rhythmically throughout the last half hour of the movie.

On the road, Billy continued to shriek like a little bitch about his sore and aching ass. "I can't take this much longer, bros," said he, "I'm going to turn into a goop of ecto if I don't get something for this here pain."

"Here!" Rajeev exclaimed, passing him molly he stole from a crime scene. "This'll ensure a rip snortin' good time!"

BJC didn't hesitate to take it, and they drove on through the desert of life toward San Fran. Rajeev, bored, called an asian sex phone line and proceeded to chat it up with a female operator until he passed out in the back seat. Spencer drove on, unphased by all this drug abuse and sex trafficing going on in the car. He was wide awake with withdrawal from his prozak.

BJC, not ten minutes after using up all Rajeev's molly, sat rather stilly in the back, hugging his knees to his chest. Spencer glanced back at him through the rear view mirror, giving him a sly smirk since Rajeev was sleeping butt to face, and drooling on the armrest.

BJC hardly noticed, and began laughing maniacally. "There are wasps in my brain!" He proclaimed, clutching his ghost head. He frothed at the mouth and wriggled on the seats, as he proceeded to flip the fuck out.

"Billy, Billy, are you okay?" Spencer asked, wondering if he should pull over. The molly seemed to have been too much for the late popstar.

"I CAN SEE IT!" billy screamed, sitting up. "I CAN SEE MY BODY! ITS IN- ITS IN A DARK ROOM! FULL OF DARKNESS!"

Spencer continued driving down the highway, but with now only one hand, and leaned over the back of his seat to watch Billy in the back flip his shit. It was really entertaining.

"I CAN SEE MY BUTTHOLE!" Billy continued. "I SEE IT! I CAN SEE OUT MY BUTTHOLE!"

Spencer reached for the glove compartment to get his old shitty camcorder. He had to get photage of this. Fuck dogs screwing outside his ratty old apartment, this was COMEDY GOLD. He began filming.

Billy was now in a trance-like state, screaming about being an eye out his butthole. "I SEE HER! I SEE HER THROUGH MY BUTTHOLE'S EYE!"

"See who?" Spencer asked. "Who is it?"

"I… I CAN'T TELL! THERE'S SOMETHING BLOCKING MY VIEW!" Billy then became incoheriant with blabber and passed out, surely overdosing had he been still alive. It was a strange night for all of them.

Spencer, eventually tired for the constant strain of just living life, had to stop at a shitty motel by the side of the road before they could reach San Fran. He got them a room and then carried in Billy's ghost because he would feel bad about missing such an oppurtunity as to pleasure himself with Billy's vapid ghost body while Billy was asleep.

He left Rajeev in the car to die.

Spencer went ahead and tucked billy in, making sure his ghost was comfortable, and placed every pillow available in the motel room under Billy's butt to make sure his butthole was properly elevated. He himself then got in bed next to him, and sighed, looking up at the ceiling as he thought to himself about this hole ordeal. It seemed like just last week spencer was ten years old and instead getting the pony he always wanted, he was stuck with the ghost of his shitty, alienated second cousin. He smiled to himself, remembering that that was the time when the ectofeature was just beginning to take hold.

He turned on his side to face billy and watched him sleeping silently, butthole whistling. Spencer put a single arm around him, but it just phased through. He wondered sometimes if it would just be easier to be a ghost himself.

In the motel room next door, two people who had gotten in late we're now screaming their butts off at each other about a broken condom they found outside on the ground. And Sanic Peen. THey then proceeded to violently fuck each other against the wall they shared with Spencer's room while yelling "Ah yeah! Sanic peen! Sanic peen, so fast! Sanic peen me so fast!"

Spencer could not sleep a wink.

In the morning, the local police in the area had already shown up, and were removing the mutilated bodies of the room nextdoor. That morning's newspaper headline was a simple "Young Couple Sanic Peen 2 Fast, Estimated 23 Dead" The police didn't know it yet, but another 50 lay wounded.

Spencer sat up and rubbed his eyes, then glanced over at BJC's ghost, which was still asleep. He went to wake him up, but discovered something odd. The pillows from the night before weren't under his butthole where he left them, they were just gone. He wondered if he should file a report on some kidnapped pillows or not but decided against it. The police already had their hands full with the mess caused by that couple.

Disgusting.

Spencer went to make coffee for them. From the kitchen, he heard Billy's ghost moan in his sleep. Spencer turned, and looked back at his second cousin, worried at first, but then he realized he was just having a wet dream. Little did he know the same person who'd jacked Billy's body was now jacking him OFF.

He turned back away to continue making the breaky, when suddenly, he felt something hard against his ass. When he turned his gays, he found Billy's ghost rock hard ghostly dick out there in the open. It was huge, and dripping. Hairy like a shower drain. Just the way he liked it.

"Billy?" He asked, looking up.

"No." He shushed him, using his dick as a finger to the lips.

Spencer stared at it, still on his mouth, then looked back up at Billy. "But what about breakfast?" He asked.

Billy thought to himself. "Fuck it."

Before he knew what was going on, Billy had scooped Spencer up by the fat of his neck and deposited him on the motel bed, where the pillows used to be for his gaping butthole. Billy took Spencer's face in his hands, cupping him sexually, and planted a hungry kiss on his fucking mouth. WHY TARGET?

The two made out on the filth-ridden bed, finally pushing past the sexual tension between the two second cousins. Now that they were older, and alone, they could finally be together. Billy pinned Spencer's hands behind his head, and turned his own head to deepen the kiss. Spencer moaned into him and saliva dripped down his throat. Billy quickly slurped it all back up. Couldn't have Spencer going all ecto on him right now.

"Uhg," Spencer moaned, "God dammit, Cobra, just do me now!"

"Working on it, bad-bro-pun."

"God, I've been waiting for this for years!" Since the 3rd grade to be exact.

"Shh." Billy replied, undoing Spencer's pants. "Angel."

Spencer undid Billy's pants, and placed his hands on his cold, undead ass, fingers accidentally going in his stretched butthole. He didn't mind.

BJC had just whipped out Spencer's meat sword when suddenly the door Flew open, and Rajeev stood there, legs spread in a gay pose.

"Sup, my faggs!" He said, striding in, slamming the door behind him. "I have the cra-aziest dream last night!"

Spencer quickly pushed BJC off of him and onto the floor, and tried to zip up his pants, but his zipper was caught on his dick. "Don't tell me, it was about Lolo's sweaty vagina again, wasn't it?"

"Not even! I was in the cop car alone, and I saw these really metrosexual guys enter the motel room next to you! One was wearing a stylish bib. They were totally about to Sanic Peen! Can you believe that?"

Spencer sat up. "Oh fuck, that's right, the case!" He said, remembering. "Rajeev, forget your stupid Sanic dream, we gotta move! Now! Time is running out!"

"Does this mean I have to get rid of this broner all by myself?"Billy whispered in Spencer's ear, sensually.

"This is no time for broners! Screw broners!" Rajeev screamed, running back out to the cop car. "Death to broners!"

Spencer and Billy looked at each other for a split second of sexual tension, before looking away again.

"We'd better go," Spencer said, rubbing his neck as he blushed a faint pink.

"Yeah."