For the First Time

by Junebug617

A compilation of one-shots that examine a series of Lily Evan's and James Potter's interactions from their First Year at Hogwarts until beyond their Seventh Year. Each chapter is centered around a different "first" in their lives, such as their first kiss, first meeting, and first date.

2. James Took Lily on a Date

AS PROMISED, THE LATEST UPDATE. THANK YOU EVERYONE SO MUCH FOR REVIEWS. THE POSITIVE RESPONSES IVE GOTTEN SO FAR JUST MAKE MY DAY. FEEL FREE TO CRITIQUE CRITICALLY THOUGH. I ONLY WANT TO GET BETTER. THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN VERY DIFFERENTLY FROM THE LAST ONE. THE LAST ENTRY WAS WRITTEN THROUGH FROM BEGINNING TO END WHILE THIS ONE WENT THROUGH THE WRINGER, CHANGING LINES, POVS AND REACTIONS RIGHT UP TIL THE FINAL EDIT. LET ME KNOW HOW IT FLOWS OR IF I NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING. I FELT THIS ONE WAS KIND OF SHAKY AND PERHAPS INCONSISTANT. THANKS FOR READING!

I've been hurt, Potter," she said solemnly as James continued to calm his heart. "You know that. Why should I believe that you wouldn't just walk out on me too, like you have a million other girls?"

James nearly yelled out in frustration. "Because, Evans," he almost snarled. "After seven years of torture and rejections and every possible insult in the book, I'm still standing right here." He gestured to where he stood. "I cant help but come back."

THE FIRST TIME…James took Lily on a date.

While the Halloween Hogsmeade trip hadn't been the first James had spent with Lily, this was the first they'd spent together it by choice. Third Year, he had followed her in and out of Honeydukes and Zonko's before she finally saw him trailing behind her and threatened to hex his ears off. He only smirked and told her she had quite an ego to think, he, James Potter, would ever follow her around. Fourth Year, Sirius jumped Snape in the Three Broomsticks over something James could no longer remember. When Snivellus fought back, James jumped to his best friend's aide and Lily jumped to hers, getting them all banned from the warm pub for the next two trips. She hadn't talked to him for a week after that.

Fifth Year, Mary and Alice had asked the Marauders to join them on the way to the village, causing Lily to glare at James as though it had been his fault. James, angry at her constant hatred of him, had refused to even look at her for the rest of the trip. By the end of the day, everyone was cold and miserable and gladly parted ways. James's only solace was Lily's surprised look when he marched right past her without so much as a second glance. Sixth Year had been almost as bad. When Lily's boyfriend, Charlie Donahue, dumped her in the middle of the road, James punched the Ravenclaw in the face. Later, he had despondently insisted that he couldn't help it. The minute he had seen the tears spring into her eyes it was as if something had taken over his body. Lily had not been pleased with his show of heroics, however, and shoving her butterbeer in James's face, marched off to the castle, leaving him sputtering in the chilly weather.

As the two walked together now, James couldn't help but glance sideways at her and wonder if today wouldn't somehow go wrong again. Their track record wasn't necessarily leaning towards the bright side. Lily looked calm enough now but James knew that one step out of line could mean the end of the timid truce between them. He thought asking her to go with him would be the hard part, but Mooney had been right. Actually being on a date with Lily was much scarier than James had ever imagined.

"Where do you want to go next?" Lily's voice broke through James's reverie.

"Uh… You choose," he told her, managing a smile as they ambled through the crowded village. Hogwarts students rushed from shop to shop, chatting and laughing, enjoying their day off. James thought he saw a glimpse of Sirius and Remus but the two figures had slipped into Zonko's before he could be sure. It seemed almost the entire castle, naturally excluding the First and Second Years, had decided to come and brave the rather cold Halloween day. With new reports of attacks coming almost daily now, Hogsmeade trips served as an escape for the students.

"I chose to go into Scrivenshaft's," Lily told him, her arms swinging at her side. "Its definitely your turn."

"The worst part about being a Seventh Year is that by this time you've seen everything there is to see," James groaned.

Lily smiled a bit at that. "But the best part is that getting through the crowds is much easier," she pointed out. As if on cue, a few Third Years ducked out of their path in a hurry as James and Lily cut through their midst. They both chuckled at that.

The laughing eased some of the tension as they continued wandering. James heart had come down a bit from his throat now though his palms were still sweating. Every time her hands brushed by his, James's pulse sped to twice the normal rate. She's going to kill me before this day is done, James muttered to himself as he wiped his hands on his jacket.

"We could go to Madam Puddifoot's," James suggested weakly as they passed the gaudy teashop. He was happy to hear her snort.

"James Potter? In Madam Puddifoot's?" Lily laughed outright and James grinned at her. "No, not even I could condemn you to such a fate."

"I thought girl's liked that sort of thing," he insisted, still smiling as Lily gave the teashop a patronizing look.

"If you thought for a moment I was just going to be some girl, James Potter, today might come as quite a surprise for you," Lily responded smartly.

James couldn't help but grin at her comment. He knew better than anyone that Lily was anything but 'some girl'. "How 'bout the Three Broomsticks?" James proposed as they passed the pub. "Generic, but I swear Halloween's never been this cold before."

"I could do with some butterbeer," Lily agreed.

"Three Broomsticks it is," James decided and the two cut across a couple lines of traffic to enter the crowded tavern, making younger students jump out of their way.

Inside was smoky and warm, fires crackling merrily as gusts of cold autumn air blew in from the door. Student and professor alike were milling about, enjoying a drink, a good laugh, and a reprieve from the daily grind that came with the magic of Hogwarts. A few tables away, James saw Frank Longbottom and Alice Wright wave towards their direction. Lily waved back as Alice winked, making her blush. James loosened his shirt collar and tried not to flush along with her. He always thought first dates felt like a spotlight had suddenly been trained on him, everyone watching to see whether he screwed it up or not. Not this time, he told himself as he and Lily wove through the hoards of people, not with Lily.

"Hey Frank, Alice," James greeted their friends with a nod as they pulled up two empty chairs.

"Hi you two," Alice smiled at Lily and James, sliding an extra butterbeer across the table. "Marlene just left before she could drink it, muttering something about an owl, so feel free to share it." Lily looked slightly red again at the suggestion as Frank and Alice smiled sickeningly at each other. James wanted to roll his eyes.

Every group of friends had a couple that had been together forever and for James and Lily, Alice and Frank were it. Frank had asked Alice out Second Year after spending First Year blushing every time she looked at him. They hadn't let each other out of their sight since. Disregarding a minor misunderstanding in Fifth Year, it had been very apparent for a long time that the two were destined to be together. Usually James didn't mind their silent communication or shared glances but at a time like now, he couldn't help but feel intimidated by their relationship. Sitting here on a first date with Lily against Alice and Frank made James feel as if he were a First Year trying to take on the entire Bulgarian Quidditch Team by himself. Gulping, he pushed the butterbeer towards Lily.

"You can have it," he told her, hoping to evade Alice's push towards a direction he and Lily weren't ready to go yet.

Lily shook her head and handed it to him. "No, I'm fine. You go ahead and have it." James glared at her and Lily only smiled challengingly.

"Really, Evans," he said solemnly. "I'm not even thirsty."

"Good," she said. "Neither am I."

James rolled his eyes. "Just take the drink," he insisted. "You're the girl, I'm the guy. That's how it works."

"You take the drink, James," Lily told him. "You were the one that was cold!"

"Or you could share," Alice chimed in. James shot her a glare, knowing she thought it would be cute. Alice only smiled and gestured towards the hot drink. Begrudgingly, James and Lily took turns sipping out of the cup, both blushing and avoiding each other's gazes.

"So James, how's the team looking this year for the first match against Hufflepuff?" Frank asked, leaning back in his chair. James sighed in gratitude.

"I have to admit I'm pretty pleased with our new additions," James began as Lily and Alice settled into talking about how Mary MacDonald had been eyeing Hufflepuff Brian Harris since they got partnered in Potions.

At first, James kept glancing at Lily to make sure she was having a good time. He figured out she must have been doing the same for every once in awhile, their eyes would meet at the same time. Then they would both quickly avert their eyes after that, each pretending that they hadn't seen the other watching them. James was painfully aware of Lily's hand on the table and his own a couple inches away. If they were alone, perhaps he would've tried to wind his fingers into hers, but Frank was giving him knowing looks, making James uncomfortable.

Soon enough, however, the four settled into an enjoyable conversation about Professor Kettleburn's latest injury. It almost seemed….normal. As if sitting in the Three Broomsticks together was a common occurrence. James roared with laughter as Alice gave a perfect impression of the professor's wavering tenor voice. Lily guffawed beside him, nearly sloshing butterbeer over the table as she slapped her knee. They were all four making quite a scene but they couldn't help it. James saw McGonagall eyeing them from the counter and half expected her to come and reprimand them for "disturbing the peace" but she only smiled, leaving James to believe that Madam Rosmerta had to have put something else in the drinks today. As Alice collapsed onto Frank's shoulder in a fit of giggling, Lily and James made eye contact. With a smile, James reached out and placed his hand over hers, heart pounding. Lily blushed scarlet but then smiled back and twisted her hand around his.

The conversation continued as the empty glasses of butterbeer stacked up around the table. James learned that Frank was actually a talented Quidditch player though he'd never tried out for the team because he thought it'd hurt his grades. James promised that he'd let him join some of their practices in the coming week or two and maybe teach them all some new tricks. With Amos Diggory as Hufflepuff Captain, they might even need it. Laughing at some remark Lily had made, James drowned the last of his glass before glancing around the table and noticing that their drinks were gone once more.

"Your turn to get this round, James," Alice told him, entwining her arm around Frank's. "Lily and I got the last one."

With a sigh, James pushed back his chair and stood up, letting his hand slip out of Lily's. He missed the warmth immediately though the room was stifling hot. Eyeing the line up at the bar, James joked, "If I don't come back soon, save yourselves." They laughed.

"We'll make sure Lily makes it out alive, James, don't you worry," Alice jested, making him flush again. Turning around, he strode towards the bar, whistling as he went, too happy to see anything else but Lily's laughing face. If he had been paying attention, perhaps James would have seen the boy sitting in the corner, eyeing him with contempt. Perhaps then, he would've saved Lily some trouble. Because Severus Snape had seen them together, and he wasn't happy.

"I'm going to go to the lavatory," Lily told Frank and Alice as James slipped away. She was sure that she must have looked a mess by this time and welcomed the chance to freshen up, not that she was trying to impress anyone in particular or anything.

"Sounds good," Frank said as Alice snuggled into him. "Just don't drown or Potter will have my head on a spike." Lily laughed it off but as she walked towards the bathrooms, she couldn't help but wonder if James really did feel for her. She had continued to tell herself it was only the fascination of the chase for him but today had seemed so real. In fact, she was actually enjoying herself.

Winding around tables, Lily caught the eye of Moira Clarke, who promptly sent her an evil look. Startled, Lily wondered what she'd ever done to her. Then she remembered. Moira and James had gone on a date Sixth Year. In fact, if Lily recalled correctly, they had gone on the Halloween Hogsmeade trip together. It was the day he had punched Charlie in the middle of the road. The memory still made Lily burn with embarrassment.

Scooting around her table, Lily noticed Moira wasn't the only girl giving her jealous glances. Shocked, she saw at least three or four others giving her envious looks. With a smile, Lily realized it was because she was here with James. Not sure whether to laugh or feel insulted, Lily strode through to the back of the pub as quick as she could, marveling that so many girls really did want to go out with him. And here, James still picked her…

Out of nowhere, a dark shape hurtled towards her, a single pale hand fixing on her arm. "Ow," she exclaimed, trying to twist out of its grip. "Let go!" Looking around, she tried to see if anyone else had noticed her struggle but the bathrooms were just far enough away from the action for anybody to notice.

The hand tightened and began to pull Lily farther into the corner. Gritting her teeth, Lily reached back with her other hand and slapped the figure's face as hard as she could. "Ouch, Lily!" the shape exclaimed, reeling back. "I just wanted to talk."

"Sev?" Lily asked incredulously as her old friend drew back his hood and regarded her warily. "Why did you attack me?"

"I didn't attack you," Severus said moodily. "I was trying to get you to come with me somewhere quieter but you slapped me."

Lily almost sighed in relief before suddenly their whole situation came flooding back to her. She reeled back coldly. Her and Severus had avoided each other this past year or so, but she should've known that it couldn't last forever.

"What do you want?" she asked him in a hardened voice, her gaze flicking to her table. Frank and Alice were alone still. James must still be in line. James. Lily craned her neck for a view of him. If she could only get his attention, she knew that he'd make Severus vanish in an instant.

"I just want to talk," Severus responded flatly. "Can we go outside?"

Lily stayed silent.

"Please," Severus asked in a softer voice. "I promise it will only take a second."

Sighing, Lily took one last hopeful look at her table before turning her gaze on Snape once more. "Five minutes, no more."

He almost looked happy as the two slipped out of the back door and into the alleyway between the Three Broomsticks and the Post Office. "Not here," Lily said automatically. It was too deserted. "Cant we talk in the street?"

"If you want to be seen," he told her.

"I don't care." Lily swallowed. She knew Snape wouldn't hurt her, but his friends were a different story. Plus, being in an alleyway with him alone would make people wonder. It was best if they were out in the open. Then if something did happen, she'd have witnesses.

With a sigh, Severus led her out into the bustling road. No one even gave them a second glance. Severus and Lily had been very careful to let no visible animosity show during school. They mostly acted like the other didn't exist, though Lily played the part better than Severus did. She sometimes saw his eyes wander onto her like James's did with the same longing expression in his eyes. But while James sometimes made her heart twist, Severus's gaze only made her cringe.

"What do you want?" she repeated coldly to him again as they slowed to a stop at the alleyway's mouth.

Snape's gaze hardened as she glared at him. "What are you doing in there…with him?" he hissed.

Lily stiffened, as she knew he referred to James. "Its none of your business," she told him, wanting nothing more than for him to turn around and slink back off to his Death Eater friends.

Severus looked furious. "You promised me you never would do it," he spat, eyes suddenly burning as he took a closer step to her. "You gave me your word!"

Lily took a step back at the ferocity in his words but quickly gathered her wits. "That was before a lot of things," she told him callously.

"If this is about what I called you again-," Snape started to say but Lily cut him off.

"Merlin, Severus, it was just a word," she told him angrily, rolling her eyes. "You were not the first person to call me it." With a sigh, Lily took a deep breath and attempted to gain control of her anger again. "It was much more than the word," she said, much more calm. "It was the reasons why you said it."

"And what were they?" Snape asked coldly.

"You know what they were," she snarled, causing Derik Hughes to give her a strange look as he passed. She lowered her voice again. "It was your new "friends" and the rumors I was hearing about what you got up to at midnight in the Forbidden Forest. It was the attacks on Gryffindors and the way you looked at me as if I was vermin." Lily willed herself not to wince at that last bit." I was your friend and you turned your back on me, remember?"

Severus had the decency to allow a faint blush to creep into his sallow cheeks. "My friend?" he scoffed. "I wasn't the only one with rumors floating around about them. You had new "friends" too." The way he said "friends" made Lily feel surprisingly defensive of the Marauders. It was a feeling she hadn't expected to experience towards them. "Friends that tortured me endlessly and laughed at my pain. And now here you are, with the boy you told me you'd never love." His last comment hung in the air with a sneer and Lily felt herself go cold inside.

"Is that what this whole meeting is about?" she asked, her voice having gone dangerously quiet as both breathed heavily in the autumn air. "It's not even a ploy to get my friendship back? It's about the fact that I'm with him?" Lily felt hurt.

"Are you actually on a date with him?" Snape asked, his voice devoid of emotion as he stared at Lily.

She paused for a brief second before saying, "So what if I am?"

Severus's lip curled in anger. "He's a prat, Lily," he told her heatedly, his dark eyes fixing on hers. "You know that even more than I do. I don't care if he has a Head Boy badge or not, that toerag is nothing but trouble."

"Hey, that toerag is my date," Lily defended, crossing her arms. "And he's changed a lot, not that you'd have noticed. When's the last time he cursed you?"

"That's not the point!" Snape exclaimed. "It makes no difference!"

"It makes all the difference in the world," Lily told him, brushing a stray hair from her face.

"I don't care if you say he's 'changed'," Snape snarled. "I know that he hasn't. He's just pretending to get you to fall for his classic Potter charm. You're the only girl who hasn't given in, so naturally he'll do anything to get you."

Lily was very silent for a moment, breathing heavily. "You are not to judge who I go out with, Severus," she said evenly, trying to sound in control though she knew she was anything but. "You gave up that privilege a long time ago."

"A promise is a promise," Snape continued through gritted teeth.

"It was a promise made by a young girl who didn't know what she was saying!" Lily exclaimed, her cheeks flushing.

"You knew enough to hate him!" Snape spat back.

"I never hated him!" she blurted out. Snape's mouth opened and closed and Lily inwardly cursed herself at the admission. It was something she had been thinking about for a while now, but she'd never uttered her musing out loud until this moment.

"Yes, you did," Snape whispered quietly, coming closer to her. His voice sounded pleading this time, all traces of enmity forgotten at her admission. "I don't know what they've done to you to make you believe that you didn't but you hated them all. Especially him. I know you at least hated Potter." His eyes searched hers imploringly but Lily found she couldn't give him what he was looking for. What she had said had been true. All those years when she thought she hated him, it had only been because she was afraid to let him in. It had been the only way for her to save herself.

"You knew I never truly hated him," she said softly, closing her eyes as she took a deep breath and then opening them again. The words coming out of her mouth scared her. "You knew the truth even before I did. And it scared you."

Severus stayed silent, his eyes pleading with her. "Don't Lily…"

"I think you knew all along that someday, I would say yes to him," she continued bravely, every word a struggle to form.

You don't mean that," Severus winced, his voice hurt.

Lily looked at him with sympathy, her own heart pounding. "I do," she whispered solemnly.

Severus glared at her with hatred but Lily saw the hurt in his eyes. Steeling herself, Lily told herself that this was not her fault; that this was something Severus had done to himself. She felt tears spring up to her eyes and she rubbed at them viciously, trying to hide them from her former friend.

"Lily, I'm so sorry," he told her earnestly. "Please, don't go to him just because I pushed you away. I beg you." She could see he was telling the truth. He really was sorry.

"You knew it was always him," she willed herself to whisper and knowing it was true. She could remember every moment she'd spent with James. First Year when Sirius and he and spilt pudding in her lap at the Start of Term Feast. That time when she had fallen asleep amongst her books in the library Third Year, studying for her Arthrimancy final and James and Remus carried her back to the Common Room, Sirius and Peter carrying her piles of books behind them. When she'd failed a pop quiz in Transfiguration during Fourth Year and James had found her crying in the bathroom and offered to tutor her in secret so she could keep her pride. She remembered Fifth Year when he'd revealed his animagus secret to her and how she hadn't wanted to tell him how great she thought he was for it. She couldn't forget how he punched Charlie Donahue for her in Sixth Year. As much as she yelled at him for being so stupid, Lily knew she was secretly grateful for what he had done. And then just last week, when blushing and grinning, he'd asked her for the millionth time to accompany him to Hogsmeade. It was the first time Lily said yes.

It was as if all these memories floated through her head at once, jumbling on top of each other and clamoring to be heard. Lily knew that they all pointed to the truth in her words, every last memory. Looking Severus in the eye, she said simply, "After all this time, it was always him. Always."

Snape straightened, all emotion draining from his eyes as he took in her rejection. "Well then…" he said coldly, his eyes boring into hers as his face screwed up in anger. She was sure he would've said something he would've regretted, but a voice from behind Lily startled both of them.

"Lily? Is that you?" She turned and saw James making his way towards them, his cheeks still flushed from the warmth of the pub. "Alice and Frank said you'd gone to the bathroom but when I couldn't find you Derik told me…."

His voice had trailed off as he caught sight of Snape. Lily watched as his eyes narrowed, expression growing hard and unreadable. "What's he doing here?" he asked harshly.

"Leaving," Snape replied coldly.

Looking down, James seemed to notice Lily's red eyes though she had tried to cover them up. His eyes darkened as he whipped around to Snape. "What'd you do?" he asked, dangerously quiet.

Lily tugged on his sleeve. "Just drop it James, its not worth it," she told him, not daring to glance at Severus.

James looked down at her, confusion in his eyes as he put his arm around her protectively. "Yes, I'm not worth it, Potter," Snape sneered. "Just prance right on back into your little pub and forget I was ever here." James bristled but Lily nudged him. Snape took a step closer to Lily and gave her one last glare.

"I hope you enjoy the rest of your date." He spat out the last word before turning and striding into the crowd, his robes billowing as if he were a bat gliding through the street.

As she watched him vanish, Lily felt her emotions boil over and she held her free hand to her eyes to futilely try and hold back the tears that threatened to break through.

"Lily?" James's voice drifted to her, more gentle than she'd ever heard it.

"I need to leave," Lily managed out thickly, withdrawing her hand from his and wiping her face with it.

"We could go back to the-," James started to offer but Lily cut him off.

"Not back to the castle," she said. "Not where people can see me."

James was silent for a moment. "I know where to go," he said quietly. "Follow me." Lily watched as he turned around and strode through the crowd of students. Turning around, Lily looked one last time to see if Severus was behind her. He wasn't. Lily didn't know whether to feel disappointed or relieved.

"Are you coming?" James's voice came back to her as he marched back to her quizzically.

She craned her neck one last time. "Yeah," she finally said, looking up at James. "Yeah, I'm coming with you."

With a small smile, James held out his hand and Lily tentatively took it. It was warm and strong and she could feel the muscles earned from hours of throwing a quaffle tighten when he closed his fingers around hers. The gesture was simple but for a moment, Lily found herself unable to remember why she had been so upset in the first place.

"Where are we going?" she managed to ask, hiding a small flush as they turned into the throngs of students.

"Well," James looked thoughtful for a pause, "Its kind of a secret."

"What kind of secret?" Lily asked, slightly nervous now. The Marauders weren't necessarily known for non-dangerous secrets.

"Lily, Lily, Lily," James smiled as they continued. "Do you trust me?"

Lily only looked at him. Did she trust James? She thought she did a few minutes ago when Severus had challenged her feelings, but now as they walked together, Lily found the hammering of her heart left out any options of knowing for sure by the wayside. She wasn't even thinking clearly.

"Yes?" she told him but it came as more of an unsure question.

"Then follow me."

James watched from a few feet away as Lily tentatively followed him through the door and into the Shrieking Shack. Seeing it in person made James ashamed they never had cleaned up more. A few of Sirius's toys were in the corner or tossed carelessly around the room while whole sections of the couch and furniture were strewn across the floor. Remus had certainly made it look scary enough. He only hoped Lily overlooked the ferocious bite marks on the bannister and the legs of most of the chairs.

Her expression was lifeless and empty, as if Snape had sucked out her soul. It was an expression Lily had never let him see before. Her arms were clasped tightly to herself as looked around for James. He gestured towards the stairs and Lily nodded. There was a bedroom up there with a bed and a chair they could sit on that hadn't been completely mauled yet. What he would say when they got there, James had no idea. Would Lily want to be alone? What had gone on back there?

The door creaked open as James pushed on the handle. It felt strange to be a human in a shack he usually only visited as an animal. Lily followed behind him, looking all around her with interest. "So this is where you all wait out the full moon," she stated softly, her fingers trailing the piano in the corner's edge and coming up with dust.

"The one and only," James attempted to jest. Lily managed a small smile. She sat down on the bed and let her toes gently scrape along the floor.

"I wonder what will happen to this place when Remus graduates," she murmured. James sat down gingerly in the chair and hoped it didn't break beneath him. Turning his gaze upon Lily, he saw her eyes were rimmed with red and slightly puffy and her hands were slightly shaking. He didn't really care though. In his mind, she was always beautiful.

"Sorry about back there," she said suddenly, blowing out a deep breath. "I haven't talked to Severus since the Sixth Year and it was…quite an encounter."

"Are you okay?" he asked her softly, not knowing what to say. Lily shrugged.

"Its not like losing his friendship was something new," she told him with a small smile. "I've had a long while to let it sink in that some people don't understand the concept of loyalty."

"I'm sorry," James said, not knowing what else to offer her. It hardly seemed appropriate to hug her, as it seemed most girls did to other girls when they were upset.

Lily snorted at his comment and looked like some life had reentered her. Her eyes met his and James found that she looked...amused. "You know, Potter," she said, the corner of her mouth twitching up in a grin. "It truly is ironic that after all these years, you're the one that's never left me. Severus was my truest friend and you were…well…" Lily broke off and thought for a moment. James stayed silent.

"Now Severus has abandoned me. And yet, you still sit here." Lily looked at him with a serious expression on her face.

"Here I am," James said with a weak smile. What was he thinking? He cursed himself inside. She probably thought that was insensitive, he told himself. James resisted the urge to smack himself in the head.

"Why are you here, James?" she asked him softly. For once, there was no venom or annoyance in her voice as Lily regarded him with unreadable eyes.

"Because…" his voice came out strangled. He didn't know what to tell her. That after all these years, the crush he had in First Year had developed into something much greater? That he was here because of the way her hair looked after she just woke up or because of how she was the only girl in school who ever stood up against him because she knew it was right? That he sat in the Shrieking Shack with her because the left side of her nose crinkled when she smiled and that she always somehow made him want to be someone better? "…you're my friend," he finally told her.

Lily sighed and James wanted to curse himself again. "I know you are," she said, leaning back against the wall and rubbing her eyes again. "Severus was my friend too, once. I thought he would never, ever leave me. Not in a million years. But now I know. Friends cant always be trusted."

"I would never betray you, Lily." James had blurted out the words before he had though about what he was saying. Her eyes suddenly filled with tears.

"I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, sitting up and rubbing at her eyes vigorously. "I'm not usually like this. You know that. I don't know why Severus still hurts me after all these years."

"Because he was the first person to hurt you," James said softly, knowing it was true.

"No he wasn't," Lily lowered her hand and revealed her swollen eyes. James still thought she was beautiful. "My sister hurt me when she hated me for being a witch. Half of Slytherin house hated me First Year when they learned I was muggleborn. That hurt too. Charlie Donahue hurt me when he dumped me in front of everyone last year. I know what it's like to be hurt."

James knew he probably shouldn't argue with her, but he felt he should continue. After all, that's what Lily and he always did best. Argue. "Snape was the first person that you truly let in," James continued cautiously, his eyes never leaving her face. "You thought of him as part of yourself. When he left, it was as if you had lost a piece of you."

"How would you know?" she asked, though her question held no venom.

"Sirius," James said simply. "To think of him turning his back on me..." James shook his head at the dark thought. "I don't know if I'd ever be the same."

Lily looked hard at James for a moment. "You know, Potter," she said, "You're a lot smarter than you look."

"I'll try and take that as a compliment." He grinned and was pleased to see that Lily smiled too. When she cried, he wanted nothing more than to hold her, but he still felt as though the redhead wouldn't welcome his touch at the moment. They fell into a comfortable silence, listening to the wind howl through the Shack. James mused how it sort of did sound like a werewolf. One very far away, that is.

"Sorry for ruining our date," Lily suddenly said, looking up at James apologetically. "I finally said yes but still blew the whole thing."

"Nah," James assured her, shaking his head. "You didn't blow it."

Lily laughed, making James feel better. "Well I don't know what you'd call this then." She gestured to them and the Shack.

"Just a detour," James said confidently, waving off her concerns. "We got to explore, right?"

For a moment she looked as if she was going to point out how he was here once a month but then she seemed to think better of it, starting off on a different tangent with a queer look in her eye. "Sometimes, its still hard to believe that out of all the girls in Hogwarts, you like me." James felt embarrassed at his poor job of hiding his emotions. Though he'd slipped up while asking her out, he thought he'd done a decent job of acting normal around her this year.

"I never said I liked you," the words tumbled out once more before James could stop them. To his surprise, Lily looked let down, a frown fleeted across her face before suddenly returning to stoic. James swore under his breath.

"Oh," she said, blushing slightly, staring at the floor. "I guess I just assumed after all these years, you still…you know… And then last week, with the Patronuses…" She trailed off.

"I never said I liked you," James repeated, red in the face and looking anywhere else but at Lily. "But I do."

She glanced quickly at James before turning her face downwards again, though she looked even redder than she did before. He waited for a few painful moments before giving up. Pushing himself off his chair, James walked to the window and took a breath of fresh air, more to escape Lily and her response for a couple more moments. He always had such success with every other girl he had ever hit on. Why was Lily so difficult? Everything he said seemed to be wrong.

He drew his head inside the window again and turned to face the room once more. Lily had moved against the wall and was now leaning against it and watching him closely. She held an expression on her face that James had never seen before and it scared him witless. All he wanted was to leave the Shack and pretend all of this conversation had never happened.

Suddenly, Lily walked towards him, her eyes never leaving his. "Did you mean what you just said?" she asked softly, crossing her arms.

James felt his heart pound. The door wasn't that far away. Maybe he could still make it there. "James?" Lily asked him, her eyes pleading with his for an answer. Swallowing, James managed a nod, bracing himself for whatever came next.

Lily bit her lip and her eyes filled with tears again. "Why me?" she whispered, drawing away from him again and covering her face.

James felt his heart sink. Of course she rejected him. Again. How could he have even let himself hope for anything else? Hadn't the past seven years taught him anything?

"Why me?" she said again, but this time louder. "Out of every girl in Hogwarts, you like me."

"You don't need to keep repeating it," James told her dryly, feeling as though he'd been punched in the gut and then kicked in the groin.

"Why?" she demanded, stopping to look at him with red eyes and a hardened expression. "When you could have anyone, why have you always trailed after me, Potter?"

James couldn't believe she was actually going there. "Why do you care?" he retorted coldly. Rejection had never stung so badly before.

"Because all these years I've continued to pass you off as if you had some fleeting crush on me and yet you still insist that you like me," Lily told him, regarding him with a dazed look on her face. "You're starting to make me believe you and I want to know why."

"What guy wouldn't want you, Evans?" James asked her fiercely, feeling angry that he had to answer to her after she'd already made it clear that she wasn't interested. "You're brilliant, and talented, and never back down from a fight. Of course I like you. How could I not? With you walking past every morning, beautiful as ever with the only personality that's been able to match mine besides Sirius!"

He was breathing heavily, his heart pounding in his chest. Finally, he had told her. It was done with. If she didn't want him then at least James couldn't say he hadn't tried. Lily stared at him in wonder and maybe even apprehension.

Then suddenly, she took a step forward. "I've been hurt, Potter," she said solemnly as James continued to calm his heart. "You know that. Why should I believe that you wouldn't just walk out on me too like you have a million other girls?"

James nearly yelled out in frustration. "Because, Evans," he almost snarled. "After seven years of torture and rejections and every possible insult in the book, I'm still standing right here." He gestured to where he stood. "I cant help but come back."

Lily looked pained as he spoke but James didn't care anymore. She took a step closer to him. "James Potter likes me," she murmured. "You're the most handsome, charming guy at Hogwarts who's never lost a Quidditch Match and you would pick me before any girl in the school?"

For a moment, James was distracted by the fact that she had complimented him but he shook himself out of the trap. "I think I've been trying to make that clear for awhile now," he told her darkly. "If you're going to reject me again, please just do it already. I cant take it anymore."

Lily only shook her head. "James…. Seeing Severus today…It just reminded me how much darker this world is becoming. Friends turning into Death Eaters. Muggleborns in more danger than ever…I just don't know right now."

James felt as though she had shot him through the heart. For a second, he didn't believe what he had heard. Lily had always rejected his advances, but something about this seemed so…final. She had actually said no. Taking a breath, James pulled himself together.

"That's all I needed to know," he told her flatly, trying to wrestle all emotion off his face. "I promise I'll stop bothering you now."

Turning, he strode towards the door. "James, that's not what I meant!" Lily called after him. His fingers paused on the doorknob, breathing heavily and wondering if he should turn back. "James, please."

Shaking his head at his own stupidity, James turned around against his better judgment. Lily was looking at him, stricken, her hands clutched over her heart. He waited for her to speak first.

"James," she pleaded softly. "Its not you-."

He cut her off. "Let me guess," he said sarcastically, "You were about to finish with 'its me'."

Lily nodded, her voice growing stronger. "You don't want me," she told him, shaking her head. "You…you need something more than I could ever give you."

"Oh really?" James asked quietly. "And what would that be?"

She sank onto the bed again, looking distressed. "I'm not right for you. You're Prince Charming and I'm the girl who'd rather be her own knight in shining armor. You have the whole school cheering for you on a Quidditch Field while I earn dirty looks for acing my last three exams. While the whole house of Gryffindor adored you, I had a Slytherin friend. For a while I didn't even think I was a Gryffindor. You're a pureblood and I'm muggleborn. And lets face it James, in these dangerous times dating me could get you killed. The whole world would be better off if we weren't together."

James was silent for a long moment. He only watched as Lily sighed and let her head sink into her hands. "That's why you don't like me?" he finally asked.

Lily lifted her head with a weary expression. "I never said I didn't like you," she told him softly.

James attempted to banish the small glimmer of hope that rose in his heart at her words. Taking a deep breath, he crossed the room and gently sat next to her. "Evans, I don't want to offend you," he started gravely, "But those are the stupidest reasons I've ever heard."

For a second, he thought Lily might smile but then she rolled her eyes. "Those are not stupid!" she declared, turning to face him defiantly.

"If my being a Pureblood is part of what's keeping you away from me, I'd gladly go to the Ministry and request a name change. Then no one would ever know," he told her seriously.

"Its not just that…" she said, trailing off. "Its everything. You're… I don't know… Mr. Perfect according to every girl in school, and I'm just…me."

James gulped as he stared down at her. A response was on the tip of his tongue, barely restraining itself as she tugged on a strand of hair. He had gone this far and plus, she'd already rejected him so there really wasn't anything to lose. But still… Well, better now than never, James told himself, grimacing.

Gathering a deep breath, James Potter looked down at Lily and let the words tumble out. "You know that's all I've ever wanted."

For a moment, she didn't move and James thought that maybe she hadn't heard. Or just hadn't wanted to. Then she looked at him. "You mean it?"

He nodded. "You know I do."

Lily took a deep breath. Then looked at the floor. Then took another breath. Then muttered to herself for a moment and sighed. Then looked at James. Her gaze was unreadable. Then suddenly…

"First rules first," she said in a determined voice. "Absolutely no PDA. And I mean it. Nothing beyond hand holding at least. We all remember when Marjorie Jordan and Bill Horn dated Fifth Year and nobody wants to see that again."

James couldn't help but gape. "Secondly, no pranks. I'm serious about that too, Potter. If I get one more hair dye slipped into my shampoo we will be over faster than you can catch a quaffle. Three, while I understand having you around will mean adopting the other three with you, please try and get them to respect my privacy. You know how it irks me when my reading time is ruined. Four, you will not let Sirius make sexual jokes about us. I don't care how you do it, just make him-."

"Wait a second," James cut her off incredulous, "Does this mean-Are you actually saying you'll go out with me?"

Lily attempted her best annoyed expression but he thought he saw a hint of a smile. "As smart as you are Potter, I'm surprised you hadn't caught onto that already."

His face split into a grin. "You're sure you mean it?" James asked her again, as he stood and turned to face her. "Because I'm warning you Evans, if you say yes, I will never, ever let you go."

Lily smiled at him and stood. Biting her lip, she placed her hands on his chest and looked at him deeply before finally whispering, "Yes."

With one last beaming glance, James wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into him, letting her lips brush against his. "Lily," he murmured, letting his forehead rest on hers, noses barely touching. "Promise you'll never let me go either."

"After all these years?" She smiled. "Never."

James let a chuckle escape as he tucked a strand behind her ear and gazed at her with wonder. Gently, he cupped her face and lowered her lips to his, barely brushing. He could feel Lily breathing as he slowly drew her closer, pressing every inch of her body against his.

"James?" she suddenly whispered. He nodded slowly and brushed back another strand of hair. Lily drew away and looked at him solemnly. "We've waited seven years. Don't take your time."

Throwing his head back, James laughed. He tightened his grip on her waist and pushed her back against the bedpost. "Trust me, Lily dearest," he told her with a grin. "We've got all the time in the world."

He leaned in once more but Lily suddenly pushed back against him, a grin playing about her mouth. "James?"

"Ahuh," he murmured, kissing her neck.

"Did we ever tell Alice and Frank we were leaving?" she asked, chuckling.

"Oh please," James grinned, "They knew before we did that this was where today was going."

As she smiled, James leaned in and captured her lips in his. Her mouth was soft, as he knew it would be. Moving his lips against hers, James slid his hand around her neck and deepened their kiss. This was right, he thought as Lily pressed back against him, the warmth of her hands apparent even through his sweater. This was why he had waited for all these years. Because Lily fit into him as no other girl ever had. She was his perfect match.

As if sensing what he was thinking, Lily slid her arms around his neck and opened her mouth, allowing his tongue to glide in and explore. Her arms wrestled with his hair, tugging on the dark strands and giving him goosebumps. He had warned her, James thought as they both tumbled backwards onto the bed, he had told her from the start. Once she said yes, he was never, not ever, letting her go.

ONCE MORE, THANKS FOR READING! IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME! REVIEW IF YOU CAN AND I'LL PM TO EACH ONE PERSONALLY IF YOU HAVE AN ACCOUNT. LET ME KNOW!