Title
: Hinata goes to HogwartsChapter
: #2 – The ChallengeAuthor:
MurtoLegal Crap:
Yeah, you know the drill. I'm saving up to afford Internet of my own so as if I can afford the rights to LH and HP.Pre-FanFic Notes:
Ok, this particular chapter is in response to a challenge Andrew Joshua Talon laid down for me. I hope you are all pleased with the results, and I apologise if people don't really like the self-insert fic but both Talon and Myself are in this chapter.If anyone wishes to see the terms of the challenge, you'll find them at the end of the chapter, or just click on the link to read the reviews - you'll find the list in there too.
I'm also trying for a new sort of style. After watching Azumanga Daioh over and over (thus becoming an avid fan) I now split each of my chapters into mini-chapter scene thingee's, each with their own sub-heading. This way each scene works as a stand alone skit but they still link together to make up the story as a whole, similar to Azumanga. It's also easier to pick the story up again if you get distracted or have to leave the computer mid-chapter.
WARNING: I THINK I'M IN FOR A VERY, VERY LONG CHAPTER……..
Chapter #2 – The Challenge
The Hogwarts Express…
It had been a rather quiet trip on the Hogwarts Express. Apart from Shinobu's Cat trying to kill Naru's Owl at one stage, the trip had been (until now that is) very uneventful. Murto was sitting in his compartment on the train along with Shinobu, Naru, Kanako and Keitaro. The other's (Kitsune, Seta, Su, Haruka, Motoko and Sarah etc.) were in the neighbouring carriage. It was obvious from the amount of Haruka's cigarette smoke pouring out of their window that Su and Sarah were causing quite an uproar, as did the occasional bump or explosion.
"My god, why do they have to be so noisy?" Naru complained.
"D-don't take it too hard, Naru-senpai. I'm sure they mean well…" Shinobu said meekly.
"Yeah, I'm sure Su meant well when her Mecha-tama went on a rampage and a robotic turtle civilisation tried to blow up the entire of the Hinata, along with the City." Keitaro replied sarcastically.
"Oh yeah? And this is coming from a person who gets beaten up on all of the time.." Naru said with an acid tongue.
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!"
Then the door to their compartment opened…
"Sweet nargle berries, look at this pathetic lot! I bet you they're all Mudbloods…" said an evil-looking teenage boy with platinum-blonde hair, flanked by two taller and more stout teenage boys.
"Oh, and who might you be…?" Naru said, her temper still hot from the previous argument.
"The name's Malfoy, Draco Malfoy. My family is all filthy stinking rich Dark wizards, of course not that the Ministry cares. My father is always down there, chillin' with his homies…"
"Really…." Kanako asked, stroking her chin.
"Yes, really. Just think yourself lucky, Japanese Mudblood, that your not yet in a school house other wise I would have taken off 10 points for your insolence." Malfoy said with a sneer.
Malfoy turned and started to walk out the door. Naru, whose temper had been slowly building the entire trip finally vented, charged at Malfoy and Naru-punched him down the length of the train. (See similar in Ep 1 of Love Hina)
"What a retard." Murto said, closing the door behind Naru. "I hope I don't end up in the same house as that Malfoy idiot.
"You called?" asked a strange-looking girl with glasses, holding a magazine upside-down.
"Hello" Murto said. "I'm Murto, this is Naru, Kanako, Shinobu and Keitaro. Who might you be?"
"I'm Luna Lovegood. I'm surprised to see so many Japanese people on the train this year. I was just reading The Quibbler with my new friend, Mat-su-nee is it?"
"Yeah! It's just like that episode of Liddo-kun where Liddo-kun learnt magic and met this insane chick and they read porno mag's together then they got herpes and -SPLAT" Mutsumi yelled, though she could not be seen because she was in another compartment somewhere else on the train.
"NO! NOT LIKE THAT!" Naru yelled down the hallway.
"It appears she has a severe case of the Squigglers, and magical-disease that causes people to die then come back to life when they get over-excited. I better go…" Luna said, hurriedly leaving.
"Ok, that was……fascinating in a head-ache inducing kind of way." Keitaro muttered. No sooner did he finish his sentence than an interesting threesome of Hogwarts students in red-robes ran into the room.
"Hi, quick intro's. I'm Harry, this is Ron and Hermione. I'm a child prodigy, she's super-smart and Ron's, well, some other person who hangs around us…" Said Harry, wearing glasses and a scar (on his forehead).
"Hi, just read the script, you'll see our names there somewhere." Murto said.
"Oh yeah, so there is!" Ron said, reading a piece of parchment in awe. "Well, it says here that we have to explain that 'Luna isn't exactly with it, and that her nickname is 'Loony' Lovegood.'"
"GIMME THAT! She went that way." Murto said, taking back the parchment and then pointing down the hallway.
"Ok, bye." Harry said running out of the room with Hermione and Ron. Unfortunately enough for Harry though he missed the door and walked straight into the wall. "Umm, I meant to do that…"
"Hmm, interesting crowd" Kanako said.
"HONESTLY LOONY LOVEGOOD, IF YOU KEEP ON TALKING THAT BULLSHT I'LL RIP OFF YOUR CLOTHES AND THROW THEM IN A GAY BAR!!!"
"Pfft, I don't know how that's gonna work." Keitaro said.
"Shinobu, what's wrong?" Naru asked
Shinobu was curled up in a fetal position in the corner.
"Harry…….Potter…….so……..Kawaii!!" she mumbled, her eyes not focusing.
[Nb – Kawaii is Japanese for 'Cute']
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
The Sorting…
Everyone was waiting outside of the Great Hall, getting ready for the rumoured 'Test' that determined what house you were to be allocated to.
"If it was a punching bag, I'm sure Naru'll get top marks…" Murto said, being a smartarse as usual.
"Ok f'rst years, you lot ready ter go in?" asked Hagrid, the grounds-keeper who has bushy, wild hair and stands 3 meters high.
"Yes" everyone mumbled in unison, clearly not very enthuiastically.
"Hagrid, ano…how come a lot of people's speech is spelt funny here? I'm not really good at English at school and…" Shinobu asked, trailing off.
"Tha's because alo' of us speak funny accents, like my sco'tish-y accent fer instance. Which reminds me; Murto, where's the funny spellin' fer yeh Aussie accent?"
"Oh, umm…yeah. About that…" Murto said, scratching the back of his head.
"I'll give yeh 24 hours. Also, Keitaro? Professor Snape wants ter see yeh after the Sorting."
Haruka raised an eyebrow, smoking her cigarette as usual.
"Oh, and 'er NO SMOKIN'!"
"Hai…" she said, flicking her cigarette off down the hallway somewhere. It hit an old tapestry, which caught on fire whilst screaming 'IT BURNS!! ARRGGHH!'
"AND NO FIRE'S!" Hagrid said, grabbing a fan and using it on Nearly-Headless Nick, who just happened to be floating by at the time. The wind pushed Nick through the burning tapestry, which extinguished the blaze.
The big doors to the Great Hall opened and the first years (though a considerable number stood 3 feet taller) walked in and lined up. The Sorting Hat was just finishing it's song (singing in a very grouchy voice too):
…and I say to myself,
What a wonderful world…
Everyone clapped, Fred and George Weasley were doing 'classic disco hits of the 70's" and had just finished I will survive, complete with correct octave.
"Oh my, I wonder how they managed to sing so high?" Mutsumi asked.
"Oh I did them a little favour…" Sarah said, holding a wooden mallet and a G-clamp vice.
"Motoko Aoyama" Professor McGonagall said.
Motoko sat down on the seat and placed the hat on her head. The hat barely touched her head and it yelled "YOWZA!! Sheiz, this one's got power the likes of which I've never seen. Must be….SLYTHERIN!!"
Motoko sat down at the Slytherin table, where she got wolf-whistled by a few fanboys including Malfoy, who no sooner mentioned him and her in the same sentence than had her blade pointing at his throat.
"Mitsune Konno" McGonagall yelled.
Kitsune put on the hat and almost immediately it started hiccuping and going red in the face.
"Is it supposed to be that red?" Kitsune asked.
McGonagall shrugged.
"Well, ash I was shayin', thish chick-a-dee hash gotsh the beshterest liver in existance. She's alsho got HUMONGO titties, unlike Motoko'sh which are like little orangutan titties….must be……GRIFFINDOR!!" The hat yelled.
Kitsune got up and sat down at the Griffindor table whilst Dumbledor and everyone else in the Hall sweatdropped.
The hat continued in this retarded fashion for ages:
Shinobu, Naru and Mutsumi all ended up in Slytherin with Motoko.
Sarah, Murto, Seta and Kanako were put in Hufflepuff.
Keitaro, Haruka and Talon were placed in Griffindor with Kitsune.
Kaolla Su was put into Ravenclaw by herself, as it was decided that it was probably for the best…
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
The Journey…
"I'm late, I'm so terribly, terribly late!" Keitaro said, running as fast as he could to Snape's office.
Just as he turned a corner however, he ran right into two moving stacks of books. Hundreds of books went everywhere, most of which impaling the other students who were using the hallway at the time, the rest of the books were flying around like birds, exploding or trying to chew people's faces off.
"Ano, Gomen, Gomen-nasai…" Keitaro said, bowing over and over again in apology.
"It's Ok, don't worry." Hermione said reassuringly. Both Hermione and Seta, who were carrying the books were in the process of picking them up.
"I'd help, but I've got to go…" Keitaro said.
"That's Ok." Seta said.
Seta started picking up the books whilst Hermione pulled out her wand and used Stunning spells on the one's that grew legs and tried to run away. Her aim was bad however, as she quite often hit passing students, suits of armour or the odd portrait.
Keitaro continued down the hallway until he met Kitsune, who was crouching behind a statue of Beldarg the Flatulent.
"Shh," she said. "Watch this…"
Indeed just as poor Neville Longbottom reached the top of the stairs he was seized by a dozen Oompa Loompas, who jumped down from the rafters. They picked him up and carried him away whilst he was screaming "Please, honestly it wasn't me. I'll never eat that much chocolate again, I swear!!!"
"YEAH! WHO DA MAN!!" Kitsune said, dancing and moon-walking everywhere. "Lets see, 'Kitsune – 3, Peeves – 1'. Lets see you top that one!!"
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiigh………….t" Keitaro said, sweatdropping big time.
Finally, Keitaro reached Snape's office. Being the dipshit that he is, he just let himself in, revealing the strangest sight he'd ever seen.
Snape was sitting in his office with Kanako and Moaning Myrtle. On the table in front of them sat a floral tea-set, and the rest of the office was decorated with doilies and lace, complete with matching pink curtains.
"URASHIMA!!! THAT'S IT, 50 POINTS FROM GRIFFINDOR!" Snape yelled. With a flick of his wand his 'decorations' disappeared.
"Oh, right. Get rid of the decorations just because Moaning Myrtle is here! Let's all be mean to Moaning Myrtle because she's dead." Myrtle moaned, floating down through the floor.
"Professor, we shall discuss the Tupperware party later." Kanako said, leaving the room.
"That'll be 25 points from Hufflepuff for mentioning 'The gathering of plastic-container things' in front of other students." Snape whispered threateningly.
Kanako licked her finger and drew a line in mid-air. "Me - one, Snapey – Zero," she said as she left.
Snape whinced, it was quite evident that Kanako had pushed his temper to the limit.
"Ok, Urashima. I'm pissed off, so I'll just say it once. Though I highly disapprove, Dumbledore believes that your invulnerability could come in handy. Apparently you have been appointed as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." Snape said, clearly not happy with the message he's been forced to give.
"Arigatou, Thank you so much Professor." Keitaro said, grasping Snape's hand and bowing.
"But, however. Don't think that because you've become a part-time member of staff that I'm going to go easy on you in your Potions classes. If anything the insolence that your family dishes out should earn you all negative points."
"Still, thank you. By the way, why did you call it 'The gathering of plastic-container things'?".
"Because it doesn't sound as woosy."
"Ok, thank you." Keitaro said as he made his way out of the room.
"Oh and Urashima, 15 points from Griffindor."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
Classes…
"Who is the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher?"
"I'm not sure but rumour has it that it's that retard Keitaro!"
"Keitaro!? You've got to be shitting me?"
"Shh, here he comes…"
The whispers in the classroom died down as Keitaro Urashima walked into the classroom with a pile of textbooks in his arm.
"Moshi moshi, I'm Keitaro Urashima – the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." He said, trying to sound as dignified and mature as he could. He was, after all, talking to a class of Hufflepuff and Griffindor 1st years. Most of the class were aged around 11-12, but this year Hogwarts admitted some mature-age foriegners.
"Yeah! Woo hoo!!! Thatsh riiiight. Aye aye Captain! ;s What ish we doing in today'sh classh…." Kitsune said before passing out. Her bottle of Sake rolled off the table and was caught by some mice. The mice took the bottle over to a mouse hole at full speed squeaking 'For the messiah, he will surely praise us!'. #
Everyone sweatdropped.
"Well, umm…I know you've passed out and all, but no alcohol in class. 5 points from Griffindor." Keitaro said, as he straightened his tie. "Anyway; as you all surely know rumour has it that this teaching position is cursed, but I assure you that this isn't the case."
30-something spears then fell from the roof, all of which narrowly missing Keitaro as he walked over to the blackboard.
"Argh! Alright, who threw that?"
"Oops, my bad." Sarah said sheepishly. "I was aiming for Ron Weasley, Professor."
"Hey! You lied to me! You said that I was in this class, I thought something was up." Ron Weasley complained, packing up his stuff.
"Oops, my bad." Sarah said again.
"Man, I'm in so much trouble…"
Keitaro waited until Ron had left the classroom, and then started again.
"Ok, so today's topic will-" he began, though cut off by none other than Andrew Joshua Talon, who suddenly burst into the room, panting heavily.
"Sor…ry I'm late Pro…fes…sor." Was what Talon managed to say between his desperate gasps for air.
"Anyway, as I was saying today's topic will be…" Keitaro continued, as he opened his teachers notebook. "The eradication and extermination of Tiger-demons."
Everyone gasped, Talon more-so because he was still exhausted.
"So," Keitaro continued. "Mr Talon, would you care to assist me in the demonstration?"
"W-W-WHAT!?" Talon yelled, clearly objecting to the request. "Why me? Why not someone else, like Seta…?"
"I like rice…" Seta said cheerfully.
"…or Kanako…?"
"MwahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!" Kanako cackled.
"Well considering that you ARE a weretiger and that those two are clearly insane, I'd say you have no choice. In your own time, Mr Talon." Keitaro said, rather matter of factly.
"Oh all right." Talon said in defeat. In the blink of an eye he had turned into a tiger, it's green eyes staring at the class menacingly.
"Now class; first, you take out your wand..."
Everyone picked up their wand. Some students had novelty wands. Murto's was black with flames up the side, Seta's was pink with frilly bits and Haruka's was painted like a big cigarette.
"The words are Catus Expellimarus. Then you just flick with the wand, like this…" Keitaro explained, pulling out his own wand. With a flick of his wand he yelled 'Catus Expellimarus!'.
Talon was promptly knocked back and sent flying through several desks, glass jars and watermelon stands. When he met the wall however we bounced off and continued the above process for about 5 minutes before finally coming to a halt.
"In the name of all that is holy (or truly sinister, wink wink) THAT FRICKIN' HURT!" Talon complained, obviously quite pissed off.
"Hmm, actually now that I think about it, the spell seems quite similar to Naru's punches." Keitaro said, checking a few of his reference books.
After a few seconds of perusal and jotting down of notes Keitaro finally put the books down and took off his glasses.
"Ok class, now you try…"
"Oh……my……g-" Was all that Talon said, before riding the Defence Against the Dark Arts Express.
# - This reference to the mice is acknowledging the mouse civilisation in the parody books "Barry Trotter". In the Philosophers Scone, Barry drops the scone and it is seized by a mouse who eats it. Quirrell dies, as does Nick Flamel. But the mouse then aquired the gift of immortality. Then, in all his super-intelligent splendour, tricks the other mice into believing that he is the messiah. The mouse civilisation then spends the rest of the books trying to take over the world.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
Play ball…
The crowd was huge at the first Quidditch match of the season, and amongst the huge sea of green, silver, red and gold were our hapless ex-Hinata residents scattered around in their house groups.
"Ok Lee, start the commentary now." McGonagall said.
"Yep, what's the word? Only kidding, Sonorus. WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO THE FIRST QUIDDITCH MATCH OF THE SEASON, SLYTHERIN VS GRIFFINDOR!!!!!!" Lee said, his voice magically amplified.
Madam Hooch carried the crate out to the middle of the field and waited for the players to arrive.
"OK, HERE'S SLYTHERIN!!! FIRST THE 3 CHASERS – BONES, NARUSEGAWA AND AOYAMA!!!!" The crowd went silent at the mention of Motoko and Naru's names. "THE BEATERS, CRABB AND GOYLE!, THE KEEPER – BLANE, FOLLOWED BY MALFOY WHO'S ON THE SEEKER POSITION!!!"
The Slytherin's went mad; Shinobu and Mutsumi were among them screaming "GO MOTOKO, GO!".
"NOW, PLAYING FOR GRIFFINDOR ARE JOHNSON, FINNIGAN AND TALON!!" Again, the crowd went silent. "THE WEASLEYS AS BEATERS, ANOTHER WEASLEY AS THE GOALIE AND YET ANOTHER WEASLEY AS THE SEEKER!"
"Stupid bitch" Harry Potter said, his tongue almost dripping with poison.
"What'ya say Harry?" Hermione asked.
"I mean, GO GINNY!! YEAH WOO!!" Harry said in a fake-sounding voice, almost completely drowned out by the cheering Griffindors.
Both teams' players got in formation around Madam Hooch.
"Ok, I want a nice, clean game," Madam Hooch said. "No hand-to-hand combat and NO SUICIDE BOMBING!!"
She blew the whistle as she kicked the crate, setting the Quaffle, Bludgers and the Golden Snitch free. Everyone kicked off, becoming green and red blurs zooming all around the field.
"GRIFFINDOR HAVE THE QUAFFLE!!! JOHNSON EASILY GOING STRAIGHT UP THE FIELD, BONES NARROWLY MISSES AN INTERCEPT, JOHNSON TO FINNIGAN, OOH! THAT BLUDGER WASN'T EXACTLY NICE TO HIS SKULL NOW WAS IT?" Lee yelled excitably.
Indeed Finnigan had been hit in the head by a Bludger that had been sent at him by Goyle. Finnigan dropped the Quaffle and Goyle motioned to Bones to go for the dropped Quaffle.
"WOW! LOOK AT THAT!!"
Talon appeared out of nowhere and in an impressive loop-the-loop caught the Quaffle. The opposing chasers Motoko and Naru where a bit away and slightly above him.
"How dare he?" Motoko yelled.
"What? Don't have a miscarriage!" Naru replied.
"He looked up my robes for a few seconds there, I swear!!!! YOU PERVERT!!!!"
"…AND OH MY GOD!! I'VE NEVER SEEN A JAPANESE PERSON RUN THAT FAST!!! Of course I'm neglecting those brave souls who tried to run from our nukes, but you can't blame them for trying!…."
"Lee, if your not going to commentate properly I'll relieve you of your duties…" Professor McGonagall warned.
"Ok Professor, no need to get bitchy. AN AMAZING 40M BOMB DIVE FROM AOYAMA!! LOOK AT HER GO!!"
"Shit" Talon said, narrowly missing a Bludger that Fred Weasley was aiming at Bones. "Hmm, maybe if I….pfft, why not?"
"WHAT THE….? WOW, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT!? IT APPEARS THAT TALON IS AN ANIMAGUS! LETS HOPE HE'S REGISTERED WITH THE MINISTRY OTHERWISE HE'S IN BIG TROUBLE!"
Indeed Talon used his weretiger capabilities to turn into a weretiger (oddly enough, what were you expecting? A Spanish Omlette?).
"Argh!! TIGER!!!" Neville Longbottom yelled, pulling out his wand and firing Catus Expellimarus spells from the stand.
"NO!! BAD NEVILLE!! BAD BAD BAD!! DOWN…" Hermione yelled, hitting him with a rolled up copy of The Quibbler.
Though, as good as Talon's liked to think he was, it was getting pretty difficult to dodge Bludgers, Motoko's Bomb Dives, the other chasers and Neville's little blue bolts of spell all at once.
"Hang on," Murto said to Kanako. "If he transformed into a tiger, wouldn't he too heavy for the broom? I mean, tigers weight at least 400kg…"
"Oh yeah," Kanako replied. "HEY TALON!!! YOUR TOO HEAVY FOR YOUR BROOM!!!"
"Oh, so I am…" Talon said, and upon completion of the sentence fell 100m out of the air.
"Mine!!" Naru called as she caught the Quaffle.
"Die Tiger!" Neville screamed, continually pummeling Talon with Catus Expellimarus spells. As a result, Talon was randomly bouncing around the bottom of the arena, knocking over desks, glass jars and conveniently placed watermelon stands.
"So Kanako, how did you get Motoko and Naru to play Quidditch?" Murto asked.
"Well; in Naru's case she didn't want to be shown up by a stupid pervert weretiger, and in Motoko's case she just needed to vent some anger because she's in her period and is pissed off with me for some reason," Kanako said, rather matter of factly. "Sometimes I just don't understand my bitch…"
"I AM NOT YOUR BITCH!!" Motoko yelled from near the Griffindor hoops.
"SHUTTUP BITCH!" Kanako yelled. "Su, could you make the game more interesting for me please?"
"ROGER!! I'll use my Mecha-tama v4.27!!! QUANTUM THINGEE'S AWAY!!!" Su responded, pressing buttons on a remote she pulled out of nowhere.
Nothing happened.
"Umm…it didn't work did it? That's because muggle electrical devices don't work at Hogwarts, too much magic in the air." Hermione said smartly. "Honestly, it's all in Hogwarts; A History."
"Ok, in that case…" Kanako said, turning to Shinobu. "Shinobu, take out your wand, point it at Naru and say Magnetis Homo Sapiens.
"W-w-why, Kanako-senpai? I'll get in trouble." Shinobu replied, trying her hardest to say 'No'.
"I'll hook you up with Harry Potter…" Kanako offered.
Almost immediately Shinobu grabbed her wand and yelled Magnetis Homo Sapiens. A 2 blinding beams of yellow electricity blasted out the end of her wand. One connected nicely with Naru in mid-flight and the other hit the poor Remus Lupin, who was sitting in the stands chatting with Professor Dumbledore.
Suddenly, without warning both Naru and Lupin were drawn to each other by an powerful yet invisible force. Naru came off her broom and Lupin went flying out of the stands ("I'll see you later Mr Dumbledore, sir!") and both collided in mid-air, eventually falling to the stadium floor below. They were then hit by Talon, who was still on his desk, jar and fruit stand breaking spree.
"Ano…I didn't mean to." Shinobu said, just about to cry.
"What was that spell" Sarah asked.
"The Human Magnet spell. It'll stick two people together like a magnet, no matter where they are or how far apart they are. You can also use it on one person and an inanimate object." Kanako replied.
"B-b-but if you know so much about the spell, why didn't you do it yourself K-Kanako-senpai?" Shinobu asked.
"Pfft, I don't do my own dirty work!"
"…JOHNSON HAS THE QUAFFLE!!! HE'S CLOSING IN ON THE SLYTHERIN KEEPER BLANE. JOHNSON SHOOTS…"
"Special Technique: Get the hell outta my way - broom splitting sword!!!" Motoko screamed, as she rode her broom like a surfboard. With a swish of her sword she cut Johnson's broom in half and knocked the Quaffle out of his hand into hers.
"YEAH BABY!!! THAT'S MY BITCH!!! I'VE GOT A 50 GALLEON BET GOIN! IF YOU WIN YOU'LL GET SOME LOVIN' TONITE, MARK MY WORDS!"
"I…AM….NOT…YOUR…BITCH!!!!"
Motoko was on a roll; dodging, ducking and weaving in and around everything like a pro. She jumped onto George Weasley's broom and kicked him off too his doom, thus commandeering his Comet Two-Sixty. Then, after collecting a bit of speed she charged for the goal posts.
Ron Weasley was really worried now. After seeing three of his team-mates fall to their near deaths more sweat was collecting on his brow than on the underarms of a 490kg Albanian man who had just walked 10 meters.
"…AOYAMA GOES FOR THE LEFT HOOP, IT'S A DUMMY. SHE HITS WEASLEY WITH THE HANDLE OF THE AMAZING SWORD OF HERS!!! WOW!! NEVER SEEN A MAN GO DOWN LIKE THAT BEFORE!!! SHE GRABS THE TOP OF THE HOOP, HER BROOM CONTINUING ON WITHOUT HER…"
"Shaq-u attack-u…." Motoko said serenely, just casually dropping the Quaffle through the hoop.
"…SHE SCORES!!!! SLYTHERIN LEADS 10 – 0!!"
Then the Slytherins started singing…
Motoko is our queen
In Silver and green
And if she's had her period
She'll cut open your spleen!!
"QUIET!!!!" Motoko yelled.
The entire crowd went 'Meep' and went deadly silent. After about 5 minutes of complete and utter silence (not counting Talons bangs and thuds, Naru and Lupin's arguing and the groaning of all the near dead Quidditch players) Ginny Weasley started a mediocre 50m dive. Malfoy started too, but was too late.
"Oh well, it's worth a shot…" Motoko said, throwing her katana.
"…GINNY HAS SEEN IT…"
Thud!! Ginny hit the ground and rolled for 30m. Motoko's sword missed Ginny by millimetres, and when she stopped rolling she was knelt over on the ground, clutching something golden in her hand.
"…GINNY HAS GOT THE SNITCH!! GRIFFINDOR WINS!!!! Again…"
The crowd went mad as usual. After all, no Harry Potter book would be complete without Griffindor winning.
"Good work Ginny!! Utterly brilliant!!" Talon said, running up to her covered head to foot in bandages. "What's wrong?"
"..in half. Snitch…cut…in…half…snitch…cut…in…half…" Ginny mumbled to herself, over and over again. She was clearly in a state of shock.
In Ginny's hand was the Snitch, cut neatly in two pieces.
"Oops, my bad." Motoko yelled from on top of the center goal post. "By the way, can I get down now please…?"
The End…of chapter 2 at least….
Post Fanfic notes
: Oh…my…god. That was by far the longest chapter I've ever written. Oh well, I hope you all like. Read and Review.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE TERMS OF THIS A J TALON CHALLENGE I UNDERTOOK…
Murto... er... Murto! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is thus!
0: Keitaro gets stuck teaching DADA. I show up in his class for a lesson on
subduing tiger demons. Naturally, things go straight to hell.
1: Naru MUST get stuck with Remus Lupin in an amusing way while they are at the
school (you could try for Remus/Naru, which is a rather intriguing idea, I must
admit)
2: Shinobu gets a crush on Harry Potter.
3: Kanako and Moaning Myrtle show up, having tea with Snape, at least once.
4: Peeves and Kitsune have a prankster's duel.
5a: Sarah has a fun time making Ron Weasly's life misrable.
5b: Luna Lovegood and Mutsumi become friends and start reading the Quibbler together.
6: Harry walks into a wall at least once.
7: Hermione and Seta make a huge mess with textbooks.
8: Motoko somehow joins the Slytherin Quidditch team (Kanako's help) and kicks
arse!
9: Haruka lights a tapestry on fire with her smoking.
10: Someone must say any of these phrases at least once:
"I'm going to rip off your clothes and throw them into a gay bar!"
"Is it supposed to be that red?"
"Quantum thingies away!"
"MOTOKO IS OUR QUEEN!"
"Sweet nargle berries!"
"I'd kiss you if you weren't a stinking Mudblood."
"Are you SURE you don't have a crush on Luna?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Attention
: TALON-KUNThere you go Talon, one challenge completed. I told you I'd take 12 hours, but I'm sorry. It took me 36 hours. Not solid writing of course, otherwise I'd be tired and video blind by now. I'll send you my challenge when I get around to thinking up some conditions.
Thank you, it was truly an honour to be sent a challenge from you and I had a great time writing it. I look forward to the next one.
L8er,
Murto
Naru: Murto, are you going to release us?
Murto: No, why?
Lupin: Well, it's gonna be full moon soon. And it appears that she's not very fond of were-anythings.
Murto: I'd go talk to Shinobu about that one, but you'll have a hard time getting her off Harry…
Naru and Lupin walk away ackwardly, still stuck to each other