It took a little longer than I thought. Sorry.

2/3 My Paws and Whiskers


"Hi Sammy!" Harley said, walking in the door. The kid looked up his book and nodded absently. Honestly, she had no idea what he liked about chemistry. She had hated taking it in high school and college. The babies rushed up to her, wagging their tails and panting for food. She made sure to hold the kitty cat high above their reach. "Hi babies, mommy's home! I'll getcha some food in a sec, okay?" She went in the room she and Mistah J shared, shutting the door to keep the hyenas out. She set the kitty in a comfy cardboard box, mentally going over what they'd need for it: a litter box, food, toys… She gave the soft fur a quick pet before dashing to the freezer and tossing out meat slabs to the hungry hyenas. They immediately turned their attention to gobbling down the beef.

The Joker hung his purple coat up on a hook, trying to figure out why his head felt stuffy. His eyes and nose itched, too. Harley finished feeding the hyenas, letting his hired clowns live to rob another day, and gave him a hug.

He sneezed.

He sneezed again. Three times.

"What's the matter, puddin?" Harley asked. Her harlequin costume was dusted with feline fur.

The Joker frowned. "I think I'm allergic to cats," he said, and sneezed again.

Harley was making breakfast the next day when she heard a creak. Hmm. What's that? Sounds like a door hinge…. Her eyes grew very big. "Ohhhh no oh no," she said to herself as she sped around the corner.

Oh yes. There the little kitten was, creeping through the den toward the hyenas' corner. The door to her bedroom had been clawed open. "Here, kitty-kitty," she whispered, trying to get the cat's attention without waking the sleeping hyenas.

It didn't stop, but kept going. "Stubborn cat," Harley muttered. She snuck up behind it and tried to scoop it up into her arms, but it yowled loudly. "Shh, stupid! Do you want the babies?!" Harley hissed at it.

Too late. The hyenas woke, sniffing the air. Bud got to his feet and went for the little kitten. Harley shrieked.

But Bud yelped and turned tail, running back to his bed sporting a long claw mark on his nose. Harley stared incredulously at the cat, which had something resembling a smirk on its face.

"What?" The Joker said, poking his head in the door just in time to see Lou give the cat a try. He yelped even louder, running to hide behind Bud. The cat was definitely smirking. The Joker put his hands on his knees and laughed long and hard, wearing only his boxers and a t-shirt, having just gotten up. Harley picked up the cat gently, which seemed to be fine with being held now that it had proved its point.

"Aww, aren't you just the bravest kitty, yes you are," she said, burying her face in its fur. A smile bloomed over her face as she realized, "You're purring!" And it was, a gravely rocks-in-a-pepper-grinder sound, but oddly soothing. "J, listen!" She said, holding the cat up to him.

The Joker listened, and then he sneezed. Four times. "Listen, pooh, I'm glad you like the little fur ball. It's a little scrapper, but, ah, I don't wanna keep sneezing forever."

"You could always get allergy shots," Harley said cheerfully.

He stared at her, eyes heavy-lidded. "No."

"Oh," she said, deflated.

"Ask the itchy redhead if she wants Scraps," the Joker said, heading for the coffee maker.

"Scraps!"

"What about it?" the Joker asked.

"You named her! It's such a good name! Don't you think so?" she asked the cat. She purred louder. "See?" She gave him a kiss.

He sneezed. "Yeah. Now go put Scraps down before I suffocate," he said, sniffing.

"Okay!" she said, and skipped off.
He shook his head in disbelief. "Females."

"Hiya Red!" his harlequin said into the phone

"Has he been hitting you again, Harl?" Ivy asked.
"No," Harley said, a little confused. "Why?"

"That's usually why you call me."

She only called her best friend to ask her to come get her when her man gave her black eyes? That was pretty bad. Red was her best friend, for goodness' sake! Harley resolved to call more often about more trivial things. "Oh. I'm actually asking for a favor," she said, twisting the cord around her finger. She was in her and Mistah J's room, sitting on the purple comforter. The kitty was in the corner in its cardboard box, sleeping away, looking like the perfect picture of cuteness.

"What kind of a favor?"

"Well…you know that kitty that we rescued?"

"……Harl, I don't like where this is going…."

"Mistah J's allergic to cats so I was wondering if you could take the kitty –her name is Scraps –and keep her for me since I can't keep her here please please pleaseplease Red!" Harley gasped out all in one breath.

"No."

"Please?"
"No."

"With cherries?"

"No!"

"Why?!?!?!"

"I don't do cats." Click.

Harley sighed. That was a total bust. "Don't worry, Scraps," she whispered, "I'll find you a home." She made sure to shut the door on her way out of the room; Bud and Lou had had enough excitement for one day. She sat at the kitchen table in their gang's hideout and sighed again. She usually gave her puddin' a hug when she was down, but he was out blowing up a bank or something to bring home the bacon. What would she do to cheer up now?

Sam "Sammy" Jones knocked on the door of the Joker gang's hideout. He had badly wanted to be there when his explosives went boom, but he had a very important chemistry test, which he also badly wanted to ace. Plus the fact that his mother would have a seizure if she knew what he was up to. He kept telling himself it was to gain experience in a construction industry or something, the bombs and explosions. He knew he was lying to himself. The one thing he would not do, however, was drop out of school. He knew the one thing that got you out of the Narrows was an education, and he was going to get one.

"C'mon in," a woman's voice said.

"Don't I need to give the password?"

"Oh yeah. What's the password?"

"Roses are red, violets are blue, The Batman is dead, and Robin's got the flu."

"C'mon in."

He pushed open the door to see Harley Quinn sitting at the table eating a gallon of Blue Bell Cookies n' Cream ice cream rather despondently. Her long legs, clad in Nike shorts, were hooked around a barstool. "Hiya Sammy. Did ya want some?" She asked, holding up her spoon.

"No thanks." He hesitated, and then asked, "Is something wrong?"

Harley sighed, twirling her pigtails around a finger. "I can't find anyone to give Scraps to. And she needs a home, 'cause she can't stay with Mistah J and me 'cause he's allergic."

"Oh," Sam said, setting his chemistry book on the counter. "Ah, who's Scraps."

Harley visibly brightened. "Oh, she's the little kitty I rescued!" Now Sam remembered. "You wanna see her?"

"Okay…" Sam said.

Harley popped up from the table. "She's this way," she said, leading the way into the room that was off-limits to everyone except her and the Joker. It was an unsaid rule among the gang that you only went in there if you had a death wish. The Joker was very particular about his personal space. Sam stopped at the door, not willing to violate that code. Evidently, Harley knew it, or she inferred it since he didn't pass through the doorway, because she brought the cardboard box containing the cat out into the living area. "Isn't she just the cutest thing?" She asked him.

"Hey, kitty," he whispered to the sleeping cat. Her ears twitched at his voice, and she blinked beautiful yellow-green eyes. Yawning, she displayed a long pink tongue and began to knead her claws on the blanket in the box. "You're pretty, girl." She had a striped brown and tawny-gold coat of a tabby. He stroked her gently, and she began to purr.

"Awww!!!!" Harley cooed. "She likes you, Sammy!" He thought she was the only person who had ever gotten away with calling him Sammy, mostly because he didn't dare to correct her. "Hey, Sammy, would you like to take her?"

review....