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Chapter 2

"Hal?" the woman's voice called from the other room. Hal grimaced and kept playing WOW.

"I'm in the middle of something babe!" He called back. His avatar, Tighten, the seven-foot tall barbarian, was kicking some elf's ass. She came into the room.

"Hal I'm going to bed." She said.

"Okay. Goodnight." He said. His health was running low but he'd get that elf...

She touched his shoulder.

"I kinda though maybe you'd want to..."

"Ow fuck! What the hell babe?" His avatar died. "You made me die!" She let go of his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." She said. He calmed himself down. He needed her for now. Instead of turning around and making her sorry he fixed a smile on his face.

"It's okay honey. It's just a game." She looked nervous. He stood up and took her hands in his. She was wearing a short black silky nightie that left little to the imagination. He looked her up and down. Her hair was straight and black. Her eyes were brown and lined with heavy black. She had piercings in her ears and her nose. Her skin was pale. And her body...

Was wrong. All wrong. Her breasts were too big and although her ass was about the right size she didn't have the narrow waist he had wanted ever since he started working as her cameraman.

But she wasn't here. That Roxanne was off fucking an alien. This was his Roxanne. Roxanne Rogers. He remembered the first time he had seen her name his stomach had lurched and his cock had hardened. No one wrote to him in prison. He wasn't notorious enough to attract groupies like some of the other prisoners, so he had been surprised to get mail. He had torn it open and read;

Dear Hal,

I saw you on the TV. It's so unfair what they did to you. I don't think you're a bad guy. If Megamind hadn't tried making you a super hero then you never would have done the stuff they arrested you for. I know you don't know me but I'd like to get to know the real Hal. Please write back?

Your friend (hopefully),

Roxanne Rogers.

He was more than interested. He didn't get a lot of female attention at the best of times let alone here in prison (even the men hadn't approached him, thanks to his solitary confinement) He read it over and over again. He was disappointed (of course) once he read her last name but still...He read it again, licked his thumb and then rubbed it over that last word, over and over again until it was smudged out and the letter was now signed; Roxanne R.

And here she stood in front of him.

"You're right babe. Let's go to bed." He said and grabbed her ass under the nightie. It was round and filled his hand nicely. He pressed his mouth to hers and jammed his tongue in her mouth. Still locked together they made their way through her tiny apartment to the bedroom and she started pulling his clothes off him. He was feeling good about this. Maybe tonight he'd last long enough to switch to doggy style. That would be awesome.

They had been fucking for nearly six months now. He knew her address from their correspondence so as soon as he'd escaped he'd found her place, and that night he'd finally gotten laid for the first time ever. And it had been great, best minute and a half of his life, but at the end of it he'd felt empty, and he knew why.

This wasn't the Roxanne he wanted. Soon, he told himself. And in the meantime he got to stay here with this dumb bitch paying the bills and getting him off while he fantasised about the woman he really wanted. He pushed Fake Roxanne down on the bed and thrust himself inside her, eliciting a small gasp.

"Oh Hal." She moaned. He shut his eyes.

"Roxanne. You're gonna feel so good." He whispered and began to fuck her.

Roxanne sipped coffee and read over the story she was due to report on later on in the day. With Megamind consulting with the Metro City PD these days there wasn't a lot of crime going on. Today's top story: An armed hold-up of a 7-11. She had been lucky to get it too. Her nemesis Harry Newman was reporting on the third-biggest cake ever baked for Metro City Elementary School's annual cake festival. She read it aloud, trying to make it sound more exciting than it really was.

"At 11 o'clock at night the 7-11 on the corner of eighth and twelfth streets was held up by an armed assailant. According to the security camera the gunman burst into the store, terrorizing the clerk and demanded goods and cash. He then vandalised the premises before leaving. The trauma the clerk must have suffered is indescribable." She deepened her voice and changed her accent to a drawl. "Yeah Roxanne, it was a horrific ordeal. I could see murder in the man's eyes and I wondered if I would ever see my family again." She went back to speaking normally. "This was once a city where citizens could feel safe in their homes, workplaces and even walking the street at night. When an innocent man is attacked in his place of business you have to ask: what has society come to?" she finished up. There was a giggle behind her. She turned to see Barbara, her new camera-person, holding a bunch of red roses. She was a pretty girl with dark red hair and thick black glasses. She was dressed in bright red jeans and a white jacket and some fairly bold makeup and a few piercings. Yet in spite of her appearance she was painfully shy with most people. It had taken Roxanne a few months to coax her into a friendship, and the girl had been somewhere between elated and panicked when Roxanne had asked her to be a bridesmaid for the wedding. "What's so funny?" she asked.

"That accent was terrible. And the 'gunman' only got away with $200 and a tube of Pringles." Barbie laughed. Roxanne glared at her and then sighed.

"He got a four-pack of Red Bull too. But yeah I know it's lame. What have you got there? Who's been sending you flowers?" Roxanne's nosey reporter instincts kicked in. She had never known the girl to so much as look a man in the eye let alone date one. Barb blushed.

"They're for you. The lobby asked me to bring them up while I was down there." Roxanne raised her eyebrows and then smiled. Megamind usually sent her blue, white or black roses when he sent flowers, and he hadn't done it in a while. She knew she was giving that goofy grin again but didn't care. Five days! It was five days until the wedding, five days until she married the sweetest alien on the planet.

"Thanks Barbie!" she sat the flowers beside her computer monitor. "Oh and don't forget we have that fitting this afternoon." Barbie nodded.

"Have you figured out how to dress Shiyounin yet?" she asked. For such a shy girl she was unusually comfortable around talking robot fish. Although every time Megamind was in the room Barbie would blush, mumble and find somewhere else to be. Roxanne shook her head sadly. "Why not just let her go as she is? No one would mind and her white suit would look great with the flowers."

"I'll think about it." Roxanne lied. "Come on, we have a clerk to interview."

"At 11 o'clock last night the 7-11 on the corner of eighth and twelfth was held up by an armed assailant. According to the security camera the gunman burst into the store, terrorizing the clerk and demanded goods and cash." Roxanne attempted to keep up the dramatic tone of voice but it was difficult. The 'gunman' on the CCTV footage was a short, overweight man dressed in dark clothes, a hooded jacket and ski-mask, which he couldn't quite seem to see out of properly. The gun was an obvious fake even on the crappy black and white footage. She continued with her relentless pursuit of The Story. "He then vandalised the premises before leaving." The footage showed the criminal apparently trip on the way out witha bag of snacks and cash in hand, and knock over a display of candy. "The trauma the clerk must have suffered is indescribable." She turned to the clerk, a small older man who wore glasses and looked bored.

"Not really. I get robbed at least once a month." He said. There was an awkward silence. "Um...still having a weapon pointed at you, the threat of death and the constant reminder of moral decay in this city must be trying." She prompted. He shrugged.

"Meh. I'm covered by insurance." He said. Roxanne screamed inwardly but forced a concerned look onto her face, trying to sound convincing. "This was once a city where citizens could feel safe in their homes, workplaces and even walking the street at night. When an innocent man is attacked in his place of business you have to ask: what has society come to?" She motioned 'cut' to Barbie. She thanked the clerk who shrugged again and went back to work.

Back at the office two more bunches of flowers had been delivered, this time a mix of blue and black, and another bunch of red were sitting on her desk. She smiled. Megamind always seemed to know when she needed cheering up.

"I'm off Roxanne. I'll meet you at the store for the fitting. Oh and don't forget, we're meeting at the bar at eight tomorrow night for your hens night!" Barbie said excitedly. Roxanne shook her head.

"Do we really need to go through that? Can't we just have a few quiet drinks?" Roxanne asked. Barbie shrugged.

"Shiyounin organised it. Talk to her! See you later." She waved and she left. Roxanne sighed and got. The six o'clock news was on a big screen at the other end of the office. She may as well stay to watch.

She sat on someone's desk and watched Chris the anchor introduce the program and announce her story. It was the top story of the day. Roxanne shook her head. Maybe she should ask Megamind if she could tag along on some hero business or something. She cringed at the awkward back and forth between herself and the clerk and then chuckled at the CCTV footage. That guy really was a candidate for World's Dumbest Criminals. She wondered if she'd seen this footage before somewhere, the guy looked familiar. The story finished up and Chris announced the Metro City Elementary School's annual cake fair and Roxanne got up. This she was not staying for.

She had a robotic fish to dress.

"Come on. Come on that's it Rei you're doing really well!" Minion said. He was down on one knee with Rei a few feet away in her little black robot suit. She waved her fin at him from the dome of her suit. "Come on. Walk to Daddy!" She smiled and swam around in a circle. He detached her dome from the suit and cuddled the glass sphere in his metal arms. "Great try." He said. He looked down at where Minion Junior was clutching his leg. Junior couldn't walk either but he had figured out how to use the arms. He grinned up at his father and let out a few bubbles.

[[How are they doing?]] Shiyounin asked in Japanese. She was insisting their offspring be raised bi-lingual.

"Pretty good. It's a start anyway. They're only young yet. Human babies still can't sit up at their age." Said Minion.

[[True. They're such slow creatures aren't they?]] she commented. [[I'm going out. Tell Megamind I've borrowed his hover bike?]] she asked. Minion raised what passed for a fish's eyebrow.

"Um, where are you going, how long will you be and can you even ride the hoverbike?" Minion asked. Even he had never been game to ride the thing.

[[Dress fitting with Miss Ritchie. I don't know how long I'll be, as long as it takes for her to figure out how to make me look like a human I guess. Oh and I'm going out tomorrow night too. It's Roxanne's hens night.]] she said.

"Why do you have a better social life than me?" he asked sadly.

[[Why not throw Megamind a bachelor party?]] she suggested. Minion perked up.

"That's a great idea. Okay, the day after tomorrow you're on babysitting duty!" he said excitedly. Oh the ideas were coming to his head already!