Emotions
[2]

I sat in my old bedroom at Severus' house, well my house now. Everything was exactly how I had left it when I made my way to the Hogwarts express last year, I'm pretty sure Diddy had kept everything ship shape in the same manner that Severus had always demanded. I had sent off my scary looking owl which I had never named a while ago with a letter to Neville asking him to come over. I was packing for later in the week when we would be leaving to go back to school, I needed his help with shrinking some of the bookcases in the library wanting to bring all of the books to my quarters at Hogwarts.

I had yet to go into Severus' room. That had been a no enter zone since I had arrived back here two weeks ago. Everyone was slowly moving on and I felt that I had to as well. I would keep everything, most of his things were academic related and it's not like he had an access of clothing for me to sort through.

I push open my trunk removing some letters that I had gotten from Lisa Turpin over the summer my hands gripping one unopened envelope. The letter Severus left. With trembling hands I sit down on my childhood bed that had been enlarged as I grew, this bed had seen me through some hard times and I'm sure this letter was going to be as emotionally draining as I had thought.

I dig my nail into the wax seal and close my eyes briefly before taking a deep breath and unfolding the parchment.

Elizabeth,

I never expected to survive this second war as fate has never been particularly kind to me. The day you came in to my life was the day I learned to live, the day I was given a reason to continue on. Your mother was gone and at first I only cared for you because of her, that became a lie later on in life as I grew to love you. I grew to love something, someone else and I never thought that I could do that again.

I may never have said it enough but I am proud of the woman you have become. I am proud that I raised such a brave and intelligent being, and I am sorry that one day when you have children of your own I will not be there to see them. Or teach them how to torment you in the many ways you tormented me throughout the years.

You are my daughter Elizabeth, where it counts you were mine and I could never have asked for a better daughter. I am sorry that I have left you, I am sorry that I will miss the rest of the monuments in your life. Never give up in life and stay safe. Always keep me in your heart for I will always watch over you.

I do love you Elizabeth and my only regret is that I never said a proper goodbye. You just have left my office now and promised to see me at breakfast. I am deeply sorry you didn't. Please know that I went into that battle with the scene of a war free world in my mind, a war free world for you. I only ever wanted what was best for you, I only wanted you safe.

Love always, your father,

Severus

I wipe the tears from my eyes roughly, hugging the letter close to my chest. To think that he had started that night knowing he was going to die. I feel my mind reach back to our last moments together, the memory washing over me.

"Severus?" I ask making him look up from his papers, "You know I love you, right?"

He seems to freeze for a moment and I hear a few portraits cough, holding back smiles. "I do, I care deeply for you as well."

I let out a sob wanting nothing more then to get a Time-Turner and return to that night, not caring about the consequences one bit. I had lost my father, he wasn't my biological father but he was still my father no less. He was the one who wiped my tears when I fell as a child, bought me my first broom. He was my family for so long and now he wasn't here anymore and for the first time I think I was finally realizing that.

"Lizzie" Neville's voice calls from down the stairs and I quickly wipe at my eyes attempting to erase any traces of my break down.

"U-up here, love" I call shoving the letter under my pillow and walking into my closet keeping my back to the door. I smell him arrive before I hear him, the smell of fresh earth, a musty, spicy cologne and the slight hint of fertilizer hit my senses in a smell that was positively Neville.

"I shrank the bookcases in the library already when I came in, you may need to do another charm on them, just in case" he says approaching me from behind. I breath in deeply as his arms circle around my waist his head resting down on my shoulder for a moment as he presses a small kiss on my cheek in greeting.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine, just thinking about what I need to pack. Have you finished packing yet?" I question discreetly wiping a stray tear from my cheek.

Neville seems to stiffen for a moment before speaking quietly, still holding me close. "I'm deferring Sprouts offer…" he trails off making me freeze. Deferring? As in, when I left for Hogwarts next week he would not be coming with me?

"You're-"

"Becoming an Auror, like-"

"Your parents" I finish with a small sad smile. Neville gently turns me and frowns seeing the remains of my tears.

"I don't want that to mean that this is over, we can still see each other on weekends and holidays and-"

"I don't want it to be over either, I'm proud of you, really." I smile up at him, happy with his choice. I had seen the look on his face last week when Harry and Ron were over talking about what they were going to do this year. He wanted to teach Herbology I knew that, once it was offered he could talk about nothing else, but being an Auror, it was something else he wanted to do, something he needed to do now.

"You're okay with this then? I'll write as often as I can."

"I know you will," I smirk pushing him back until his legs hit the bed, "because if you don't you will be in a whole lot of trouble Auror Longbottom."

Neville gulps his throat bobbing as I push him onto the bed, sitting down beside him before throwing my legs over his, cuddling against him. I feel his arms circle around me once more as he pulls me closer onto his lap allowing me to lay my head onto his chest.

"You're awfully agreeable today" he points out as I hear a faint crinkling of parchment as he shifts slightly against the pillows. I wince slightly as I feel his one arm leave my waist as he digs under the pillow pulling out the letter.

I long minute goes by before Neville sighs pulling me close once more dropping the letting onto the pillow. "You didn't have to hide it, I could tell something was wrong."

I shrug as he presses a kiss to my forehead, another to my cheek and a chaste one to my lips. "He'll always be with you, Lizzie."

"I know, I just- it's still fresh you know. He was my..my Dad. He was always the one to protect me you know? No matter how much I didn't want him or need him to."

"Well I-I can protect you" Neville stutters. I smile sadly, thinking about how much things had changed since the Final Battle. Severus wasn't around now to make fun of my choice in boyfriends, though I doubt I would have appreciated it I longed to hear some biting remark.

Longbottom? Really Elizabeth if you needed companionship that bad I would have gotten you a cat, surly they are more intelligent.

I feel my smile widen at my own thoughts before snuggling into Neville's chest, "Thank you, Neville. I feel safer already".