Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Me (Bug) and my nephew (Scraps) do not own Avatar. James Cameron does. This is merely made to satisfy our sick and twisted little minds.

Also, if anything we put sounds familiar to anything else one has seen, it's purely coincidental. We came up with this solely on our own.

Quaritch woke up one morning feeling pretty good. The little brats had not given him trouble in days, and he felt he had finally gotten through to them. He got dressed in non tie dyed clothes, and set out to begin the day.

He was walking with his head held high, barely noticing the stares certain people were giving him. Looks of respect, he thought with pride. He made his way to Parker Selfridge's office to give the Junior Administrator some of his latest ideas on disposing the blue savages. Parker always listened to him.

"Now Selfridge . . ." He began his pitch. Parker, however, was having a hard time listening, and simply gaped at the sight in front of him. As soon as Quaritch finished, Grace came storming in.

"Parker, I cannot believe you would-" but she didn't have a chance to finish as soon as she saw Quaritch. She tried biting her lip to keep from laughing, but a giggle soon escaped her lips. A chuckle from Parker immediately followed and soon, he and Grace were on the floor in hysterical laughter. Quaritch felt his face grow red. How dare they not take him seriously?

"And what, may I ask, is so funny?" He snarled. Grace and Parker tried to answer, but their laughs made it impossible. Tears were now rolling down their cheeks. "Well?" Quaritch snarled.

"Uh-Quaritch . . . your hair?" Parker finally managed to say before collapsing again.

"What about my hair?" Quaritch demanded, reaching up to his head as if to see if his hair was still intact. Grace, who was trying to catch her breath, reached into her pocket and pulled out a compact mirror, and pushed it across the floor. Quaritch picked it up, opened it, and just about had a heart attack at what he saw. The masculine, blond color of his hair was gone, and in its place . . .

"ELECTRIC BLUE?" Quaritch roared dropping the mirror to the floor with a loud 'smack', knowing exactly who was to blame, "WHERE ARE THOSE LITTLE DEMON'S? I'LL KILL EM! I'LL SLAUGHTER EM! I'LL-"

"What's with all the yelling Ricky?" A slightly amused voice said behind him. He whirled around to see two adolescent children smiling innocently at him. It was Bug and Scraps.

"You! You did THIS!" He hissed, pointing to his now tarnished hair.

"You can't prove that. . ." Scraps began, "But I think it's safe to say . . ."

"It IS an improvement." Bug finished for her brother, adjusting her big black glasses. Quaritch's eye began to twitch again.

"You are sick." He seethed. He turned to give a deathly glare to Grace and Parker, who were now trying hard to compose themselves.

"We're sick?" Bug began, "Ricky, we're not the ones with hair,"

"The color of a wannabe Na'vi." Scraps finished.

"THAT'S IT!" Quaritch snapped, throwing his hands up in the air. "I'm going to fix this-this EYESORE!" He looked directly at the four in the room. "None of you are to breathe a word of this to ANYONE! Understood?" They nodded, and Bug and Scraps were smirking. Quaritch stormed outside, too angry to notice Max, Trudy, Jake, and Norm taking pictures on their cameras and sending the pictures to the company server.

!#%&$*!

We may not take nets and run around chasing woodsprite while screaming "JELLYFISHING".

We may not 'borrow' Eytukan's bow for any purpose.

We may not steal some poisoned arrows and use them to play darts.

We may not inform Neytiri of Earthling animal testing as it is just cruel.

We may not take Seze out for a joyride.

It is very mean to remind Tsu'tey that Neytiri likes Jake and not him. We may not do so again.

We may not fake a letter from Nabisco representatives and ask the Omaticaya if they can build a Keebler bakery inside Hometree.

We may not provoke any of the viperwolves. If we do and they chase us, it's our problem and we're on our own.

We may not pull Na'vi tails.

We may not pull Na'vi braids.

We may not film a mating ritual.

We may not connect our Na'vi braids to the Tree of Voices and exclaim: 'The voices! They're back'.

'What am I supposed to do, dance with it?" was a rhetorical statement made by Jake Sully regarding the hammerhead titanotheres. He does not need us to actually get some salsa music and help him dance with it.

'Because Eywa told us to' is not an appropriate excuse for any of our tricks

We may not attempt to torment Seze with a red cape to reenact a bull fight.

AND FOR EYWA'S SAKE, DO NOT MAKE QUARITCH'S HAIR ELECTRIC BLUE EVER AGAIN!

!#%&$*!

"I GIVE YOU TWO A SIMPLE LIST AND WHAT DID YOU DO?" Quaritch screamed throwing his hands in the air. Jake was behind the terrible twins, glaring, and in the distance, a few of the Omaticaya could be seen trembling in fear.

"Posed as Nabisco representatives asking to build a Keebler bakery inside Hometree?" Bug offered, brushing a strand of her bright red hair away.

"Took a bunch of pictures of a mating ritual to turn it into a flip book?" Scraps said.

"YES!" Quaritch shrieked, his eyes twitching again. "Those were things you WEREN'T ALLOWED TO DO!"

"Ricky," Scraps began, pulling out his list and clearing his throat. "You said we couldn't write a fake letter regarding building a bakery in Hometree, but we went ourselves and asked."

"And you said we couldn't actually film a mating ritual," Bug cut in as she leaned over to look at the list, "And we took pictures to make a flip book. A flip book, Ricky!" Quaritch's hand made contact with his face, and a headache suddenly kicked in.

"Why?" He moaned, "Why must you torture me like this?" The twins shrugged.

"Because we don't like you." They responded in unison.

"What are you smirking at, Sully?" Quaritch suddenly snapped, looking in the direction of Jake, whose face was in a grin.

"Nothing, sir. It's just . . . weren't you going to use that stuff to change back your hair color?" Bug and Scraps looked at each other. Grace, after she had finally stopped laughing at Quaritch's electric blue hair, had forced the twins to find something to change the color back. So they came to Quaritch with a plastic bottle that was supposed to remove hair dye. What they had failed to mention, however, was that there was a sticker on the bottle beforehand that somehow managed to fall off, with words mentioning the color pink.

"I did use that stuff-Oh no." Quaritch said, fishing out Grace's mirror to see his hair was now the color of Pepto-Bismol.

A loud, blood curdling scream escaped Quaritch as he dropped the mirror once more, gave a death glare at the twins, and ran off. . . .

. . . . . Right in the middle Hell's Kitchen.

. . . . . . During Dinner Hour.

!#%&$*!

"That was AWESOME, Scraps!" Bug exclaimed while she tugged at the handcuffs that had been placed on her between the railing.

"You're the one who removed the sticker. You did great too." Scraps replied through the cell he was put into, banging on the clear wall. "By the way, any progress on getting out of those handcuffs?"

"Nope."

!#%&$*!

And there it is. I know the list isn't as long, but the next one will be longer. Thanks to Zootsutstra, Random the Na'vi, and Gyre and Bigoldfrog for reviewing, and for the ideas. I know not all of them are on this chapter, but they will definitely be in the next one. Thanks again. Oh, and I have a poll on my profile asking which character should join in on Bug and Scraps's pranks later in the story. The choices are: Trudy, Jake, Norm, or Max. Vote and maybe that character will be our next partner in crime! I'll post the third chapter as soon as I can.