Well thanks to Rice-san, I actually decided to keep this going insted of it being a one-shot!
Remember that this is all satire, even though this chapter isn't really that funny...
Enjoy anyway!
Confusion
Abe couldn't figure out why, but for some reason it seemed that Mihashi was acting a little bit strange. Though considering his normal behavior… well, it stranger than normal at least.
For example when he saw his pitcher at the usual time before morning practice…
"Hey Mihashi," he nodded.
Mihashi jumped ten feet out of his skin, "A-A-Abe-kun! I didn't… there… um… hi!"
Abe frowned, "Are you okay man?"
He reached out his hand to check Mihashi's temperature, but the pitcher half screamed as if he were about to be raped.
"N-n-no I mean yes, I mean… bye!"
And Mihashi took off running. At first Abe wondered what he could have done to scared his friend.
Did he growl? No, he had actually spoken softly, so that couldn't be it.
Did he scowl too hard? No, he had his usual blasé look that was close to a frown, but wasn't. That definitely couldn't be it either.
Wait what if someone else had said something? What if one of his d-bag old teammates had gotten to him somehow and made him feel like he was nothing again?
That was fairly likely. Abe couldn't believe that the apology from the practice game was real, it seemed too… rehearsed.
Abe quickly pulled out his phone and dialed a number that he never thought he would have to call.
"StarFix?" he grunted into the receiver instead of the usual hello.
"Abominable curses abound! Abe is that you?" the writer answered.
He was surprised; everyone knew how much Abe hated the writer. In fact StarFix braced himself to be subjected to some kind of verbal lashing.
"I need a phone number." Abe sighed.
"Huh? Don't you want to yell at me for some obscure reason?" StarFix gasped.
The writer could hear silence on the other end and his curiosity began to rise. It wasn't every day that people who hated him called for help.
"It's just that there's a problem…"
"Does it have anything to do with the events of yesterday?" StarFix interrupted.
"Hell no, I just need to call Kanou," Abe replied, cringing at the idea of what had happened 'yesterday'.
He, Tajima, and Hanai had accidentally stumbled upon the mature fic section of and read all twelve of the smuttiest lemons about themselves in creations. By time they were finished Tajima called StarFix for help and the only solution he could offer was to make them forget.
They chose to remember.
"Calling Kanou," StarFix murmured sarcastically. "There nothing suspicious about that."
Before Abe could protest and tell the real reason the writer rattled off the phone number and hung up.
Abe quickly dialed the number without regard for the one he was calling's sleep habits. He needed answers and he needed them now dammit!
"Hello?" a groggy voice answered. Even half asleep he still sounded like the same moderately arrogant Shugo Kanou.
"Kanou?" Abe growled.
He was no longer interested in answers, he was out for blood. Anyone who messed with Mihashi deserved death by his hands, and if he could figure out to jump through the phone he would be laying some sweet justice on the bastard.
"Who is this and why are you calling me?" Kanou murmured.
Even half asleep he was moderately arrogant enough to be ready to kick a dude in the balls for no real reason.
"This is Takaya Abe and I need you to get your team to stop bullying Mihashi!" Abe shouted. The quiet of the field in and of itself boosted the loudness overall. It was a miracle that Mihashi (or anyone else for that matter) hadn't heard him.
"Whoa, calm down man," Kanou shot back. "You mean Ren-Ren? We haven't been bullying him I thought you were!"
"What do you mean by that?" Abe demanded. He wasn't ready to have his whole rage turned back on him, and in fact it could have been a trick.
"I called to check in on him yesterday and he was scared to talk to me," Kanou began. "He kept murmuring 'abe-kun, Tajima-kun, Hanai-san'. When I tried to get him to say more he hung up on me!"
"But we haven't been bullying him!" Abe insisted, wondering why Hanai was 'Hanai-san'.
"No one here has been either, so maybe it's something a little closer to home anyways," Kanou sighed as he hung up the phone.
***
Later that day at break Abe decided to deliver his observations to Tajima and Hanai. According to what he saw at practice Mihashi wasn't just oddly afraid of only him, but everyone (Shino'oka included, but Momoe excluded).
"Yeah, I asked him if he was 'off schedule'," Tajima sighed making an obvious innuendo. "and he actually ran away from me!"
"Any normal person would have run from you," Hanai sighed.
He had hoped that some of the perversion constantly on Tajima's mind would cease after the adventure they had the previous day.
"But this is Mihashi we're talking about!" Abe exclaimed.
"Yeah, normally he would have just blushed and called abe or Sakaeguchi," Tajima added, silently wondering what he could have done to scare Mihashi.
Normally all of his antics just rolled of the pitcher's shoulders, but obviously something was deeper than all that.
"But you know what's really weird?" Hanai asked.
"What's really weird?" the other two replied.
"That when I said hi to him this morning he started talking about fics," Hanai whispered.
The other two didn't have to say anything, they knew exactly what he meant and they all knew how bad it would be if Mihashi had read them too.
"Well, what do we do?" Tajima whispered.
All of his exuberance evaporated. No matter how perverted he was he thought that Mihashi needed to stay the innocent one for the most part, and those fics could damage his psyche.
"What the hell do you think we need to do?" Abe huffed. "We need erase his memory of it all!"
"Actually we should find out if he read them at all," Hanai suggested, shaking his head. "I mean what if it's a normal problem?"
"Normal problem or not, how can we find out if he's too scared to talk to anyone?" Abe groaned.
Silence fell over the trio.
"Wait, I know just who to get him to talk!" Tajima exclaimed thrusting his phone in the air.
Abe just put his head in his hands; there was way too much StarFix in his life lately.
***
StarFix arrived once more at Nishiura High School with Naminé. This time, however, he had the memory witch hide.
"Okay, so where is our boy?" StarFix asked.
"Tajima has him cornered in an empty classroom," Hanai said, then wondered if that was the smartest plan that he had ever made.
"Just get me to him,"
So the group made their way through the halls with haste. When they reached the classroom Mihashi was hiding under a desk from Tajima.
"F-fix-kun, help me!" he sobbed.
StarFix crouched down to look eye to eye with Mihashi, "Why do you need me to help you, your friends are really worried."
"But they're mad at me!" he shouted.
"huh?"
"I w-went on last night to see if you updated Colossu-rella (A/N: A single chapter fic, but for this it has 24 and is incredibly funny) but then I went to our section…" Mihashi began.
"Then what happened?"
"I saw… something called Citrus Galore and opened it…"
Abe, Tajima, and Hanai all remembered that one. In it almost every member of the Nishiura baseball team and Mihashi has a…naught escapade of sorts. Even worse it was all one chapter.
"Ren-kun, it's fine to feel weird that your fan-girls wrote that-" StarFix began.
"But if I weren't so me they wouldn't have written those fics with you guys doing those things to me…" he whispered.
…
"WHAT?" everyone exclaimed.
"It, it's my fault?" Mihashi whimpered.
"Yeah, no it's not," StarFix assured him. "Those fans wrote all that because they want to write out their fantasy pairings doing…the nasty with each other gratuitously."
"Wha?"
"Gratuitously means given without payment or obligation," Hanai explained.
"Yeah, that…" StarFix murmured. "But if you want, I can help you get someone to erase you memory…"
"Y-yes please," Mihashi nodded.
StarFix guided him out of the room leaving the three alone.
"Quick question guys," Abe asked. "Didn't we have to actually turn on the mature settings to find the lemons?"
"Yeah…" Tajima said catching on. "Oh my gosh Mihashi's a pervert!"
"Or someone deliberately published an M fic and put it on with the other ones." Hanai suggested.
Ooh a cliffhanger. whatever will happen next?
Review!