Waxen Walls
Beep
Beep, beep.
Beep, beep, beep, beep.
He groaned. Everything felt like it was pulsing. With every push of compressed air he felt a sore sting of an old ache, and with every release he felt bliss.
"W-where?" His voice sounded scratchy and old as if it hadn't been used in a long time. A slow rhythmic beeping sound came from a monitor beside him. An oxygen mask had been placed over his mouth, creating a push and pull of air through his lungs.
A hospital? He remembered falling, and a crack. He must be dead, he mused. How ironic he was in a hospital then. Perhaps the afterlife was a cruel and unforgiving place after all. Maybe he was in hell. Well… He didn't imagine hell being this sterile that's for sure. He wondered if any on was going to come in, so while he waited, he stared at the waxen walls of his small room. One chair, he counted, no flowers, no cards, balloons, nothing to show anyone cared. They say you die alone, so maybe you spend the afterlife alone as well. But there had to be someone here. He strained to hear, if anyone was in the hall but to no avail. It must be hell then. Was dying the right choice? Would he had been happier alive? He wondered where his brother was. His heart wrenched in pain. No of course his brother wouldn't be in hell, his brother was strong, and proud, much nobler than anyone he knew. His brother had given him the greatest sacrifice anyone ever could give, and he let it go to waste.
A tear drop rolled down his cheek and he tried to wipe it away. But then again, who would see him cry in hell?
No one.
He wasn't in agonizing pain like he was when he died, and that added to the assurance that he truly was dead, until.
"Good morning Mathew Kirkland, and how are you feeling today? I've just come in to do a couple of tests. Are you well enough to speak Mathew? You don't mind if I call you Mathew right?" She smiled brightly and moved about the room collecting needles and pricking him every so often, making a cheery humming sound at the end of every procedure. He just lay in complete shock.
But!
I!
No!
His eyes welled up in tears as she left with a clipboard full of test results, closing the door quietly behind her.
"N-No!" He whimpered.
I've failed.
How! How had he survived! He was so sure!
So very… Sure...
The cat must have...
He accidentally saved his life because he saved that cat, that stupid cat! His sobs turned to laughter then back to wailing in a single moment. It hurt! His chest hurt, his heart, even his head hurt with the wracking tears that tormented his soul. He stopped abruptly, staring at the monitor. It was plugged in to a small port just close enough for him to reach. Big mistake, he chortled. He was still right; there was no indication of people being here before hand, nobody cared. He was so right it cut him, to the core. He just wanted the pain to stop! He wanted the world to stop! He wanted to stop his very own heart! He lunged for the plug and pulled.
The monitor went silent, and the world started to fade again.
He could almost smile.
Almost.
Nurses and doctors burst into the room accompanied by a very annoyed looking man around his age.
"For god's sake! For five fucking minutes could you just not try to die!" The man roared.
He went silent as the rest of the world faded away.
Perhaps.
That was the first time I really met you.