Chapter Two
FOURTEEN MONTHS LATER
"Abel, please stop," Tara begged as she tried desperately to get her rambunctious toddler to be still long enough for her to get his pants, shoes, and socks on. "We're running late and your Grandma will be here in a few minutes."
"See Daddy?"
As her eldest son smiled up at her, clearly excited about seeing his father, Tara promised, "Yep, Buddy, Grandma is going to take you to the clubhouse to see your Daddy, but only if you let me get you dressed."
When Abel settled down enough for her to finish dressing him, Tara quickly got him ready, knowing he would be up and about in only a few moments. She still had Thomas to see to, and she was running so late. Gemma was going to be here in ten minutes and Tara desperately wanted the boys to be ready to go by then. She didn't want to give Gemma any time to badger her into going to the clubhouse again. She had no intention of seeing Jax today. None at all.
In fact she hadn't seen Jax in person since the day she caught him with Ima. Remarkably, when she'd been released from the hospital after the attack from Hector she had managed to avoid Jax entirely until he'd gone to prison. That first morning she'd been incredibly lucky to go by the clubhouse to see Abel when all of Samcro had been out doing whatever it was they'd needed to do in order to only get 14 months instead of the years they should have served for attacking the church. After that it had been even easier to avoid him by staying at the apartment of one of the nurses she knew at work. Of course that didn't mean Jax hadn't done all he could to get in touch with her. He'd literally called her cell over 100 times in three days time, and sent her just as many text messages. Not to mention he'd had every croweater, hangaround, and prospect in Charming looking for her as well, but she'd stayed well out of sight.
It had been hard staying away from Abel for those days, but she knew she'd needed to keep out of sight so Jax couldn't get a chance to crack her resolve against him. She'd thought about staying at Margaret's, and the older woman had offered, but Tara had known Jax would easily track her there. And he had indeed swung by Margaret's house several times demanding to see Tara before he'd been locked up, but he simply hadn't had the time to find her.
A few days after getting back from Belfast Jax had been escorted to prison along with the rest of the club members and Tara had been able to come out of hiding. By avoiding him she'd bought herself the time and distance it would take to build up the walls and defenses she would need against Jax. She'd bought herself the time and distance she'd need to ensure that she wouldn't succumb to the only man she'd ever loved now that he was out and would force her to see him.
The last fourteen months had been hard for Tara, building a life that wouldn't include Jax, but she'd done it, and much of that had to do with the inheritance her great aunt had left her. When Tara had left Charming over a decade ago to move in with her great aunt in San Diego she had never managed to build much of a relationship with the woman. In fact when she'd first reached out to her father's aunt and asked if she could come stay with her to cut back on her college expenses she hadn't expected to hear back from her at all. She'd never actually met her, never even spoken to her, she'd only known she existed in an abject sort of way. She'd only known that Aunt Patty was her father's mother's sister, and there had been a huge falling out between him and her many years ago, but she'd been desperate to get out of Charming and needed all the help she could get. So she had reached out, not expecting much, and been surprised when the woman called her up a few weeks after she'd sent her request by mail. Her aunt Patty had grilled her about what she was going to do at school, if she was an alcoholic like her dead beat father, and so on. When Tara assured her that she was a hard working student and determined to go to medical school her aunt she'd never met had agreed to let her come as long as she promised not to get in the way. She'd made sure Tara understood she wasn't allowed to come and go at all hours of the night, and she wasn't allowed to invite people over. Aunt Patty liked her peace and quiet and she wasn't going to give it up. And she made certain Tara understood she'd have clean up after herself. The only thing she was willing to provide was a roof over her head and the food in the fridge, and if Tara didn't like what food there was that was too bad. And if Tara gave her any trouble at all she was out. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Tara hadn't minded. She'd been so involved with her studies she really hadn't had time for a social life, so she'd adapted to her aunt's way of doing things rather easily. Her aunt had lived in a Spanish style home in San Diego that the woman had bought nearly 50 years before. The place was run down, and her aunt's furniture and home had seemed shabby at best. The entire time she'd lived with her Aunt Patty she'd had maybe a handful of conversations with the woman. Nothing more. It had been more like they were roommates. Roomates that didn't talk, and barely saw each other enough to say hello. The woman was an odd ball for sure. She spent most of her time in her garden tending to her plants, and yelling at her neighbors for whatever they'd done that day to upset her. She never said much to Tara other than to remind her not to get in the way or run up her light bill. So when Tara graduated school and was moving to Chicago for her internship, her aunt had done little more than toss a wave over her shoulder as Tara pulled out with her Uhaul with what possessions she'd managed to accumulate while in college. She hadn't even spoken to her aunt since then.
So Tara hadn't been able to contain her shock when at eight months pregnant with Thomas an estate lawyer had come knocking on her door to let her know that her Aunt Patty had passed on and left her everything in her will. Not only that, but that her Aunt Patty had also apparently been a secret millionaire. All told after selling off her Aunt's house, which while run down and in need of repairs was prime real estate because of it's location, Tara had inherited upwards of 7.2 million dollars.
She'd walked around in a daze the first week after getting the money. The only explanation she'd received was a short note from her Aunt Patty given to her by the estate lawyer saying simply, "Try to do more with it than I ever did." And that was it. Nothing else. At first Tara hadn't known what to do with the money, but she'd quickly come up with a plan.
First, she'd put a million into two separate trust funds for Abel and Thomas. As long as the economy didn't crash the savings and investments in the trusts should ensure that both her boys would get upwards of two million each on their 25th birthdays. After that she'd put two million into her IRA so she'd never have to worry about things in her old age. She'd then put another million into an investment portfolio. From there she'd bought this house. It had been in horrible shape when she'd first found it, but after a few hundred thousand in renovations she was now the proud owner of a beautiful two story farm house situated on a little over ten acres right on the outskirts of Charming. It was all she'd ever dreamed about. She'd gone all out on her new home as well.
She'd fenced off her property with beautiful white wood, had a gorgeous koi pond put in, and had a small stable added for the four horses she'd purchased. She'd always loved horses, and had taken riding lessons when she was younger all the way through high school, but she'd hadn't ridden since she left Charming. She'd been far to busy for it and hadn't had the money to do so. With her Aunt's inheritance she'd finally able to get a horse of her own. In fact she'd bought four. She loved sitting on the porch in the mornings sipping her coffee before her day officially started and watching them run around. Of course she hadn't been able to go riding while pregnant, but when she'd been cleared by her doctor after Thomas's birth she'd hired an instructor to come give her a refresher course. She took riding lessons at least three times a week, and she was looking forward to teaching Abel soon. She'd even started doing a little shopping for a pony for him, but as she thought he was still too young she wasn't doing it seriously.
In addition to getting her dream house built she had approached Margaret and the board at St. Thomas with an offer. She was willing to take a huge pay cut, making a paltry $4000 a year, if they agreed to cut her work week down to four days a week, and would give her an hour and a half lunch break each day. By doing this she was able to keep her full coverage health insurance, including dental for herself and her sons, and she would be able to bring the boys with her to work each day. With her long lunch break she would be able to spend that time with them as well. It would allow her to continue as a neonatal surgeon, and be the kind of mother she wanted to be. With the money she had in her savings account, and her investment portfolio, not to mention her IRA, she didn't need the paycheck from St. Thomas. As expected the board jumped at the offer. Not having to pay her the $140,000 a year a surgeon of her caliber required gave them the opportunity to hire three more nurses and take on an additional intern. Which the hospital had desperately needed.
In addition to all the financial moves she had made while Jax was gone, Tara had also taken some pretty significant leaps in her personal life as well. When pregnant with Thomas she had spent a good deal of time thinking about how often her life had been in danger since she'd come back to Charming. She'd thought about how helpless Josh and Hector had both made her feel, and she was determined to never feel like that again. So while pregnant she'd begun researching different martial arts and settled on Krav Maga. She'd found a great nearby instructor who agreed to come give her private lessons five times a week in the morning before she went to work after she gave birth to Thomas. So for the past six months she'd been taking Krav Maga steadily enough that she was already a brown belt. Her instructor had told her she was doing so well, that her dedication was such, that it was time for her to add another martial art to her training regimen, and she was giving some consideration to adding Muay Thai. She loved the way her training made her feel. Powerful. In control. Strong.
And along with her physical training she'd also done her best to build up a healthy social life. She knew she would need something to keep her occupied when Jax got out. She couldn't give herself time to think about him, to dream about what it would be like to live a life with him. So as Abel and Thomas spent Tuesday and Thursday nights with Gemma, Tara had invited Margaret and a few of the nurses at work to joining her in a cooking class twice a week. So Tara had truly been doing her best to build a life for herself that didn't include Jax.
Of course Tara had kept her inheritance a secret. When Gemma had asked her how she'd afforded the new house and the repairs for it, Tara had simply said she'd gotten a great deal on the sale of her father's house, and she'd had enough in savings to make a big down payment. Gemma had seemed to buy it, and since her pay cut at work was private information Tara knew Jax's mom had no idea of just how much money she now had. And Tara meant to keep it that way. Tara had seen the way Samcro had sucked the money right out of Luanne's business, and she wasn't about to let that happen to her. Her aunt's inheritance had ensured she and her children would never need to worry, and Tara meant to keep it that way.
So Tara had done her best to keep herself busy. So busy that she wouldn't have time to think about Jax or think about the fact they would never have a life together. In fact the only time she allowed herself to think about Jax was when she had her lawyer send her initial custody offer to him. Jax had refused to sign it, and instead sent a note back to her saying there was no way he would discuss custody through a lawyer. He would only talk to her face to face. When Tara refused to go see him Jax had actually surprised her by sending a second note saying he could understand she was upset and couldn't see him yet, though he'd made it clear he wasn't going to give her up, but he refused to sign a custody agreement. He wouldn't give up on them or their future by doing so his note had said. He instead offered to let her adopt Abel. He'd written that he knew she must be afraid he would take Abel away from her, and Jax had wanted to assure her that no matter what happened between them, she was the only mother he wanted Abel to know.
Tara had been truly touched by his words, and part of her had wanted to go to Stockton to thank him in person, but she had refrained. Instead she'd sent him a simple note back telling him, "Thank you." Since then Jax had written her nearly every day, but she never responded. She couldn't. She needed to quit Jax cold turkey or risk falling back into his arms again. So she'd kept her distance. She'd returned his letters unopened, and refused his calls when he reached out to her from Stockton.
But the time for avoiding Jax was over. He and the others would be getting out today, and Tara knew Jax would come for her. And she hoped she was ready for him. She hoped she would have the strength to keep him at a distance when he was literally right before her, when he was staring straight into her eyes and giving her that look that always melted her heart.
'I have to have the strength. I have to be strong for my boys. I can't let Jax or his world destroy me,' Tara thought to herself as she finished dressing Thomas and went to grab his diaper bag. She still didn't know how she was going to keep her boys from getting sucked into Samcro, but she had a some years to figure it out. For now she needed to focus on the battles at hand. The battle to keep herself away from Jax and to keep him away from her. She knew it wouldn't be easy. There was no way Jax would let her go easily.
Hearing a knock at the door a moment before Gemma came strolling in, Tara greeted, "Hi Gem."
"Hi baby," Gemma greeted before swopping up Abel and adding, "and how's my big boy!"
"Hi Grandma!"
Abel squealed as Gemma showered his face with kisses before asking, "We go see Daddy now?"
"Yes, baby, we're going to go see your Daddy," Gemma replied as she shifted Abel to her hip and watched Tara rushing around to gather up the last few things she felt Jax would need to keep Thomas and Abel for the night. After the wedding Tara was going to let Jax take the boys home with him. He needed to spend some time with them and get used to being a father again. While Tara couldn't allow herself to be with Jax, that didn't mean she didn't want him to be a father to their boys.
"Tara, honey, are you sure you don't—"
"No, Gemma. I've told you a dozen times I'm not going."
"You can't avoid him forever. Jax isn't going to rest until he sees you."
"I'll see him tonight. I'm the maid of honor if you remember."
Looking at the woman she had such a difficult and complicated relationship with, but loved like a daughter now, Gemma pleaded, "Tara, please just see him. I know he fucked up. He knows he fucked up. We all know he fucked up, but he can't make things right if you won't speak to him."
Strapping Thomas into his carrier, Tara avoided looking at Gemma as she said, "I don't want him to fix anything, Gemma, because there is nothing to fix. Jax and I are done."
Rolling her eyes, Gemma denied, "You two will never be done. If a decade apart and my supreme endeavors to break you two up when you were kids and when you first got back didn't keep you apart, then I seriously doubt one drunken night with a porn star will."
Rage filling her at the way Gemma was brushing off Jax's betrayal Tara stood up from her bent over position in front of Thomas's carrier, and hissed, "It's not that simple, Gemma! And don't act like what he did to me was some small thing to get over!"
Seeing how upset Tara was getting, Gemma quickly backpedaled, "Tara, I'm not excusing what the did. I'm mad as hell for how he treated you, but you know why he did it."
"His reasons for hurting and betraying me, for abandoning me, aren't important. And even if they were, what has changed between now and then, Gemma? Hmm? If Jax felt the need to break my heart in front of everyone in order to keep me safe, then why the change of heart? Is Samcro suddenly in a world filled with fluffy bunnies and rainbows? Or do you still do business with illegal arms dealers, gangs, and outlaw motorcycle clubs?"
When Gemma had nothing to say, Tara said with a note of finality in her voice, "What was between me and Jax is over. I'm glad it happened. It gave us Thomas, but it's over. All any of us can do now is find a way to get along. I'm doing my best."
Searching the younger woman's eyes, Gemma saw her resolve there, but couldn't help thinking, 'Let's see how firm her stance is when Jax is standing right in front of her. She loves him just as much as he loves her. She won't be able to stay away from him. At least not for long.'
While Gemma had originally wanted Tara gone, things had definitely changed. Tara had been there for her at her lowest point. Been there for her, kept her secret, lent her strength when she needed it, and done her best to be supportive. By doing so Tara had definitely earned herself a place in Gemma's heart, but Jax was her son. Her baby, and now that Gemma was also keen on having Tara part of the family, that meant she was determined to do all she could to help her son win back the girl he'd loved since he was 16.
Still, Gemma knew when it was time to back down and regroup, and now was one of those times. She could tell that Tara was too wound up, too nervous about her upcoming inevitable meeting with Jax to be reasoned with. So with that in mind Gemma began carrying Abel out of the house as Tara followed with Thomas. Once she was situated in the car with Abel and Thomas safely strapped in back, she looked at Tara standing next to her Escalade and said, "Don't be late tonight. Lyla and I will need you on the reservation for hair and makeup at 5:30."
"I'll be there," Tara promised.
With a final nod Gemma headed her SUV down Tara's long driveway. Tara watched her go before she headed back inside. She needed to get out of her house now. She knew Jax would come for her as soon as he came back, and she didn't plan on being here. It was bad enough she would have to see him tonight, she didn't need to see him now. Tara knew as much as Jax wanted to speak to her he wouldn't ruin Opie and Lyla's wedding. He'd probably spend the whole night starring at her, willing her without words to speak to him, and it would certainly be uncomfortable, but she was determined to put off their talk for as long as possible. With that in mind she locked up her house and headed out to the gym she'd joined. A few hours of lifting weights would take her mind off Jax. Hopefully.
…
…
…
Back in Charming Jax pulled into the clubhouse lot. After turning off his bike and taking off his helmet he immediately headed towards his mom who was holding Thomas while Abel stood at her feet. His eyes scanned the crowd looking for Tara. He doubted she would be here, but he still hoped. Not seeing her he moved to his Mom and immediately swept his oldest son in his arms to swing him around.
Keeping Abel close before kissing the top of Thomas's head where his mom held him, Jax finally looked at her and asked, "She refused to come?"
"I'm sorry baby, but you know how stubborn she is," Gemma soothed. She'd wanted his homecoming to be perfect, and without Tara it was anything but.
"It's not your fault. I knew she wouldn't come, but I'm done letting her ignore me."
Smiling at her son's determined gaze, and knowing that he wouldn't rest until Tara was back by his side, Gemma warned, "Just think things through, Jax. You'll only get one chance to fix this. You fuck it up and I"ll beat the shit out of you."
Arching a brow, Jax teased, "And when did you become so determined to have Tara as a daughter in law?"
"After that night."
When Jax's expression changed from teasing to sad and angry at the reminder of how she had been hurt by Zoebelle and his skinhead goons, Gemma explained, "Despite all the awful shit I ever said or did to Tara when I called her that night she came. She came, she patched me up, and she kept my secret. She did her best to help me, and she was there for our family in a way none of us deserved."
Glaring up at her son, Gemma added, "So she's not the only one pissed at how you treated her."
"Ma, I didn't—"
"I don't want to hear it, Jax. I know why you did it, but that doesn't make it right or ok. You hurt her. You hurt her badly, and she has every right to be this pissed at you, and while I want you two to patch things up, that doesn't mean I don't believe you deserve every bit of agony Tara is putting you through right now."
Strangely Jax found himself comforted by his mother's words. It made him glad that his mother and Tara had become so close. The animosity between them had been one of his greatest obstacles in being happy with Tara, and now that his mom was putting her mind to keeping them together instead of breaking them apart it was going to make things so much easier for him.
He spent the next half hour enjoying having his boys back in his arms. He held Thomas and played with Abel a bit before cornering his mom and asking, "Do you know where she is?"
"Home. Still hiding from you."
"Of course she is," Jax muttered. Tara had refused to have anything to do with him since he got back from Belfast, and it was killing him. He knew this was all his fault, but he was determined to make it right. Of course he couldn't do that unless he could fucking talk to her!
Before Jax could say anything else, Clay came up beside him and said, "Time to go son. We have our meet with the Russians. We'll have church and then head out. Need to get this shit done before the wedding tonight."
Jax wasn't about to do that. Shaking his head, he denied, "I can't, Clay. I need to go talk to Tara first."
"Jax, we—"
"Clay, I'm not asking. I'm telling. I'm going over to Tara's place to talk to her. You don't need me for this meeting. My part comes tonight. Take Opie. You guys can fill me in later tonight."
"Jax," Clay began, "I get you need to fix shit with Tara, but club business comes first."
Gemma, seeing the fight that was about to take place, stepped between them and whispered to Clay, "Baby, he needs this. Let him go. You guys can fill him in later."
Clay looked into his wife's eyes, and at the plea he saw in them, he finally relented. Turning to Jax he said, "Fine. Go, but don't be late tonight. I know fixing things with Tara is important, but the shit we have going down tonight is important too."
"I won't be late," Jax promised as he leaned down to kiss Abel goodbye before kissing Thomas's cheek. With a wave to his mom and stepfather he mounted his bike and headed towards the new house Tara had apparently bought. His mother had told him all about it on her visits to him in Stockton. Jax was anxious to see it. From the way his mother had described it there was no way Tara should have been able to afford it. Even with her generous salary at the hospital and with the sale of her father's house.
Charming being the small place it was it didn't take him long to reach her house. Making his way down her drive Jax marveled at the horses he saw running through the pasture on Tara's land, and he openly gaped at the beautiful white farm house with blue trim nestled between some trees. The house was just as gorgeous as his mother had described, and Jax was even more determined to find out how Tara could afford this. He wasn't surprised by the horses. He knew how much Tara had always loved them. He'd even gone ridding with her a time or two when they were younger.
Parking his bike he made his way up the front steps and banged on the door, "Tara! Tara, open the fucking door!"
When no response came Jax began looking in windows as he made his way around the wrap around porch the house had. It didn't take him long to conclude that Tara wasn't here. She'd run from him again.
"Fuck," he growled before pulling out his phone and dialing Tara's number. He wasn't surprised when it went to voicemail. She had been ignoring his calls since he got back from Belfast, but he was done putting up with it.
"Tara, this shit isn't going to fly anymore. I'm not in prison, and you can't run anymore. You and I are going to talk. Face to face. If I have to chase you to fucking China to do so I will. Stop running from me, babe, or I swear I will hunt you down, tie you up, and lock you in my fucking bedroom until I get you to see reason!"
Ending the call Jax headed for his bike. Having no clue where Tara was he wasn't keen on wasting time trying to find her. He'd try and catch up with Clay and Opie. He knew where Tara would be tonight. She was Lyla's maid of honor so there was no way she could hide from him come this evening when the wedding took place. He knew she hoped that he wouldn't make a scene at Opie's wedding, but that wasn't going to happen. He'd spoken to Opie earlier, letting him know that things might get heated between him and Tara at the wedding, and his brother had just laughed and said he and Lyla were looking forward to it, that they had a running bet going. Opie was certain that Tara was going to kick him in the balls before the night was over, and Lyla was just as certain that Tara would break the second she saw him and kiss him. And apparently they weren't the only ones. Most of the club members, old ladies, crow eaters, and hangarounds had put money down on how the long awaited reunion between them was going to go.
Jax hadn't said it, but he was pretty sure Tara was going to kick him in the balls as well. Especially when he made it perfectly fucking clear to her that there was no fucking way in hell he was letting her leave him. No fucking way. He didn't know how he was going to get her take him back, how to get her to forgive him, but he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wasn't leaving. He wouldn't allow it. If Tara wanted to play hardball so fucking be it. He'd show her just how determined he was to have her back at his side, back in his home, back in his arms, and back in his bed. Right where she fucking belonged. Where she had always belonged.
Making his way down Tara's long drive, Jax thought, 'Tara is mine, and it's time to remind her of that fact.'