A/N: Due to the fact that I keep confusing myself AND since we're only in chapter two… x) I find it easier to just keep John's name John. I will replace chapter one so that it's all edited.

Furthermore, I have set up a blog on blogger that I'll also be posting the story on, but the blog will be more interactive, as I'll post banners, videos, and play lists related to the story as I make them. I also intend to post other SLOTAT stories I write as I get to them (Currently I'm only working on 2.) I will keep posting here, but I hope that some you at least check out the blog. You'll be able to see the banner and the video already made surrounding the story. I'm working on the play list for it. The blog name is Repeating Echoes. The link name is silentechoeschasing.

That would be followed with blogspot. com

Hope you check out !

Chapter 2

Surviving, 101

Ricky managed to somehow hobble down the stairs on one leg and grab a bottle of water from the fridge before settling on the floor against the counter. It was after 3 AM, but everyone had fallen asleep hours ago, and it didn't take long for the pain medication to wear off. He'd managed to sleep through the fading of the medication, but once it was completely worn off, he was wide awake.

Ricky's head shot up as he heard creaking on the stairs, and then he saw a reflection in a flashlight light. The scaled reflection gave away that I was George and that one fact ensured him he was probably in trouble just for being out of bed. He exhaled heavily, taking another drink from his water bottle as George came around the side of the island and flashed the flashlight on him.

"How in the world did you manage to get down here on your own," George spoke clearly, wide awake.

Ricky shrugged as best he could, setting his water bottle on the floor. "I hopped. The meds wore off and I can't sleep. Whoever thought they could manage my pain with Vicodin was nuts. I only slept for two hours."

George simply sat there, watching him and listening to him, which did nothing to keep Ricky awake, though he was aching in pain, he was still extremely exhausted.

Ricky stood in the main hallway of the school, feeling infuriated. His fists were clenched as he stared into the guidance office, seeing Dr. Fields and Bob Underwood screaming at each other. Everyone in the hall had stopped talking when they had seen Lauren's father come through the door; they all knew he was a therapist, and after last year, everyone knew about Ricky's past, too.

His anger turned into total hate as Bob exited the Guidance office and stared at him like he was something to destroy.

"Its… I'm never gonna be screwed up enough for you, am I? I'm never going to be too damaged for you to realize that you've done enough; not until I'm dead, right? Because, I'm dead inside, I can't feel anything other than pain and hate, and you're still here. You just…don't care."

Ricky's stomach twisted as he stared at his 'father', waiting for his response. Everyone was still crowded in the hallways, still standing in the same places, but there might as well have been no one, considering how quiet it was.

Bob Underwood took three steps forward and grabbed Ricky by the side of the head, slamming it into the locker behind him twice before throwing him to the floor. "I wish you'd died."

Ricky awoke in a cold sweat, this time with Ashley standing in front of him. He'd somehow been transported back to the guest bedroom, which was plenty warm, but still, he was freezing.

As his eyes adjusted, he looked back at Ashley, suddenly apologizing with everything in the book, figuring he'd woke her up.

"Its fine; I was already awake. I heard you screaming," she told him softly. "My dad said when you woke up you might need more pain medication, so I figured I'd wait up for that to happen."Ricky shook his head at her as she handed him the painkillers and his bottle of water from earlier that night. "You didn't have to do that. I could've sucked it up a few more hours. I have before."Ashley shrugged, taking the bottle of water from him when he was finished, and setting it on the nightstand. "Well, my dad's stronger than I am, and he finally went to bed after sitting outside for like two hours."

"Bob is still out there," Ricky asked groggily. Ashley nodded, getting up and walking over to the window. Sure enough, the green car was sat across the street.

Screams filled the hallway and Ashley groaned, holding her head in her hands. "Amy please, get up," she spoke softly, only talking to herself. Ricky looked at her, wishing he could go to his son so Amy wouldn't have to do this all on her own. God only knew how long it would be until he'd be able to help her.

"I'm sorry. If I wasn't so screwed up, I'd be able to help her," Ricky admitted. He honestly believed that everything that was going wrong right now was actually his fault.

"You don't have to be sorry."Her voice was soft, and groggy as she stepped in the doorway, holding the baby in her arms. Ricky looked up, seeing Amy as she stepped into the room. She padded over to the side of the bed, sitting down next to him. She moved so slowly and gently, she barely touched his arms as she laid Ryan in them. Ricky adjusted him lightly, but he was amazed at how quickly this little creature had calmed, just by being by him. After all, he considered himself a freak of nature. Is not like his parents had wanted him in the first place.

"I don't know why, but he seems drawn to you. Like he knows," Amy spoke softly.

Ricky smiled softly at her, gently running his forefinger against Ryan's cheek. His body was sore and it ached, but seeing his son made him feel a world better.

Amy walked out of the room suddenly, leaving Ricky and Ashley to tend to Ryan. Ricky's gaze quickly moved to Ashley, begging her to take Ryan.

"Why? He's fine. Look, he's already back to sleep," Ashley assured him.

"No, no no," Ricky spoke quickly, holding Ryan away from him. "Please just take him. I'll hurt him or something. I don't want to do that. Please!" His pleas became more dramatic as he glared at Ashley begging, pleading her to take Ryan from him.

Amy returned a moment later with a bottle, seeing Ricky fretting, literally shaking with Ryan in his arms. "What're you doing!?"

She snatched Ryan from Ricky's arms, holding him close to her chest, as if those few moments had cause so much damage to her still sleeping son.

"Amy, he wasn't trying to shake Ryan, he was scared," Ashley blurted quickly, rounding the bed. "Look he's not even hurt. He's shaking because he's scared, not because he wants to hurt Ryan."

Ricky gulped, shaking his head at himself. "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying…I just didn't expect you to leave him here with me. I can't care for a baby right now. I can't even care for myself."

Amy nodded after a moment, seeing that he was telling the truth. "Well, I guess we should all get back to bed before mom or dad knows we're all awake. Ash, you have school tomorrow, don't you," Amy asked.

Ashley shrugged, twisting her hair between her fingers. "If creepy ever leaves the curb outside the house. You know how mom is now that Ryan's here."Amy pursed her lips, staring at the wall. "Yeah."

Anne had been on a tighter reign ever since they'd gotten home, telling Amy not to do certain things with Ryan. She knew her mother was only trying to teach her how to care for her son, but a part of her felt like her mom was just trying to do all the parenting on her own; something she'd told Amy she didn't want to do.

Ashley looked over Amy's shoulder at Ryan's sleeping face and smiled, kissing the baby's forehead before she walked out of the room, mumbling a goodnight over her shoulder as she did.

Amy looked back up at Ricky, who clearly wasn't looking like he would be falling asleep any time soon. Truthfully, Amy was exhausted after the day she'd had. She'd been woken at 7 AM by the hospital staff to have breakfast, and just as she'd finished, Ryan had woken so she'd had to feed him, and then pack to go home. Her whole day had been hectic, not including how things had taken a turn after Ricky arrived. She tried not to be frustrated at him, but a part of her just wanted to fall asleep.

She knew a relationship took work though. And they certainly had a lot of work to do. She just wished since he was awake he could take care of Ryan.

Amy walked over to the bed, sitting on the opposite side of where Ricky was laying, and she laid Ryan between them, so he was nestled safely, but wouldn't be smothered. "I can stay here, if you'd like," Amy spoke genuinely.

Ricky smiled at her, nodding. "That'd be nice. I can watch him if you'd like me to. You can sleep."Amy shook her head, watching Ricky as he stared down at Ryan in wonder. "Your silence scares me," Amy admitted. "It scares me that I've done something wrong to scare you or make you have one of those…flashbacks?"Ricky looked up at her, swallowing hard and nodding. "Yeah. I'm sorry. I can't control them. They just happen when they're…I guess you could say brought on.""Triggered, you mean," Amy asked.

Ricky nodded again. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

Amy rolled her eyes, smiling at him. "Remember, I did get myself informed when I found out about everything."

Ricky nodded, remembering when Lauren had pretty much told the entire school about his past. He had intended on telling Amy, if and when she had intended on keeping the baby, but he had never been sure quite how to go about it. But as many bad things go, he didn't get the chance because someone spilled it before he could. "Look, Amy, I was gonna tell you, I just-"

She shook her head, reaching up and touching his cheek. He winced as her fingers brushed against the bruise on his jaw line. "I never cared that you didn't tell me. Truthfully I've pretty much lived the storybook childhood, and up until my parents started having problems, there wasn't any major shifts in my life. But I understood that you didn't tell me. I didn't even know I was going to keep John then. We didn't even know if we even remotely liked each other then," she explained. "It may have been enough to send me running the other way had it been before then. Everything was hectic, I didn't want to come back to school, I wanted to run away and leave town. So I don't blame you."

Ricky kissed the inside of her palm, smiling lightly, though it cause him physical pain. "Thank you."

"It just….it hurts me, when you get emotional when people show you any amount of affection. I mean I know its because you're not used to it, but its just not fair. You should be able to feel like you at least deserve it a little."

Ricky shrugged at her statement, looking down at John again. "Why? You were fifteen, barely entering high school and I got you pregnant. Not only that, but I was still sleeping around with other girls. I've clearly made no effort to work with my shrink up to this point. And yet I deserve to be happy? No, Amy, I don't think I do. I think I deserve everything I got yesterday, and more. I've changed your life completely, and I don't deserve to have you or your family helping me right now."

Amy sighed heavily, laying down on her side of the bed, staring at the window. "You're wrong Ricky. Some way, some how, I'll prove that to you. You're a good person and you deserve to be loved. Everyone does."Ricky gave up defeat against her argument, knowing he wouldn't get through to her, but still believing she was wrong. He was too exhausted to keep fighting with her. "Are you staying up," he spoke softly.

Amy shrugged, watching John sleep once again. Ricky shifted in the bed so that he was lying on his chest, and rubbed his face against the pillow, as if it could stop the throbbing or itching from the stitches. "I can't stay awake any longer," he mumbled as he closed his eyes. He felt Amy shift and she kissed the side of his head before taking his hand and holding it in her own. He opened his eyes one more time, seeing that her eyes were closed, and he closed his as well, wearily hoping to get a few more hours of sleep before life had to start again in the day-light.

I think I love you, Amy Juergens. But I don't think I can ever tell you that…