Chapter 2

Red had been waiting at the cemetery for close to three hours. He had gotten a message from Dembe that Liz and Marie would be visiting his grave today but was not sure of the time. A feeling of intense nervousness washed over him when he saw the familiar black Mercedes pull up to his grave. He wanted nothing more than to run over to her and his daughter the second they stepped out of the car but he knew that he needed to speak with Liz alone before even trying to tackle talking to his daughter. Red had been "dead" for six months before Dembe told him that Liz was carrying his child. He almost dropped everything to come out of hiding just so he could see his little girl, but he knew that he needed to end this war if he wanted to be able to have a normal life.

"Red? Is that really you?" Liz's voice sounded so small, so full of wariness.

He took a deep breath, removing his red tinted sunglasses. "Yes Lizzie, it's really me."

Red didn't immediately go to her, he felt that she needed to make the first move. Finding her feet, Liz slowly started to walk towards him, extending her hand out to touch him. She fully expected her hand to pass right through him thinking she was having a hallucination, but her hand met a firm, real body. Tears streamed down her face, uncontrolled and forceful, her breathing picking up to an almost hyperventilating speed. She pressed her left hand harder against his body, reassuring herself that he really is here standing in front of her, alive. Red brought his right hand up to cover hers laying against his chest, keeping the contact between them he's missed for so long. Tears fell down his cheeks as well. Before he realized what was happening, Liz's right palm connected painfully with his cheek and making his head turn slightly at the blow, the sharp sound breaking to quiet of the morning.

"H-how c-could you do t-that to me? Three years…" She yelled. He expected her to be angry with him. He was fully prepared for her to hit and yell at him. Her hand connected with his cheek again, and he just took the blow. "Three years…thr-three fu-fucking years I mourned y-y-your de-death you son of-of a bitch!"

She slapped him a third time before balling up her fists and beating his chest over and over. Her cries and words of venom molded together to become a string of incoherent babbling as she let out her rage. He just stood there and took it, he knew he deserved every minute of this and would stay here for as long as Liz needed. In front of him Liz's eyes were wide and her breathing was getting faster and faster, and her strikes getting weaker and weaker. Liz was hyperventilating. Her eyes were wide and scared, tears still streaming down her face unchecked, and then her knees buckled, Red was there to catch her. He would never let her fall. Ever. Quickly he pulled her into his chest as they sunk to the ground.

"It's ok Lizzie. I'm here. I'm really here with you my love." He cooed into her ear. "Slow your breathing sweetheart. Breath in and out with me." He repeated to her as they sat on the ground, Red slowly rocked them back and forth needing her to calm down. With his right hand still covering her own against his chest, he maneuvered them through his layers of clothes until her hand made contact with the warm skin of his chest. He slid her hand over until it was covering where his heart lay beneath.

"Feel my heartbeat Lizzie. Calm your breathing. It's ok." The contact seemed to be working, she was slowly calming down, her breathing slowed and her sobs quieting down to occasional sniffs. Her right arm had worked its way around his neck, keeping him as close to her as she can manage.

"Raymond." She breathed against his neck.

"I'm here Lizzie, my Lizzie." He replied back, thick with emotion. He had feared that he would never feel her against him again, but having her here now in his arms is the best moment he's experienced in three years. Pulling her head back to look at him, Red leaned in and captured her lips in a fierce kiss, not wanting to wait any longer to taste her again.

She tightened her hold on his head allowing him to deepen the kiss, sighing when his tongue touched hers. She was still livid with him, but having him in her arms again after being so long without him, she allowed her happiness to override her anger, she could yell at him later. They sat there for what seemed like forever, reacquainting themselves with each other's mouth. Liz pulled back suddenly turning her head to look behind her, the car was gone.

"I had Dembe take her for a drive so that you and I could talk." He held his hand up, stopping her from speaking. "Lizzie, sweetheart…I know you are absolutely livid with me and you have every right to be, but I'm begging you to please let me explain why I did what I did."

She regarded him for a moment before nodding. His shoulders sagged in relief and he moved to stand up, he reached down and assisted her before lacing his fingers through her own. They slowly started walking, with no destination in mind and after a minute Red began his tale.

"Lizzie, before I begin I need you to allow me to say my piece without interruption. I need you to keep an open mind. Can you do that for me please?" She could only nod her agreement. "For a while now I knew there was another mole in the FBI, someone who wasn't part of the Cabal or one of the Directors men. Even though we had taken out all the big players of the Cabal I knew there were others. It took me nearly a year to discover that is was Agent Ressler. Believe me I was not prepared for that one, but after another six months I was able to confirm it without a doubt. I knew then and there that no matter what happened, you were not going to be exonerated, so I made a deal with Donald. I told him that I would give him anything he wanted as long as you were spared. He agreed but said that the only thing that he wanted, really wanted, was for me to turn myself into him."

Red took a breath. "So I agreed. Dembe and I set up the meeting but part of me knew that I wasn't going to walk out of there alive. So I made sure that my entire medical team was on standby. I met with Donald, handed him everything that would be needed to set you free. I'll admit that I wasn't expecting him to be the one to pull the trigger, although now that I think about it, it makes sense. Anyway Dembe rushed me to Kate but I knew that unless Ressler thought I was truly dead you wouldn't be free. So I had Kate fake my death, she had a death certificate made up and we had Harold Cooper brought in to deliver the news to the entire task force. Dembe didn't find out I was alive until about three months after we staged it and I suffered a broken jaw because of it. Anyway, I've spent the last three years hunting down the remaining people of the Cabal."

He stopped and turned towards her, cupping her face in his hands. "It's finally over Lizzie. Every threat has been eliminated, and every shred of evidence against you and me is gone. I know you may hate me for what I did but believe me that I did it only to keep you and Marie safe."

Liz just stared at him, searching his eyes for any trace of deceit and couldn't find anything but undying love and devotion. She tried to be mad at him, she wanted to be mad at him, wanted to scream and yell and hit him. She wanted to hate him for what he put her through, for what he put their daughter through. She wanted to tell him how much she's suffered over the years. She wanted to tell him to go to hell and walk away but she couldn't. She listened to his explanation and could only feel immense love for him, love for a man who gave up his family to protect them. The tears came back and she threw herself against him wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her face in his neck.

"I love you Raymond, and I could never hate you. I am however extremely pissed at you and will be giving you an ear full later, but right now I'm just so happy to have you back with me. With us. I don't agree with the way you went about eliminating OUR enemies but I understand why you did it. All I want right now is for us to go home so we can be alone and reacquaint our bodies with one another, then spend the rest of our lives together as a family."

Red felt new tears prickle his eyes has he hugged her tightly to him. He was so overwhelmed that Liz wasn't turning away from him. He had been so hesitant to approach her, knowing that there was a strong chance that she would turn from him and not allow him in her life, or in his daughter's life. Yet here she was in his arms holding onto him for dear life. He pulled back, watery blue eyes locked onto watery blue eyes. The smile on her face was huge and bright and Red couldn't help but mimic it.

"Do you want me to call Dembe back?" Her smiled faltered a bit. She had completely forgotten about Marie.

"Oh my god…Red…how are we gonna tell Marie?" Liz started to panic again. "What if she doesn't understand? What if she hates me for this?"

"Lizzie, sweetheart calm down." Red couldn't hold back his chuckle which earned him a nasty glare. "We don't have to explain everything to her in detail. Remember she's only three years old, she only needs the basics. Let me handle it okay?"

Liz nodded and stepped back from Red as he called Dembe. She took this moment to really look at him. At first she thought he was thinner, that he had lost weight, but he seemed to in fact have added on some muscle judging by what she felt when she hugged him. She was shocked when she saw the five o'clock shadow that he hadn't shaved off yet, although it did look damn sexy on him. He still held himself with the same commanding presence that had first drawn her to him. He was still her Red and she was so happy to have him back.

Red snapped the phone shut and stepped close to Liz. "They'll be here in a few minutes. How much does she know about me?"

Liz wrapped her arms around his waist. "She knows you worked with me, I didn't tell her in what capacity though. She knows what you look like. I have showed her pictures of you every day since the day she was born, and regaled her with some of your stories when putting her to sleep at night." Liz felt embarrassed when she felt the tears welling up in her eyes again. "I didn't want her to grow up not knowing what her father looked like or who he was."

Red was about to respond when he heard the car pull up, seeing Dembe exiting the car. Liz moved towards the back seat wanting to give Red and Dembe a moment. The two men embraced strongly, exchanging words in Dembe's mother tongue before hugging again. Liz helped her daughter out of the car, trying to keep Red out of her line of sight, turning Marie's back to Red, Liz squatted down so that she was eye level with her daughter.

"Marie baby…um…mommy has something that she needs to tell you. And she needs you to be a big girl and listen fully before asking questions okay? Do you think you can do that for me?"

The little girl nodded enthusiastically. "Yes mommy. I can be a big girl."

Liz planted a kiss to her rosy cheek. "Marie, do you remember how I told you that your daddy was in heaven?" The little girl nodded. "And do you remember how I told you that once someone goes to heaven they don't come back because they become an angel and watch over us?"

Again a nod, Liz took a deep breath and snuck a glance at Red before continuing. "Well mommy made a mistake my sweet. I want you to turn around." Slowly the toddler turned, locking eyes with Red who had crouched down as well. They held eye contact for a while, Red could see the wheels in her little head turning. He took his hat and glasses off, laying them on the ground before opening his mouth.

"Hello Marie." Was all he said, he didn't want to freak out the child.

Marie looked back at Liz with a confused look on her face. "Why does he look like daddy?"

"Because…that is daddy Marie."

"But daddy's dead." It was more of a statement than a question. Liz opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by Red.

"Marie." She turned back to look at him. "I was pretending to be dead. There were people that wanted to hurt mommy, so I pretended to be dead so that they would leave her alone. I am so sorry that I wasn't able to tell you that it was all just pretend. I am sorry that I haven't been with you all this time. But I did what I needed to do in order to keep you and mommy safe."

The little girl looked at him and for a long time said nothing. After what seemed like an eternity her little legs moved and she walked towards Red. No words were said by anyone as she threw her little arms around his neck, squeezing at tightly as a three year old could. Immediately Red's arms enclosed around Marie's body as tears fell silently down his face. He buried his nose in her hair allowing her scent to wash over him. While he loved Liz with every fiber of his being, the love he felt for his little girl in his arms was insurmountable.

He held onto her for a few moments more before trying to pull back. He smiled as her arms tightened around his neck, keeping on arm under her legs Red stood up, extending his hand to Liz who wasted no time threading their fingers together. As one unit they turned towards Dembe who already had the back door opened, Liz went first followed by Red who gave Dembe a smile of thanks. Dembe waited until Liz gave him the go ahead and slowly pulled the car out of the cemetery and headed towards Liz's house.