Thank you to all who reviewed, and shared their thoughts about potential stories.
It's important to note, of course, that all of these stories are at least slightly OOC. Because Disney is a magical fairy land where everything is solved in roughly 90 minutes. As much as I wish life were that way, alas, it is not so. I'll talk a little more about Anna and her abandonment issues in particular in the A/N.
I hope you guys enjoy, and remember I am not Walt Disney or a descendant, so I have no claim to his property.
"Anna, I think I need to get away for a few days. Spend some time with my family."
Anna swallowed before she turned to face Kristoff. She had expected this, but she was surprised at the twinge of pain she felt despite her preparation. Still, she painted her princess smile on her face and turned to regard him.
"Is everything alright?" she asked, careful to include the chipper lilt in her voice that she was well known for, regardless of how manufactured it might be.
Kristoff nodded, gracing her with his halfcocked smile. "Yeah, of course. Just need to get out of the castle, get some fresh air for a bit. You understand."
Anna felt her nose crinkle imperceptibly. Oh yes. She understood all too well. Her smile never faltered. "Have fun then, okay?" She threw her arms around Kristoff's neck, because that was what she was expected to do. But when he pulled her body into his own, even she couldn't hide her shudder.
She pulled back and shrugged, blinking her doe eyes up at him. "Cold." She explained succinctly, and he didn't question her further.
They talked for a few more minutes, but Anna felt him pulling away from the room as hard as he could. She was grateful, her emotions were much closer to the surface than she had anticipated, and she wanted him out.
As soon as the door clicked shut, Anna ripped the sparkly engagement ring from her fingers, grinding it into the mattress with her hand. The diamonds cut up into her palm, yet she pushed harder. How stupid she had been, to allow herself to think this would be different. Everything she dared to love had left her.
She had received this cold lesson many times in her life. Elsa left her –more than once- of her own volition. At least her parents' abandonment wasn't by choice. And then there was Hans, the first person she had dared to love. The first time he had looked at her, she felt weightless. He was perfect, and he seemed to know her better than she knew herself.
Oh, Anna. If only somebody loved you.
Of course it had been a lie. Anna mentally berated herself. Love is always, always a lie. Love is the lie we tell ourselves to help us get through life. It isn't real.
It was the same mantra she had repeated to herself many, many times in her life. She said it like a prayer any time the flame of hope flickered in her mind. Any time Kristoff touched her, or told her he loved her. Any time she was close to thinking she could be happy, even for a moment; it was the plea that left her lips. It isn't real.
Of course, it sounded like a joke to her. Her sister's love had saved her life, of course. But the great cosmic joke was that it was the same "love" that had injured her to the point of death in the first place. And it was Anna's blind hope, the part of her she despised the most, that had gotten her in that castle to chase a sister that clearly had no use or desire to be around her.
Her internal self-flagellation only intensified as tears started to cloud her vison.
"Goddammit." She muttered to herself, annoyed and embarrassed at her emotions getting the best of her.
You don't need him, remember? You don't need anybody. Anna gently reminded herself. Hadn't she been making it on her own for years? She had been spoiled as a child, to have a best friend in Elsa. Once that was ripped away from her (as all good things are, she reiterated) she had raised herself. Her parents had been far too busy dealing with Elsa's… uniqueness, that they had barely spared her a second thought. And all of the servants, including her beloved nanny Dagmar had been summarily dismissed.
Anna remembered waking up one morning, not long after everything had changed. The entire castle was different- it was dark, and cold. She had woken up, and found no one. She had read, for a while, but hunger soon overtook her and she wandered into the kitchen. There were no cooks of course; it would have been a waste for a family of four. And later, she would understand that each addition to the staff increased their risk.
She had pulled up a chair to the stove, since she couldn't reach the knobs on her own, and she had carefully mixed eggs in a pan, as she had watched their old chef do a few times. The toast, at least, had been easy. And she had even found some hot chocolate mix in the pantry, her favorite. The eggs had been terrible, the toast slightly burned and dry, and the hot chocolate too watery. But it was hers; she had made it without help, and she ate every last crumb.
The memory heartened her, even as she clung to one of the overly frilly throw pillows on her ostentatious bed. A treacherous part of her brain reminded her that the castle probably WAS a little oppressive to someone who had lived almost exclusively outside his entire life. That he was just leaving, he wasn't necessarily leaving her. And she might have believed it, but for the thrumming in her heart, that worked its way through her entire body, swallowed in the pit that was her stomach which reminded her that she'd been here before. She knew what allowing oneself to feel, to rely on someone else resulted in, and she had done it anyway. She had no one to blame but herself.
Anna sat up suddenly on her bed. Kristoff might not be the first one to hurt her, but he could certainly be the last. The solution was simple, and she should have stuck to it all along. She just needed to turn off that side of her again.
She clenched her eyes shut. Even Anna, at her most verklempt knew it was a task easier said than done. She loved Kristoff, as much as she had tried not to. He made her happy, as hard as she tried not to be. But still, it ended here, with her eyes stinging from wet mascara. Well, never again.
So by the time a servant knocked on her door a few minutes later, Anna's eyes were dry, and her chin was proudly pointed in the air. She descended the stairs with as much as grace as she could muster to meet her sister.
"Hello Anna!" Elsa grinned happily at her, and Anna smiled coolly at her sister, as she took her place in the chair adjacent to her.
At her unenthusiastic response, Elsa's eyes narrowed on her nearly imperceptibly. "Anna, are you alright?" she asked softly, reaching out to place a hand on Anna's own.
Before their skin connected, Anna moved to her wine glass, taking a sip as an excuse.
"I'm fine, Elsa. I'm always fine."
I always felt like Anna was a lot stronger than the movie credited her for. Elsa took up all the angst, so they tried to balance it with Anna being a little goofy, which is fine, it's probably a more enjoyable movie that way. She always just bounced back up no matter how many times she got knocked down, so the twist here is kind of just like, well, what if getting up wasn't so easy for her?
My beta had a few questions I feel like I should address, though I hope the story covered it. This is Anna's defense mechanism. She's been abandoned so many times, that it doesn't matter if Kristoff actually leaves or not. She expects him too, and she shuts down. It's easier for her to feel nothing, than to feel that relentless pain again.
I'm sorry these little one shots will never be a nice pick me up at the end of the day. But I feel like these stories are important. I hope you guys find something in them that touches you. I've already kind of started stories for Mulan and Rapunzel, so those are in the shoot.
I'm always open to your ideas and thoughts, so leave a review! Thank you for reading!
