I'd like to thank each and every one of you that left me a review, but special thanks go to my favourite Spanish-speaking reader, who's been supporting me since the very beginning. My Spanish isn't that good to tell you exactly how much your comments mean to me, but I read them and I appreciate every single one of them. Thank you!

I do hope all of you will enjoy this one! :)

Two: The past. (06/12/2015)

One of the best things about the BAU was that the five days leading up to Christmas Day were spent in Quantico. No new cases were taken, the team used this time to catch up on paperwork, and sociopaths had to wait – the team deserved to spend Christmas with their loved ones.

JJ busied herself looking through new case files and trying to sort them, to be sure where to go next once Christmas was over. She didn't really have time to dwell on the events that had taken place the previous night, which was probably for the better, as it was just ludicrous.

Garcia stopped only once, making sure JJ would be present at the party. JJ of course knew she couldn't possibly turn the invitation down if she tried – which she hadn't – because she was pretty certain Garcia would somehow engage the entire SWAT team in the mission of kidnapping her from her own house and dropping her off by Penelope's place.

Therefore, JJ nodded cheerfully when asked, and couldn't help but chuckle when Garcia beamed back at her.

"It's gonna be so amazing, Jayje! I've got the entire house decorated with Christmas lights and colourful balls, and more lights, and with little Santas... I'm telling you, I'm unstoppable this year!"

"Aren't you always, though?"

"I really don't want to brag, but..."

JJ laughed, shaking her head.

"Everybody's going to be there, too," Penelope continued. "Rossi and Emily, Morgan – and I invited Jordan, because, hey, a little bit of match-making never hurt anybody; then there's Kevin, obviously, and you and Hotch."

JJ coughed.

"I thought Hotch wasn't too fond of parties?"

"He said he'd love to spend some quality time with actual adults before diving into Christmas celebrations with a 6-year-old."

"That's nice," JJ nodded.

"Is everything okay? Did you two have a fight, or something? You seem to be avoiding one another."

"That's nonsense," JJ waved her hand dismissively. "I mean, I go to him with new cases every single day, we talk all the time."

"But not like you used to."

"People drift apart. That's natural."

"If you say so." Garcia shrugged and JJ was half glad, half shocked that she let it go so easily.

"So, what are we going to do tonight?" JJ asked, changing the subject.

"Drink as much booze as we possibly can, obviously. Sing some Christmas songs, possibly. Laugh a lot and have lots of fun, hopefully."

JJ smiled. "Sounds like a plan!"

"7pm. Don't be late, Princess!"

Avoiding Hotch while appearing not to be doing so at the party was going to be much more difficult than JJ had originally thought, apparently.

"How do I look?" JJ turned on her heel to face Will who had just entered the bedroom with little Henry in his arms.

"Gorgeous, as always. Isn't your mommy the prettiest mommy ever?" He asked Henry who just giggled adorably in response, making both parents smile.

JJ turned back to the mirror, once again checking her appearance. She chose to wear a short cobalt dress with sleeves made entirely of lace. Not wanting to overdo it, she put only a little bit of mascara on and ever so slightly curled her hair. For a moment she considered wearing flats, but honestly, she hadn't been putting much effort in looking good ever since Henry was born and she felt bad about it. Sure, she was in good shape, she dressed in accordance with what was expected from a media liaison, but she didn't care as much as she used to. She felt like she had no one to impress. And that was horrible, because what she was saying was that Henry made her lazy. And that wasn't the case; she just didn't have that much time anymore.

So, tonight was a perfect opportunity to feel like a woman again. That's why she decided to wear the highest pumps she owned.

"Just call me when you're done partying. We'll come and pick you up." She heard Will say as she walked down the stairs to put on her coat. Emily and Rossi were already outside, waiting for her.

"You're sweet."

"I sure am. Have fun, Jayje." Will made Henry give her a little wave, which made her chuckle.

And that was it. That's how her boyfriend of three years was saying good-bye to her – by waving his son's hand at her.

Which was nice, she meant it. Cute.

But that was not what she imagined her life would be like, god damn it.

As she exited the car, she was laughing so hard she feared all her make-up would be gone before anyone even saw her. She couldn't help it, though; Emily and Rossi were a match made in heaven and the amount of sassy banter between them was too much for her.

"See? This is why we aren't on speaking terms fifty percent of the time."

"Maybe it will change when Emily becomes the fourth Mrs Rossi?" JJ mused, arching her brow at Dave.

"Over my dead body," Prentiss grumbled.

"What she said," Rossi nodded, laughing. "No more weddings."

"This is the one thing that we agree on. And you, JJ? Are you and Will planning on...?" Emily asked.

"Nope." JJ shook her head furiously. "Not now. Probably not ever."

"Hmm."

"Don't 'hmm' me, Emily," JJ chuckled. "Please, let's drop this? I don't want Garcia to hear us... She won't let me live."

"Sure, no problem," Prentiss nodded.

JJ smiled, clearly relieved. The whole engagement thing was a very touchy subject. She couldn't, simply could not, find it in herself to even consider marrying Will. Being the way they were was difficult enough at times. No need to complicate it even further and put unnecessary labels on them.

Penelope wasn't kidding when she said she was unstoppable this year; the house looked–

"It looks as if Santa Claus himself threw up in here," Rossi commented.

– exactly like that.

"Be nice, Garcia did this all for us! Now smile and mingle, people, smile and mingle," Emily ordered.

"Yes, ma'am!" JJ nodded.

There were about twenty people present, mostly their colleagues from the FBI and some friends of Penelope and Kevin's from the "outside", so to say. It didn't take long for them to notice Morgan and Reid.

"My, my, Agent Jareau!" Derek whistled. "You look fantastic!"

"Thank you," JJ chuckled, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Seriously, it's a shame the FBI don't let you wear shorter dresses, because, man―"

"I don't think Will would appreciate you saying this," Reid interrupted before Morgan could finish his comment, for which JJ was thankful. Suddenly, she felt very self conscious about her appearance.

"I'm sorry," Morgan laughed. "You look beautiful, though."

"Thanks again," she replied. "Are you two alone? Where's the rest of the team?"

"Well, Garcia and her lover boy are getting the booze, you guys are here, and Hotch's yet to arrive."

"He's not here?" JJ squeaked, before she could stop herself. Now everyone was eyeing her suspiciously and she cursed herself under her breath. "I mean, it'd be a shame if he couldn't make it."

"I am sure it would be." Rossi nodded solemnly. JJ didn't want to say anything more, but she knew he was implying something improper.

"Speaking of the devil..." Reid gestured at something behind JJ's back. She turned around and a soft smile spread across her face, because it was always – always – nice to see Hotch. Period. Seeing Hotch wear something else than his usual suit and tie was even nicer. He looked especially becoming tonight in a beige rollneck and dark jeans.

She felt bad, but it wasn't like she was blind; she had to appreciate other men's beauty. His, for example. And god only knew how many female – and male – FBI agents were openly crushing on her boss.

What she didn't approve of was the fact that he didn't exactly look like a man who wanted to have a blast. This shouldn't be surprising, as everyone would unanimously agree that Hotch was always super serious and uptight, and getting a chuckle out of him was nearly impossible.

She knew it wasn't true and that's what made her so worried. Even more so, she knew that she was the reason he was apparently feeling uneasy.

Damn.

Scanning the crowd Hotch found his team within a few seconds and soon was heading their way, and – JJ noted – tried his best not to meet her eyes.

Damn.

"Christmas cheer, Hotch!" Rossi called when he knew his friend could hear him.

"Yeah, right back at'cha," he nodded. "It's nice to see you all. Where's our host?"

"Still making us her special Christmas cocktails," Morgan replied. "I sure hope we're gonna get smashed tonight!"

"I'll personally check if you're on time at work tomorrow, Agent Morgan," Hotch shook his head, smirking.

"We should have tomorrow off." Derek grumbled.

"Keep dreaming, Hot Chocolate!" They heard Garcia laugh behind them. "I brought you my specialty, Santa Claus's cocktails!"

"They're very red," Reid eyed them suspiciously.

"That's kinda the point!" Penelope giggled. "They're marvellous, and we've got plenty of them, so just have fun, you guys!"

"Cheers!"

A few hours later, JJ found Hotch sitting on one of the sofas in the living room, quietly sipping on his drink. Hesitating only for a moment, she sat down next to him and bit on her lip, waiting for him to turn and look at her.

"Is everything okay?" She asked.

"Sure. You should go and party with the rest."

"They're fine. Garcia and Kevin are busy making out, Reid, Prentiss and Rossi are having a blast talking mad shit about everybody, and Morgan... Well, Morgan is trying his best to finally swoon Todd off her feet, but the girl is good."

Hotch barked a laugh.

"I can see he's getting frustrated."

"They're gonna become an item tonight. I can feel it. And what about you? Why are you not with Rossi?"

"I needed a quiet moment."

"Hotch, will you look at me?" It took him a moment, but he finally did. God, she missed him. "I know you're not exactly comfortable with me being here as well, but I really hoped that that conversation wouldn't hurt us. And it did. And I understand it if you're angry with me, but you have got to cheer up, I'm afraid. The team are getting frustrated with your mood swings."

"What do you mean?" He furrowed his brows, clearly not knowing what she was talking about. "I'm a fucking delight."

She blinked.

And blinked again.

He wasn't being ironic. He was being serious.

JJ snorted in the most unladylike manner, and Hotch chuckled.

"Let's go and mingle, then," he said. "For the record, I'm not uncomfortable with you being here. Whatever. You look beautiful, by the way."

She actually blushed.

"Thank you," JJ smiled before standing up and offering Hotch her hand.

He didn't take it.

And it hurt.

Trying not to let it show, she turned on her heel and headed towards the rest of the team. She knew he was right behind her, but she didn't look back.

It was all her fault, she knew, but she was furious that he just couldn't understand where she was coming from.

Their friendship – or whatever it was that had existed between them – was clearly over.

She was so damn drunk, JJ giggled as she got under the covers. Will had already fallen asleep – he had gone to bed as soon as they had got back home, saying he was dead tired after the entire day spent with Henry.

She had managed to change into something more pyjamas-like and get rid of all make-up before plopping down on her side of their bed.

She couldn't help but smile as she recalled the rest of her evening. Everybody had been drunk, Jordan and Derek couldn't stop kissing, Hotch and Rossi had shared so many hilarious stories with them that JJ's stomach still hurt from laughing so hard, and overall, the party was a success.

They were going to regret it so much tomorrow at work.

She didn't even realise when she fell asleep as well.

"Do you like Christmas?" JJ hears.

Oh no no no no, she's here again. In that weird, bright place, in which she was told she would find herself again, but she didn't believe it, and yes, it is happening!

God damn it.

"You're quite drunk," the voice of her... subconscious mind tells her. This is ridiculous, she wants to wake up already. "But I do hope you'll remember the gist of what I'm about to show you. So, Jennifer. Do you like Christmas?"

"I do," JJ grumbles. "I mean, I used to love it. But I'm not a child anymore."

"Funny you should say that."

"Say what?"

"Both things."

She's confused again. Her own brain confuses her.

Is it a brain tumor?!

"You're not sick, JJ, just asleep."

"This is still the dumbest thing to ever happen to me."

The voice doesn't answer, but to JJ's shock, the bright, white room suddenly is filled with colours, shapes, everything becomes clearer and clearer, and before she can get even more dumbfounded, she recognises the place she's at now.

"Oh God," a sob escapes her throat. "That's my sister!"

"And you," the voice adds.

They're both there, dancing in front of the Christmas tree. She must be no more than seven, and she suddenly remembers this particular Christmas. They had so much fun, they sang, decorated the tree, and JJ recalls that later that evening, as she would be sitting snuggled against her mother's side, her little arms wrapped around her sister, she would wish...

"What did you wish for that night?"

"I..."

"Just say it."

"I hoped I would stay this happy forever."

"And did you?"

"I..."

"We both know the answer, JJ. You wanted t be happy, that was your only wish. And you did – and still are doing – nothing to make this wish come true."

How can she be happy? Her sister is dead, she isn't that close with her parents anymore, as they can't stand the fact that she and Will are still not married, and everything that she so naively wished for just… isn't meant to happen to her.

"At least my son will be happy. That's enough for me."

"Is it? And, will he? We'll see about it."

"What do you mean?" She asks, alarmed.

"That's something for another night, JJ. Sleep tight. And I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Four more to go! See you Thursday (I think... ;P)