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"A letter?" Rory mumbled to herself and tried to calm down again.

"Yeah, I suppose if you want to read it now that would be ok. I'm just worried about you Rory." Lorelai said, looking at her daughter concerned.

"I know you are, Mom. It just makes no sense that he had to die. Stupid cancer! The illness ruined everything! It took one of the most important people in my life away. Why? Why him?" Rory said in desperation and stopped for a moment. She closed her eyes for a brief moment.

"Why? I don't understand it. I mean six days ago I talked to him, and now he's gone forever. Cami was looking for him in the closet. In the closet. Can you imagine? She was searching for him." Rory continued, looking at her mom with sad eyes and couldn't hold back her tears any longer.

Her mother tried consoling her, "Rory, she's three years old. She doesn't understand what happened six days ago. If you want the letter now, I..."

"Yes please Mom, " Rory said cutting her off. "I need to read it. I'm strong enough to handle it, don't worry ok?" she said looking pleadingly at her mother.

"Alright, I'll be right back," Lorelai told her, brushing a strand brown hair from her face.

"Thank,s, Mom," Rory nodded as her Mom left the room. She laid down on her bed, and when she turned over, she looked at the wedding picture. James was so happy on that day. In the photo, he had embraced her tightly, and his arms were on her abdomen.

The pregnancy was hardly recognizable in this photograph. Rory had to swallow the lump in her throat and tried to stay calm. "Baby, I miss you so much," she whispered to herself while the tears were streaming down her cheeks again.

Rory curled in the fetal position and couldn't calm down. The pain did stop. James was everywhere. She just wanted to run away and never come back. But she couldn't and wouldn't leave Cami alone. She needed her mommy.

"Rory?" Lore sighed and gently crawled on the other side of the bed. She hugged her daughter and kissed her soft chocolate hair.

"Mom I want to be with him so badly. I can't live without him. I mean who will cook for Cami and me? Or cheer me up when I'm crying about Pretty Woman or Casablanca?! I'm so terrified about the funeral Mom, what if I break down or can't say the eulogy?" Rory cried.

"We are here Rory; we don't let you down. I know your eulogy will be from the heart and honor James's memory of what a wonderful person he was," she tried to cheer her up.

"Thank you again, mom. I'm so happy to have you by my side. You're my rock mom and dad of course too. Maybe Cami and I can sleep at your place tonight? I don't want to be alone in our penthouse. We can make a wallowing movie night perhaps?" Rory said leaning against her mother.

"That is a good idea. We can order food and have it delivered. If you don't mind, Samantha could join us. I'm sure that would help you. You and Sammy have always had a good relationship with each other. She can help you get through this just like I will and never forget that you and Cami are loved. Youˋre not alone." Lorelai smiled at her tenderly and stroked her tear stained cheeks.

"I know I'm so glad that I have her and Matt in my life. They mean the world to me and are such a help with Cami," Rory said as she faced Lorelai. "May I have the letter now Mom? I want to read it, please," she sobbed and tried to get up from the bed, but was too weak and tired.

"How about I read it to you? I think it would be easier for you. Afterward, you have to eat something; you're looking too thin." Lorelai suggested to her daughter.

"But I'm not hungry Mom. I'm too nervous to eat anything, and I'm glad that Colin is coming today. He interrupted his trial in New York to be here for us. Maybe he will finally join dad at the family firm." Rory shook her head and wiped her tears away.

"That's good to hear. Colin is a great lawyer. Dad will be happy about it if he can get him to join the firm. Nobody is as good as Colin when it comes to divorce. Shall I begin to read, sweets?" Lorelai asked as she held the letter in her hands and looked at Rory.

"I'm afraid Mom," Rory blanches as she looked at her mother's face.

"You don't have to hear it now. I promised James that you'd get the letter, but it doesn't have to be now," Lorelai said pausing with the envelope in her hand.

"I want to hear it now," Rory said firmly. Lorelai began to read the letter.

My dearest honeybee,

I don't know where I should start. I never imagined I'd have to leave you and our bumblebee so soon. I had always thought that I'm going to die when I'm in my early eighties in a rocking chair next to you on a big porch with our grandkids or maybe great-grandkids playing at our feet, not at 26 years old when our life just started. I won't lie to you... I'm afraid of dying, but it is easier for me to go when you're by my side.

I don't know when my time is coming to Rory, but you must know that I enjoyed every minute with you and Cami. You and Cami mean so much to me.

Do you remember when we first met in Oxford at the university at the tender age of 23 and 22? It was a miracle for me, and you're the best thing that happened in my life besides Cami. She was a big surprise, and I couldn't imagine my life without her. Cameron is a whirlwind, and a good mixture of you and me and I know you will raise Cameron to be a self-confident woman.

Lorelai stopped for a moment and looked at Rory. Rory was fighting against her tears. "Oh my god! Mom, it must have taken him so much strength to write this letter," she said with a weak voice.

"I am sure it did. He was an amazing man Rory," Lorelai said struggling with her. "Should I continue Sweets?" her mother questioned, looking at her eldest daughter with a worried facial expression.

"Yes, before I change my mind." Rory nodded, and she continued.

Rory, my wonderful honey bee I know you're strong, but please don't make any hasty decisions when I'm not here anymore. I hope you know what I'm talking about. It is terrible enough for Cami to lose me. She shouldn't miss her adorable Mommy too.

I can't protect you and Cami anymore if my parents are coming to…(God, I don't even want to write it) to my funeral, please send them away. I don't want them at my funeral. My parents were so rude towards to you.

I get so angry thinking about them wanting you to have an abortion because it wasn't a boy. That still repulses me.

I was happy that it was a little girl, and it makes me so sad that I can't give her a baby brother or baby sister to play with. I would do anything for you and Cami. I wish I could be healthy again, but doctor Johnson, while he hasn't given up, isn't given me great odds. I'm so sorry that I didn't fight hard enough for you and our precious daughter.

A few days ago, I talked with Logan, my boss. He will offer you a job after my funeral. I know that sounds so weird. At my funeral, you will be offered a job. Please listen to him though, Rory. He's a nice guy, and in the last three years of our friendship,p, we became close. I'm going to miss him.

Of course, it's up to you. You can consider if you want to take the job or not. It's your decision. I just wanted to give you some choices.

Well now I have to go now, the next chemo treatment is waiting for me how I hate that.

But never forget that I'll love you forever Lorelai Leigh Hayden-Thompson, I'm so proud of you and little Cami. And if you ever feel lonely call, Lucy. She loves you both and will always be there for you and Cameron, and she will need you too.

Please be healthy for you and Cami. I'm going to watch over you and Cami on my little cloud just like in the comics of the Simpsons. God, I'm going to miss it not being able to watch the Simpsons with you.

Your loving husband,

James Alexander Thompson

P.S.: If you ever find the chance to be happy and someone who will love you and Cami, take it. I want you both to have that opportunity. I mean it, Rory. The thought of you with someone else crushes me, but the idea of you alone and lonely destroys me. I don't want that for you. Don't be afraid to love again. Love is the most significant thing in the world.

In the closet, you'll find a box with 15 letters and presents for Cami one for each year until she is 18 years old. Please give it to her or read it to her until she's able to read it by herself.

I want her to have memories of me when she's growing up. Thank you, Rory, thank you for nearly three beautiful years of marriage. It was an honor to be your husband and never forget that I never stop loving you and Cami.

Lorelai folded the letter and had to swallow the lump in her throat. She knew that James was good at taking care of his family, but she didn't know that he was such a vulnerable soul. He didn't show this side to her or Christopher.

Jamie was always very charming, friendly and extremely good looking, but reserved with his emotions. Though it was unbearable right now, she knew Rory was fortunate to have loved and been loved by this man.

"Mom…," Rory sobbed and tried to stop the stabbing ache in her heart.

"Oh my god,d, he was amazing. You were fortunate to be his wife sweets. He loved you and Cami unconditionally," Lorelai said as tears escaped her eyes as well.

"He was. Did you know about the boxes Mom? Did he tell you?" Rory asked her as she wiped away her tears.

"No, I didn't know about that. That was such an amazing thing to do. I know it hurts now, babe. But in years to come, you will be forever grateful to him for this," Lorelai said.

"Now, we read the letter. I know you have even more on your mind, but please eat something. For me, please. The funeral is starting in 2 hours. You haven't eaten much in days. I don't want you passing out at the service. Let sink in her new clothes too."

"Ok, Mom," Rory sighed. She followed her mother zombie-like as they left the master bedroom.