Chapter 1: That Sinking Feeling Pt. 1

"Michelle Alexa Govetsky," The loud yell shook her rather rudely out of her reverie. More than that, it sent Michelle scrambling inside her mind to figure out what it was that had her dad using her middle name. Sure, it was 11:30pm on a school night, but it wasn't entirely her fault she couldn't sleep. Okay, she admitted to herself while a hand played with her hair, she hadn't been able to sleep for exactly six days now. If you counted the eight hours of sleep she had claimed with the help of one of her mom's powerful sleeping medications, then she had managed exactly twelve hours of sleep in six days. It wasn't supposed to be that hard.

"I think you know my rules about boys after," Her dad's head popped over the door. God, for all his brains he certainly wasn't the quickest in the book. He still held that stupid rule for every boy, even her best friend. Not that it mattered, their impromptu study fest had ended almost four hours ago. Still, it was always funny to watch the holder of four PHD's back peddle so quickly, "Oh, Drew isn't still here?"

Michelle paced a couple of times in her little spot, the image on her mantle absorbing every bit of her will until she collapsed on her bed her raven hair cascading across the pink bed spread as if was outlining an angel. An angel haunted by her own admission. Her lungs inhaled and let out the loudest sigh as she gazed at the ceiling, "No daddy, Drew went home a long time ago. About the time he gave up on question seven."

"Okay then," She mentally giggled at how much of a prude her dad could be. Sure, Drew was a boy. But, he was also her best friend and her partner in whatever high jinks could come up. She knew, when push came to shove, Drew would always, always have her back. She couldn't imagine giving that feeling up for some potential romance. Not to mention that she didn't think of him that way.

The familiar steps of her father indicated that his curiosity was sated and that he was turning to leave. Only, she wasn't ready for him to leave just yet. She had something important she had to talk to him about, "Daddy?"

"Yes Shelly-cub," He was right there again. Even as she made an effort to extricate herself from her comfy prison, she knew her father was waiting right there in the doorway. How she took for granted this feeling, how warm it was.

"Do you think," She paused for a second, her eyes once again looking over at the picture on her mantle. The picture held so much, it meant so much to her. Now, it held one more thing, regret, "Do you think I did something irreparable?"

"Oh Shelly-cub," He took a few ginger steps, then a few more rushed as he sat down on the bed right next to her. Still in his lab coat, his ID was even on the lapel, but it didn't matter as she buried her head into his shoulder and let out a torrent of tears. It was a little awkward, after her last growth spurt she was only a few inches shorter than him, but she was a seventeen year old girl who only needed her father, "Nothing is irreparable. I know it hurts right now, especially after everything that happened. But, it isn't all bad. You've still got Drew and Wade. What happened, no matter what anyone says, was not your fault."

Her tears dried up and she glanced right back at the picture on the mantle. The picture that depicted the very first time she had foiled Ronald Stoppable, aka Professor Unstoppable, and his intoxicatingly amazing sidekick. It was the day she first realized that she had hit the big time, but there was something more than that. In the two years since, she found herself more and more excited every time the mission involved Unstoppable, just for the chance to tussle with Kim.

Oh god, they had been so close. Another few months and she probably could have convinced Kim to give up crime all together. And then what? Maybe they could have become friends? Michelle knew that it seemed like an insane long shot, but she was the girl who could do anything, even make friends with her arch nemesis.

A new stream of tears started flowing down her pale cheeks as the wound reopened. That was all gone now. Any chance she had were dissolving in front of her and she had no one to blame but herself. Less than a week ago Professor Unstoppable had died in the self destruction of his latest subterranean bases. Seriously, he had always seemed like an unkillable buffoon. And that look. Michelle trembled a little remembering it now.

For someone who always seemed like she was one failed scheme away from killing Unstoppable herself, there was no mistaking the killer rage in the look Kim had given her afterwards. Whatever progress she had been making on the villain was gone in a flash, replaced by only the vow to get revenge. It was all gone now and Michelle had been feeling the brunt of it for six long days.

The Professor hadn't even been that bad, thinking about it now. He tried to turn Greenland into a giant taco once. He attempted to create a mutant gerbil army once, but that went out the window when he became afraid of them. About the worst he had ever done was in stealing that mind control trip, but even that was foiled pathetically. Michelle had to admit, though, Kim's clothes moved better than her own mission suit.

Of course, there was also the fact that he had inadvertently helped them save the world on three separate occasions. Seriously, he was actually better at saving the world than taking it over and he had never even known it. A fresh pang of guilt ran through her at that thought while her father disengaged from his hug.

"Try to get some sleep, okay Shelly-cub," He questioned her eyes as she reluctantly relinquished her spot on the bed whilst he peeled back the wonderful pink wonderland. She slid into the nice crevice he created for her and reluctantly closed her eyes as he tucked her in. There was nothing for a tortured psyche like having your father tuck you in and kiss you goodnight, "It will all start looking better soon."

Michelle Alexa Govetsky was asleep before the lights were even out. Her sleep would be fitful and frightening, but it would be the first unaided sleep she had obtained since the accident. Maybe things were looking up. Maybe, just maybe, she could get through this.

A/N: Confused? God, I would be. In case you hadn't caught it yet, you just met reverse Shego. I have a feeling there will be a full 3 parts of this particular story. It might be longer, it might not, so you never know. Who knew that writing reverse Shego would be so much fun, though. She's cute, a little tortured, and just oh so likeable.

Oh, and before you go down my throat about the Wade thing...seriously there is no way to reverse Wade. I just can't imagine Shego as 'Kim' without a Wade for the team (No, Drew will never get to be Wade for me). So, reverse Wade ended up being just Wade.

Oh, and yeah. A quick shout out to Simply Supreme for creating the one version of Shego's real name that sticks with me. Seriously, the rest are just sort of in one ear and out the other, but this one is one I truly love. Go, read Dear Diary. Read it right now. Read all of it, then come back and read the next chapter. Do it.

Next Time: That Sinking Feeling Pt. 2 ~ Can Michelle come to grips with her grief? What happened to Kim after losing her supervillain? And, just what the heck is going on with this story?