"Oh, Sora, quit whining. I'm sure he's not that bad." The girl sitting on his bed, surrounded by Biology books, notes, and class syllabi, was Kairi. She was one of the more popular girls on campus, and quickly becoming one of his best friends at Traverse Town University. She was pretty, too, with cutely styled shoulder-length red hair, blue eyes, and perpetually pink cheeks. She had the smile of a goddess, and the brain of… someone who could do unit conversion really easily.
"He's been stealing my shampoo. And conditioner. And body wash. His hair gets on every surface of the bathroom. It looks like I do some kind of charity work bathing seniors," Sora grumbled, leaning back in his chair. "Plus, he's never awake before I am."
"That's a feat," she giggled.
"He steals all my food. The only thing he buys for himself are those weird breakfast shakes. I went to take one, and he totally freaked out."
Kairi stuck her tongue out. "You wouldn't like those things anyway. They're gritty and gross. But it's sounding to me like you need to talk to him about it. It's not like he's lighting your hair on fire and drowning chickens in your bathroom sink. A little bit of communication can't hurt," she shrugged.
Sora swiveled around, groaning in faux-agony. She had a point. But she had also never met Riku. He wasn't exactly the world's most sociable person. It was rare to see him interacting with others on a voluntary basis.
As if on cue, the door beeped as Riku slid his key card and entered. He dropped his bookbag with a thud, and Sora could have sworn that he felt the floor shudder. Damn, how many text books did he have in there?
"Uh, hey. What're you up to?" Sora asked lamely.
Riku took in the sight before him, and for the first time, Sora saw him smirk. "Don't mind me. I wouldn't want to interrupt your remedial science lesson," he purred, hips swaying as he sat down and reclined on his bed.
"Can you say anything nice? Ever?" Sora asked. Riku clicked his tongue as he picked up a book he'd left on the bed, next to an old bowl of what used to be Sora's ice cream. Gross.
"Am I making you look bad in front of your girlfriend?"
Sora went red. "I'm not- I mean, she's no-"
Riku just chuckled to himself, licking his finger and turning the page.
Kairi, equally embarrassed, gathered her belongings. "I think I know what you mean, Sora. I'll get going. Uh, see you in Bio tomorrow?"
"Uhh, yeah. See you then," Sora chirped lamely. As soon as Kairi was gone, he turned to Riku, face alight with anger.
"There is no way that you're actually a human," Sora criticized. "Can't you just pretend to be a good person for five minutes? Please?"
Riku looked at Sora and pursed his pale lips. "That scrunched up little face you do when you're mad is classic," he purred, crossing his legs and making himself more comfortable on Tidus' old bedspread.
It wasn't unusual for Sora to be running late. Honestly, most of his professors didn't even bother to take attendance until at least ten minutes had passed. That meant he had about.. oh, eight minutes or so to haul ass across campus.
He'd taken a shower the night before, so he was in no crisis over his cleanliness.. but it was the day before shopping day. How was he supposed to go to Biology on an empty stomach? What was worse, was that he couldn't even steal from Kairi's endless supply of fruit snacks. He hadn't seen her for a few days, and it was becoming worrisome.
His rumbling stomach pulled him out of his thoughts. He opened the minifridge, and stared blankly at the army of breakfast shakes invading the bottom shelf. He wouldn't stoop to Riku's level… would he?
He would. Riku probably wouldn't notice- he hadn't come back the night before. Maybe he was going to move out, too, just like Tidus?
Too hungry to care, Sora ripped the cap off of the shake and tossed the hunk of molded plastic in the general direction of the trash can. He brought the container to his lips as he picked up his bookbag. Being the slob he was, he hardly noticed when the contents dribbled down his chin.. but he definitely noticed when it didn't taste like French Vanilla.
He touched his lips and saw red on his fingertips.
And he screamed.
"Sora?! Oh my God, what happened?! Where does it hurt?"
The first place Sora thought to go was Roxas' room. Being the responsible twin, the boy had most of his classes in the afternoon, and was often studying by the time Sora left for class. So he'd run down the hall, and damn near broke his brother's door off the hinges. In his opinion, his alarm was totally warranted.
"Roxas, stop, stop. I'm not bleeding." He batted his brother away, who happened to have grabbed a hoodie from the floor and was trying to stem some vicious wound by smothering Sora.
"You're not? Then where did-" Roxas lost his thought as Sora shoved the corrupted breakfast shake into his hand. He looked down at it, sniffed it, and grimaced.
"Riku is officially a psychopath," Sora lamented, wiping off his face with Roxas' hoodie. "Who does that? Who puts blood in a Kellogg's breakfast shake container as a prank?" he asked, voice still panicked as he wiped his mouth off as best he could. "I'm going to call the head of Housing. I'm going to call Health Services. I'm going to call the Dea-"
"Woah now, little buddy. No need to get the Dean involved." Axel finally spoke up, waving his hands. "Besides. If you raise a fuss, they'll stick you with someone way worse just for bitching. Trust me, I've seen it a dozen times."
Axel raised a good point. The Dean of Students at Traverse Town University was notoriously scary. He was a roughly middle-aged man with creepy gold eyes, grey hair that looked like it'd been that color for a while, and a really intense tan. He invoked terror, not academic integrity and pursuit. Nobody fucked with the Dean.
Sora watched as Roxas took the hoodie back and examined it. Sure, he and Tidus had never really been a dream team… but Tidus never hid bodily fluids in bottles. Well, except for that one time, but they'd both agreed to expunge that from the record on account of how intoxicated they'd both been. Riku had to go. All he needed was proof that life with Riku was simply some form of cruel and unusual punishment.
"Hey, it's probably not even real blood," Roxas reasoned, picking the container up and sniffing it. Face scrunched, he put it down carefully. "Where the hell did he even get that?"
For an intense situation like Operation: Confront Riku, Sora was going to need backup. Axel and Roxas were givens. He'd really wished that Kairi would answer the phone… but she was probably stricken with that weird flu that had been going around ever since the Alchemy Club released those spores across campus.
They were waiting for him when he returned from his 300-level Philosophy class. Almost a ritual at that point, they watched as he threw down his immensely heavy bag, shucked off his leather jacket, and settled down on the bed.
"Did I do something worthy of an audience?" he asked, not even looking as he booted up his laptop. They weren't doing a great job of being subtle.
The bold one in the group, Roxas stood and held the tainted breakfast shake container in front of Riku's face. Sora couldn't analyze the emotions in those ethereal blue eyes as Riku took the bottle gingerly. He peeked inside and dipped the tip of his little finger inside before licking it off. Sora's heart pounded.
"...Why did you put blood in the protein shake?" he asked, brow raised. Sora's face fell.
"I didn't! That's yours! I opened it, and that was what was inside?"
Riku placed the bottle on his bedside table. "Maybe that's what happens when you touch my shit?" he accused calmly, turning his attention back to his laptop.
Roxas looked at the others in the room to confirm his suspicions. "Did you just imply that it turned to blood when Sora picked it up?"
Riku raised an eyebrow in confirmation.
It was Axel who finally broke the silence. "Bruh."
"I know that this is Traverse Town and all, but this is insane," Sora cried, swiveling his chair toward his roommate. "Maybe I should suck it up and take this to the Dea-"
Riku chuckled. "You? Go to the Dean? Nice try, Flounder. He'd tear you a new one for crying to him for something as inconsequential as some dorm prank."
Axel shrugged. "Told you, man. No one fucks with the Dean."
Sora groaned. "Fine. That doesn't change the fact that you're a sociopath," he accused.
Riku responded by blowing him a kiss.
Axel took Roxas' arm. "Hey. This has been a pretty chill chat, right guys? I'll bring by some pamphlets on solving problems. In the meantime, communicate. Got it memorized?" he asked, tapping his temple and shooing Roxas out. The last thing Sora heard was some line from Roxas about not having any pamphlets that 'address what to do when your roommate puts blood in protein shake bottles.'
And now Sora was determined. Operation: Confront Riku had turned right into Operation: Get Riku Out.