Chapter 2 – Give me a call whenever you like to.
The thing is with Berry, is how goddamn self righteous and annoying the dwarfette can be. She grates on my last nerve, and I personally spend a lot my time pretending she doesn't exist. So why she thinks she has to be the one to come to my rescue is literally beyond me.
But here she is anyway, following me down the hall as I try with all my might to ignore her presence.
"Santana, if you could just wait a moment, please." It was kind of funny to hear her shuffling to keep up. It's not my fault she's such a short stack.
"Berry, I didn't ask you to follow me out here, and I certainly don't want to talk to you or probably even look at you." I picked up the pace just to get away from her. I was almost at the exit doors, just a few more steps and I'd be free.
"I saw what happened with Brittany you know." Berry's voice echoed down the empty corridor.
I stopped in my tracks. I could feel the panic start to set in, my heart racing and the blood pounding in my ears.
"What did you say?" My voice came out surprisingly even and eerily calm.
"I uh, I saw you the other day. When you were talking." Rachel had caught up and now stood in front of the doors, kind of blocking my path. My escape route. I don't look at her, as she speaks, focusing on the row of lockers to the side of her.
"I just want you to know that, what just happened in there was really unfair. The way nobody spoke up for you. It was really mean."
"I don't need anybody speaking up for me RuPaul, least of all you. I can look after my own shit."
"Everybody needs someone, Santana. That's kind of the way life works."
How dare she think she is even on the same level to even be talking to be right now. I watch her, lips moving up and down, but I'm drowning out her awful babbling and focusing on my anger.
"Stop talking." I close my eyes, but it's clear that I'm not the only one who isn't paying attention around here. She keeps going and going and I can feel myself starting to snap and before I can stop myself I shove her roughly against the doors.
"I said stop fucking talking Rachel."
Then my mouth was on hers and what the hell was happening? This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't responding, I guess it was the shock. Jesus even I was in shock and I was the one doing it. I was rough as hell as I pressed my body into the little midget's. Her lips were soft and smooth and I just wanted to feel something. Feel anything. But not with her. Never with her.
I pushed her away from me, her eyes staring at me wide and questioning.
"What was that?"
Tears were starting to form in my eyes. I couldn't let her see this, I couldn't break in front of her. I guess by kissing her though, I already had.
"Please stop talking. Berry if you want to keep your limbs. You'll move out of my way, now."
I could still see the shock on her face. She was breathing heavily, yet so was I. I wanted to climb out of my skin, just shed it here on the floor and start over again a new person, with a new life and not in this fucking miserable place that just pours heartbreak and pain on everything and anyone.
Rachel stepped hesitantly to the side as she brought you hand to her mouth. Her hand was shaking. I moved past her and through the doors.
"You love her don't you?" She just couldn't leave it alone. I closed my eyes and sighed.
I didn't turn, I just opened the door and walked out, my hands shaking just like hers as i fumbled with my car keys and sat inside. I wanted to get home and blast Eminem through my speakers and fantasise about massacring the glee club starting with Quinn fabray. I didn't want to go back there. To that school.
Thinking about that only made me think of berry. Why wasn't she top of my shit list? I should want to wipe her out first. We kissed. Or, I kissed I guess, but she was starting to kiss back. And it kind of didn't suck.
Oh fuck, I need to get home, I need to brush my teeth, disinfect, bleach, oh God anything to get the taste of Rachel Berry off me. I just need to forget. I need to forget that everybody wants everybody else more than they want me. Forget that I'm never enough for anyone. Brittany won't even look at me, and every time that happens it's like the knife twists even further into my back. She wanted me to tell her how I felt, and I did and look what happened. Feeling is pain.
I look up sharply as my car door opens and then Berry is sat in my passenger seat.
Umm how did that happen? I'm so shocked at the balls this chick has, that I can't even speak. I am speechless. That just doesn't occur.
She stares intently at me for a moment, and wow she really does have pretty eyes. All dark brown and chocolately.
"Why did you kiss me? You can't just invade a somebody's personal space and kiss them. Sure it was a very nice kiss and I did kind of enjoy it, but why did you do that? It's not right and I'm sure it will inevitably end in you ruining my life or my reputation?" I could see that Berry was about to go on one of her babblefests.
"It was the only way I could think of shutting you up." I interrupted before she gave me her entire life story. I thought about what she had said. "But you liked it. Ha." I gave her one of my famous Santana smirks. Oh yeah, I've still got it. Never lost it.
"Well, I, no, I uhh didn't mean it like that. Why are you looking at me that way?"
I shrugged my shoulders and continued smirking. It was kind of fun messing with her. When I didn't reply I could see the little midget beginning to get angry. Yes this was fun.
"What the hell do you want from me Santana? I think you've made it perfectly clear that you hate me. That you want nothing to do with me. That you're a user and I just wanted to help you, because too know the pain of unrequited love, but the way you have chosen to behave is so childish and this stupid game can end here and we can at least be civil and hold conversation..."
"You followed me Rachel. I didn't ask you to come and sit here or even talk to me." I cut her off. "Don't think you can analyse me and I'm not some project for you to focus on. You're not my therapist and we don't need to be having any conversations. You can vacate my car now." Yep this was starting to be not so fun anymore.
"Fine, be alone then. I just wanted to talk to you. Maybe try and help in some way. Even be a friend. Something you don't have a lot of right now. I wonder why."Rachel got out and slammed the door behind her.
"You don't exactly have people knocking your door down to hang out either, Berry." I called out of the window, always needing to have the last word. Something strange happened though, the way her face fell and she sighed sadly. I actually kind of felt...bad.
"I guess we have more in common than you think, then."
I watched the back of her head as she walked back into school. Seriously could my life be any more complicated. I sighed deeply, rubbing at my face distractedly before starting the car and driving home.